When Han and Chewie returned to the cockpit toward the end of the flight, Ben relinquished the captain's chair to his father and buckled in behind him. Neither man nor Wookiee said anything to him as they dropped out of hyperspace and approached their destination. Ben preferred it that way.
They landed on the jungle moon Ajan Kloss, near another abandoned rebel base. Leia led the last of the Resistance members out onto the moon surface, where they went about setting up a piecemeal camp, clearing out the meeting chambers, and assessing the mess hall for salvageable goods. There wasn't much.
After several hours of work, the worn soldiers trailed into the barracks, claiming berths along the way. They were exhausted after the battle on Crait, followed by little to no sitting room on the Falcon to rest. A few people simply laid down where they stood, pillowed their heads on their packs, and promptly passed out, their snores echoing in the dimly-lit corridors.
Ben trudged through them to the end of the corridor, where he found a small, isolated room. The wall lamp switched on with a flicker when he entered. The cot looked to be in decent condition, so he dropped his pack on the floor and collapsed on top of the coverlet, intending to catch a little sleep while he could. His feet dangled off the end of the cot. With a grumble, he turned on his side and drew his knees up, then rested his head on his forearm and closed his eyes.
Seemingly moments later, there came a knock at his door. He opened his gritty eyes, wondering who in the kriffing hell had managed to find him, and sat up. Pushing himself off the cot, he went to answer the door.
It was Rose. "Leia called a meeting," she said.
He nodded wordlessly.
She gave him a once-over. "Ben, are you okay?" she asked gently.
The question took him by surprise. Perhaps it shouldn't have. They'd never been bosom buddies, but the little engineer had always been everything gentle and kind. He knew the question was genuine, and her concern was sincere. It was almost enough to make him break down and confess all to her. But it wouldn't do any good.
"I'm fine," he said instead. "I'll be right there."
…
He found his way to the meeting chamber, where Leia and the rest of the Resistance had gathered. Rey and the tactical team were there, too.
"I hope everyone has had a chance to settle in and rest for a while," Leia said from her place in the center of the room. "I realize the circumstances are not ideal. We're low on food and fuel. We have sustained heavy losses. We are exhausted, and afraid."
She held up a finger. "But… we cannot lose sight of what we have achieved. We have succeeded where, by all logic, we should've failed. We have survived. Again and again, we've tested the First Order's defenses and challenged their claim to power. We are the spark that will light the fire that will restore the Republic.* We aren't through fighting yet.
"As soon as communications are up, I plan to resume reaching out to our allies," she continued. "I am certain that once they realize we survived the battle on Crait, they will come to our aid. In the meantime, we will work to make this base hospitable and safe. Lieutenant Connix, if you would, confer with everyone to see what supplies we need, and we will organize a run. Let's have a list compiled by the end of this day cycle. Rose? I need you to work with me on establishing communications. Commander Dameron, have the pilots assess any ships left in the hangar. We need to know what we have available."
Poe nodded, eager as always to be in a cockpit. The others likewise acknowledged their assigned tasks.
"Any questions?" When the room remained silent, Leia dismissed everyone. "Tactical team, please stay behind—I need to talk with you."
Ben watched the rest of the Resistance leave the meeting chamber, then reluctantly crossed the room to join the team gathered around Leia.
Leia waited until the door to the chamber closed, then addressed them. "I've thought more about the situation with Starkiller Base," she announced. "Though I am reluctant to permit it, after speaking with Ben, I believe we should move forward with the mission." She eyed them gravely. "At this time, I do not have the manpower to provide you with backup should things go awry. This could very well turn into a suicide mission. I don't like it, but I'm starting to wonder if we will ever have another choice. The First Order is strong, and they continue to grow stronger. I am trying to obtain support, but I don't know if it will arrive in time."
Ben could see the weight of her admission pressing on her. The others exchanged worried glances. But there was no other way.
"If we don't do this," he spoke quietly, "we might not win the war. Every day we wait is another day closer to the launch of the Sith Eternal fleet. We can't allow that to happen."
The others nodded in agreement.
"Then figure out a way to get onto Starkiller Base and commandeer the controls," Leia urged. "I hereby give you leave to use any means necessary to see this mission through. I will do my best to provide you with supplies, as much as we can spare." She touched Ben's arm. "Keep me posted."
She left to oversee the rest of the recruits, leaving the team to their work.
Ben steeled himself, then turned to Poe. "Any ideas to get us on-planet?" he asked. His voice came out flat and cool.
Poe grimaced. "Well, one, but you guys aren't gonna like it."
"What is it?" Finn asked.
"Well, it's the shields that are the problem, right?" the pilot began to explain. "If we can't get the shields down, then we've gotta break through them somehow. As big as Starkiller Base is, their shields are going to be near impenetrable. The only way to get through them"—he winced—"is at lightspeed."
The rest of the group erupted into arguments.
"There's no way!"
"We'd smash into the surface and be little more than a small crater!"
"They'd have to mop us up, then they'd torture us."
Ben looked at the pilot sharply. Unbeknownst to the team, there was a precedent to that idea. In his vision, Han had done exactly that in the Falcon. It had worked, but it had been extremely risky. Only the best pilots had any chance of pulling it off, and even then, it was practically begging for a swift, fiery death.
And there was no chance in the burning depths of Mustafar's scorching lava flows that Ben was letting Han anywhere near Starkiller Base again.
"Let's keep thinking," Ben said aloud. But at least we have a backup...
Poe slapped his hands on his thighs. "While we do that, I'm gonna go check out the hangar."
"I'll start looking at the communication systems," Rose added. "If any of us thinks of anything, use the linked comms to call the others."
The team dispersed, each going off to pursue their own mission. Finn linked his hand with Rose's and went with her. At Poe's nod, Rey followed him to the hangar.
Ben went back to his room, and locked the door with a sigh of relief. Hopefully now, he wouldn't have to speak to anyone for the rest of the evening. He didn't feel like dealing with them. It was late, and he was exhausted.
But sleep wouldn't be coming anytime soon. Even if he didn't have to speak to anyone, there was still work to be done.
He dug the Jedi texts out of his bag and settled cross-legged on his cot. He pulled the first text toward him and flipped through it, hoping to find something that might jog his memory or spur any ideas for how to get onto Starkiller Base without being detected. When that text proved fruitless, he tossed it aside and seized the next one. But it, too, held no miraculous solutions to their looming problem. He slammed it closed and grabbed the next one.
He worked his way through the entire stack without learning anything that might help them. Hours later, with a frustrated grunt, he threw the final book aside. How the utter hell were they supposed to pull this off?
Frowning, he closed his eyes, took a steadying breath, and willed himself to meditate. Perhaps the Force would divulge an answer where the texts did not. But his mind wasn't peaceful, and he couldn't calm it enough to focus on his meditation. When he released control of his mind and tried to relax, his thoughts drifted to troubling places, leaving him vacillating between frustration and uneasiness.
Questions preyed on his mind. How were they possibly going to pull this off? Would they end the war, or would they die trying? Would Rey ever speak to him again? Did he have any hope of a future with her, or would he meet the same fate as he did in his vision?
Ben…
His eyes snapped open. "What?" he demanded, turning to see who had come in.
But there was no one else in the room.
You don't have to be alone…
He jumped off the cot and was halfway to the door, intent on reaming whoever was standing outside talking to him, when he realized he wasn't hearing the voice with his ears. His pulse quickened.
The last time that had happened, it had been Rey speaking to him through their bond. But this didn't sound like Rey.
And then he knew. He hadn't heard the voice in years, but he knew exactly who it was.
"Palpatine," he whispered with growing dread.
You know you would have a place among us, the Sith Lord whispered in his mind. You would be respected, trusted, revered…
Ben felt his hackles rise. "No," he growled. "I will not join you."
What has the Light ever done for you, my boy? They have denied you, ostracized you, ridiculed you…
"They've given me a chance," Ben retorted, ignoring the desperate undercurrent in his voice. "They brought me in and gave me a place among them."
They've used you for your knowledge and abilities, Palpatine replied snidely. They've kept you in check, not allowing you to realize your full potential.
For a moment, Ben faltered. Palpatine's words rang uncomfortably true.
Join me, Palpatine hissed.
Unbidden, Rey's hazel eyes flashed through Ben's mind. The excited spark in them when she learned something new. The mischievous glittering when she teased him. The roaring blaze when she was angered. The glowing embers when she was determined to succeed.
"No," Ben snarled to the empty room. "I will never join you."
A breathy laugh sent a foreboding shiver down his spine. Ah, Palpatine sneered. You have gone the way of Vader. You have fallen… for a woman. Your compassion will be your undoing.
Ben set his jaw. "My compassion is my making," he said firmly.
She is conflicted. There is a pull in her, a draw to the Dark Side. We will turn her. Together.
"You'll die trying."
The dark presence dissipated with a deep, lingering laugh.
As the oppressive weight lifted, Ben sucked in a rattling breath. He'd never engaged the voice in conversation before, and he'd certainly never argued with it before. He realized he'd broken out in a cold sweat, and shivered in the suddenly chill air.
This was bad.
Feeling uneasy and somehow defiled, Ben grabbed a set of fresh clothes and ventured to the fresher. After a moment of fiddling with the rusted pipes, he managed to get the hot water running, and took a scalding shower, scrubbing every inch of skin until it was raw.
By the time he finished, it was very late. There would be no more work for him tonight. He laid down on the small cot, curling on his side in order to fit, and closed his eyes. Sleep was a long time coming, but eventually he drifted into a restless slumber.
…
A few short hours later, in the grey light of pre-dawn, Ben jerked awake and sat straight up in bed with a gasp, his heart pounding against his ribcage.
He knew how to get onto Starkiller Base.
The shock of the realization left him jittery with nervous energy. It was an absolutely insane idea. Completely mad. But given his history, he knew he could do it. They could do it.
He wouldn't be going back to sleep, now.
He climbed out of bed, got dressed, grabbed his lightsaber, and headed out of the barracks into the surrounding jungle. An hour or so of training would help him calm down enough to gather his thoughts, and give him enough time to mull things over so that he would be coherent when he shared the idea with the others.
He practiced until the sun had risen through the canopy, turning the jungle into a sparkling meshwork of green and gold. He was sweaty and out of breath after the harsh workout, but his restlessness had finally subsided into mere impatience. He went back to the barracks for another quick shower, then headed to the mess hall for caf and a bite of whatever unspoiled rations were left to finish organizing his thoughts.
But to his surprise, when he walked in, Rey and Rose were already there, chatting quietly over tin mugs of caf. A steaming percolator sat on the sideboard for anyone else who came in.
He hesitated by the doorway for only a moment, then ducked his head and made his way over to the sideboard. For all his intentions to speak to the team, now that he was faced with them—with her—he just wanted to go back to his room. Perhaps he could share his thoughts with Leia later, see if she thought his idea was any good. He picked up a fresh cup and reached for the carafe.
Behind him, the girls stopped talking. He felt their eyes on his back, surreptitiously following him as he went about procuring caf and food. Their silence stung like salt in an open wound.
The chilly awkwardness grew until finally he could no longer ignore them. Glancing over his shoulder, he hissed, "Don't mind me. I was just about to leave."
He picked up his cup and ration, intent on the door, but before he could slip back out of the mess hall, a voice hailed him. "Ben?"
Rose's soft call traveled easily across the empty mess hall, so easily that he knew he couldn't pretend he hadn't heard it. He turned, leveling her with a half-hearted glare.
"Come sit with us," she beckoned.
He almost kept walking. But there was no reason he could give them not to join them. It would only lead to further strained relationships, and the mission couldn't handle that.
He trudged back across the hall and slid rigidly into the seat next to Rose, not looking at either woman. He noted that a near-empty mug sat in front of Rey. She was slumped halfway across the table in front of him, one arm folded across the tabletop with her forehead braced in the other hand. Rose sat beside him, sipping quietly on her caf.
Neither woman spoke.
"I can go if I'm interrupting your conversation," he bit out.
"No, no," Rey said quickly. "You aren't interrupting anything." She sounded tired.
He risked a glance at her. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well."
He frowned. Did her poor night's rest have anything to do with his nocturnal dealings? Had he slipped up and let bits of his frustration and fear leak through the bond?
But she didn't elaborate, so he didn't ask.
Rose got to her feet. "Well, I'd better get an early start on those comm radios," she announced. "The faster we're up and running, the better."
She left them sitting in silence. Ben glared after her retreating form. Rose had been all too obvious, but it was a moot effort. Rey didn't trust him, and he had nothing else to say to her. He had half a mind to follow Rose out of the mess hall. Only the reluctance of further straining the team's relationships kept him there.
Doing his best to act calm and unaffected, he slumped back into the booth. What little appetite he'd had disappeared with Rose's departure, so he settled for drinking the caf. Even that made his stomach roil.
"Ben."
He froze at the soft sound of her voice. The mug stopped halfway back to the table.
"Are you all right?"
He cleared his throat, and set the mug down. "Yes," he replied shortly, avoiding her gaze.
"What happened last night?"
Ah. So he had slipped. "I'm, uh, sorry if you felt any of that," he said carefully. "I thought I had muted our… connection."
In his peripheral vision, he saw her shake her head. "I didn't see or hear anything. I just had this feeling that something bad was happening, but I couldn't get to you. And then this morning, something pulled me out of a dead sleep, and I couldn't fall asleep again."
"I apologize," he said stiffly. "I won't let it happen again." He took a steadying breath and wrapped his fingers around the mug in front of him. "But… I know how to get onto Starkiller Base now," he continued in an undertone.
He risked a glance up at her. She was staring at him, her dull eyes beginning to lighten with hope.
"You do?" she breathed.
He nodded. "We need to get the team together to discuss it."
"I'll get them," she promised. "Meeting chamber?"
He nodded again.
She hesitated. "Ben… are you sure you're all right?"
He held her gaze. He couldn't lie to her, but neither could he tell her the truth. He settled for not saying anything at all. "We'd better get the team together," he mumbled, then tossed back the rest of his caf and rose from the table.
…
He'd been in the meeting chamber for a while when he heard the doors whoosh open. He looked up from where he'd been configuring the settings on the old holoprojector and watched as Rey led the way in. The team spread out around the table, warily looking up at the familiar holo display and exchanging glances in silence.
Poe spoke first. "Uh, not sure if you remember, buddy, but our base on D'Qar was discovered by the First Order and razed to the ground."
"I know," Ben said. "That's why we're going back."
"What?" the pilot exploded. Finn cocked his head in confusion, and the girls looked at him questioningly.
"Ben, what exactly is your plan?" Rey asked.
He tapped a finger on the edge of the table. "We're going to disguise ourselves and march onto Starkiller Base in broad daylight, and the First Order is going to let us," he said decisively.
The group gaped at him.
"He's lost his mind," Finn muttered to himself, throwing up his hands in defeat.
"How exactly do you propose we do that?" Poe snapped.
"By not smearing ourselves across the surface of the planet, for starters," Ben retorted, fixing the pilot with a glare. "How else do you propose we get past the shields, if not at lightspeed?"
Rey's expression cleared. "By pretending to be part of the First Order," she said, catching on.
Ben nodded approvingly. "We're going back to D'Qar to search for an appropriate transport and uniforms. If we look the part, at least the First Order won't shoot us out of the sky. We can request landing privileges, then make our way inside."
"And how do you propose we disguise ourselves?" Poe demanded. "Find a couple of spare Stormtrooper uniforms?"
"That's not a bad idea," Ben drawled, staring coldly at the pilot. "I'll see if I can find a helmet big enough to fit you."
Poe glowered at him.
"That might be tough," Finn chimed in, and Ben smirked at him appreciatively. "But in all seriousness, that's a terrible idea. You can't see anything out of those helmets."
"If you all would let me finish," Ben intoned. When they fell quiet, he continued, "A Stormtrooper wouldn't have enough clout to pass unquestioned through the corridors anyway. I was thinking more along the lines of officer uniforms. It's a big enough station that people won't realize they don't recognize you, and they'll let you through."
"Are you sure?" Finn asked nervously.
Ben shrugged. "Probably."
Finn gulped.
"You keep saying 'you' like you aren't going with us," Poe said sharply.
Ben met his gaze evenly. "That's because Rey and I will be dressing as Knights of Ren."
"The who?" Rey asked. She looked around at the others, who had fallen silent at the name.
"The Knights of Ren are a Force-sensitive band of elite soldiers who serve Palpatine directly," Ben explained to Rey, and her eyes widened. "The mention of them strikes fear into the hearts of the bravest of men. If we arrive on Starkiller Base dressed as Knights, no one will stop us."
"I thought the Knights had a very, ah, unique get-up," Finn said, gesturing around his head and face.
"I know; I'm working on it. That's another reason we need to go to D'Qar—I need scrap metal."
"This… actually sounds promising," Rose spoke up for the first time. "More than attempting to land at lightspeed, anyway." She grimaced apologetically at Poe.
"I actually agree," Poe said, sounding surprised at himself. "So when do we leave?"
"As soon as possible," Ben replied. "Have you assessed the ships in the hangar?"
"Still working on it. A couple of the smaller transports seem okay, but we still gotta check the bigger ones. And we're low on fuel."
"We need to take something with room for storage," Ben said. "Make sure that either way, we leave plenty of transports for the remaining Resistance members in case they need to get off-planet quickly. Then we'll pack up and head out."
Poe nodded. Ben shut off the holotable, and the group dispersed.
A/N: Starred (*) phrases were borrowed from Star Wars!