Ben's perspective
He jerked awake at the sound of an alarm, and instantly grimaced as his various strained muscles pulled.
"It's okay," Rey's calm voice came from above him. "It's just the alert I set. We're getting close to Ajan Kloss."
He became aware of the pressure of her hand, still resting over his heart. The other carded through his hair, but had paused at the sound of the alert. He looked from the direction of the cockpit up to her. She was smiling down at him, and there was a sparkle in her eyes that hadn't been there before.
Or perhaps it had been, but he just hadn't realized it.
She tapped his shoulder, and he reluctantly let her up. She was across the room and through the door in a blink, and a moment later, the alert stopped trilling. The Falcon shuddered as it came out of hyperspace.
He levered himself up and stiffly trailed after her, still in a daze. He could hardly believe that Rey had come for him. It didn't feel real. After all, in what version of the galaxy did she return his feelings?
He must be in some form of shock, he decided as he joined her in the cockpit. Either that, or he was subconsciously waiting for the other shoe to drop. The things he wanted weren't simply handed to him like this, but he was still too tired to critically think through it. For now, the processing would have to wait.
Ajan Kloss loomed large in the viewport's scope. He eased himself into the co-pilot's chair, looking up at the vast jungle moon with a mix of mild disappointment and unease. Strange, that. This place was supposed to represent safety, yet he found he wasn't ready to be back yet. He wished he could suspend the last few hours in time, and stay in the Falcon for just a little while longer…
She glanced over at him as he sat down, brow furrowed with a question as she took in his stiff movements. "I'm fine," he assured her quietly.
She didn't look convinced, but she returned her attention to the controls. She brought the Falcon through the midday atmosphere and dipped low, angling into the hangar entrance and hovering over the other transports before gently setting the ship down. The engines groaned as they began to power down. She began to shut down the rest of the systems, reaching above her head to flick the last of the switches, and glanced through the viewport as she did so. Suddenly her eyes locked on something, and she bit her lip.
Frowning, he followed her gaze.
A few people working in the hangar had paused to watch the unexpected landing. But that wasn't what had caught Rey's attention. Striding through the ships was a group of officials, led by one very angry-looking Poe Dameron. Leia, Luke, Han and Chewie were among them. Even Finn and Rose had tagged along.
Ben swallowed. Only now did he realize how suspicious it must've looked. They didn't have a good explanation for where they'd gone. In fact, looking back, it had been an incredibly stupid waste of resources and an unnecessary risk to both their lives—which, of course, had been part of the plan for himself all along, but not for her.
"Did you, uh, tell anyone where you were going?" he asked, looking over at Rey.
She shook her head. "I didn't have time."
Poe stopped outside the ship and gestured for them to come out.
"I'll handle this," Rey said. Her voice sounded rather tense.
The group was waiting for them at the base of the open ramp. Others had gathered around, curious as to what was happening. Not giving him an option to refuse, Rey reached behind her and took his hand. Maintaining a firm grip, she kept him just behind her as she strode down the ramp to face the group.
"Where the hell have you two been?" Poe demanded. His fists were planted firmly on his hips as he watched them descend the ramp.
"Jedi business," Rey answered curtly.
"Jedi business?" Luke interjected. His eyes flicked over Rey's head to Ben. "That neither I nor my sister knew about?"
Before Ben could answer, Rey's grip on his fingers tightened. "It was related to the mission," she said, drawing Luke's attention back to her. "'Use any means necessary,' right? We had a hunch, and decided to go check it out."
"And you decided to steal my ship to do it?" Han demanded. "Without asking me?"
Chewie muttered something to him.
"Lay off, Chewie, I know what 'stealing' means!"
"Your ship wasn't the only one that was taken," Poe said, pointing to the smaller vessel that had landed some distance away. "That transport was reported missing as well." He turned to the pair. "Care to explain?"
Rey's shoulders dropped infinitesimally. "When I said 'we' had a hunch, I meant Ben had a hunch," she replied.
Ben's heart thudded in his chest. She wasn't going to tell them, was she?
"I was up late, and happened to see his transport leaving. I knew I had to follow him. I went for the first ship I recognized—sorry, Han, I didn't mean any harm by it."
"That was incredibly dangerous and foolish of the both of you," Luke berated. Beside him, Han seemed only slightly mollified.
"Why did you go off on your own?" Leia asked Ben. "Why didn't you tell anyone where you were going?"
But again, Rey answered quicker. "I'm afraid that's my fault, General."
"No, Rey—" Ben started.
She squeezed his hand again. "No, it is." Her voice shook. "I'm afraid I've been rather awful toward Ben lately. We all have. We made him feel like we didn't trust him, so he went off on his own."
Ben caught a glimpse of Rose and Finn in the gathered crowd. They both looked away guiltily.
"In fact, I get the impression that's generally been the way Ben has been regarded since long before I arrived here," Rey continued, looking around pointedly. The crowd shifted uneasily.
"Rey, please," Ben whispered from behind her.
She glanced sharply over her shoulder at him. He shook his head.
Leia finally took mercy on them. "All right, everybody," she said to the gathered people. "Back to your stations."
The crowd dispersed at her directive, but the tactical team remained behind, as did Leia and Luke.
"Okay," Luke said, his voice low and rumbling. "What actually happened?" His piercing blue eyes moved from Ben to Rey and back. "Why didn't you come to me with your hunch?" His voice dropped. "Was it anything to do with Palpatine?"
"If it was, would you have helped him?" Rey shot back.
Luke met her gaze and, surprisingly, fell silent.
But Poe didn't. Folding his arms over his chest, he nodded at Ben. "He's been awfully quiet so far," he said, the hint of a challenge in his tone. "Why don't you let him speak for himself, Rey?"
Rey glowered at the pilot. "Because he's been through hell, he's exhausted, and he doesn't need you lot bearing down on him, demanding answers and then questioning the answers he gives you," she retorted.
Poe's brow furrowed in offense. He looked to Ben, and then back to her. Only then did he seem to notice their clasped hands.
"What the hell is that?" he hissed angrily, pointing. He glared up at Ben.
Rey stepped in front of Ben. "You forget that Ben is not the enemy, Poe," she reminded the pilot, an edge of steel beneath her even tone.
Poe squared off with her, jaw set and eyes flicking between her own. "I don't trust him," he said in a low voice.
"But I do." Her voice gentled. "I've seen him through the eyes of the Force. I know you've had your fears and doubts about him. He's had them about himself. But trust me, Poe. Okay?"
The pilot studied her a moment longer. After a beat, something shifted in his gaze. He scowled up at Ben from beneath furrowed brows, fists clenched at his sides, then he whirled on his heel and left. Finn and Rose lingered for a moment, then they left too.
Leia placed a hand on Rey's arm, then the other more tentatively on Ben's. "Listen, whatever happened, we can discuss it more later if we need to. You both look dead on your feet. Go and rest."
She squeezed their arms, giving them a last, lingering look, then collected her brother and steered him out of the hangar.
Without the impending threat of an angry mob standing before him, the last bit of adrenaline keeping Ben on his feet drained away, and he gave an involuntary shiver. He was beyond exhausted. His legs felt weak, his shoulders were tight, and he ached all over.
"You don't look well," Rey observed, eyeing him with concern. "Do you need to go to the med bay?"
He shook his head, then closed his eyes as a wave of dizziness washed over him. "No. I just need to lie down."
Her fingers squeezed his. "Come on."
Unable to think straight, he allowed himself to be tugged by their linked hands. They left the hangar and headed through the base to the barracks.
They stopped a few doors shy of his quarters, and Rey opened the door to her room. His sluggish mind spent a moment wondering if she'd really been this close all along, before she paused in the doorway and turned to face him. Her cheeks were faintly pink.
"Stay with me," she blurted, and to his amazement, the flush deepened. "Just to sleep." Her grasp on his hand tightened. "I don't want to be separated from you just yet."
He blinked slowly at her. Stars, he'd give anything just to curl up against her and sleep. "I'll stay as long as you want," he whispered.
Her eyes held his, and through the bone-deep fatigue, he sensed something significant pass between them. Something certain and determined. He was at once comforted and overwhelmed by it.
"Come on," she said, and gently pulled him inside. The door slid closed behind him.
Reaching for her belt as she padded toward the bed, she undid the clasp and tossed the length of leather into the corner of the room. "I'm too tired to shower," she said, shrugging out of her vest and tossing that aside, too.
A rush of lightheadedness crashed over him at the sight of her undressing, and he leaned back against the door, taking deep breaths and willing his heart to slow down. Part of him wanted to laugh hysterically, and he wondered if his sanity was slipping. What was she doing? Was she trying to kill him?
She glanced back at him and caught his wide-eyed gaze, and gave him a sleepy grin. "Don't get excited,"* she teased. "Just the outer garments, so we can be comfortable. Leave the essentials on."
He nodded shakily, feeling foolish, then began to disrobe down to his undertunic. Leaving his pants on, he toed off his boots and shuffled across the room to the cot. Similarly dressed in her pants and soft undershirt, Rey waited for him to lie down, then crawled in and curled up in front of him, settling back against his chest and pulling the blanket over them both. She drew his arm around her, interlocking their fingers together and hugging his arm against her sternum with a contented sigh.
He squeezed his eyes shut at the sensation of her in his arms. This was beyond anything he could've imagined. She fitted against him perfectly, like custom ship components designed to join together. Each curve and valley matched up with his every angle. It was almost familiar.
Tentatively, he hugged her a little closer, savoring the warm, sweet softness of her body. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and breathed her in, and felt his shoulders begin to relax at long last. He didn't think his heart could get any fuller than this.
"Rey?" he murmured after a minute.
"Yes?"
"This is real. Right?"+
She brought his hand up and pressed a kiss into his palm. "Does it feel real?" she replied gently.
It was almost too much. He curled his body around hers, hugging his arm around her tightly, and buried his long nose further into her hair. With the scent of her filling his lungs, he finally allowed his exhaustion to pull him into a deep slumber.
…
They slept for hours, straight through lunch and for most of the afternoon, eventually waking with just enough time to grab a late dinner before the mess hall shut down for the evening. When they went to procure food, Rey handed him an extra ration; when he started to protest, she gave him a pointed glare. He bit his tongue and accepted the silent rebuke, and a flash of warmth rushed over him at her protectiveness. It felt good to be cared about.
Rey's attention was diverted by something behind him, and Ben glanced over his shoulder to follow her gaze. Poe, Finn, and Rose were huddled at their typical table. Given the hour, it was unexpected to see them still here.
"They're here late," Rey commented, reflecting his thoughts.
He grunted in acknowledgment, not nearly as enthused to see them as she was.
"Let's go sit with them." She started in their direction.
He immediately stiffened, but she grabbed his hand. "No, come on. If you continue to avoid them, it'll only widen the rift. We need to clear this up right now."
Hating that she was right, he allowed himself to be dragged to the table, but made sure to sit on Rey's other side from the group. He could feel their eyes on him, silently wondering and judging. It made his skin prickle.
"I guess you two made up, then?" Finn asked carefully.
Ben looked up in time to catch a significant look pass between Rey and Rose. He narrowed his eyes in suspicion.
"Yep," Rey answered Finn blithely. "It was a rather silly miscommunication on my part. I overreacted, but we're okay now."
"Good, because this mission isn't going to do itself," Finn said, suddenly all business. He leaned over the table. "Where are we at on those costumes, Solo?"
Ben raised a brow at him. "I didn't realize you were helping us with them," he bit back sarcastically.
Rey nudged his knee under the table by way of rebuke.
"They just need a couple last fittings," he amended with a grudging frown. He looked askance at Rey. "I'll need you there for that."
"I'm free all day tomorrow," she offered.
His frown softened slightly. "Good."
She took a bite of her food. "It probably wouldn't hurt us to resume training, either," she said around a mouthful. "It's been a while since we've done that."
He nodded. It was true, they needed the practice, and it might even help with some of his lingering soreness. Moreover, it meant even more time he'd get to spend with her.
Poe, who had been slumped in his seat at the far end of the table, sat up and cleared his throat. "Rey, I need you to look at a few things on the stolen shuttle," he interjected. "You're more familiar with the parts than I am."
"I'll try, but I'm going to be pretty busy finishing my part of the preparations," Rey replied, grimacing apologetically. Her voice was light and easy. "The tech hasn't changed that much since the Empire, though. Rose could look at it with you, or Han or Luke."
With a one-shouldered shrug, Poe dropped back in his seat with bad grace, and the table fell quiet again as everyone ate.
On the walk back to the barracks, Finn walked up ahead with Poe, who was gesturing emphatically with his hands as he spoke. Every once in a while, the angry tone of his words reached Ben, who was walking at a distance behind them. Ben was certain he knew what they were talking about, and wasn't yet sure whether he should be worried or amused, but he couldn't bring himself to care too much. Rey had chosen him. He still wasn't completely sure he believed it.
Rose had pulled Rey back several steps to talk to her; he could hear them whispering behind him. When the men went their separate ways in the barracks, the girls stalled by Rey's door. Unsure of what to do—wait around and resume their previous arrangement, or retreat to his own room—Ben erred on the side of caution and went back to his quarters, not wanting to assume anything and figuring the girls would appreciate a chance to talk. If Rey wanted him, she knew where to find him.
He took a shower, which felt blessedly amazing on his tight, aching muscles, then dressed in soft sleeping clothes. He really had lost weight, he observed, as the clothes hung looser than before. Not all of it had been from a lack of appetite, though; he'd also stopped training. Getting back into a routine with Rey was going to help tremendously.
He was just passing the door on the way to his cot when he heard a light tap, tap, tap sound through the metal.
He opened the door to find Rey standing outside, similarly dressed in sleeping clothes with a blanket wrapped around her body like a shawl. Her hair was loose around her shoulders. "Can I come in?"
He moved aside to admit her. She stepped past him and peered around his room, taking in the stack of books, the bag in the corner, the lumpy cot. He stood by the door, watching her look around.
She perched on the end of the cot and looked up at him. "I'm not really tired after sleeping so long earlier," she said softly.
"Me neither."
"Can we… spend some time together? And just… talk?"
His lips twitched in a small smile. "I'd like that."
She pulled her legs up to sit cross-legged on the foot of the cot, leaving him room at the other end. He sat down and leaned against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him.
And they simply talked.
They talked of the mission, and the training they wanted to accomplish the next day. They talked about the ancient Jedi texts, and Ben's padawan training with Luke. Rey asked him questions about what he was like when he was younger, and he obliged her with tales of the quiet boy and awkward teenager he'd been. They talked about his upbringing on Chandrila, growing up as the son of a princess-turned-senator and a smuggler-turned-war hero. They talked about her upbringing on Jakku, and her life as a scavenger.
She cocked her head as a thought occurred to her. "Ben, if you knew me from your vision, then why didn't you come find me?" she said slowly. "You knew I was on Jakku, right? I'm not upset, I'm just curious."
By this point, he'd laid down on his side with his pillow scrunched under one arm, and she had stretched out on her stomach beside him, her cheek perched on her palm. He still couldn't quite believe how cavalier and comfortable she was in his presence. He'd been careful to lie on the edge of the cot, allowing plenty of space between them, but she'd flopped down and filled the space and continued the conversation without missing a beat.
Ben shook his head. "We weren't sure exactly where you were," he replied in answer to her question. "And I think Luke was afraid if we found you too early, you wouldn't learn the lessons you needed to know in order to survive this war."
She nodded begrudgingly. "That makes sense. I still wish I'd gotten off that Force-forsaken planet earlier, but I see his point. I'm just glad I eventually did get off—and that I found you."
"Believe me, I wanted to find you," he said softly. "But your time on Jakku made you strong. Determined. Unstoppable."
She smiled up at him, but then her lips took on a teasing lilt. "That's right, Solo," she drawled. "I'm a lot to handle. Hope you're ready for this." She waggled her eyebrows at him.
He snorted softly. "Yes, your fortitude and ferocity are quite a lot to handle, you feral little desert dweller." His lips twitched in a small smile. "But your integrity, your kindness, your… your beauty—well, they're a lot to handle, too." His voice dropped to a whisper as his eyes drifted down to the mattress between them. "Your childhood was an exceptionally harsh one, and yet you are not bitter. You are one of the most compassionate people I know, and I… I love you all the more for it."
Her smirk softened into a genuine, warm expression, reaching all the way up to her sparkling hazel eyes. She raised up on her elbows and brushed a light kiss across his lips, surprising him.
"And I love you," she whispered back. "You are a far better man than you give yourself credit for."
He rolled his eyes, trying his best to downplay the flush spreading across his cheeks. "You're delirious," he declared, leaning over to check the time. "And it's no wonder; it's almost three in the morning."
A swift poke jabbed into his stomach, and he flinched. "Hey!"
"Don't think I forgot about you being ticklish," she warned. "And I am not delirious!"
He reached over to shut off the light, grumbling good-naturedly under his breath about the unpredictable attacks of feral desert dwellers, and smiled when Rey giggled at him. Stars, she made him happy.
He laid back on the cot, and she immediately tucked herself under his arm, cuddling up against his side and resting her head in the dip of his shoulder. He pulled her snug against him and leaned his cheek against her forehead, relishing the feel of her, her softness and warmth, the sweet smell of her hair.
He drifted off to the comforting cadence of her steady breathing.
A/N: Starred (*) phrases were borrowed from Star Wars! Crossed (+) phrases were borrowed from the 2006 TV adaptation of Jane Eyre, starring Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens.