Chapter 5 - The Farewell Party
When Rimmer got up the courage to visit the Titanic crew again a few days later he was met at the airlock by Paul.
Paul took one look at him and recognized the type. In the world of Shitsu-Tonka they were over-officious pen-pushers who tried to use what little power they had to lord it over what underlings they had and make their lives a misery, so it seemed bizarre to him that this man had been given the task, beyond the grave no less, of keeping another person sane. Maybe despite appearances he had been someone important on their ship that would merit this role.
"So, what was your job on your ship before… you know?"
Rimmer looked at him suspiciously. "What's Lister been telling you?"
"Nothing, well he told me about the accident, but that's all."
Rimmer thought about lying, thought about telling Paul that he had been a well respected officer but what would be the point? He sighed, "I was Second Technician; my primary job was servicing food dispensers."
Paul just looked more confused, there was nothing for it. "So… why were you chosen to be brought back?" he asked.
Rimmer threw up his hands irritably. "Ask Holly! I don't know! Me and Lister were bunkmates, he was a Third Technician the only person ranked lower than me. Even before the accident all we did was get on each others nerves. He took great delight in tormenting me; it was almost a game for him, making fun of my high regard for discipline, openly flouting JMC rules and generally being downright annoying."
Paul was starting to understand, he recognized some of the signs from his own situation, the only difference was that he knew that the antagonism between him and his friends was really just make-believe and that none of them meant anything by it. That didn't seem to be the case aboard the Red Dwarf. Maybe he could do something to help relations on the other craft.
He began hesitantly, unsure how his theory would come across. "Well, maybe that's why. Maybe Holly understood that Lister needed someone to kick against to motivate him." He chuckled as a thought occurred to him. "Richard loves comic books and he would tell you that every hero needs their villain. It's not that bad a role really, in fact it's just as important as Lister's."
"Lister? The hero?! He's lazy, unambitious, undisciplined…" exploded Rimmer.
"He's living life to his own satisfaction with what he has, isn't that all any of us can hope for? You can't insist he live by your rules."
Rimmer looked like he wanted to marshal arguments against that but he had nothing, he just stood there opening and closing his mouth ineffectually like a landed fish. He should never have come, these new 'friends' of theirs were, between them, tearing apart his entire view of the world. He felt, more than ever, adrift on an endless ocean with no land in sight.
Paul could see that he had perhaps gone too far and softened his expression. "Look, never mind that now, is there anything you enjoy doing, a board game perhaps?"
Rimmer looked wearily at him, half inclined to just make his excuses and leave, but he knew if he returned to the ship now he would just be left to brood on Paul's words; what he really needed was something to distract him. "You wouldn't happen to know how to play Risk would you?"
"Sure I do, we can play in the games room, follow me."
Rimmer's original estimate of months turned out to be actually fairly accurate as the Titanic was a lot bigger than they had given it credit for, however they found it didn't matter much as the crew settled into their new routine which was a lot more interesting than staring at space rocks and playing I-Spy. As the Red Dwarf drifted on its way they spent their days discovering and carefully storing fascinating historical curios and their evenings regaling Flacco with tales of their adventures over dinner, sometimes on their ship, sometimes on his.
And after they had finished shifting artefacts for the day and while Flacco was around anyway the three of them would visit the crew of the Titanic II separately or together. At least once a week Lister would discreetly take guitar lessons with Richard but otherwise he and the other two would happily spend many hours playing games or exchanging stories with the rest of the Titanic crew.
Eventually though all the artefacts were safely gathered in and stowed aboard the Dwarf, a proper engine and navigational system had been assembled and installed to the Titanic II and the newly space-worthy craft had been successfully re-launched into space, tethered to the larger vessel with a tractor beam.
"Well," said Flacco with a smile, shaking the four Dwarfers warmly by the hand, "I'd best be off. Thank you so very much for all you've done for me, for us, but I couldn't possibly intrude on your time any longer. If you could just give me a lift to my ship I'll get out of your hair."
"Aw come on man, we can't just let you leave without some kind of send off," protested Lister; he'd got rather used to having the strange little man around and would be sad to see him go. He thought a minute before inspiration struck. "Hey, why don't we have a farewell party on the other ship? The other three could be involved then and we could make it a last proper blow out."
There were a few murmurs of interest among the group which Lister took to be tacit agreement and, despite a slightly uneasy feeling, Flacco felt he couldn't really refuse. After all it was only fair for Paul, Tim and Richard to get to say goodbye too and maybe a party was just the thing before they had to go back to their old routine.
"Very well, how about tomorrow night say about eight?"
"Tomorrow?" the Cat wailed, "Less than 24 hours to get ready? Impossible!"
"We'll be there," assured Lister.
"I'd still quite like that lift," added Flacco a little apologetically.
"Oh yes, of course. Come with me, we'll take one of the Blue Midgets."
At gone seven Starbug docked with the Titanic and they made their way down to the basement for the last time and once more submitted to Flacco's ministrations before he too put himself under to join them.
The mood was certainly festive as they arrived. Lister, Rimmer, The Cat and Flacco entered the living room to find it festooned with streamers and balloons; it looked like they'd stepped into a kid's birthday party as Paul, Tim and Richard emerged from their rooms wearing colourful paper hats and letting off party poppers. The tables arrayed around the walls were heaving with snacks and nibbles and bowls of punch with bits of fruit floating in them. The three of them pressed glasses into the Dwarfer's hands and poured out generous amounts of champagne, jamming paper hats on their heads. Music was blaring from an old gramophone set up on a table beside a huge jumbled pile of records.
The slight hint of desperation could have been off-putting but Lister was vividly put in mind of the phrase 'once in a lifetime' and couldn't in all honesty fault them for wanting to do it all, especially since the glee with which they did it was contagious and it wasn't long before everyone, even Rimmer, were really getting into the swing of things.
The Cat took it upon himself to teach the Titanic crew how to dance to much laughter from Lister and Rimmer as they wisely stood back and watched from a safe distance having been subjected to his masterclasses before.
Lister surprised everyone with his guitar skills and played along with Richard as Paul and Tim tried to teach the Dwarf crew some of their songs. And after a flash of inspiration from Rich, who managed to quickly produce a little digital Hammond organ from the music room, had Rimmer happily jamming along with the rest of them.
Unseen by the revellers Bob was watching the festivities. He licked his lips. This was his chance to escape this hateful prison. Hail, hail, the gang's all here! The controls on the real ship would be unattended for ages yet. Then he and Tim would be inseparable once more. Oh what fun they were going to have! He snuck away and crept along corridors to the central controls.