Stotch residence
Butters and his group of friends are watching TV.
Butters: Guys, I'm bored.
Pip: (Sighs) Me too, lad.
Dougie: Same. What should we do today?
Damien: We could go to laser tag. I heard that Craig and his group of friends are gonna be there.
Butters: I don't think my mom has enough money to take all six of us. Plus, we don't want Dougie acting all perverted towards the women there.
Dougie: Oh come on! I'm not a pervert!
Allie: Yes you are. I'm a girl and you acted like a pervert towards me a few times.
Dougie: Not my fault you and the rest of the girls are hot.
Damien: Dude, every girl in school hates you because of that reason.
Scott M: Yeah.
Pip: So what now?
Dougie: I was in your basement and I saw a pool table.
Butters: What?
Dougie: Yeah. Did your parents get it a few weeks ago?
Butters: Yeah, but I'm not allowed to play on it without permission.
Damien: Ask your parents.
Butters: What?
Damien: Ask your parents if we can play on that pool table.
Scott M: I'm pretty sure he'll get grounded for asking.
Damien: (Mocking Scott) "I'm pretty sure he'll get grounded for asking. I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got diabetes."
Butters, Pip, Dougie and Allie bursted out laughing, and then Scott punches Damien.
Scott M: Stop making fun of my diabetes!
Damien: Punch me again or you will face the wrath of the hundred fallen angels of hell!
Scott M: Yeah, whatever.
Dougie: It wouldn't hurt to ask.
Butters: Okay. I'll ask them. I mean I've see your mom in a pool, Dougie. Because she's a whale!
Everyone except Dougie bursted out laughing.
Pip: Savage, lad! So savage!
Dougie: (Sighs) Yeah...
Butters: Anyways, I'm gonna go ask my mom.
In the kitchen, Linda was washing the dishes.
Linda S: Ugh. Why does Stephen always have me doing the dishes?!
Butters: Hey, mom.
Linda S: Not right now, Butters. Mommy has dishes to wash.
Butters: I know, but I have something to ask you.
Linda S: What is it?
Butters: Can I play pool with my friends in the basement?
Linda S: You know what? Sure. Go ahead.
Butters: Thanks, mom!
He went back to the living room.
Linda S: I need some weed from Mr. Marsh right now.
Back in the living room...
Dougie: So what did your mom say?
Butters: She said yes!
Pip: Really?
Butters: Yeah! We can play pool now!
Damien: Awesome! Let's go!
In the basement...
Allie: Wow. This is a cool pool table.
Pip: Nice rhyming, sweetie.
Allie: Aw! Thanks, babe.
Dougie: Pip, you are so lucky to land a hottie like her.
Damien: Okay, enough of that shit. Let's play some fucking pool!
Pip: But who's going first?
Butters: I think I should go first because it's my house and my pool table.
Scott M: That's not how this works. We're your guests!
Damien: Yeah! And as the new king of hell, I get to go first!
Dougie: Nope. The short guys go first.
Damien: Ha! You admitted you're short!
Butters and Pip: (Laughing)
Pip: But seriously, as the kid who has a Queen in his hometown, I get to go first.
Scott M: No! Kids with diseases go first! So I should go first.
Allie: Ladies first, boys!
Damien: Well, when the ladies get here, they'll go first.
Pip: Damien, don't talk like that to my girlfriend!
Damien: Fuck off, Pip!
Dougie: Guys, wait. Instead of fighting over who gets to go first, we should draw straws. And whoever has the 2 longest straws get to go first.
Allie: Good idea.
The 5 boys and 1 girl drew straws and Dougie and Allie got the biggest straws.
Dougie: Fuck yeah! I get to go first!
Allie: Me too!
Butters: That's not fair! We should draw them again!
Dougie: Nope! I get to go first because I'm the best.
Damien: Ugh. Fine.
Dougie: Also, to make things interesting, we should play a type of pool where if you don't get a shot, you take off a piece of clothing and Allie, I hope you miss all of your shots so I can see and grab your super hot titties.
Allie: What?! No! We're not playing that type of pool! You just want to see me naked and that's not happening! And also, I don't even have tits, so keep your creepy hands to yourself!
Pip: Yeah, Dougie! Stop being such a fucking pervert towards my girlfriend!
Dougie: Come on. One game of strip pool? Please?
Allie: NO! We are not playing strip pool and that's final! We're playing regular pool! Besides, we're not supposed to play that type of pool because we're not old enough!
Butters: Yeah, Dougie. I'm not getting grounded because of your perverted personality!
Dougie: Ugh. Lame. I wanted to show off my sexy bod, but you guys won't let me. Party poopers.
Allie: Just hit the damn white ball so we can start the fucking game!
Dougie: Okay, fine! (He starts to adjust his pool stick so when the white ball starts breaking the other balls from each other.) Adjust the width of the white ball...
Scott M: Oh my god! Is he doing math in his head again?!
Damien: Hit the ball!
Dougie: I don't want to fuck up my calculations! And when I find the right angle, I'll hit the ball. Don't rush me!
Pip: We're never gonna get this game started.
Butters: Look, I'm sure he'll hit it.
3 Hours Later...
Scott M: You have got to be kidding me! We've been waiting for 3 hours and he still hasn't shot the ball yet!
Dougie: I don't want to rush a perfect break. Be patient!
Damien: It's impossible to get a perfect break! Not even pro pool players have gotten a perfect break!
Dougie: Watch me! (After a bit of silence...) Perfect.
Dougie hits the white ball with his stick and every single ball went into the pocket, which the 8 ball was the last one to enter the pocket.
Damien: No fucking way!
Dougie approached Allie.
Dougie: I win.
Allie: How?! How is this possible?! There is no way this is happening right now! I just lost to a loser!
Dougie: Well, I did the math in my head. And I calculated the trajectory of when all of the ball would hit the pockets from when the ball broke them all apart. And that's how I got a perfect break.
Damien: You did got that shit from an SML video, didn't you?
Dougie: No. I just...
Damien: You've been watching that video when Jeffy has be getting perfect breaks in pool!
Dougie: He didn't get the one at the end.
Note to readers: Sorry for spoiling that video to those who haven't seen it.
Damien: But still!
Dougie: Okay. As the winner, I get to chose who goes next. And I say, Butters and Pip should have a turn.
Butters: Thanks, Dougie!
Pip: Yeah! Thanks, lad!
Multiple games later...
Butters is up against Damien.
Damien: You're getting better every game.
Butters: I know.
Dougie: After you're done, it's my turn.
Butters: I know, Dougie.
Butters hits the white ball and it hits the 6 ball, which goes in the pocket.
Damien: Nice shot!
Butters: Thanks. Looks like I have an extra turn for this!
The door is knocking.
Pip: Someone's knocking on the front door.
Butters: Okay.
He opens the door and it was Cartman and Tricia. Cartman is holding a pack of Tegridy Weed.
Butters: Hey, Eric!
Cartman: Sup, Butters. I'm here to deliver this. Give it to your mom.
Butters: Okay. But wait. Why is Craig's sister with you?
Cartman: Oh, she's just here to stay with you.
Tricia: Wait, what?!
Cartman shoves Tricia into the house and closes the door.
Cartman: She's your problem now, Butters!
Butters: Eric, don't leave me with her!
Tricia: Why?! What's wrong with me?!
Butters: Nothing. Let's just give this to my mom and then you can watch me play pool with my friends in the basement.
Tricia: Sure beats hanging around in a farm with those 4 dickheads.
Butters and Tricia entered the kitchen with the weed.
Butters: Tricia, you should probably wait outside the kitchen because my mom will lose it if she sees you.
Tricia: Whatever.
She exited the kitchen and Butters gave the weed to his mom.
Butters: Hey, Mom. Here's the weed you ordered. Eric delivered it.
Linda S: Thanks, Butters.
Butters: You're welcome.
He exited the kitchen and went towards the basement.
Tricia: Mind if I come?
Butters: Sure.
Back in the basement...
Butters: Hey, fellas! I have an unexpected guest.
Tricia: Sup, dorks.
Dougie: What's this bitch doing here?
Tricia punches Dougie.
Tricia: I ain't no bitch, ginger dork!
Damien: Your hair is orange also.
Tricia: So what are you all doing?
Pip: Playing pool.
Tricia: Cool. I've got next game.
Pip: But I'm up against Dougie next. (Tricia kicks Pip in the balls.) OW!
Tricia: I'm up against ginger dork next, Frenchie!
Pip: I'm not French, I'm fucking British, you little bitch!
Tricia: Don't call me a bitch!
She kicks Pip in the left kneecap.
Pip: Ow!
Allie: Oh my god! Pip, are you okay?!
Pip: Yeah, I'm fine. Ow...
While Allie was comforting Pip, Tricia took the stick from Pip and approached Dougie.
Tricia: Our turn!
Dougie: But Butters and Damien aren't done yet.
Tricia: I DON'T CARE!
Butters: Please stop yelling. You're gonna get me in trouble.
Tricia: Puh-lease. I don't give two shits about any of you dickheads, especially the whore in the purple sweater.
Pip: Don't call my girlfriend a whore!
Tricia: Shut up, Pip!
Butters: Don't tell my best friend to shut up!
Damien: How the fuck did she get here?!
Butters: She was with Eric and he left her here.
Allie: What?!
Pip: Why am I not surprised? That fat fuck is always finding ways to fuck us over!
Damien: I know! Just as we were having a good time! Anyways, let's finish our game.
Tricia: Well, I'm here and I say move over because it's my turn!
Damien: We're not done playing! You need to wait your turn!
Tricia: Fuck off, you satantic sloth!
Damien: What did you just call me?!
Damien was about to go crazy on Tricia, but Pip stopped him.
Pip: Damien, please don't get angry. Remember what your therapist said.
Damien: She called me a sloth! Let me at her so I can burn her to death!
Dougie: Damien, I hate the bitch too, but you don't have to do this to her.
Pip: Yeah. You should do it to someone more deserving, like Cartman.
Damien: Fine. I forfeit this game due to this mini whore interrupting us. Butters, you win by default.
Butters: This is not how I wanted to win a pool game.
Tricia: Game on, dorks!
(Play "Good as Hell" by Lizzo for this montage section)
Tricia has been challenging Allie and the 5 Melvins to pool games. First, she was up against Dougie. She broke the balls apart from each other, Dougie has been calculating the angle of the balls, but Tricia rushes him, causing him to miss every time. Tricia got all of her balls in first and won. Scott was next. He broke the balls apart, but he failed to get all of them in the pockets. Tricia once again got all of her balls into the pockets and won. Damien was next. He broke the balls apart from each other. Tricia once again got all of balls in the pockets. After she failed to get the 8 ball in, Damien hits the white ball at his last remaining ball, and then used his powers to lead the white ball to the 8 ball. However, Dougie pointed out that Damien was cheating and disqualified him, giving Tricia another victory. Damien was about to rage, but Pip calmed him down before that happened. Butters was next. However, Tricia broke first, but got all of the balls in the pockets and won instantly. Pip was next. He broke the balls apart. He was close to winning until Tricia knocked her final remaining ball and the 8 ball into the pocket and won. Allie was last. Tricia broke the balls first and just like with Butters, she got all of the balls into the pockets and won instantly.
Tricia: Ha! I won again!
5 Minutes Later...
Damien: We are literally losing to her!
Pip: I know! Is it just me or did Craig teach her how to play pool?
Butters: Well, we have someone who can beat her.
They all looked at Dougie.
Dougie: Who, me?
Scott: Yeah. You're great at calculating stuff in your head, and that got you the win against Allie earlier.
Allie: Don't remind me.
Dougie: Well, I am great at calculating stuff in my head. So yeah, let's go this!
Tricia and Dougie grabbed their pool sticks and Dougie was set to break. He did his math in his head and scored a perfect break, which ends Tricia's winning streak.
Tricia: WHAT?!
Butters: Ha! Dougie won!
Dougie: Looks like your winning streak is over!
Tricia: No fair! I want a rematch!
Scott M: Oh please! You don't deserve a rematch!
Tricia: (Mocking Scott) "Oh please! You don't deserve a rematch! I'm Scott Malkinson. I've got diabetes."
Everybody bursted out laughing.
Scott M: Oh come on!
Dougie: But seriously, get the fuck out.
Tricia: No! I am getting my rematch and nothing is gonna stop me!
The door is knocking.
Pip: You were saying?
Tricia: AAUGH!
Linda answered the door and it was Cartman.
Linda S: Hello, Eric.
Cartman: Hey, Ms. Stotch. Where's Butters?
Linda S: In the basement playing pool with his friends.
Cartman: Okay. Can I come in?
Linda S: Sure.
Cartman enters the house and heads to the basement, and sees Tricia.
Cartman: Thank god you're safe. Thanks for watching her, Butters.
Butters: Don't mention it.
Cartman: Yeah, and don't mention any of this to Craig or he will kill me, Stan, Kyle and Kenny.
Butters: Alrighty then.
Cartman noticed Pip, Dougie, Damien, Scott and Allie giving him angry glares. He then gave the five of them introduction names.
Cartman: Frenchie. Ginger Dork. Powerful Freak. Diabetic Loser. Whore.
He then left with Tricia.
Pip: God I fucking hate him.
Dougie: Me too.
Damien and Scott M: Same.
Allie: Yeah. I can't stand him one bit. Anyway, back to pool!
Butters: Okay!
30 Minutes later...
The 8 ball entered the pocket and it was shown that Scott won against Allie.
Allie: Good game, Scott.
Scott M: Thanks, Allie.
Damien: I know how we should make this more exciting. It's time for a pool game to the death!
He then used his powers, which created a huge fiery aura, which was spreading outside.
Allie: Damien, what are you doing?!
Damien: Making the game more exciting and fun!
Dougie: This is really dangerous!
Pip: Yeah!
Damien: Oh relax! Nobody outside is gonna notice.
Outside...
The car belonging to Craig's parents was driving closer to it.
Jimmy: If I-I had to guess, that was- that was Damien's doing.
Craig: Yeah. By the way, wanna spend the night?
Tweek: Sure!
Craig: Mom, Dad, can they spend the night?
Laura: Sure thing.
Clyde: Awesome!
They all hi-fived and Don't You Forget About Me Plays for a short period.
The aura is still surrounding Butters' house.
Butters: Damien, this is not how we play pool!
Damien: I don't fucking care! This is how we play pool in hell!
Pip: Damien, maybe we shouldn't play pool your way. It's too dangerous and someone could get killed!
Damien: But it's more exciting!
Scott M: Not for us!
Allie: Look, Damien. Let's just keep playing pool the correct way.
Damien: Ugh. Fine. (He uses his powers to set everything back to normal.) Sorry I went too far.
Pip: It's okay. Let's just finishing playing pool.
Dougie: Yeah. And also, I think we should play pool how I want to play it and...
All (Except Dougie): WE ARE NOT PLAYING STRIP POOL!!!
Dougie: Fine! Party poopers.
Pip: Let's just play with no more interruptions.
Stephen: Butters, what is going on here?!
Butters: Hey, Dad. We're just playing pool.
Stephen: What?! Who said you can play pool?!
Butters: Mom did. I asked her and she said yes!
Stephen: What?! Linda, get down here!
Linda S: Yes, Stephen?
Stephen: Did you give Butters permission to play pool?!
Linda S: Yes. He asked if he can play.
Stephen: Well guess what?! He wasn't allowed to play pool without my permission! And you mister are grounded for a week for playing pool without my permission! You're only allowed to have my permission for things, not your mother's or anyone else's! You five go home right now!
Pip: But I don't have a home!
Stephen: Well, go find a cardboard box to sleep in! And Butters, go to your room right now! (Butters went to his room and all of his friends left the house.) And Linda, you're grounded for giving Butters permission to play pool when he's only supposed to have my permission! Go to our room right now!
Linda S: Stephen, you can't ground me! I'm your wife!
Stephen: I DON'T FUCKING CARE! I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE AND IF I SAY YOU'RE GROUNDED, THAT MEANS YOU ARE GROUNDED! AND I HAVE THE POWER TO GROUND EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THE FUCKING PLANET! NOW GO TO OUR ROOM RIGHT NOW OR YOU'LL BE CLEANING THE WHOLE HOUSE WITH A BAR OF SOUP FOR A WHOLE MONTH!
Linda S: Yes, honey.
Butters was upset that he once again got grounded. However, he heard a tap on his bedroom window and it was all 5 of his friends.
Butters: Guys, what are you doing here?
Damien: We just came here to say that we had a fun time playing pool with you.
Scott M: Yeah. It was awesome.
Pip: Sucks you got grounded.
Dougie: Yeah. We really wanted to play longer. It was really fun while it lasted.
Allie: Yeah.
Butters: Well next time, I'll ask my dad if we can play and we can have fun as long as we want.
Damien: Yeah!
Dougie: And hopefully, we can play pool the way I want to play it.
They all gave Dougie angry glares and Damien pushed him aside.
Damien: We'll see you tomorrow, Butters.
Butters: Bye. (They all got down from the lower roof and headed to their respective homes) I had a lot of fun today. (His phone vibrated and it was a text message from Nelly.) Nelly? Why did she send me a text? She hates me. Oh well, I might as well check it out. (He read the text.) "Hey freak. Since I admitted to killing you at the laser tag facility earlier today, I got banned and grounded for life, and now, I have to work as a janitor as an after school job as a punishment because of you. Even when you're nowhere near my sight, you always find ways to ruin my life. I mentioned you as the person I want to kill and I got punished for it. I hope you don't go to sleep because one of these days, I'm going to fucking kill you and you will be out of my life. I'm... fucking... dead... serious... about... that! 20 red angry emojis." (Butters was now fearing for his life as the girl who hated him ever since the whole list incident and the whole gender war at his school wants to kill him.) Mom, Dad, Nelly threatened to kill me through text message!
Stephen: Butters, nobody's threatening to kill you! Now turn off your phone or you'll be double grounded!
Butters: Aw hamburgers!
That's all for the trilogy.