"You're going shopping with my mom?" Henry asks Jama with a grin.
"Your mom slays," he replies, "literally and figuratively."
Henry laughs and Zelena enters the kitchen with a pop and a swirl of green smoke.
"MINNIE THE MINX!" She shouts, "WHERE ARE YOU?"
Henry almost panics until he sees the tiny arms wrapped around Zelena's neck. She spins around and Minnie's legs swing out and she giggles.
"Oh my god, I can't find her anywhere. Must have run off to join the circus." Zelena says and sits in a dining chair, playfully crushing Minnie behind her. Minnie's shrieks and giggles are muffled by Zelena's clothes.
Regina follows in a swathe of purple, still putting her earrings in, dressed in what she considers one of her best outfits. Just because she feels like crap doesn't mean she has to look it. Jama looks at Henry and snaps his fingers.
"Zelena is Minnie dressed?"
"You know, I've not the slightest idea where she's gone." She says as a tiny leg kicks out from behind her and Minnie giggles again. "I'm sure she was dressed though, when she ran off. I think she's joined the circus to be a strongman," Minnie gurgles, "or a lion tamer, maybe a bearded lady." Regina laughs and looks at Henry and Jama.
"It's true, mom."
"She's gone." Jama shrugs.
Regina checks her phone. Emma read her message this morning. At least she knows she's alive. The doorbell rings and she rushes to answer it.
"Archie." She tries not to look as disappointed as she feels.
"Madam Mayor, good morning."
"Come in, there's coffee, orange juice, every breakfast food you can imagine."
He laughs. "Sounds great."
As Regina closes the door she notices Henry looking behind Archie as if expecting someone else.
"Morning Henry." He says.
"Morning Archie, did..?"
Archie shakes his head. Henry nods and follows him into the kitchen. Regina stands in the hallway resisting the urge to open the door again and look. She satisfies herself with a peek out of the window before heading into the kitchen. Henry is texting again.
"Ellie, will you ask the others to come downstairs?" Regina says and turns to follow Archie.
"ARCHIE'S HERE, COME DOWN!" Ellie bellows before turning to skip after Regina who's jumped half a foot in the air.
"Shan, not again!"
Shan slides down the banister, springing off at the end and landing on their feet.
"Don't worry, I'm fine." They say with all the confidence of a robust seven year old.
"I mean it." Regina says, giving them the sternest face she can muster before following them into the kitchen.
Seven kids and three adults make the kitchen pretty crowded. Regina doesn't think it's ever been crowded before. Certainly she has felt crowded when it has just been her and Snow, but right now it's crammed with people and that's never happened in her home before. Still, though it's busy, it's incomplete.
"Why don't we move to the living room?" Archie asks once he has coffee.
They sit around him and Regina thinks again that she doesn't have enough furniture for all of the people. The kids sit on the floor without a second thought and she is leapt upon by Minnie as soon as she sits down. She conjures a couple of bean bags from upstairs, which are also immediately leapt upon.
Archie wants to talk to the kids about what's been happening, how they are and what the plan is. It's good for them. They ask questions that Archie mostly answers. Zelena makes jokes and makes them laugh. Regina gives supportive "rightly so" comments when she feels it necessary.
When Archie is satisfied that the kids have all the answers they need, that they are happy, and that Zelena has only been joking about turning Ellie's entire head into a megaphone, everybody starts to pile out and get ready for their Saturday activities.
Regina checks the kitchen for people and sees Henry pouring coffee into a flask.
"Since when do you drink coffee?" She asks.
His face is so guilty she knows who it is for immediately. He doesn't speak, just puts the flask in his backpack with a tupperware full of breakfast food, and an apple.
"I don't want you wandering around in the cold." She says.
"I know where I'm going." He says, walking up to her. She thinks he's waiting to see if she stops him but she doesn't. She opens her mouth to speak but he interrupts her. "I'm not telling you." He says and she closes her mouth again with a look of hurt. For a moment they just stand there. She's desperate to go with him either so she can shout at Emma or something else.
"It's just…" She starts and he looks like he's not buying whatever her excuse is. "That flask is enchanted. So. Be careful with it."
"Huh." Henry says. "That's why it's so good." Regina shrugs. "Is there anything in our house that isn't run by magic?"
She thinks for a moment but she only ends up thinking of Emma. Henry kisses her cheek as he passes her to leave.
"I'll text you."
"Well this is predictable." Henry says, setting his bag down beside Emma at the rebuilt 'castle'.
"Hey." Emma replies, looking his way but not making eye contact.
"I brought you some breakfast." He says
"I don't really feel like eating. Thanks though." She says with a smile that quickly fades.
"So did you learn what you wanted to learn?"
She thinks about telling him she never wanted to learn any of it, but that's not exactly fair.
"I got what I needed, I guess." Henry opens the tupperware and starts on one of Regina's pastries. "I know factual information but it feels like I wasn't there. It's all second hand, I can't judge for myself what happened, and no one can really give an objective view because different things matter to different people." Henry watches her, munching away and waiting for her to continue. "I don't have any more control than I did before."
"Well yeah." Henry says with a mouthful. "You can't control the past, you only get to decide what comes after it."
Emma smiles at him. He's a writer alright. She sighs and looks out at the sea."How's everyone doing at the madhouse?"
"It's ok. Zelena's having a great time. Everyone seems pretty good."
He waits and she knows that if she wants to know how Regina is doing she's going to have to ask specifically or see her in person. She doesn't think she can do either.
"That's good."
"Are you coming tonight?"
"Why would I come tonight? I thought they were getting ready to go home?" Henry shrugs and she wonders what developments she's missed out on while she's taken some time for herself. For a sleepy town in the middle of nowhere, a lot sure happens in a couple of hours. Surely Archie would have told her about any new developments. Or Regina. But she can't talk to Regina now, not after what she said. "You bring any coffee?"
He pours her some and it fills her up with far more than warmth. She hums and lets the first-sip feeling envelop her. It feels like reassurance in a cup.
"Wow, who made the coffee this morning?"
"Mom."
"Did she put something in it? It tastes amazing."
"Uh." Henry smiles and shrugs again.
She thinks it's like cinnamon but not quite. It's warming and there's spice. Maybe something fragrant and a pinch of chilli. It's something anyway, and she savours each sip. She feels it all the way down to her toes. They sit and look at the sea together. She thinks Henry might press her for what her next plan is or what she's going to do about things with Regina, but he doesn't and she's grateful. After a while she even relaxes enough to help herself to some breakfast. It's only when she starts eating that she realises her last meal was around 24 hours ago. She eats all of it, apple turnovers, muffins, some spicy, savoury egg thing, the apple and the rest of the coffee.
"Where are you staying tonight?" Henry asks, but she knows it's not nagging, it's genuine concern.
"I might check in with uh…" she goes back and forth with 'mom and dad' and 'Mary Margaret and David' and she's less comfortable than ever with them now her shield of ignorance is gone. "At the loft. See if my bed is free yet."
"Ok. You know you're always welcome with me and mom. You don't even have to call first."
"Does anyone call first?" Emma asks, as multiple instances of Snow just showing up and Regina's eternal chagrin come to mind.
"Not really, but you're the only one she doesn't get mad at for it." He grins and she can't help smile back.
She wonders if she can go back. Regina would help her figure it out, but what right does she have to go to Regina again? Help again. Fix this again. Everyone calls Emma the saviour but it's so stupid. Regina is the saviour of Storybrooke, anyone who can't see that is kidding themselves.
She bites the inside of her lip and tries to play out scenarios in her mind that involve her going around. Regina could be mad, or upset, or cold. She has the right to be all of them. She would still help but at what cost to herself? She imagines Regina opening the door and being happy to see her. Looking at her like she wants to give her a hug but won't, which is almost as good. She imagines her singing goodnight to Minnie in Spanish, pouring them drinks when everyone is in bed, talking in hushed voices about what happened, what it means, how to get back to normal. She imagines glancing at the clock at 2am, guilty smiles, quiet goodnights in the hallway, and the ache in her chest watching Regina climb the stairs to bed.
She stands up quickly and draws a sharp breath.
"You ok?" Henry asks, startled.
"Yep. Just gotta head off and check out what's happening at the loft, make some other arrangements if they still have people staying."
"It's not fair they gave your bed away." Henry says
"I can take care of myself." Emma says and reaches up to ruffle his hair. She never used to have to reach up.
"You shouldn't have to, they should be your parents first before they're at the service of the town." It's Regina talking with Henry's voice. She smiles to show she appreciates it. "Me and Jama have been taking turns in the camp bed, it's fun." He says as they walk across the parking lot.
"And who should I be taking turns with?" Emma asks out of interest. Henry looks at her like she has 3 heads. "What?" she stops walking.
"Ma, I love you, but you're an idiot." He turns and carries on walking. "You should come by." He shouts over his shoulder as she stands by her car and watches him.
"You need a lift?" She shouts back. He shakes his head and waves.
Regina jumps when the front door slams closed. She absolutely was not asleep, merely resting.
"You were gone a long time." She says with a slightly croaky voice, which she clears discreetly.
"How was your day?" He asks and drops into the sofa next to her. "The house is quiet."
"Everyone just left, Jama said he would text you. Marissa isn't quite well enough to leave the hospital tonight, so a few people are taking the kids out for pizza and a movie. Archie, Zelena, Snow...some of the families too, I suppose they all miss being neighbours." She rubs her forehead gently to relieve some pressure. It doesn't really work.
"Oh yeah." Henry checks his phone. "I think I'd rather stay home."
Regina smiles at him and lets her head rest back on the sofa cushions. She won't ask him, she just hopes he's going to tell her.
"The coffee was fine."
"It was? That's a surprise."
"Yeah, she loved it, she thought there was something special about it this time." Regina can't help her smile. It's magic, she knows it is, it's her magic. "God, you guys are both so stupid." Henry says, getting up again.
"Excuse me? Have you forgotten which mother you're speaking to?" He looks deflated and she backs off. "Why don't you change, I'll make us some food and we can talk?"
It's just leftovers, but somehow it tastes even better than it did the night before. She waits until he's almost done to ask the real questions.
"How have you found all of this?"
"It's been fun, having other kids around, but I won't mind it when they go home. Will they get to go home?"
"There's a meeting on Monday, providing Marissa is well enough to attend. I can rebuild, Zelena will help...it would just be so much easier with Emma as well."
"That's it!" Henry says with more energy than she has left in her. "We need Emma to help rebuild, she needs to feel like a good person again, you guys need an excuse to talk-"
"-what?!-"
"-and she probably doesn't have anywhere to stay tonight."
"Earlier Snow said it wasn't a problem." Regina frowns.
"Well, it isn't for her, is it?" Henry says with a little bit of Jama's snap that must be rubbing off on him. Regina feels like she should scold him for speaking about his grandmother that way, but instead she gets up from her chair and pulls him into a hug. He stays seated (there's still pastelon on the table, he's not done). She kisses the top of his head and starts to clear the table.
"Are you going to call her?"
"No."
"Mom! She doesn't have anywhere to stay!"
"Henry, I know you want the best for her, the best for both of us, but sometimes these things can't be forced." She sits back down at the table and waits for his questions.
"When Emma was...when she...and you...I thought one of you was going to die." Henry says, turning his napkin over in his hands. Tears spring to her eyes immediately at the thought of him being scared to lose one of them. "When it was us versus The Dark Ones we all knew it was going to come down to Emma. When Grandma got hurt and you were ready to tear Nimue to shreds, everything seemed to stop and then it all made sense." She waits for the thing that makes sense because right now, none of it seems to. "It was always going to come down to you and Emma. It always will, mom."
She thinks for a moment. It does always seem to be that way. Her whole world revolves around Henry, it makes sense that Emma's does too, that's probably why it comes down to them, because someone always seems to be after one of them. But she remembers that light that turned the air as thick as water. She remembers her hand in Emma's chest, around her heart, willing her to come back to them. She remembers Emma's hand on her wrist, holding her there. She remembers the way Emma described it in her office, when their magic started to flow between them and Regina was more Emma than she was herself. At the time she couldn't grasp Emma's words but after thinking about them all night, she thinks they're right. She knows that magic like that only happens for her when she is in love, and she can't keep kidding herself that she's not in love with Emma. But Emma knows what happened between them, and she ran away. She knows Emma doesn't love her back now but she still can't let her sleep in her car tonight.
She remembers the feeling, like nothing she has felt before. She remembers screaming, but it wasn't theirs. She remembers her other arm around Emma's waist as their foreheads pressed together and her magic searching every inch of Emma's body to scour the darkness away. And then she remembers silence, cold, being pulled away from Emma, being in hospital and Henry's hand in hers.
Henry sits with her while she thinks about how to get Emma to come by without freaking her about her feelings. Emma is disgusted by her magic now after all, why wouldn't she be disgusted by her feelings as well? But then she did drink the coffee...
"What if I text her?" Henry asks
She takes a breath and comes back to the real world, chin resting in her palm. "What would you say?"
"Something like 'Mom needs to talk to you tonight'." Regina cringes. "Or 'can you come over tonight?' Or 'moms too scared to ask you to come over herself'."
The doorbell saves him from a verbal smack around the head. She crosses the hallway mumbling to herself that she's not scared of anything. She opens the door, ready to be overrun by children again, but it's not them.
"Hey."
"Hey." Regina says after a second to close her mouth and rally. She's not scared of anything, she reminds herself again, especially not Emma Swan.
"...can I come in?"
"Yes! Of course."
Emma stands in the hallway with her. She looks even less happy than when she hadn't known anything. So that's settled, she knows what happened between them now, and she doesn't feel the same way Regina does about it.
"I saw Archie last night. He filled me in on a few things." Regina nods and clasps her hands in front of her. "He said all they know about what happened between us is that we made some really bright light and no one could see us, and then when it stopped we were lying on the ground. Together."
Clamped around each other, Regina thinks, like yin and yang that make no sense apart. She nods confirmation.
"So, I still don't know if what I dream about is real. Was real."
Regina's heart aches. "And you want some answers."
Emma nods after a moment.
"Hey moms, I'm going to bed." Henry appears and disappears again just as suddenly. He masks his smugness well but his eyes linger on Regina's just a split second long enough to get his point across.
"Do you want a drink?" Regina asks, hoping she does, she could use some Dutch courage.
"Do you have any rooibos tea? I had some at Archie's, I think it helped me sleep."
"Sure." Regina smiles thinking longingly about the whiskey in her study which is older than Henry.
"I'm glad you came." Regina says. "I need to tell you something." Emma, despite leaning back on the kitchen counter, stiffens. "The coffee Henry took for you this morning, he didn't know but the flask was enchanted. I thought you should know since you've been so clear about your feelings about magic."
Emma frowns. "I couldn't tell. It was delicious."
Regina's stomach flutters and she ignores it. Delicious is a word she'll think about later, when she doesn't have to be ashamed about the way it makes her feel.
"It was the same as always, only Henry chose that flask, imbued with my magic to make it actually work. Can't find a decent one anywhere." She says with a throwaway smile, trying to lighten the mood a little.
Emma continues to frown at her so she washes the few dishes from her dinner with Henry so she has something to do with her hands. Emma picks up a towel to dry them, and puts it down again. Regina keeps washing until everything is done, avoiding looking at Emma because she can't quite read her. She almost jumps when she feels Emma's magic. She turns to see that the dishes she has just washed are gone. Emma swallows and lowers her hand.
"How do you feel?" Regina asks quietly. She looks a little shaken.
"I'm ok." She says and looks away. Regina continues watching. "Tea?"
They sit in the study and Emma avoids her eyes.
"So your dreams. Do you want to tell me what you dream and I'll tell you if it's real?" Emma looks like a deer in headlights. That's a no then. "Or do you want to see if you can handle any more magic?"
Emma looks a little less worried about that, but not much. Regina puts her cup down and holds her palm out. "Do you want to put your tea down just in case?" she asks. Emma does as she's told and sits with a knee up on the sofa, facing Regina.
Regina closes her eyes. She could summon something. She has flowers upstairs so she takes one and it appears in her hand. She passes it to Emma who takes it slowly. A white tulip. Emma turns it, admiring the petals which start to turn purple under her gaze, leaving the bright colour with white striations down them. Regina smiles. "And?"
"It's ok." Emma says, passing the flower back to her. Their fingers brush and it feels warm and good. For a moment Regina's perception of the world shrinks to their hands. Emma could have chosen to hold the flower so that they don't touch, couldn't she? What does it mean that she didn't? Emma's hand withdraws and she sends the flower back to her vase upstairs, the purple one in the centre.
She tries something else, an orb of magical energy. It floats over her palm, purple and gold, turning lazily, shimmering in the low lamp light. Emma watches it for a moment before placing her own hand above it. A white and gold ring appears around it like the rings of Saturn, spinning and not touching. Regina feels the weight of it in her chest first, then her whole body. Their magic, close, but not touching. Before she realises what's happening, Emma's hand presses down. She feels the pressure on the orb. She could let go of it, let it disappear. She could relinquish control of it to Emma. The orb becomes more of an oval while she deliberates. She has never played with magic like this with anyone else. She wonders what would happen if she opens control to Emma without completely letting it go. Before she can make a decision Emma's circling ring opens to engulf the orb. Regina gasps and feels the loss of her connection. The orb is now encased in white and gold that looks as solid as enamel, and as soft as a wisp of smoke. She watches it spin and grow smaller and Emma's palm get closer and closer to her own. The orb is obscured completely by Emma's hand. She can feel the warmth of her skin before they touch. It gets warmer and warmer until she realises beneath Emma's hand is glowing. She glances up at Emma. She seems closer than before and gives her an almost imperceptible nod. Regina opens her magic again and before she knows what she's doing Emma's magic surges into her. Everything disappears as she closes her eyes hard but all she can see is brightness. It disappears in a moment and she can feel that she has moved. Her other hand loosens its grip on the sofa cushions beneath her. Her eyes open to an upside down study and she realises her head is back. She looks up quickly and sees Emma with her hand clamped over her mouth, eyes wide. She thinks she might have made a noise. Now that she thinks, she's pretty sure something guttural and unabashed came out of her mouth.
She feels as frozen as Emma looks. Her heart feels like it's beating too fast and suddenly the house erupts in noise again as six children and her sister burst into the hallway.
"Uh, uh." Emma says, looking behind herself to check that the study door is closed. "I'm sorry!" She whispers urgently. Before Regina can say anything Emma releases her grip on Regina's hand and disappears in a cloud of white smoke.
Regina lets the tension out of her body and collapses back on the sofa. Remnants of Emma's magic still tingle in her body and she tries to hold onto them at the tips of her fingers, up her spine, other places.
"Regina?" Zelena opens the door and sees her curled up on the sofa. Regina doesn't move and feels Zelena sit by her feet. "Are you alright?" She asks with a tone that makes it clear she doesn't care either way.
Regina nods, not sure she wants to use her voice again after what just happened. She knows Zelena can sense the print of Emma's magic. Zelena pats her hip and gets up again. A moment later something else gets up on the sofa. Minnie climbs into the space her arms had been occupying and aligns her face with Regina's. Regina just watches. Minnie stares frankly back and touches Regina's nose with hers. Her nose is so small, her cheeks so round, her skin so soft. She has so much power and potential, she has no idea. Regina smiles and tears spill out of her eyes. She wraps her arms around the little girl and lets her heart ache.