Chapter 2: (Self harm)
A few years had passed since his encounter with that random ANBU. It had been his first and only real interaction with anyone in a long time. Naruto didn't know why he dumped his feelings on the masked man, not that it mattered, nothing had changed. Naruto was attending school at the academy but was held back year after year, his head and heart weren't in it. He was just going through the motions, biding his time. His classmates all looked at him the same way the villagers did. Such loathing and disdain, they don't even know who the fuck I am, why do they look at me like that? The villagers no longer handed him beatings, Naruto was now big enough and strong enough to defend himself, but their scorn for him only seemed to grow. Trying to make himself invisible, he made his way to his apartment, slamming the door behind him when he arrived. He locked the door and made his way to the kitchen, putting a kettle of water on the stove to make himself some ramen. His eyes caught the glint of the sharp blade he had left on the counter the previous night. Not now, later, he thought to himself. The whistling of the kettle brought him out of his thoughts. He quickly prepared his dinner. It was the night before his seventeenth birthday, not that it mattered, no one seemed to know or care. He had no one to share it with, but it was still significant to him. He had devised a plan. The age of a legal adult in Konoha was seventeen, tomorrow he would pack up and leave this damn village. Leave all these awful people behind and start a new life. Where was he going to go? He had no idea but he was determined to start anew. He couldn't keep living like this.
Cleaning up his dishes from dinner, his eyes once again caught the blade sitting on the counter top. He sighed, grabbing it and making his way toward the bathroom. It was becoming an almost nightlight ritual, the first time had been such a mess but he was learning. It was getting easier, easier to clean up, easier to find the release he needed. He placed the knife on the counter in the bathroom, quickly removing all his clothing and grabbing a face towel out of the cupboard. Recollecting the knife, he stepped into his shower stall and took a seat on the small bench within. He surveyed his left arm and settled on a spot. Drawing in a deep breath, he placed the blade against his skin. He closed his eyes and pressed down, dragging the blade across his forearm. The pain hit him almost immediately, pulling a foggy blanket over his brain. It was bliss, all his painful thoughts were momentarily halted, all that was left was the physical pain. He allowed his head to fall back against the slower wall, blood dripping from his arm and down the drain. The bliss was short lived though, it always was. After a few minutes of euphoria he quickly rinsed himself and the shower of any evidence. He took the washcloth he brought in with him and dampened it, pressing it tightly to his arm for a few minutes to stop the worst of the bleeding. When the bleeding had slowed, he discarded the bloody washcloth next to the knife in the shower basin, with a mental note to retrieve and clean them later. Hopping out of the shower, he made short work of bandaging up his arm. Dressing in his nightwear he made his way to bed, looking forward to waking up for the first time in a long time.
Morning seemed to arrive almost instantly, he wasn't sure if he had even slept at all. He collected some of his meager belongings in a rucksack, a couple changes of clothes, ramen and other quick foods, a medical kit and some kunai. Deeming himself ready it was all just a waiting game now. He doubted very much he would be allowed to just leave the village, although no one seemed to give a shit about him, he knew it wouldn't be that easy. He was well aware that he was the vessel for the nine tails, although it seemed to be some big fucking secret that everyone knew but never talked about. He had had plenty of conversations with the Kyuubi the last couple years, the fox was at first resentful but over time they started having a pretty decent relationship built on common ground. Naruto was well aware he was viewed as a weapon by the higher ups in the village, that being the only reason he was afforded accommodation and an allowance. But today that would be over, he would be no ones fucking tool. When dusk settled this evening he would be on his way, planning to scale a low section of wall in the slums and making a break for freedom. Happy birthday to me.