Chapter 28: (Trigger warning: conversation involving rape)
Kakashi set Naruto down on his feet next to the drying rack, handing him a dry towel. "It's going to be dark soon, we should make dinner and turn in early for the night." They both quickly toweled off and set about their usually nightly routine, Naruto starting the fire while Kakashi prepped their meal. They ate in peaceful silence, quickly retiring to the tent for the night. Kakashi was laid out on his back, Naruto curled up to his side, head on his shoulder, hand on his chest. Kakashi sighed happily and side hugged the blonde. His eyes were already getting heavy, sleep wasn't far off. He could hear Naruto's steady breathing, it seemed he was having difficulty falling asleep. Kakashi didn't want Naruto alone with his thoughts so he inquired, "Something bothering you, love. You can talk to me." Naruto stiffened a little at the question, stunned at the fact that Kakashi always seemed to be able to tell when something was on his mind. Naruto sighed heavily, "Oh, it's nothing, just silly stuff." Kakashi rolled over to face the blonde, hugging him tightly, "Tell me." Naruto avoided eye contact, his fingers playing with the ridges of Kakashi's abdomen, "I was just thinking about how this is my first relationship… I had never so much as even hugged another person before you. I… it made me realize you have probably had a couple relationships before me and I…" Kakashi cut him off, "I haven't." Naruto met his eye, "You haven't what?" "I haven't been in a relationship before." Kakashi could read the look of shook on Narutos face so he continued, "I have had my share of sexual partners but I have never been in a proper relationship. I have never let myself get close to anyone, well, until now." Kakashi hugged Naruto tighter, placing a soft kiss on his lips. "I have never held someone as they slept, never found comfort in their smell or touch, not until you, Naruto." Naruto was wide eyed, slightly blushing, "Oh… have you… have you been with another man before me?" Kakashi flinched at the question replying, "I have, it was a very long time ago." Kakashi could tell Naruto was curious but too nervous to ask anything more so he continued, "I had just joined the ANBU, he was my superior. The ANBU is filled with a lot of damaged people who handle their traumas… cruelly. He used me as an outlet for his rage and hurt, forcing himself on me again and again. I eventually ranked up in the ANBU and became a squad leader, which freed me from his constant assaults." Naruto was shivering in his embrace, eyes filled with unshed tears, "Oh Kakashi, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked…" Kakashi smiled at the blonde, "It's okay love, that was a long time ago." Naruto's arm found its way around to Kakashi's back, fingers trailing through the many scars. "... and these scars Kashi…?" Kakashi's lips drew into a tight line, reluctant to share anything more to spare Naruto pain, but they had made a promise to not hide anything from each other. "A good majority of the scars on my back are from him, yes. Any time I would struggle or reject him he would restrain and whip me." Naruto was crying freely now, hot tears streaming down his whisker scared cheeks. Kakashi wiped them away, "It's okay love, like I said, it was a long time ago. I have moved past it." Kakashi collected Naruto's face in his hands, pulling him in close. He kissed the blonde softly on the mouth over and over, the tears of his lover smearing onto his own cheeks. Naruto returned the kisses in kind, hugging tightly around Kakashi's waist. Kakashi rolled back over onto his back, dragging Naruto along with him. He grabbed their blanket and draped it over them, hugging Naruto tight. "If I have learned anything, Naruto, it is that the past is the past and there isn't much to be done about it now. All we can do is strive for a better future. You taught me that. I love you, Naruto." Naruto shifted slightly so his face was over Kakashi's beating heart. "I love you too, Kashi." Naruto pressed soft kisses to Kakashi's chest while Kakashi ran his fingers through his hair. "Go to sleep, love." Naruto hummed and nuzzled his face against Kakashi's chest, finally closing his eyes. Kakashi listened carefully for Naruto to fall asleep, finally allowing himself to sleep when he could hear him softly snoring. Kakashi fell into a fitful sleep, his mind assaulted with memories he hadn't thought about in a long time. The months of abuse and rape at the hands of the ANBU flooding his dreams in twisted little snap shots. He twitched awake, sweat pouring from his forehead. He was trying to calm his breathing, not wanting to wake Naruto. The blonde was murmuring in his sleep, hugging onto Kakashi tightly. Kakashi tipped his head up, bringing it up to the crown of Naruto's head. He inhaled deeply, breathing in his intoxicating calming scent. Kakashi remained this way for a few moments, feeling his heartbeat settle and his body slowly relax. He placed a soft kiss onto the top of the blonde's head before laying his head back down and drifting back to sleep.
Naruto woke up early, he had slept wonderfully though he was sure it was the exact opposite for Kakashi. His gray hair nin was still deeply asleep, his hand resting atop Naruto's head. Naruto carefully lifted Kakashi's hand off his head, lowering it down to his side. Naruto pushed himself up off the older man, gazing down at his sleeping figure. Naruto took in every line of muscle, the pinkish hue of his small nipples, the fresh burnt wound on his shoulder, an injury he sustained protecting him. Naruto's chest tightened; he was so thankful to have someone that cared for him. He had never felt safe or loved his whole life. Naruto lowered his lips to Kakashi's chest, kissing every exposed inch, whispering thank yous across the ivory flesh.
Kakashi slowly woke up, he could hear Naruto whispering and feel him pressing gentle little kisses to his chest. A small smile found its way to his lips, reaching his hand up to stroke the head of the blonde. "Good morning my sweet little fox." Kakashi hummed. Naruto kissed his way up to Kakashi's face, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "Morning, Kashi."
They dressed and went about their usual morning routine, quickly preparing and eating breakfast. "Alright, you ready to start practicing your chakra control Naruto?" the blonde nodded enthusiastically, tidying away his dishes and standing by Kakashi's side. "We can probably practice this in the safety of the gully today, you won't need too much room to move around. Come." Kakashi led Naruto deeper into the gully away from their camp, stopping a short distance in. The area was mostly shaded from the sun, the gully walls standing tall around them. There was a decent patch of sand next to a lazy deep section of the river that Kakashi sat down on. "Here, this should do. Were you taught about chakra when you were at the academy?" Naruto sat across from Kakashi nodding. "Okay, then I will only briefly refresh you on it. So every living thing has chakra, what we will be trying to accomplish is increasing your overall chakra by mixing it with your stamina. Now stamina is the mixing of your physical and spiritual energies. You garner your physical energy from all the cells within your body and your spiritual energy comes from the will and experience of your mind. All of this sounding familiar?" Naruto nodded again, brow furrowed in concentration. "You have an impressive amount of stamina Naruto, the amount of chakra you will be able to create is going to be far more than I am even capable of." Kakashi watched as Naruto's eyes widened in surprise. "That being said, you not only hold your own chakra within you but you also have the Kyuubis as well. I have witnessed you draw from his chakra when you were fearful." Kakashi remembered the insane power of Naruto's fist connecting with his face, when he had finally caught up to him after he fled from the village. Naruto hung his head in shame, remembering the same encounter. Kakashi gripped him under the chin, giving him a reassuring smile, "I didn't mention that to upset you, love. It is just something we will have to be mindful of when we are trying to train your chakra." Kakashi dropped his hand and sat back up straight, "I want you to close your eyes and relax your mind. Feel for the swirling of your chakra and draw it throughout your body. Start by collecting it at your feet and bring it up to the tips of your fingers. Once you reach your fingers, build more chakra and travel it back down. I want you to get a feel for the chakra channels throughout your body." Naruto closed his eyes, breathing deeply and evenly to steady his mind. He focused on the swirling of his chakra in his stomach, sending it down to his feet. He held the chakra there for a moment before trailing back up his legs, across his stomach and up his arms to his fingers. Naruto inhaled a steady breath, pulling more chakra from his stomach and adding it to the tips of his fingers. He followed the same path as before, memorizing the flow of the channels as his chakra traveled through them. Chakra back at his feet, he held it there for a moment before releasing it back into his body. Naruto opened his eyes to find Kakashi staring at him wide eyed with his mouth hanging open. "What?" Kakashi shook his head, a small smirk playing on his lips, "Nothing. Here, I want to try something. Give me your hands." Naruto offered up his hands, Kakashi holding them in his own. "I am going to channel my chakra through you. I will send it into your left hand and trail it to your right. My chakra will feel different than yours, I am going to send a very small amount but it may feel uncomfortable since your body isn't used to it. Ready?" Naruto nodded and closed his eyes. Kakashi watched the blonde carefully as he sent his chakra into his hand. Naruto gasped at the feel of Kakashi's chakra entering his body. It felt far different from his own, it felt like it was buzzing and humming through his chakra channels. Naruto remembered that Kakashi had told him his nature was predominantly lighting. That was exactly what it felt like, sharp little bolts trailed down his arm, across his chest, down his other arm and out through his hand. Naruto opened his eyes to look back at Kakashi, "Wow… you are right. Your chakra feels far different from mine, yours is sharp and jolting just like your element type. Is that what it feels like to you too?" Kakashi nodded, "I am curious to see what yours feels like if you're willing to try." Kakashi watched as Naruto's eyes went wide with fear, "I… I'm scared… I don't want to hurt you Kakashi." Kakashi gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hands lightly, "I could remove my hands from yours if it hurts love…But if it makes you uncomfortable you don't have to… Let's move on." Kakashi made to remove his hands from Narutos but the blonde held fast. "We can try… tell me what to do." Kakashi squeezed his hands again and explained, "Just like splitting the leaf, you concentrate your chakra into your hand then to your fingertips and focus on it flowing through my chakra channel to your other hand. It should feel fairly similar to what it felt like when you were just moving your chakra through your own channels. You don't need to send much, just close your eyes and concentrate." Naruto nodded, a look of trepidation crossing his face. He leaned forward and kissed Kakashi, "Please stop me if it hurts…" "I will love, just relax and focus." Kakashi watched as Naruto closed his eyes and focused, he braced himself for the rush of chakra that was impending. Naruto's chakra slammed into him as he expected, the overwhelming surge of power and raw chakra was almost frightening. Kakashi stifled a scream, biting his lip harshly, still watching over Naruto as his brows were scrunched in concentration. Naruto's chakra felt like a tornado, twirling and ripping at his chakra channels, and behind it was only heat, red hot fire similar to what he felt when he grasped him while cloaked by the Kyuubi. Kakashi tensed as Naruto's chakra made the painful journey across his chest and down his other arm to his hand. He took in a deep breath and tried to relax his body before Naruto opened his eyes. Naruto's eyes fluttered open trying to read Kakashi's face. Kakashi smiled at him and asked, "How did it feel? Do you think you have a better sense for chakra channels?" Naruto stared at him silently for a moment, trying to read his face for any pain, "Yeah, I think I've got it down. I have never really sat down and concentrated on it before but I can feel it traveling through my body. What did my chakra feel like?" Kakashi was reluctant but spoke before showing Naruto his hands, "It felt about how I expected it would. When you were concentrating your chakra and moving it within yourself, it was clear that you have an overwhelming supply of it. I was curious to feel it and understand it better. Your overall chakra feels as it should from a wind element user, swirling and fast. But, the overall power you have behind it is astonishing. Add to that the underlying chakra of the Kyuubi and it is almost beyond fathomable. At the tail end of your chakra is a burning hot, almost fire elemental, sensation. I imagine this is residual chakra that you have absorbed just from the Kyuubi residing within you. It isn't harnessed chakra but chakra that has woven its way within your own." Kakashi finally turned over his hands to show Naruto the slight damage to his palms, they were slightly singed, a painful pink border surrounding the blacked palms. Naruto examined his palms and looked back at him with an angry scowl, "You told me you would stop me if it hurt." Kakashi winced at his scowl, dropping his head, "It felt more important to better understand and explain it to you. It didn't hurt that bad." Kakashi tilted his head to the side to try and sneak a peek at the blonde to see how mad he was. Naruto was still examining his hands, lips drawn in a tight line. "I'm sorry…" Kakashi whispered. Naruto sighed and gave him a light smile. "And you tell me I'm stubborn." Naruto placed soft kisses near the singed bits of Kakashi's hands. "What's next?"
"Well, it's clear to me now that we don't need to push you to your limits to increase your chakra levels, you already have levels way above normal. So we will focus more on manipulating your chakra. Humans do not have an even amount of physical and spiritual energy in them at any given time, you have to focus to balance them to use your chakra effectively." Naruto nodded, "Okay, but how do I do that?" "Well, you already have all the tools you need, the leaf splitting, water walking and wall climbing; all of these prove that you are already capable of balancing and using the energy in your body. Repetition will allow your body to become accustomed to your chakra use, allowing you to manipulate it with ease over time." Naruto pushed himself to his feet, "I see, now can I use clones to learn faster?" Kakashi chuckled, "Well, you could but I don't think it's really…" Before Kakashi could finish talking, Naruto summoned around thirty clones, filling the small section of the gully. Kakashi shook his head with a smile, "You stay right here, I'll go get you some leaves." Kakashi quickly Body Flickered to the top of the gully, gathering up a few handfuls of leaves. By the time he returned, Naruto had divided his clones into different tasks. Ten clones were standing on a deep section of river, eyes closed in concentration. Ten more were taking turns running up the side of the gully wall, planting their feet against the stone and remaining in place until they lost concentration. The remaining clones and Naruto were seated in the sand awaiting Kakashi's return. Kakashi divided the leaves amongst them and sat back in the shade, watching in fascination as Naruto and his clones set to work.
Hours passed with no sign of Naruto stopping any time soon. Kakashi wanted him to rest for a bit so he called out, "Naruto," his blonde lifted his head up in the crowd of clones, "Come here, I want to tell you something." Naruto made his way to where Kakashi had seated himself, lowering himself down in front of him. "Something important to remember when it comes to chakra control is that it is most effectively used with a sound body and mind. Physical and mental exhaustion, even emotional distress, will have an impact on how you are able to manipulate your chakra. I think you should take a break, disperse your clones and sit with me for a while." Naruto nodded and closed his eyes, puffs of smoke of the dissipating clones filled the gully behind him. Naruto opened his eyes back up slowly, the wave of exhaustion hitting him was clear on his face. Kakashi braced the blonde as he slumped forward, shifting him around and lowering him to rest his head in his lap. "My stubborn little fox." Kakashi mused, brushing his fingers through Naruto's hair. A few moments later, Naruto's eyes were fluttering back open, "Sorry, I'm fine…" Naruto made to sit up but Kakashi placed his hand on the blonde's chest, "Rest for a moment, please love. Let me show you something." Kakashi brought his hand up in front of Naruto, he concentrated and formed a small ball of spinning chakra in the palm of his hand. "This is called Rasengan, it is an A-rank technique, aside from myself there are only two other shinobi who are capable of using it. The first being one of the Legendary Sannins, Jiraiya and the second being your late father, Minato. Minato was the creator of this jutsu and taught it to both his sensei Jiraiya and myself. I later manipulated the Rasengan by adding my lightning element to it, creating my own jutsu, Chidori." Kakashi added his lightning element to the swirling Rasengan in his hand, the spiral quickly changing to dancing bolts of lightning that crawled up his arm. Kakashi let the jutsu dissipate, lowering his hand back down onto Naruto's chest. "I want to teach you the Rasengan, Naruto. I am certain that with your level of chakra and your wind nature you could make it a very formidable attack." Naruto was silent for a moment before responding, "Do you really think I will be able to learn an A-rank technique…" Kakashi pulled Naruto up his lap, leaning the blondes back against his chest. Kakashi hugged him tightly, kissing his neck, "Do not underestimate yourself, love, you are more powerful and capable than you realize."
They sat resting on the beach for another hour before Naruto became restless, "Come on Kashi, I'm fine, we're wasting daylight." Kakashi laughed but finally conceded, "Alright, alright…how about we start working on the Rasengan then." Kakashi pushed himself to his feet, helping Naruto to his as well. Kakashi quickly formed another Rasengan in his open palm for Naruto to study while he spoke, "The Rasengan is created by one's ability to mold chakra. It is essentially a contained, extremely fast, rotating sphere of chakra. Because of the extremely high speed and power behind the Rasengan, it creates a very destructive impact." Kakashi quickly spun around and jabbed the Rasengan into the stone wall of the gully behind him. The rock exploded around his palm leaving a gaping hole behind. "Now, I intentionally didn't have much power behind this one but you see what I mean." Kakashi turned back around to face Naruto, the blonde was wide eyed staring at the hole left in the rock wall. "When you were moving chakra through your body earlier, Naruto, your chakra was visible in the palms of your hands. You had your eyes closed in concentration so you were not aware you were even doing it." Naruto replied, "So that's why you were looking at me so funny after…" Kakashi nodded and continued, "That's why I think it will take you no time at all to master the Rasengan. I want you to keep your eyes open and draw chakra up to your hands as you usually would, keep adding chakra until you see what I mean." Naruto's brow furrowed as he tried to concentrate, having a bit of trouble directing his chakra with his eyes open. Eventually he channeled his chakra to his hand, slowly adding more until blue shimmering chakra was shrouding his hand. "Holy shit…" murmured the blonde as he pulled more chakra toward his hand. The blue shroud grew larger, slowly climbing up the length of his forearm. "Be careful, love, draw it back." Kakashi watched Naruto carefully as he drew back his chakra to a more manageable size, "See what I mean? Now I want you to try and mold the chakra in your palm, change the shape of it into a sphere." Naruto nodded and focused on his palm intently, sweat slowly reaching his brow. After the span of a few minutes, Naruto huffed out a sigh and dispersed the chakra. "Can I try doing this with clones too so I learn it faster?" Kakashi was thoughtful for a moment before responding, "Alright, but only a few, I don't want you running the risk of chakra depletion. We will only keep up this training for about another hour. This will be heavily taxing on your body, I don't want you to hurt yourself." Naruto nodded, performing the jutsu, three clones popping up at his sides.
Kakashi sat back down in the sand, back pressed to the gully wall, keeping a watchful eye on Naruto and his clones. Naruto and the clones all had chakra pulled to their hands, the shroud of chakra twisting and shifting under their attempts to mold its shape. The hour passed quickly, Kakashi pushing himself back to his feet, "Alright, that's enough for today." Naruto and his clones all pulled back their chakra. "Can I try it just one more time, please?" Kakashi knew the young man was already past his limit, Kakashi was well aware the only reason he hadn't dissipated his clones was to avoid collapsing. Kakashi sighed and nodded, "You are going to feel like shit after this, Naruto." The blonde gave Kakashi a beaming smile before focusing a scowl on his open palm. Kakashi watched as Naruto's chakra gathered into the center of his palm, twitching and twisting under Naruto's glare. After the turn of a few seconds the chakra slowly smoothed out and formed a round sphere in his hand. "Well holy shit… you never cease to amaze." Naruto's scowl turned soft, he released the chakra and dissipated his clones in one foul swoop, quickly grabbing onto Kakashi's shoulders as exhaustion overwhelmed him.
Kakashi caught Naruto as he clutched on to him, lifting him up and over his shoulder. Naruto was limp and groaning over his shoulder. "I hate to say I told you so but you really overdid it, love." Naruto grumbled incoherently as Kakashi walked them back to camp. He deposited the blonde in the tent when they arrived back, quickly summoning his ninken. "I want you to watch over Naruto while I go check our traps and collect food." The dogs diligently positioned themselves around the camp, Bisuke entering the tent and curling up beside the now sleeping blonde. Kakashi quickly set out, climbing over the gully wall and dashing across the beach to the forest. He followed the familiar pathing of traps Naruto had laid days before, collecting two hares. Kakashi hated being away from Naruto for any length of time, his body tense with fear. He quickly collected a few fiddlehead and dandelion leaves before sprinting back to the gully. Kakashi found everything exactly how he left it, the ninken still protectively surrounding the camp. Pakkun greeted him upon his return, "He's still asleep, boss." Kakashi dropped down to one knee and scratched the pug behind his ear. "Thank you, Pakkun, I'm going to send you boys home for now." The pug nodded as Kakashi reversed summoned them. He sat himself near the smoldering fire pit, quickly skinning and gutting the hares. He rinsed them clean and set them aside for tomorrow's dinner, well aware Naruto wouldn't be coherent enough to eat tonight. Kakashi made himself a light dinner as darkness started to fall, quickly giving camp a once over before making his way to a tent to sleep. Naruto was passed out cold, body resting at an uncomfortable looking angle. Kakashi shifted the young man into a more natural position, pulling a blanket up over him. He kissed the blonde gently on the forehead before curling up on his side, resting an arm around his waist.