I sit on a barstool at Dawn's kitchen's island the next morning, eating ice cream out of the tub, sharing with her. The night before barely seems real in my head, a blur of crisp, clear memories, too ridiculous for my brain to accept. I pause with the spoon halfway into the strawberry ice cream and turn to Dawn, who looks perfect, despite her hangover. She always looks perfect.
"You let Ash stay here last night," I say casually, trying not to sound suspicious. She looks up from the magazine she'd been reading.
"Yeah. Could hardly tell him to go home when he had no way back."
I nod. "You like him?"
"Ash?" She says innocently, even though she obviously knows exactly who I'm talking about. She's buying herself a few seconds to think of an answer. "He's alright, we've only known him a week though." She pauses, just for a second. "Do you?"
"I don't know," I answer truthfully. There's a strange vibe about him, one I've picked up on more and more since I developed these… powers. There's something different about him, but I haven't figured out what yet, and I'm not sure I want to. Plus, there's this strange connection I feel between us, drawing me to him despite my attempts to ignore it. Dawn's face twists a little.
"Oh, I thought you liked him. You spent most of the night with him, after all."
It isn't a dig, but it feels like one, and stings like one. I think back to Drew, the accusations he'd thrown about despite knowing nothing, and feel a hot surge of anger I fight to push back down. "He's a little… Intense."
The corner of Dawn's mouth twitches up a little, and I don't know what she thinks I was implying, but she doesn't give me time to tell her she's wrong. She jumps up out of the barstool and throws her magazine down on the marble counter. It skids across and falls off the other side, but she doesn't care. Her face lights up. "Let's go to the beach."
"What?"
"Yeah! Let's get everyone together and go to the beach today. C'mon, it'll be fun, and it's sunny. We can't waste the last days of summer sitting around."
She might have had a point on any other day, but when last night was such a disaster for me, and I haven't had the chance to speak to Drew yet, I'm not sure it's a good idea. "Oh, Dawn, I-"
"Please?" She begs, puckering her lips slightly. I sigh. She's hard to say no to. It seems the whole murder has been forgotten about, and no one is thinking about the fact that a murderer is likely walking freely around town, but then again, it isn't like we can do anything about it. If they said it was safe to go to school tomorrow, we'd have to go.
I cave and agree. Dawn offers to drive me home in her new white Toyota RAV4. It's such a big car for such a small girl, I almost laughed when I saw her in the driver's seat for the first time. Her driving is a little scary, but she gets me home, where she sits in her car and calls everyone one by one while I rummage around for my bikini. She's still on the phone when I come back out, wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt over the red lace up bikini set I'd pulled on. The thin straps are digging into my shoulders slightly and it feels like it barely covers the parts that needed covering.
I pull myself up into the passenger seat and shut the door. Dawn seems to be in a feisty argument, and it sounds like Misty on the other side. Misty is never a fan of last-minute plans, and this is very last minute. After another few lines of persistence, Dawn hangs up the phone and smiles at me.
"They'll meet us there." By there, I know she means the bay, about a ten minute drive away. It's a small, rocky area that leads onto a vast expanse of beach that's almost always empty whenever we go, our little secret. Dawn switches on the A/C in her car, which I appreciate, then pulls away.
When we arrive at the beach, we're the first there, unsurprisingly. I guess the others will take a while to get ready and banish their hangovers as best as they can before they get here. Dawn parks in the little gravel car park and hops out. I notice she's taking up two spaces, but choose to say nothing. She's packed sunscreen, towels and cold drinks in her car, and I get them and start to head down the worn down wooden stairs that lead onto the rocks. Just as I expected, it's empty.
Dawn drops her things on the closest rock to the sand and immediately pulls off her clothes, folding them up neatly and placing them on the same rock. She's wearing a black halter neck bikini top that's tied behind her neck, and matching bottoms. She quickly pulls her hair up into a high ponytail, and her hair is so long that it still trails down her back, even tied up. She looks beautiful. I'm envious of her for a moment.
"Who's coming, then?" I ask, sitting on the edge of the rock, still wearing my t-shirt and shorts.
"Everyone. Wasn't hard to convince them when the weather is like this. Oh, and Ash."
I swallow hard. "Ash?"
She shrugs nonchalantly. "Well yeah. He's becoming part of our group, after all."
I suppose that's true. He's already been speaking to Gary a lot, from what I've heard, and Dawn seems to like him, so it only makes sense that he'd be a part of our friendship group from now on. Dawn rarely accepts anyone so easily. The last was Serena, two years ago. She's never made any effort to befriend anybody new since then, and there has been a few that have tried.
Dawn sits beside me on the rock, and starts talking about some celebrity drama she's been reading up on, but my mind is elsewhere. I'm wondering, staring down at my hands resting on my lap, why me? What is going on with me? I've never thought I gave off… main character energy, or whatever it's called, so why is it me that has this weird thing going on with me? Dawn and Gary, they're the main characters of our group. I'm just… a background character. The main character's best friend. That's all I've ever wanted to be. I've always thought if something special were to happen, it would happen to one of those two.
Drew is the first to arrive. I hear a car pull up and somehow just know it's him without turning to look. Dawn looks back up over her shoulder, pulls a sour face she can't hide, then dismisses herself, jogging off across the beach towards the water. I suck in a deep breath as I hear him approaching. I don't speak, even as he climbs down to stand beside where my legs are dangling in the air off the edge of the stone. He puts his hands on my knees, forcing me to look down at him.
"Hi," he says, smiling up at me. I resent him for a moment, acting like nothing's happened. Acting like he didn't flirt with Solidad for hours, then accuse me of doing the same thing when I wasn't. I blink blankly at him. "I'm sorry about last night, May. I… I had too much to drink, I think. I trust you. I do."
That isn't the problem, I want to tell him. The glaring problem here is that I'm not sure I trust him. Not with this pretty, confident new girl that clearly has an interest in him. If she'd pursued him further, would he send her away? Tell her he was taken? I'm not sure.
"You were flirting with Solidad," I say plainly. His face is shocked for a moment, then he switches it off again.
"I wasn't, May. I promise. She just told me she was new and wanted me to tell her about some of you. I told her you were my girlfriend."
He's apologetic, and he always manages to make it look good when he's like this. We argue, he apologises, and we go back to ignoring all of our problems. I'm becoming increasingly aware of it and he's not helping. It's becoming increasingly hard to ignore them. Still, I sigh and say "okay". He perks up, taking a step back. Before he can speak, I hear voices from the stairs, and turn to see everybody else has arrived all at once. Serena prances down the stairs in a baby pink summer dress and matching sandals, clutching a giant straw sun hat on her head. Misty's energy is the exact opposite. She drags herself down, already in her blue one piece swimsuit. Gary walks beside her. Ash is at the back, casually walking down the stairs.
Serena pulls her dress over her head and tosses it, then jumps down in her pink bikini and runs right over to the sea, shouting something at Dawn. They have the same infectious energy as each other. I can't help but smile as she reaches the water and squeaks at the temperature. Drew notices my smile, and grabs my hand, tugging on it.
"Come on. Let's get in."
The rest of the group comes up behind me. I start to get up, turning around to greet Misty, then pause with my hand on my short's buttons. I'm not sure why, but Ash's presence is making me nervous. The night before comes back to me, how close he'd gotten to me with no explanation, the burning that had been in his eyes that had seemed a little like hatred…
"Stage fright?" Misty teases beside me, nudging a rib. I narrow my eyes at her and pull off my clothes slowly, folding them like Dawn had. "If I looked like you, I'd be half naked all the time," Misty says as she unwraps a lollipop and sticks it in her mouth. I open my mouth to argue, but she's already gone, striding over to the other girls and leaving me with the boys.
I let myself glance back at them, and find myself looking into Ash's eyes. He doesn't speak, just looks right back at me. He briefly glances between Drew and I, judging silently. Shivering slightly, I turn again and hop down to where Drew is waiting, and go to join the others.
I walk into the water until the waves lap over my hips. I bite back my own squeal when I feel how cold it is. Once I get used to it I'm fine, even having fun as Serena splashes me playfully. Drew comes up behind me and snakes his hands around my waist under the water. The touch makes me tense up, and I can only hope he doesn't notice.
"Hey," Dawn says, looking over my shoulder, and I know it's Ash and Gary joining us. He comes up beside Dawn and looks right at me. Shirtless now, I can see his whole chest, and he must have played a sport or something at his last school because wow… He's even fitter than Gary. I look away quickly.
"I'm going to get something to drink," I say, pulling away from Drew. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't stop me, and I wade out of the water, dripping onto the sand. I walk over to the cooler Dawn had put the drinks in and reach over to grab one but slip suddenly, gasping as I put a hand out to stop myself face planting into the rock. It lands on something sharp, and a searing pain lances out over my whole palm. I bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from crying as I regain my balance and hold up my hand, looking at it. A deep cut spreads from just below my pinkie to the base of my thumb, dripping with blood, and I feel faint instantly. I'm just about to turn and shout for someone when suddenly the pain stops, like someone flipped a switch on it. Then I notice, with horror, that the wound… the wound is sealing itself up, my skin fusing back together all along my palm, the blood crawling back up into it. My hand is shaking so violently I can hardly see it, and I use my other hand to clutch my wrist still. There isn't even a scar.
I feel sick, bending over a little, still clutching my wrist, unable to move, unable to tear my eyes away from where there'd been a gash moments ago. There's no mistaking it now. There is something wrong with me. What is this, magic? There's no other way to explain how something like this could happen.
I stand there hyperventilating for another moment. I have to get back, or the others will think I'm just avoiding them and don't want to be here. I do. I'd been having fun. Now the unavoidable truth of my powers is making it hard to breathe.
I grab a drink and open it, but even though my mouth is dry, I don't want it, so I pour it onto the sand and put the can back to make it look like I drank it. Then I plaster on the best fake smile I can manage and go back to the group.
We spend the rest of the morning there, either in the water or lying on towels on the beach. I interact with Ash during group conversations, but never one on one. Drew makes a point of always being beside me, always with some part of him touching some part of me. I let him, because I don't have the strength for another argument. Once it hits one, Dawn announces she's hungry, and we all agree to go to the closest diner, which is on the way back into town, just off the road. We all get dressed and I get back in Dawn's car, but this time Misty and Serena join us, sitting in the back seat. Drew and Ash get in their own cars, and Gary gets in Ash's, to my surprise. I think Drew's a little annoyed that I didn't go with him, but Dawn's car is so much more comfortable anyway, and I don't think I can handle his leg on my thigh right now.
We sit cramped in a big booth at the diner and have dinner and milkshakes. Drew pays for mine even though I fight him on it, which tells me he feels guilty about the night before, and only makes me question whether he'd told the truth, or if he really had been flirting with Solidad. I push it to the back of my mind. Once we finish, Dawn announces she's ordering another strawberry milkshake, right as Drew's mom calls him, telling him he needs to go home. I don't hear why. He kisses my forehead as he slides out of the booth and leaves.
"Did you make up?" Dawn asks the minute the doors closed behind him. I look back, and they're all waiting for my answer.
"Yeah," I say simply. Misty groans, and I shoot her a look, but she's rolling her eyes. I know she disapproves, but she doesn't have to be so vocal about it. Especially since I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've let it slide with Ash sitting right there, knowing he'd had to step in. He probably thinks I'm pathetic.
"Good," Dawn says, and I think she might be the only one that thinks that's a good thing. "I don't like it when we don't get along."
Before I can say more, she picks up her phone and reads something. "Shit, my mom's coming back and I need to tidy the house. I gotta run. Take my milkshake."
I try to protest, but she's already standing and grabbing her bag. "But you're my ride," I say pathetically.
"Well, Ash can give you one. He lives right by you anyway, right?" She asks as she shuffles out hurriedly.
"Right," Ash says, shrugging. "It's no problem."
It is a problem. I clench my jaw shut as Dawn winks at me and leaves. What is she playing at? There's something going on, I can just tell. The waitress puts the milkshake on the table, looking confused that Dawn's gone, but I just smile and take it. I don't want it, but sip on it anyway as the conversation turns to the murder at school. I try to tune it out, but it intrigues me too much, I admit. I still think it was strange that it had happened on the night I'd had that first nightmare, and that my weird powers had come right after.
"Hopefully they get you next," Misty is saying to Gary, and laughing when Serena scolded her for it. My eyes flick to Ash, who's looking back over at me, his gaze narrowed a bit, the way you'd look at someone you didn't quite trust. I don't look back at him again until we leave.
When we go out to the car, Gary and Serena both say they'll get in the back. I don't want to get in the front, but I can't exactly say that out loud, so I suck it up and get in. He drops Serena off first, then Gary, and then it's just us. I try to think of something to say as he pulls away from Gary's drive.
"Thanks for stepping in last night." I cringe, remembering it actually wasn't the first time. He's been here a week, and he's had to help me with Drew twice already. I can't really blame him for judging me and my relationship.
"Is he always like that?" He asks.
"Yeah, honestly." I'm done with lying for Drew's sake. Ash has seen enough to know the answer anyway. "He's a dick."
Ash laughs suddenly, making me jump. "Yeah. I didn't want to say it, but yeah. He is."
"You don't like him?" I ask.
He raises an eyebrow at me like it's a stupid question, and it probably is. "I'll tolerate him if I have to," is all he says. I find that kind of funny. That he can just about tolerate Drew, and that's it. I wonder if Drew can tolerate Ash. I wonder if he'd kick off if he knew we were alone together again. Probably.
I find it surprisingly easy to make conversation for the rest of the ride, and I'm almost disappointed when I see my house. Again, he pulls onto his drive then walks me over to my door, as if I could be kidnapped in those thirty seconds.
"What are you grinning at?" My mom asks as I close the door behind me, looking at me over the top of her glasses.
"I'm not grinning."
"You are."
"Well, maybe I was thinking about something funny," I say defensively, and start off up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I had not been grinning at Ash.
They call the school together on Monday morning to let us know that while they haven't caught the murderer, we needn't worry. I think it's a little stupid to say that to us when someone has literally been killed on the steps outside. They also tell us that they will only go ahead with the Halloween Ball, which is due to happen in two weeks time, if they've arrested someone by then. This earns a collective groan from the crowd. The Halloween ball is always a favourite. People dress up in ridiculous and skimpy costumes and sneak alcohol for the whole night.
Drew corners me after as I walk out of the gym with Misty and Ash, throws his arm around my shoulder and asks me to be his date to the ball. I suppose it's romantic that he thinks to ask me even though it's probably a given that we'd go together. Later, Dawn tells me that Ash asked her to go. I feel my heart sink a little as she says it, but ignore it. Gary asked Misty, but she declined, saying she wasn't going, and so Gary asked Serena, who agreed.
I don't speak to Ash much for a few days. I don't have any more nightmares. I try to ignore the strange magic I've developed. I try to pretend life is going on as normal. But it isn't. Drew is becoming even more distant, taking hours to respond to my texts sometimes. I spend most nights alone in my room. When I video call Dawn, she talks about Ash, and how they'd been on a date to an ice cream parlour. When I ask her if that means they're dating, she says no, she hasn't known him long enough, and isn't sure if she's "feeling him" or not.
I ask Drew to hang out on Saturday. He tells me he's busy. I wonder what Drew could possibly have organised on a Saturday evening, but decide not to push it. Trapped in my room again, my mind starts to spin. Restless, I sigh and jump up, pulling on matching running shorts and a long sleeved crop top. I have to get out of this room.
Knowing mom won't let me out alone because, admittedly, it's a dumb idea, I sneak out. It's only nine, but already dark out. It's a little chilly, but by the time I take off jogging, I'm warm. I head to the park, staying in lit up areas, but barely anyone is out. They're the sensible ones.
I turn a corner into the dark park, down a wide pathway flanked by tall trees. My breath forms clouds in front of my face. I close my eyes, letting myself feel the slight pain of the cramp starting in my side, until I feel something. That same strange tingling I feel with Ash, but... slightly different. I stop, frozen on the spot suddenly, trying not to breathe too heavily and failing. Someone's watching me. I don't know how, but I can just feel it.
Then I hear them. Footsteps behind me. I whirl, just in time to see the dark figure, balaclava pulled over their face, knife in their hand. I open my mouth to scream, but they're too close, and clasp their hand over my mouth before I can, pulling my back into their chest and holding the knife against my throat. The cold of the blade is the only feeling in my entire body. It shuts down completely, betraying me. I can't move at all, terror gripping me.
"Make one sound and I'll fucking kill you," the voice is male, but higher pitched than most, and I don't recognise it. I nod, feeling tears streaming down my cheeks. I think I might throw up on the pavement as he pulls his hands away and reaches for something. I feel the knife fall away from my throat for a moment as he rummages in a bag, grabbing for what sounds like a pair of handcuffs. I only have this one moment.
I push my hand out backwards, unsure what it would even do, and the knife barely misses my neck as the man is thrown back, landing with a thud on the ground. Maybe I could turn around and grab the knife, but I don't dare hesitate. I take off running, faster than I ever thought possible, back towards the house.
"Help!" I scream, unsure if anyone would hear me from here. "Help!"
I dare a look over my shoulder. He's up and running after me. The cramp in my side is burning now, my legs becoming wobbly, but I don't stop. I don't stop even when the tears in my eyes block my vision. I don't stop, don't stop sprinting, until a figure comes into view, running towards me, and part of me knows who it is without even seeing.
The blood rushing past my ears means I hear nothing as I throw myself against his chest, feeling his arms wrap around me protectively. I'm trembling, barely able to keep myself up. I fucked up. I realise I'm still crying loudly once my heart rate slows and I start to catch my breath. I still don't open my eyes, even as Ash starts to guide me down the path, his arm around my shoulder.
"Come on," he's saying gently. I let him lead me. I don't protest when I open my eyes and we're walking up the drive to his house. He unlocks his door and lets me step inside first. I cross my arms over my chest and let myself take in the house. It's the same as mine really, just decorated differently.
I'm sure how long has passed. "I… Did you call the police?" I ask, my voice coming out small and weak.
"No, you told me not to."
Had I? It was possible that I had when I was out of it. I'd never felt panic like it in my life. Every time I blink I see that balaclava staring back at me. If I didn't have these powers… I'd likely be dead now. But I'd used them, and now someone knows. Someone knows about me. Panic grips me again, twisting my stomach, and I clutch it, bending over a little, my eyes wide as I stare down at the carpet.
Ash puts a hand gently on my back and guides me up the stairs to his room. I sit on the edge of his bed, still staring at his floor. Every limb feels limp, and I just want to curl up.
"Here," Ash says, handing me a warm mug which I assume is tea. I didn't even notice him leave. I take it, wrapping both my hands around it, hoping it'll warm them up. My whole body's gone cold now. I feel the bed move beside me and figure Ash is sitting next to me.
"Do you want me to call the police now?" He asks. I shake my head. Something tells me that's a terrible idea. What if they find him now, and he tells them about me, as revenge? Would they even believe him, whoever he is?
"I didn't see who it was, I'd be no help." It's a poor excuse, because any information is probably helpful to the police, but Ash doesn't question it, just nods. I wonder again if this is all a coincidence. I'm only the second person to be attacked as far as I know.
"You shouldn't go out alone again." Ash leans into me a little, his shoulder brushing against mine, and I feel the hairs stand up on my arms. "Especially not at night."
My face feels hot. I'm ashamed of myself for being so stupid. "I should get home," I say, not knowing what else to say. I stand but Ash stays seated behind me.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" He asks. I probably won't be able to sleep on my own in my room, but what else can I do? I nod, not trusting myself to speak without crying. I can feel the tears building up behind my eyes again and will them not to fall, but it's only a matter of time. Ash doesn't look convinced, but stands anyway. I suddenly wonder where his mom is. I didn't see her when we came in, and she hadn't come to see who he was with.
He walks me to my door again, and stays there until I close it. The moment I'm alone, panic grips my chest tight again. I hear mom and dad in the kitchen and hurry up the stairs, not wanting to explain my puffy eyes to them. I sit down on the edge of my bed and pull my phone out of my back pocket. No texts from Drew. I sigh and throw myself back on the bed. I'd text him saying I was going for a jog, just to see if that would get a reaction, and he hasn't bothered to check up on me. I wonder what he's doing that is so enthralling that he could forgot about his own girlfriend for this long.
I feel my phone buzz beside me and my heart stumbles as I reach for it. Maybe this is him checking up. I hold it over my face and read the text.
You okay? For real this time.
It's Ash. Of course it is. I never responded to his last text. I remember Drew's face while he'd accused me of texting him. If I responded now, I'd be doing the thing I'd sworn I hadn't done. Then again, I'm allowed to text Gary, so why not Ash? What is the difference, really? I decide to cross that bridge if I ever come to it as I start to type a response.
As okay as I can be after being chased by a murderer.
I click on the number and finally save it. I don't even notice I've been staring up at the screen waiting for a response until a knock on my door almost has me dropping the phone on my face. Mom steps in without waiting for permission, as usual.
"Why are you dressed like that?" She asks, raising an eyebrow. I forgot about my outfit. Not trusting myself to come up with a believable excuse, I just shrug. She raises an eyebrow, but that clearly isn't what she's come in here for, so I stare at her, waiting. "I just wanted to let you know that they caught the guy."
I sit upright so fast my vision goes a little blurry. "What?"
Mom blinks, confused by my reaction. "They caught him earlier."
I stand and walk right past her, down the stairs and into the living room, where the news is playing on the TV. I ignore dad as he looks up at me. Just as she'd said, the headline announces they've caught the guy, but… The footage is from earlier today. I wring my hands together to hide the fact that they're shaking like mad.
"Are you alright?" My mom asks, coming up behind me and placing a hand on my back. I turn and smile at her.
"Yeah. Just really relieved," I lie through my teeth. I step away from her and run back up to my room, where I grab my phone, my hands trembling. Ash has text again.
I don't mind playing bodyguard.
He mustn't have seen the news yet. I swallow hard, staring down at my hands. They have the wrong guy, and isn't it wrong of me to let someone innocent go down when I know? I feel sick. What kind of person will Ash think I am?
I'm gonna tell the police, btw. They think they have the guy.
The response comes quickly. Really? Want me to come with you?
It's almost funny that he can be this friendly and calm when the other night he acted so strange. Maybe it was just the alcohol after all.
I'd like that. Thank you.
I open my messages with Dawn and stare at the screen, considering. We never keep secrets from each other. If I tell her though, then Drew would find out, and he'd find out that it had been Ash that helped me. Even though that should make him grateful to Ash, I know he'd find some way to turn it into an argument. Sighing, I lock my phone and throw it back down. Not today.