Wow. The interest shown in this is surprising to say the least. Multiple reviews and favs/follows within a day and a half. Thanks everyone, makes me feel warm and fuzzy knowing that I made others laugh or that they enjoyed something I made.
I make it a personal policy to respond to everyones reviews individually, sadly there is no way to respond to guest accounts. So I'll just give a big "Thank you" here. If guests have any questions or wish to give feed back, I'll reply to each one to the best of my ability at the bottom of the next chapter from when the review was made.
Again, thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and likes. Have fun reading. Hopefully.
My name is Saiki Kuriko. I am the world's strongest psychic.
I have felt surprised, maybe even frightened but that's impossible, for the first time in my entire life today.
As the world's strongest psychic with an extremely diverse and overpowered skill set, I can accurately hear everyone's thoughts within 200 meters. That is with my limiters on.
I've thought this ability infallible with the exception of insects and other extremely small creatures for years.
As I have never met a person immune to my telepathy, I think my attempt to fling whoever just surprised me into space with my telekinesis was fairly justified. Right? Right.
It didn't work. The energy simply dissipated when it came within contact to him and he looks completely unaffec- Wait what?
Why the hell does he look normal? A quick glance at the girl sitting next to me and the walls confirms that my X-ray vision is still there, so why isn't it working on him?
"I'm so sorry for saying you were cute, please do not kill me Saiki-sama. I'll never show up in front of you again, so please spare my life."
My vision snaps back to the person who is now on the ground doing a dogeza.
[Stop. Get up, you're going to draw attention.]
'Cute'? Ridiculous. With a flick of my wrist an entire city could be vaporized and that could be classified as 'cute'? Stop joking.
Also, am I some sort of demon? Why would I kill you for that? I've got better things to do than crush those inferior to me. Ignore my attempt to kill him just seconds ago, that was an accident.
"Who's the weirdo doing a dogeza?
"Is he begging that girl to go on a date with him or something?"
"I could've sworn I heard him begging for his life though?"
"You realize how ridiculous that sounds right? Stop being stupid."
Why isn't he getting up? The killing option is sounding better by the second.
[You're attracting more attention the longer you stay there. Get up already before I throw to the moon.]
Not even a twitch. I'd force him up myself, but my telekinesis isn't working on him. I've been actively attempting it this entire time to no avail.
Is he an idiot? Did he have a heart attack and die or something?
"Ugh! Gah!"
Not like that obviously, that guy is clearly faking it.
"Hehehe, I'll pretend to have collapsed and finally be free from this torture!"
Was the villain like laugh really necessary? Whatever, you deserve what's coming.
"Sensei, Takahashi just collapsed over here!"
"Uoooh, what's wrong!? Hang in there! Are you dead!?"
Nendo Riki. This guy is an idiot. A complete idiot. When I first met him in middle school, I originally thought I couldn't read his mind.
"Wake up! Don't you die on me, ya bastard!"
That is true and also not true. You see, he's so dumb that 98% of what he thinks is actually nothing. The other two percent he says almost simultaneously as he thinks it.
It's a scary talent. Even ascetic monks have more thoughts during deep meditation that an idiot of this caliber.
"Is that gorilla attempting CPR on that poor kid? Stop it, just take him to the infirmary."
"Urya! You're not dying on my watch!"
He's not too bad of a person, he means well at least.
Not good. It seems a certain someone escaped while I was distracted. Guess I'll have to slip out as well. Luckily I have clairvoyance to keep track of him.
Sadly there isn't a funny visual cue to show that I am using clairvoyance like in the manga and anime. You'll just have to settle for this and imagine it yourself.
[Clairvoyance]
Not there, or there... Found him. Behind the building? I was expecting him to try and run farther away.
[Teleportation]
Odd. No matter how much I focus on him, I can't read his thoughts. My telekinesis isn't working either. I suppose it would work if I wrap it around the ground he's standing on but he could get injured, he hasn't shown any real hostility so it wouldn't sit right with me.
[Oi. Turn around and face me.]
Is he ignoring me? Fine, if that's how you want to do this. I'm taking the kiddie gloves off.
[Pryokinesis]
The uninformed might ask, "Woah jumping the gun there right? Are you trying to kill him?". Incorrect, my handle on pyrokinesis is quite possibly the best out of all my abilities aside from a few obscure ones.
My fine control is so good that I can use it to heat the blood in a person's face to make it seem as if they were blushing. Yes, I could also immolate an entire city block or melt it into molten slag if I so desire.
I'm just going to use it to give him a little heat, nothing life-threatening or something a restoration can't fix.
Why isn't it working?
Well it seems as if he stopped ignoring me so it's not important.
[Finally decided to talk? Who are you?]
...Why isn't he replying? Can he not reply? What's going on?
[Humour Change]
Weird. I can tell it failed. Is he somehow stopping them with his own ability? Or is he like Kusuke and built a machine that can nullify them?
[Did Kusuke send yo-]
"I know you have that one laser eye power, not sure what it really does but please don't try to explode my head with it. It looks as if you are actively attempting it and failing."
How the hell does he even know about that? I've never even used it before, I've never even been in a situation where I could use it. Why would I ever be in a karaoke booth?
[How do you know about my psychic abilities? I swear, if Kusuke sent you here I'm going to have to teach him a lesson.]
Is my voice transmission also being blocked? Is he an idiot and forgot to switch off his device or power to allow my voice to get through?
"Why aren't you saying anything!? It's getting weird!"
He's not aware of it? Does that make me the fool!? No, I refuse to accept that.
[Stay, I'll be back in a bit. Don't even think about escaping.]
Just in case, I also make a little gesture. Kusuke you bastard, if this is one of your games I am going to break you.
[Teleportation]
I am so fucking lost.
Not much I can do. Guess it's best to just wait for Saiki to return.
While it has been a long time since I've read the manga, I think I'd remember if Saiki was originally a girl. A very cute girl, but that's besides the point.
If Saiki is female and it's not [Transformation, what else is different? Are Saiki's parents superpowered espers as well? Does Saiki's brother exist, or maybe it's a sister?
Hell, for all I know that one chuunibyou fantasy of, uh Kaido I think, could be real. What a horrifying thought. Both from the cringe and how scary an organisation actually controlling the world from the shadows would actually be.
"How curious. At a glance you don't seem to be anything special. It's strange that Kuriko's telepathy isn't getting through to you."
Oh. Well, I guess that answers that. Saiki's brother does exist. As a brother too.
"Yes yes, 'Being plain and average looking is amazing, blah blah'. I've heard you say it a thousand times. Just go sit off to the side for now. It's not often that I get to help my little sister with something. Guess my genius is superior to you in this instance, this is counting as my win on the tally board."
Guess their competitive streak is still a thing too? I remember Saiki's brother being a whole lot more arrogant and rude though.
Is it because Saiki is a girl and he's softer to her? Seems kinda sexist, but you know what? I find it sweet and cutely endearing.
"The hell are you staring at bug? Eyes over here. If you look at my baby sister in the wrong way, I'll gouge your eyes out before I bribe the authorities to overlook your 'accident'."
Ah. Nevermind, he's fucking scary. He's an extreme version of Teruhashi's brother. One that can, and will, backup his threats.
"...Yes sir? I don't think I could look at your uh, Sister as anything but something similar to a God anyways."
"Are you saying my sister isn't pretty enough? Castration first, then-"
He didn't get to finish that luckily. His face is currently kissing in the ground. Not the first time I've seen something like this, but definitely the first time it's been so fast that I couldn't even see it happen.
Saiki, that face is completely unflattering to your pretty visage. It's something only the devil would have and seeing it on a pretty girl is straight up stomach churning.
Maybe a little exciting too. I might be awakening to something I shouldn't.
"You alive? Can we please just skip over your whole siscon schtick? I kinda just want to go home and sleep now. Maybe I'll wake up in bed and this would have been a mere bad dream."
"I'm much hardier than I seem, this much is nothing. I suppose I'll set aside my evergrowing distaste for you, I did promise Kuriko to figure out what this is all about."
Darn. I might've been hoping he'd have a concussion and we'd continue this some other time.
"Hm, I have a few theories but I'll need a few samples to take back to my lab to be sure. A few hairs, a swab of the inside of your cheek and maybe a small vial of blood. Is that okay with you, bug?"
"...My name is Iridatsu Yuuji and yeah, that's fine. Saiki-san, can you please just teleport this asshole back to wherever he came from? One more snide remark from him and I'd likely try breaking my fist on his face."
She's giving a little thumbs up with a complete deadpan. That's hella cute.
"Eyes off her bug. I can tell you were just thinking something that would make me find a ditch for your corpse."
"Do you know that one wildly popular male actor Mugami something? I think you'd get along well with him. He's also a super creep who's literally in love with his sister."
Antagonizing someone that still has a syringe in their hand from taking my blood may have not be the most rational idea, but it was definitely what I did.
I could see the rage in his eyes come to life, but before he even say anything Saiki put her hand on his shoulder and teleported away.
How long was Saiki's teleportation 'cooldown'? There's no way I'd accurately remember something like that. Whatever, we're neighbors right now. She could just pop in there and say- Oh right. Can't use telepathy to say anything to me.
Well, she'll figure something out. I'm going home, today has been a complete disaster and not the way I was hoping it'd go. I was really looking forward to being a side character that would be able to peacefully watch the shenanigans of the main cast.
Being immune to most Saiki's powers completely shattered that notion. Maybe Kusuke can analyze those samples and make soemthing that could that could restrict Saiki's powers? She'd probably like that.
Speaking of the main cast, there's one now, the entrance ceremony must be over since there are a bunch of people walking around the campus. Kaido something, can't remember his given name. Let's try to make a friend.
"Yo, Kaido right? How's it going?"
"Whu? You're talking to me? It's um, fine?"
Okaaay. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting. Where is his whole chuunibyou personalily at?
"You feeling alright? No need to be shy, how about we go get some food? I'll pay."
If there is one thing I remember about the original show, it's that Nendo's ability to make friends by inviting them to ramen was amazing.
"I'm not really familiar with the area so if you know any good ramen stalls, lead the way."
I try to give a winning smile and it seems effective. Maybe a bit too effective, he's looking at me like a hero.
"That.. That sounds nice. Yeah, sure. I know a couple stalls around here."
"Sweet, lead on Kaido. Hold up actually, there's someone else I wanna invite. Give me a couple minutes to find him."
Alright brain, was that Nendo screaming about CPR during the entrance ceremony? Hmm, probably? Good enough. Let's check in the infirmary. Good thing it's on the first floor of the school and near the entrance.
Coming up to the infirmary, I can here someone calling Nendo a stupid gorilla or something. Probably that Takasomething person earlier.
I slide the door open and gaze at a face only a mother could love. Well, that may be a bit harsh. He's actually not so bad looking. Might be because this is reality and such an exaggerated face wouldn't really be possible.
"Nendo! Let's go get some ramen. It's on me."
"Huh? Yeah. Let's go."
What an easygoing guy.
He was pretty silent on the way to Kaido, with only the occasional grunt of what sounds like confusion. He's staring at me pretty intently, probably trying to put a name to my face and failing since we've never actually met.
"Kaido, got the other person. It's up to you to lead us to gloriously delicious ramen. It's a joke, no need to look so anxious."
As soon as he heard anything that sounded like expectations he immediately started twitching. Poor guy, there's definitely something going on there. Maybe his mother in even more overbearing here than in the anime and manga?
"Who's this chibi?"
"I don't wanna hear that from the gorilla!"
"Ah? The chibi's insulting you."
"Nendo, he's was talking about you, not me. I wasn't even talking, plus how would I even seem like a gorilla? I'd fall over from a breeze like Kaido here. Anyway, Kaido meet Nendo. Nendo, meet Kaido. Let's all get along and become friends."
"Sounds good. Where we going, aibou?"
"Dunno, where we going Kaido?"
He gives a sigh. Looks like he's realized we're going to be friends whether or not he agrees.
"It's a couple streets away, about ten minutes or so of walking."
Closer than I was expecting. I have gotta figure out why Kaido is acting like this, maybe he's holding himself back in an attempt to make friends? I don't even see his arm wraps on.
Like it? Hate it? Wanna kill me for heresy?
Leave a review to tell me.
Minor rant below...
I decided to work on this since I seemed to have hit writer's block on my main project that I've been working on. Sadly, as soon as I started to work on this words flowed steadily like a stream. Really disappointing that the fic I want to write isn't going so well while a joke project I made while watching anime goes smoothly. Oh well.
I've been neglecting my PC(aside from playing FF14 on it) as I am still depressed over losing one of my hard drives, so my laptop and phone(s) are what I've been writing on lately. Again, expect grammatical errors, spelling errors, redundancies etc. Both big and small.
If anyone could make of list of all the errors either shoot me PM with it or include it in a review. If they wanna go the extra mile, include a list of words or phrasings that have been overused with suggestions for replacements. That's all I got. Thanks everyone for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.