Chapter Twenty–Two: There Is No Door Number Three

The sound of a car door slamming.

Loud.

Unexpected.

Damon's tunnel vision abruptly receded. The world snapped back into focus with painful clarity. The agony was staggering – if he weren't already on his knees, he'd have fallen. There was wetness on his cheeks – tears. He was crying. Klaus and Elijah were yelling somewhere off in the front yard. Rebekah was wailing and arguing with them.

Damon looked over towards the sound of the slamming door. It was Stefan, emerging slowly from his red coupe, eyes on the bickering Mikaelson siblings. A confused look was on his face.

Thank the fucking lord. Stefan'd know what to do. He'd be able to fix this.

"Stefan," he croaked. His throat was so tight, too tight to draw in enough air to speak properly.

Nevertheless, Stefan heard and glanced over. The look of confusion was rapidly supplanted by dawning horror.

Damon didn't care that Stefan hated him and wanted to kill him for stealing Elena. Damon would let him do it, gladly, as long as Elena got the help she so desperately needed. "Brother," Damon croaked again, clasping Elena's lifeless body in his arms, "help me. Please. I don't … she won't wake up …."

Stefan was falling to his knees in front of Damon in a flash. "What happened?"

"She's – Rebekah …. It was the magic - I couldn't – I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop her. She was too fast." His eyes pleaded with his brother to understand. "What do I do? Please, Stefan, please god, just help her."

Stefan gave Damon a deadly serious look in return. "I need you to think, Damon. Has Elena had vampire blood in the last twenty four hours? Is there any chance that she might … come back?"

"No," Damon whispered brokenly. "I couldn't get it to go down. I tried." The blood dribbling down her chin attested to that. "I swear that I – wait." She had ingested vampire blood - last night. His blood. "Yes. She did." A balloon of hope rose in him, so huge it threatened to carry him away. "She did have blood. Mine. Last night, when we were - " - having sex. He froze, eyes darting tellingly to Stefan's. If looks could kill, he'd be a goner.

Stefan glanced away first, towards the wildly gesticulating and shouting Mikaelson siblings still arguing on the lawn, then down at Elena. "It's not safe here. We need to move her inside."

Yes. Right. Damon needed to get Elena as far away from here as possible. He rose unsteadily to his feet, still cradling Elena in his arms with the utmost tenderness, holding her close. She was so light, a fragile, precious bundle. She could almost be sleeping, he thought, chest squeezing in pain.

There was never any question of where to take her. He didn't even have to think about it. He carried Elena inside, through the front door, past the front parlor room, the library, down the hall and up the stairs to Stefan's room. Laying her down gently on the spacious bed, he draped a blanket over her, doing his utmost to make sure her head and neck looked comfortable, wincing when they still didn't look quite right.

He brushed some hair out of her face, so at least that wouldn't bother her, the tips of his fingers lingering along the soft lines of her jaw. Her face was strangely peaceful, as if she'd found release from all her sorrows in this life.

He would trade places with her in an instant if he could, if it meant she'd still be alive. Without reservation and without regret.

He backed up from Stefan's bed, and only then did he finally take the time to wipe away the moisture from his eyes.

He became painfully aware that Stefan was right next to him, glaring. Damon blinked and peered at his brother bleakly, remembering one of Elena's last wishes – that he tell Stefan the truth.

"Stefan …." Damon cleared his throat, unsuccessfully. "I didn't compel her. For … you know, that. I never did. I never would …. Not ever. Not for … that. I swear."

As he spoke, Stefan just looked at him like he was something vile and repulsive – a look to which Damon was very accustomed. When he finished speaking, Stefan walked away and sat down beside Elena, taking her hand in his as he waited for her to wake up.

It didn't need to be said out loud that Damon wasn't welcome anymore. He'd stolen his brother's girl, slept with her, and then let her get killed. He deserved every bit of Stefan's censure. In fact, it wasn't fucking enough. He left the room, drowning in guilt and self-recriminations and soul-shattering grief.

He made his way to the library and paced in tight circles in front of the unlit fire place. Waiting for Elena to wake up as a ravenous creature of the night was its own new special brand of torture. He felt like a husk of a man. His heart was completely gone, a gaping hole, a shell, nothing left but utter devastation. He didn't care what happened when she woke up – if she blamed him for not protecting her. If she changed her mind and wanted Stefan back. Even if she hated him forever. It didn't matter. As long as she did wake up. God knew, he could bear any eventuality if she'd just wake up.

He was still pacing a furrow into the rugs when Bonnie, Caroline, and Jeremy showed up. Stefan must have warned them about what was going on, because they made no move to approach Damon, instead rushing upstairs to visit Elena and ignoring him completely.

Which was fine with him.

He didn't know how much more time had passed, but something caught his attention. He ceased his pacing and spotted Rebekah gliding from the shadows towards him, a shifty lioness on the prowl and clearly up to no good.

At the sight of the blonde Original responsible for Elena's death, he instantly saw red. A burst of pure homicidal rage erupted, expanding, cramming into every molecule of his being and propelling him forward across the room, his arm outstretched to grab Rebekah by the throat so he could squeeze until her head popped off and her blood rained down all around him in a glorious red waterfall.

Unfortunately, Rebekah deflected him with blatant ease, shoving him roughly up against a bookcase hard enough to make him see stars and for some enormous tomes to topple over onto their sides with resounding thuds and puffs of dust.

"You have some nerve," he rasped. It wasn't easy to speak around the forearm she had pressed firmly to his throat.

"Before you say anything else," she snapped, "I'm here to apologize." After releasing the pressure she was applying to his neck, she stepped back. One hand went to her hair, a cursory swipe to smooth everything back into place. "I don't know what came over me earlier; Nik just has this way of making me So Angry. You know how aggravating brothers can be."

He rubbed absently at his throat, lips forming into a savage snarl, baring razor-sharp teeth. Nope, he didn't know anything. Fuck her. He glanced from side to side. "Klaus and Elijah?"

"Gone. For now. Anyway, I'm sorry for hurting your girlfriend or whatever she was to you."

Retracting his fangs took every ounce of self-control he possessed. "Murdered. You murdered her."

"Right." He felt her studying his grief, revealed now that his vamp face had receded. "I do regret killing her, if it helps."

"It doesn't." She sounded contrite, but her eyes were clear, cold, and psychotic. Probably very similar to his at the moment.

"Oh." She sounded disappointed, like she'd really thought saying that might somehow help. "Well, she'll be missed. This has all been … very sad."

"Elena had vampire blood in her system," he informed her.

Rebekah's face brightened. "So she's okay? Wonderful. That means she'll be coming back soon."

"In a manner of speaking."

"I am sorry. Will you tell her that? After she awakens."

Damon just stared coldly at her.

"And please tell her that my house is still open to her for her party, and I promise that my family and I won't be there. If there's anything else I can do to make amends - "

"There isn't. Who's Mikael?"

Rebekah shifted her weight to one foot, hand on her cocked hip. "Heard that, did you?" She did not sound pleased.

"If this is something that could put Elena in danger, you owe it to her to tell us." He wasn't sure if he believed Rebekah's remorse over Elena's death, in fact he was pretty sure he didn't believe it at all, but just on the off chance any of it was genuine, he'd play on it if it would get him the information that he needed.

Rebekah's pouty mouth turned into a sullen moue. "He's a vampire hunter that's been after my family for centuries. His sole purpose in life is to rid the earth of us."

"Gotta admit, I like the guy's mission statement. But so what? One measly vampire hunter? I've killed dozens."

Rebekah smiled slightly, even as all trace of humanity left her eyes, replaced by a remote, almost reptilian look. "Not like Mikael, you haven't. He's the Original hunter, he's immortal, and you better hope he stays far away from you and Elena and all of your pathetic little friends, because he'll kill every single one of you. Mikael is a pitiless monster who cannot be stopped."

"No need to sugar coat things on my behalf," he joked, trying to play it off, but her words chilled him to the bone. If an Original vampire was afraid and had been terrorized for centuries by this hunter …. "But seriously, how does that make him any different from you and your family?"

Rebekah drew herself up. She'd come to apologize, but she wasn't going to stay for abuse, even if it was well earned, in his opinion. "Mess with Michael at your own peril. Klaus says he's here, so a little advice – you and girlfriend should go on a nice holiday as far as away from here as you can. Please tell Elena what I said about her party."

Blue eyes peered dangerously at her through hooded lids. "Scram before anyone else sees you. You're not welcome here."

Rebekah vamp sped away, basically evaporating into the air.

Only a short while later, Stefan interrupted Damon's pacing.

"Is she awake?" Damon asked hopefully.

"No, not yet. Something's wrong." His brother's green eyes were lined with concern.

"What do you mean something's wrong?" That made Damon intensely nervous. "For fuck's sake, Stefan, don't keep me in suspense over here."

"Elena hasn't woken up yet." Stefan spoke slowly, as though speaking to a child. "She should have woken up by now."

Damon couldn't breathe. His lungs ceased to expand. Did she not imbibe enough of his blood? Maybe she hadn't. Oh, what if – what if – what if! He couldn't stand this.

Stefan continued. "Bonnie says she can feel her, Elena's definitely still in there, but it's like she's resisting. Or hiding. It's like she doesn't want to wake up."

Damon grimaced. "She doesn't want to be a vampire."

"She never did," Stefan replied softly.

"But if she doesn't wake up soon, she'll die." Damon looked at him incredulously. "What're you waiting for? Strap on your Hero Hair, and go save her!"

"I already tried."

"What happened?" Damon asked impatiently.

"I couldn't find her."

"What do you mean you couldn't find her? She has to be in there! Bonnie said so." He glanced desperately at a clock. "Time shouldn't be up yet."

"It's your turn, Damon, to try and reach her. This is up to you."

"What? What do you mean it's up to me? No, it is not up to me. Did Caroline try?"

Stefan shook his head.

"Let Caroline try! That girl has the tenacity of a perky, pink pit bull when she sets her mind to something. She'll drag Elena back to where she belongs by the scruff of her neck if she has to."

Stefan stood there for a long moment, looking uncomfortable. Which was making Damon uncomfortable.

"You're older and stronger than Caroline," Stefan finally said. "Elena's bonded with you, and she responds to you in ways that she doesn't with me. You're the one who needs to go. You have to convince her to come back to us."

"But she … but you – Stefan, you're - "

"Not the person she's in love with anymore."

Damon stared helplessly at his brother. "I didn't mean for this to … I never wanted for this to ….."

Stefan pivoted and started walking away. "Elena needs you. Come on."

Damon followed Stefan back to his bedroom, and there he found Elena looking even paler and smaller than when he'd left her a few hours earlier.

"What's he doing here?" Jeremy exploded.

"He's here to help," said Stefan, putting out an arm to restrain the advancing Gilbert.

Damon approached Elena and sat down beside where she was bundled up in Stefan's bed. He took her hand, so small and frail in a way that it never had been when she was alive and awake. If they waited much longer, she'd be gone for good.

"Wait, you're allowing this?" asked Caroline. "Stefan - "

Stefan cut her off. "He can do this." When Caroline looked like she was going to protest more, he added, "I don't like it any more than you do, but we might not get many more chances at this."

Damon ignored the people arguing around him, ignored the panic bubbling up within him. He knew what he had to do in this ruthless race against time. He focused on Elena, closing his eyes and reaching with his Power, stretching through the barrier of her mind like a cautious feeler poking through especially viscous Jell-O, seeking the spark that was Elena's essence. It wasn't easy – she was buried in an awful lot of darkness. He struggled to connect, to find a piece of her that still remained.

At first, there was nothing, but he kept trying. Not just because he didn't want to disappoint Stefan and all of Elena's friends, but because he couldn't bear it if he lost her. It was a thought too terrifying to comprehend, and his mind shied away from it.

Not going to happen.

But no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find her. He couldn't find anything. He was unable to count the passage of time in this silent, empty place, but he knew too much had gone by already. Despair welled in his heart, threatened to sabotage his efforts. He concentrated once more with manic focus, casting his Power as far and wide as he could, and just when he feared he'd have to give up and all was hopeless, he found her, a glimmer of light that still burned faintly in the darkness. He hurried close, touched the warm and soothing light, was rewarded with a soft landing. He sank straight through the fuzzy whiteness with ease. It was like coming back to life. His vision returned, blurry at first. Sound and touch came second.

He was … walking. In the Gilbert family home. Up the stairs. He came to the top step. Just a few feet down the hallway and he'd be right outside Elena's bedroom door. It was cracked, so he knocked once, a rap of his knuckles, and pushed gently on the door with two fingertips. It creaked open, and he saw her. She was sitting on the cushioned ledge beside her window, arms wrapped around her legs, cheek resting on the top of her knees as she gazed out the clear glass. She was wearing jeans and a cute blue top. She looked like she'd just come home from school.

She was breathtakingly beautiful.

The simple relief at seeing her, at knowing that there was still some part of her that he could save, sent a surge of relief through him so powerful it defied words.

At the creaking of the door, she glanced over. She looked so utterly sad. Her brown eyes tore his soul to pieces as they glittered with unshed tears. When she saw who it was, she smiled softly. "Hey."

A small smile formed on his own lips. "Hey, you." He walked over and sat down beside her. The tips of her sneakers almost touched his thigh.

God, it should've been Stefan. He should be the one here right now. He'd know what to say, how to reach her and convince her to come back. How was he going to do this?

"You know," he began, "everyone's really worried about you."

Her gaze returned to the window. She was silent for a long time. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

His heart fractured even more at the look on her face. He'd have willingly died a thousand deaths to spare her from even having to think about making this difficult choice. "Sort of, but if you wake up, then you don't have to be. We really need you to wake up, Elena."

Her gaze fell lower, to the tops of her knees. "I'm afraid."

"It's going to be okay. I promise."

She shook her head very slowly. "I don't want to be a vampire, Damon."

"Listen, everyone, Caroline, Stefan, me, Bonnie, we're all gonna help you. You can do this. You won't be alone."

"What about Jeremy? He'll think his sister's a monster."

"No, he won't. He'll be glad he doesn't have to pick out another casket. Elena, please, you have to wake up." Time was running out. He'd never felt such an extreme loathing for the passage of time.

"But what if he can't love me like this?"

"He will."

"What if you can't?"

A moment of extreme disbelief. She couldn't really be worried about that. "Not even a remote possibility. You won't get rid of me that easily. Human or vampire, I love you either way." He held out his hand, palm up. "Please take my hand, Elena. Please come back with me."

She bit her lip. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You are the strongest, bravest, most incredible person I have ever met, and you can do this. You can do anything." When still she hesitated, he said, "Being a vampire isn't all bad. There's good, too. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then, let me show you. Take my hand. That's all you have to do. And afterwards, I'll be with you every step of the way. You won't have to go through this alone. Please, Elena, I'm begging you."

She started to reach for him, and his heart leaped with joy, but then she hesitated, hand hovering over his. "What happened to me?"

His lips flattened into a grim line. "Rebekah happened."

"Oh." She drew her hand back.

"The magic amplified the anger she had for her brothers into a killing rage and she became the tool it used to restore the balance of nature. No more doppelganger blood to make hybrids." He let out a sound of cynical amusement. "She actually tried to apologize. Can you believe she wanted me to tell you that you could still have your birthday party at her place, and she promised not to be there? I told her to get bent."

Elena smiled. "Of course she can still come."

"Wait." He blinked. Twice. "Are you fucking serious?"

"It's not her fault she was used that way. She's as much of a victim as I am. Of course, this assumes I'm even still having a party. Do you even need to celebrate birthdays when you're dead?"

"Unbelievable. You're completely insane. I can't believe you're giving her a pass. And yes, you're absolutely still having a party, but only if you come with me."

She looked toward the bedroom door, opened to the rest of the house, then back to him. "What if I don't remember the way back?"

He extended his hand again. "We'll find the way together."

She inhaled deeply, closed her eyes, squeezed them tight. Then, she let out a reluctant laugh, opened her eyes, and placed her hand in his. He grasped it tightly, his fingers gripping hers with reverence.

"I'm really glad you agreed," he said, "because I was about to just throw you over my shoulder and haul you back with me whether you wanted to go or not."

She gave him a look, affectionate and judgy at the same time.

"Don't let go," he warned.

"I won't," she promised.

Elena's bedroom dissolved into darkness.

Damon's eyes opened first, so he witnessed Elena's lashes fluttering once, twice, then slowly lifting all the way to reveal dazed and dilated brown eyes. Her breasts rose and fell with her resumed breathing. The sound of her heartbeat triumphantly, gloriously filled his ears.

The sweetest of sounds.

"Where - " she tried to say and had to stop to swallow and bring moisture into her mouth. "Damon?"

"I'm here," he assured her. He still had hold of her hand, which he squeezed reassuringly.

"Elena!" Caroline shrieked and launched herself onto her friend. "We were so worried!"

Elena laughed groggily and wrapped her arms around the weeping girl. "I'm fine, Caroline. Well, except … I'm really, really thirsty."

Caroline's sobs turned to hiccuping laughs. Bonnie, Jeremy, and Stefan had encircled the bed.

"Totally normal," Stefan said. "We've got blood bags to help with that."

Seeing as how she had an entire village present to help her deal with all the powerful emotions and urges that were going to come along with the transition, he slipped out surreptitiously.

Needing to be close, but also needing his space, he fetched some freshly dried laundry and absconded with it upstairs to his bed and started folding. And thinking. About what was best for Elena.

How did she see him now? He wanted all of her … but only if she truly wanted all of him. And what were the odds of that?

He heard her coming from a mile away – how the old wooden floorboards did creak. But he allowed her the pretense of sneaking up on him. Just as the scent of lavender and sunshine on bare skin reached him and his body began to respond to her nearness, Elena said sweetly, "Be still my heart."

He turned and found her appreciatively watching him fold laundry, looking like nothing so much as a sexy, mischievous naiad. He smiled, more delighted than he could say that she was up and about and looking well despite the traumatic changes her body had just gone through. Very, very well. She seemed to glow with health. He knew how strong she'd be feeling, how alive and powerful and invincible, as a newly turned vampire that had just fed. Sight, touch, hearing, emotions, all heightened to an almost unbearable degree.

She had always been the most beautiful girl in the world to him, but now she was tougher and stronger, and the thought did excite him. He longed to see what kind of games they could play now that Elena was a vampire, too.

"Hey," he greeted her. He finished with the bed sheet he was arranging and set it down.

She wrinkled her nose cutely. "I have to admit, when I went looking for you, this is the last thing I imagined you doing."

"What – did you think this house cleaned itself?"

"Now there's a thought."

He gave her a teasing look. "Yeah, I wish. Bunch of filthy animals living in my house. Someone has to be the responsible adult around here."

She laughed and came closer. Her sweet scent consumed his senses. "Um, whose house is it? I believe my name is on the property deed."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Also, if you're the responsible adult, then we're all in trouble."

"That's what I keep saying." He faced her fully. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. Amazing, actually. I drank some blood." Her face wrinkled in disgust. "Blood bags. It's gross that it wasn't gross."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"I had no idea it would be like this. Everything is so … much more. And I … I wanted to share it with you." She stepped closer, a bit uncertain. "I was afraid you'd left. No one knew where you were."

He felt a teensy bit bad. "I figured you had plenty of people around to help."

She closed the space between them and reached up, gently touching his cheek. He couldn't help but to slightly lean into her caress, a balm to his tortured soul, soaking up her nearness like a cat basking in the sun. Her eyes were so warm and full of affection that it wrung his black heart helplessly.

She smiled.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just thinking that all I have to do is get into some serious trouble, and you're there to help me out. You've always been there for me when I needed you. So, thank you for that." She stood on her tip toes and kissed him chastely. Her lips were warm like sunshine, seductive and sweet. He felt her small, adorable smile when she whispered, "Thank you for saving me. Again."

He shrugged nonchalantly. "It's what I do."

A sudden spike of pain as she nipped his bottom lip. "At least now I'll be a lot harder to kill."

"There is that. See? Being a vampire isn't all bad. There are some perks."

Her eyes darkened, pupils expanding. "I'm ready for you to show me those now."

He began to spider walk his fingers up her back beneath her shirt. Her flesh broke out in goosebumps. "Showing you would be a lot easier if you were, hmmm, even closer."

Her smile grew, and there was such a gleam in her eye that an excited shiver raced through him. She kissed him, a kiss that was pure fire, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, melting against him like warm honey, all curves and pliancy. She couldn't seem to get close enough.

As for him, he couldn't touch enough of her. Her lips were soft and pink, and her blood was red hot and pounding beneath her skin. He could scarcely believe she was whole and in his embrace. His hands moved over her back, up to her neck, down her back again, then even lower to cup her ass and hold on tight. He could smell her arousal, her eagerness to fuck. It was spinning him into a dizzy and slightly breathless state, as if she were a drug, an aphrodisiac buzzing through his veins and overriding any and all good sense.

But wasn't that kind of their thing? Wild, reckless, explosive passion, a cataclysmic force of nature that swept away any vestige of common sense or self-control? Of course it was wrong for him to be with her, but who cared when she felt so good and he loved her so much?

He remembered how happy he'd been just this morning to wake up with her in his bed, before all this crazy stuff happened and he wanted to feel that happiness again … but only if it was real.

And as long as this was still what she really wanted.

Because how could he not wonder? She'd said she loved him … but how could she really mean it? She didn't understand what she was doing, who she was committing to. He was a monster, and this, Elena dying and turning into a vampire, was all his own stupid fucking fault. She'd been right next to him when she died, and he hadn't been able to do stop it.

Fuck!

He should be experiencing this moment fully with his heart and his body, where nothing else existed but her, that's how he wanted to experience it, but he couldn't shut his brain down. The damn thing kept intruding and ruining the moment.

If only kissing her didn't feel so incredible. He craved her so much, the way a sinner craved absolution, but …. Goddammit, why did there always have to be a but?

Because he had to be certain this was still what she really wanted.

It was definitely what he wanted. He had had all sorts of crazy, desperate thoughts about how to make a relationship work with her. Sex – they already had that aspect covered. In spades. Everything else …. Not so much.

In his heart of hearts, he knew he'd never deserve her. It wouldn't be long before she figured that out, too.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Sensing the subtle change in his kiss, she gave his bottom lip a firm, arousing nip, bringing his attention back to her, and frowned up at him. "What's wrong?"

He tried to force a smile. "Nothing." Dear god, he could see the tips of her sexy new fangs. He wanted to feel them on his cock.

"Okay, good, because I can't stop thinking about how much I want your hands all over every inch of my body. Watching you fold laundry turned me on more than I ever thought possible."

He grinned and waggled his eyebrows playfully. "Just wait until you see me in my French maid outfit."

With a laugh, she nuzzled into his neck, lips pressing against the pulse of his heartbeat, sucking the patch of naked skin just below his ear. A slight graze of those little white fangs. He couldn't contain a groan.

She might have recently downed some bagged blood in order to fully transition, but he knew all too well that would've done little to sate her true hunger for the fresh stuff straight from the vein.

If she wanted to bite him and drain him dry, he was totally going to let her. His dick got even harder at the thought.

She started nibbling his chin, pressing kisses along his jawline, kisses that set his soul on fire. She found his lips again with an undeniable urgency, and he allowed her to push him backwards without protest until his legs hit the bed and his knees folded. They fell back together into the tangle of unfolded sheets, which puffed up around them, soft as a freshly scented cloud.

She was on top, hands sliding over his hard chest, her hair falling down around them. He was below, a true believer gazing up at the beloved face of his goddess. Her sweet, musky arousal teased his nostrils, let him know how hot and wet she was right now.

Fuck, he wanted to fuck her. It took all his willpower not to tear the clothes from her body.

She wiggled on top of him, clearly eager to feel him inside her.

Screw it. He was going to fuck her. Jumping on the short-term gratification train was probably an impulse he should resist, but then again, he was the king of not resisting impulses. It was kinda his thing. And Elena was kinda his girl. Right?

He would wait until after. Then, he'd bring up his concerns. Yes, that's what he'd –

No.

If he waited until after they had sex to tell her what was bothering him, he'd be the worst sort of bastard.

When she tried to lick her way into his mouth, and he hesitated, her head reared up. "Is it just me or are you not into this?"

"What? No, I am! Totally into this. And you." he protested, "Always. See?" Some seriously sweet friction was generated when he rolled his hips, pressing the prodigious proof of his desire up into her tenderest of flesh. Oh, how easily they could get tangled up in these sheets together, if his stupid brain would just shut up.

"Then what is it?" she asked. Her eyelids were heavy with desire. "And don't say nothing."

He opened his mouth and a small empty sound came out.

She immediately lifted off of him and stood up. "Tell me."

He rose to a sitting position, his jeans unbearably tight. Jesus, how the fuck was he supposed to properly explain himself? And why the fuck was he trying to again when he could be playing sexy games with Elena instead? Oh, yeah, because he a fucking brain-dead moron.

Somehow, he found his voice. "Elena, before you came in here, I was doing some thinking."

"Uh oh. That's never good."

He smiled a small smile at her joke.

Seeing his lackluster response, her humor faded. "Say it."

He sighed. This was going to be a doozy. "I'm just not sure if –if right now is the best time to - " No, don't say that. "Maybe we should wait a little bit before we …. Maybe we should wait a little bit." He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "You know."

"No, I don't know. Damon, I don't understand."

"Elena … it's just that I, I mean, we can't. Er, we shouldn't. Yet, that is."

"What do you mean? Why not?"

He found his gaze dropping to the floor. "Everything's different now."

"That's not true. Nothing's changed. The way I feel about you hasn't changed. Damon, I love you."

"Elena," he said very slowly and gently, "you died. Everything is different now. Everything you're feeling and going through is going to be …."

"Magnified?"

"Yeah," he said, a little surprised she'd filled in the black so accurately.

She noticed his surprise. "Stefan's only used that word like a billion times already."

"Well, then, if my brother and I actually agree on something, it must be true." When she rolled her eyes, he reached out and drew her close, between his thighs. "I think we should just take a little bit of time to sort through all of these new feelings you're going to be going through to make sure this is really what you want."

She gazed down at him. "This?"

"Us."

"You don't want me any more?"

The pain in her eyes twisted sharp knives in his gut. "No!" This was on him. He should've realized she'd swing to an irrational emotional extreme, given her volatile newbie vampire state. "No, of course not. That is not what this is."

"Really? Because that's what it feels like. You don't want me like this. You don't want me if I'm a vampire." She covered her mouth, as though to conceal the fangs that had long since receded. Her pulse fluttered wildly in her throat as her distress increased.

Nope, not letting her think that. He took her hand and pulled it from her face. "Elena, I'd still want you if you were an ogre-zombie hybrid with three heads and wearing nothing but a potato sack. I love you.I love you with everything I am and everything I will ever be. I can't imagine ever feeling this way about anyone ever again, and if I had my way, I'd spend the rest of eternity with you. I just want to take a little time and make absolutely certain that this - that I'm still what you really want. A lot has happened in the last few days, and your emotions are going to be all over the place. Believe me, I know."

"You think I'm going to change my mind. That's why you're breaking up with me." She sounded disbelieving.

The thought that she might suddenly come to her senses and realize what a horrible mistake she was making with him might've maybe definitely certainly crossed his mind. "I am not breaking up with you, Elena." To be honest, he hadn't even been 100% certain they were officially a couple or anything.

"Don't you see what you're doing?" she pleaded. "Whenever anything good happens to you, you think you don't deserve it, and you try and ruin it. Please don't ruin this."

He tried his very best not to visibly wince. Was that what he was doing? He thought for a moment, then quickly and cynically concluded, so what if he was? Whatever the reason, the unvarnished truth was that she was better off without him. Period. "I'm not ruining anything, Elena. Things are different now. A few more days in the grand scheme of things won't matter, and if you still want to be together, then," he gave her what he hoped approximated an encouraging smile, "then we'll have forever."

"I chose you, Damon, and I stand by my choice."

"Then a few days just to be sure shouldn't make that much of a difference."

She crossed her arms and stepped back from him, looking bleak and sad. "I guess I've earned this. Why wouldn't you think I'd change my mind? I've never given you any reason to think otherwise."

He shrugged helplessly. "I just want what's best for you, Elena."

Her eyes were glassy with unspilled tears. "You promised you'd help me through my transition."

"That's one thing that hasn't changed. You can always come to me for anything."

She let out a small sound of disbelief. "Okay." Pressing her lips together until they turned white, she looked anything but okay.

His heart fucking shattered, especially because it was his fault. He rose from the bed and reached for her. "Elena - "

She moved away before he could touch her. "Somehow, I'll prove to you that I'm not going to change my mind."

Looking hurt and lost, she vamp sped out of the room before he could respond.

Huh. Well, she was certainly getting the hang of the whole vampire thing rather quickly. He couldn't contain a certain sense of pride.

Because he was proud. He was fiercely proud of her, for surviving the transition from human to vampire, for acclimating to her new powers so quickly, for her resilience and grace in the face of an untenable situation.

Of course, along with this pride came dismay. He wanted to go after her, to follow her, to take her in his arms and make love to her until the rest of the world ceased to exist, to prove to her that his love for her was so beyond any and all mortal limits that she didn't have to worry ever.

But instead ….

He stayed put.

Sigh.

He was a dumb-ass.

Just then, his phone decided to go off. He almost ignored it and went back to folding sheets, but at the last second, he pulled it out and took a quick look.

Immediately, he wished he hadn't. It was just one simple text from a number he'd hoped to never hear from again - Care to make a deal with the devil?