Catharsis Quest
Fret sat alone on the couch in his apartment. In front of him, cold noodles and a slice of cake – small, but classic, white icing and small strawberries packed with flavour burrowed into it. No writing, not much decoration outside of the finishing touches. Simple. Low-key. And only slightly lonely-feeling this year. Fret just couldn't lie to himself, that broth from Glutton 4 Gluten seemed just a bit saltier this time around. The awkward food metaphor he concocted in his head caused him to chuckle. He wasn't going to indulge in self-pity, but he just couldn't deny part of him wished he had bothered to tell the Twisters it was his birthday today. While everyone nattered away in the group chat about what exactly the preparations for Neku's birthday tomorrow would be, Fret just gave assurances and sat in silence. Rindo was well aware of why this was. For the couple of years they'd been friends Fret only ever made him aware of his birthday after the fact, when it was already over. Rindo apologised for missing it, of course, but Fret didn't really care. On the odd occasion his mother was home these small little party-for-ones (or twos) were more than enough to satisfy him. Or maybe he just told himself that.
There was a certain jealousy that crept into the back of his mind when the gang began talking about preparations for Neku's big day. First birthday in the RG for 3 years and, unless the wandering fragments of Shinjuku's inverted population were good conversationalists, probably his first with other people for a long, long while. He began to understand just why this was so big a deal. Didn't stop him from grinning and bearing it though. He knew for a fact Rindo had remembered this year – he'd even mentioned it to him when they were hanging out at the STREAM a few days ago. But what he didn't know was whether Rindo was withholding that information from the others for his or for Neku's sake. His phone buzzed and he took a definitive slurp of his noodles before picking it up.
_18:28_
[Shiki]: Just checking everyone is still good for tomorrow?
[Beat]: yea
rhyme is to
[Rindo]: shoka says she is
[Nagi]: Need you even ask?
[Fret]: You know it! (followed by a sticker of a Chocobo in a party-hat, something Rindo had gifted him a year or so ago but had occasion to be used until now)
[Rindo]: oh hey ur active fret
couldve fooled me
not to drag ur ass in the gc or anything bt do u even bother reading ur messages?
[Shiki]: Seems someone's in trouble haha
Also obviously yes :)
[Beat]: fight
fight
fight
fight
[Fret]: Man, you guys are so mean to me. Lay off the Fretster :(((
[Nagi]: Perhaps if you responded to your messages in a timely manner, this conversation need not occur.
[Rindo]: ok fine i probably shouldnt do that
not on ur birthday at least
[Fret]: Thank you, my man.
[Beat]: what
[Shiki]: what
[Neku]: what
[Shoka]: what
[Fret]: Rindude did you just make Shoka get her phone so she could continue that lameass joke?
[Rindo]: maybe
[Nagi]: Tosai. How come nary a soul in this chat has been made aware of this information before?
[Fret]: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
surprise?
[Nagi]: … (uh-oh, Nagirl was busting out the ellipses. This was bad.)
[Shoka]: so are we supposed to do smthn now or?
[Fret]: please dont
[Shoka]: oh
sorry i asked
[Shiki]: :(
[Beat]: man
come on youre cool enough to have us celebrate youre bday
[Fret]: Kinda what I was worried about in the first place
[Neku]: ?
[Fret]: Doesn't matter.
By now, a separate conversation was springing up on three fronts. Neku, Nagi and Rindo were all vying for his attention. Neku to ask if he had been an inconvenience or somehow deterred Fret from telling everyone (he hadn't). Rindo to ask if he was out-of-line to mention that to everyone (he wasn't). And Nagi to ask if she could help at all (she couldn't).
_18:35_
[Fret]: hey I really mean it
don't go beating yourselves up over it
I chose not to tell you guys so its not like it matters
[Shiki]: Matters to me :(
[Neku]: Hey man, I get there was probably a reason you didn't tell everyone but could we celebrate properly next year?
[Fret]: Sure
Just
Didn't want to inconvenience you all this time around
[Nagi]: Nonsense. It would hardly be an 'inconvenience' next time and it certainly would not have been this time, either.
The conversation pretty much ended there. After a few more reassurances that Fret was not allowed to celebrate alone next year, particularly from Neku and Beat, alongside a few choice words from Shoka about his mindset, Fret decided to return to slurping his noodles and focusing back on the banal mid-2000s K-drama being beamed from the television. What did Shiki see in those things? Just because Nagi managed to get Fret into a fringe interest with EleStra did not mean Shiki had the power to make lightning strike twice. And seeing the complicated unfurling plot of the protagonist's brother's ex-lover's parents barring the fake-marriage-that-had-developed-into-true-love continue in the 16-episode season, the sky seemed clearer than ever. He tipped the contents of the takeaway bowl in front of him down his throat and let out a hearty sigh before sinking into the sofa. The cake could wait another hour or two. Another buzz from his phone. A text, from Rindo. The earlier messages he'd been talking about in the chat earlier all begged Fret to spot him 500 yen… for some reason. He was guessing FanGO but wasn't sure. The string ended with an "i swear if ur slurping cold noodles in the dark like last yr man", a sign that perhaps Fret was a bit more invested in that dumb drama than he cared to admit.
_18:56_
[Rindude]: hey nagi nd me r coming over to ur place
[The Fretster]: huh wait what why
[Rindude]: i mean u can always tell us not to nd well back down
but i think we both know what your answer is gnna be (Damn that Rindo, he'd gotten way better at reading him in the past few months.)
[The Fretster]: I mean
yeah
it'd be nice
[Rindude]: and dont worry
ur not inconveniencing us or whatever
besides, shoka just left my place and nagi is
well nagi lives with tomonami is prbably the nicest way to put it
[The Fretster]: So whose evil scheme was this?
[Rindude]: mine
but nagi was super worried after what u said in the gc
and besides this way u dont gotta worry about being a burden on the others
itll just be us three
[The Fretster]: uh
thanks, man.
Really I mean that
Could you thank Nagi for me too?
[Rindude]: nah u can do that
wouldnt want to steal ur valour or whatever
[The Fretster]: funny
but I will
Fret slumped down. That whole conversation had made him super tense and he was half-sure he was blushing. He felt his ears burn against the cushion they'd sank onto. He was definitely blushing. After sending a thank-you text to Nagi, one met by a long, wordy string of texts about how this was important for his well-being and capped off with a chibi Tomonami giving a thumbs up (in turn met by chibi Shirō gesturing the same back). He lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling. His first thought was how damn good those noodles were. His second, the one he was avoiding, involved Neku and just what was going down tomorrow. He knew it was big, but it really seemed like only Shiki and Beat knew the full details at that moment. He kept thinking about how big it could be, how much ceremony and celebration would surround it and how distant it all seemed from convenience-store cake and bad TV. He'd done it to himself, of course. There was no right to complain and yet… that same jealousy gnawed at him. Subtle, but not ignorable. Had he kept it under wraps because he hadn't wanted to celebrate it in such a long while? Or was it because he knew that whatever they'd do for the occasion wouldn't match what they had in store for Neku – and rightfully so? The thought tired him out. Tired him out so much he began to feel his eyelids sink over his eyes. He had about half an hour before Rindo would arrive at Futako-Tamagawa. And besides, it was his birthday.
Fret awoke to his doorbell ringing. He threw himself upwards with a start and rushed to the door, patting his hair down all the while to negate the nap's effects on it. "I'm on my way!" he called out, stumbling over his own feet. He threw open the door and saw Rindo standing there in his usual get-up.
"Hey man," he said. "Happy Birthday. Feels kinda weird saying that, though."
" Rindude!" Fret wrapped his arms around his best buddy in bear hug, but didn't have the strength to swing him around.
"Ack–! I, uh, glad to see you too?" He said, being crushed slightly but still being able to return the hug.
"Come in, come in," Fret gestured to the inside of his apartment.
"I'd enter if I could after you crushed my ribs…" Rindo said, shaking himself off for a brief moment. "Just… augh… you been hitting the gym with Beat or something?" He entered and slipped off his shoes.
Now that Rindo was indoors, Fret kept watched for Nagi but noticed something else. Or, well, could now notice now he was past the elation of someone giving a damn about him. It was night outside. As if sensing his confusion, Rindo chimed in "Oh, yeah, Nagi pestered me to make a stop with her on the way here. Sorry we're a bit late."
"Where is the Boss, anyhow?" Fret asked him, staring out into the rise opposite his and the black sky surrounding it.
"She's just coming up now. She took the stairs." Rindo informed him. "Can I sit?" He called out.
"Uh, sure. Dude, you're my friend, not a vampire." Fret called back. "Still, taking the stairs? I never took Boss for a masochist. Though I guess she does hate elevators."
"This whole table is a mess, man. Could you at least clean up before you conk out?" Rindo let out a loud sigh before moving a few
"How was I supposed to know the noodles'd make me that sleepy? And how'd you even know I napped to begin with?"
"Your hair's a bit… sticky-uppy." Rindo said, struggling to find the right words. "Anyway, you should clean. You know the Boss hates messes." Fret suddenly found himself motivated to clear away.
"I will, when she gets here." His words seemingly summoned Nagi, as she walked with heavy steps onto the landing from the steps.
"Hi Nagirl!" Fret let out, chipper as ever. She could only manage a weak raise of her arm in response. He felt kinda bad, seeing her drenched in sweat like this. Such were the disadvantages of living on this high a floor. She thumped her way down the corridor until she reached the door to take a breather.
"S-Sorry…" she gasped out. They did their typical greeting – touching fingertips to fingertips, palm-base to palm-base. "We come bearing gifts, Lord Tosai! My itabag feels far heftier with them contained inside, however…"
"Feel free to head inside, Nagi. And thank you." Fret's voice lacked the upbeat tone it usually had, and Nagi took notice, smiling at his sincerity as she entered.
Fret stared out once again into the dark. He was glad to be born in April, when the nights came just at the perfect time and were still and cool. No-one wandered the lamp-lit streets beneath him. Everything in Tokyo seemed not to want to disturb the peace this night had brought. It was an abrupt peace, accompanied by the hum of fluorescents above him and the chatter of his friends behind. Silently, he thanked the universe, and returned to the warmth inside.