The sun is hiding behind the clouds. He's sitting as still as he can on a chair on stage behind Frugi. A fly is crawling on his arm. He shakes it off, and it lands on his leg.
He keeps his face perfectly still, or thinks he does. Watching the recap later, he'll realize he was scowling, like all of 12 had done him a great injustice.
Frugi speaks into the microphone, "Ladies first!" and walks over to the glass bowl containing the girls' names.
At least he won't be mentoring Terra. Suddenly, his scowl lifts, and he looks at the group of boys. He immediately looks straight forward again, off into the distance, while a terrible battle with rage and fear swirls and upsets his insides. The feeling is so potent, it locks up his chest and he stops breathing. His friends. His friends. Any one of them. Ash, Manon, Cav, Lex. Or one of Terra's friends, his brother's friends. Even his little cousin, Ember, who had just turned 12 this year.
He realizes he didn't hear the name of the girl. He starts breathing again, but he's certain he's about to pass out. His vision is going flickery and dark around the edges, like he's being surrounded by the shadows of butterflies.
The girl who comes up on stage is Seam, through and through. Dark hair, gray eyes, olive skin, and shabby clothes. He thinks her name is Trudie. He remembers her from school, but they weren't in the same class. She's 15. Haymitch is starting to gain a new appreciation for how young the Hunger Games contestants really are. It's always been upsetting to see the 12 and 13-year-olds, but he had always had a feeling that those 14 and up had a fighting chance, one they didn't usually take.
Frugi is pulling a name out for a boy. She walks to the microphone. There's a buzzing in his ears, and each one of her footsteps is punctuated by a beat of his heart. He can't help it, he closes his eyes, tries to block out the whole horrendous thing, certain he's being watched and ridiculed for his weakness by all of Panem.
"Bennet Heep."
Haymitch opens his eyes again. Bennet is from his year in school. Not a friend, but certainly not an enemy. And even if it was one of the ones he despised, the merchant kids who beat up Seam kids for money or food they don't have, he doesn't think he would have been ecstatic to see them killed in the arena either.
He thinks of some of the mentors he's seen on television over the years. Victors who have had to show up to almost every Games, watch kids they know go into the arena, sometimes nieces and nephews, sometimes their own children.
Haymitch can feel sweat on his brow, pooling in his armpits and trickling down his back. The day is hot, but his sweat is cold. He thinks he's going to be sick.
Then Frugi is taking him to a car. They wait for the tributes to have their goodbyes. Frugi tries to tell him what will be expected of him as a mentor, but it's clear he's not listening and she stops.
On the train, he sits at a table with Trudie and Bennet across from him. The three of them stare at each other in silence until the food and Frugi arrive. They all dig in, except Frugi, who says something about watching her figure. What that could possibly mean, Haymitch neither knows nor cares.
He wonders if she'll leave, or if he'll have to come up with a tactful way to get her to leave the three of them alone. He doesn't think he can mentor with an audience.
The tributes give up on cutlery, and are stuffing their faces as fast as they can. The sound of chewing and smacking, and a few pleasurable burps, fills the room. Frugi excuses herself and leaves.
"Finally," he says, and Trudie and Bennet look up.
"All right, listen up. When we get to the Training Center, some Capitol citizens are going to 'remake' you," he says, holding up his fingers to make air quotes around the word "remake". "This means you'll be naked in front of strangers. But don't worry," he says, a smile forming that puts Trudie at ease a bit, "They're so strange, it's not embarrassing."
This is an outright lie, but maybe if they go in thinking it won't be humiliating, it really won't be for them.
"Your stylist will have some god-awful coal miner outfit for you to wear. Just keep your heads up and stay on the chariot.
"Today is the easy part. Tomorrow is training. Everybody thinks they'll master a sword in three days. You won't, so don't bother." Bennet frowns. Trudie has stopped eating, she's so desperate to hear every word. "They'll have different stations that are actually useful. How to make a fire without matches, edible food and bugs – pay attention to that one. It will give you some clue as to what the arena will be like."
He's quiet for a second, trying to recall everything about his time last year in the Training Center.
"Once you think you have a handle on the basics of survival, go ahead and try some physical training. Eat light breakfasts, so you don't puke on the training floor. But feel free to chow down at night, put some weight on before the arena. Any questions?"
Trudie looks at Bennet, and then they both shake their heads. Trudie resumes eating. His own appetite is still unsated, so he tucks in, too. Bennet lets out a long, loud, raspy burp, and Trudie protests, and he and Haymitch laugh.