Hesh's eyes flew open as he regained consciousness, but the sudden brightness of the room was simply too much for him. He inadvertently let out a whine as he squinted his eyes, his head pounding louder than his heart rate. Where was he?

But then he heard his father shout next to him, and it all came rushing back. There had been barely any time between Merrick's comment about something feeling off and then Riley barking like crazy, and then, the attack. The bang of gas canisters hitting the ground all around them, emitting a green, sweet smelling gas. Hesh had been thankful that Elias remembered to tell Riley to hide, because all he could think of was his brother. He had turned towards Logan only to see him collapse to the ground, Hesh managing to get by his side before he too also fell, his hand resting on Logan's ankle.

Hesh attempted to open his eyes further, wanting to take in the situation they found themselves in, but his vision was cloudy, fuzzy. Suppressing another groan, Hesh leaned back, taking in the non-visual cues. He was sitting on a hard, wooden chair, his hands tied tightly behind him with a thick, rough cord. His legs were free though, which he found odd, but he didn't try to move them around, didn't want to draw any attention. All he felt was general muscle pain, likely due to the gas, or perhaps the symptoms of a concussion. Relieved to not find any new bullet holes or broken ribs, he continued to focus on his father's voice, unable to avoid the flinch when he heard his dad grunt in pain.

His vision slowly cleared, the fuzzy blobs becoming recognizable figures. Elias was tied in a similar position as he was, directly on his right with Logan on his left. But Logan wasn't awake yet, his head hanging, body slumped in the chair. Hesh frantically looked over his younger brother, relieved to not see any further injuries. He was slightly jealous of his brother's current state, half-wishing that he was still out too.

Rorke was standing in front of his family, staring directly at Logan, his hand caressing his side arm. Several Federation soldiers stood by, ready for any command, and Merrick was nowhere to be seen.

Hesh thought he knew fear. But nothing prepared him for the fear he felt in that moment, for his family.

xxxxx

Hesh was on autopilot. He had been called into the office and told that he had to go take Logan out of class, that his dad was on his way to pick them up. Some sort of emergency. Hesh knew that whatever was going on, that it wasn't going to be good, but he also couldn't let Logan pick up on his concern.

Instead he tapped his foot impatiently, as Logan took forever to get ready to leave. Logan had to change into his outdoor shoes, and then he got his arm caught in his jacket, which Hesh helped him to fix, nodding at appropriate times during Logan's chattering. Hesh ignored the odd looks they both were getting from the teacher; whether it was due to Logan actually talking, which he rarely did around people he wasn't comfortable with, or out of pity, he honestly didn't give a crap.

"Do you think we can get some ice cream on the way home?" Logan asked, Hesh forcing himself not to roll his eyes. Logan's sole focus these days, other than Lego, was ice cream.

Hesh started to shuffle Logan towards the exit. "Let's wait and see what Dad wants first, okay?"

Later that evening, Hesh held a sobbing Logan in his arms, their father pacing up and down the hospital hall as their mother coded in the next room. He wished they had gone for ice cream after all.

xxxxx

"David? Your brother had an accident at school. We tried calling your dad, but there was no answer. Can you go pick him up?" The secretary said politely, having pulled Hesh out of class. Hesh nodded, heading towards his locker to grab his car keys and jacket.

His dad was away for work, so he wasn't surprised when they got ahold of him instead. Not too concerned as Logan was a bit of a klutz, he took his time getting to the middle school but then wished he hadn't. Logan was sitting on the cot in the nurse's room, the nurse carefully cleaning a big scrape on his forehead. But it wasn't the scrape that drew his attention, it was the way that Logan was all hunched in on himself, trembling….like he was scared.

"What happened?" He asked, louder than what he intended, causing both Logan and the nurse to jump. "Sorry, sorry," Hesh said in a quieter voice, signing along with his voice. "Logan, what happened?"

"I want to go home," Logan signed back, wincing as he reached for his jacket. Hesh nodded, thanking the nurse on their way out and helping Logan to the car. It wasn't the best car, an old Jetta, with a few too many miles on it, but it helped get the two of them around town when Elias was away. He helped Logan into the passenger seat, frowning again at Logan's groan of pain, the way he wrapped his arms around his ribs defensively.

Not expecting to get an answer from Logan anytime soon, he was surprised by a tap on his shoulder before he could shift the car into gear. "I need to tell you something," Logan signed, but he looked hesitant. Hesh turned off the car and shifted in his seat, fine with waiting until Logan was ready.

"I'm gay."

xxxxx

"Hesh! Hesh! I made it!" Logan shouted, catching up to him before he entered the barracks at Fort Monica. Hesh had already been in the army for a year at that point, and he wasn't surprised at all that his brother made it through basic. He was an excellent marksman, possibly even better than himself, not that he would ever tell Logan that though.

"That's awesome," Hesh said, nodding at the soldier at the entrance to let them both through. "Did you get your assignment yet?" He half hoped that Logan had been assigned to one of his teams, so that he could keep an eye on him.

"Yup, helping you guys out with the recon around the wall. I'll see you bright and early tomorrow," Logan signed, smiling in response.

"Hey, hey," Hesh said, grabbing Logan's shoulder and pulling him into a hug before he could disappear to tell their dad the good news, even though he probably already knew. "Now, not too much drinking at the celebration tonight, I've heard your leader can be a stickler for rules." He added with a chuckle, sending Logan off with a pat on the back.

xxxxx

The discharge of Rorke's pistol and Logan's shout of pain unleashed Hesh's anger as he let out a series of vitriol threats to Rorke. He no longer felt fear, he just felt rage. So when Rorke made the comment that he hadn't even started with Hesh yet, he just spat in his direction, trying to call him on his bluff.

Then everything went to hell and he found himself losing time again.

The next time he woke, he had a pistol stuck in his face. He should have been scared at the pressure of the cold metal on his forehead, but that wasn't what terrified him the most. The bosses' orders to leave the younger one alive had ice running through his veins. So when he heard Keegan's shot, he didn't even think, he just reacted.

He wasn't able to save Logan from the pain of losing their mother, from the homophobic bullies at school, from watching their dad be killed in front of them.

But he could save him from Rorke.