Chapter 4: Shyness

Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.

Doramen's heart pounded so hard he feared it would burst out of his chest. He couldn't stop thinking about last night. He'd finally figured what the strange feelings were— he had a crush on Doraemon. It was still hard for him to believe that it was really happening.

Although it pleased him to know that he had found love, it also scared him a lot. Just thinking about Doraemon made him want to curl up in the nearest hiding spot and never come back out. He felt overwhelmed with shyness, as usual when it came to crushes.

How on Earth am I gonna be able to spend time with Doraemon, now that I have a crush on him? I'll just want to run away…

Since his shyness made him want to get away from Doraemon, he decided to sit somewhere different. His heart felt like it was going to explode at the mere thought of being around his crush. He yearned for it, but at the same time he was afraid of it.

In an attempt to distract himself, he pulled out some homework and forced himself to try and do it. It took a lot of willpower for him to take his mind off Doraemon, but he was able to get one worksheet done. As he was about to start working on the next one, he saw someone approaching him.

Doraemon!

Panic suddenly flooded him. He wanted to run away and hide, but his body was frozen. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get himself to move. His body sat there in terrifying silence as Doraemon got closer and closer.

Doramen could see Doraemon's face now. The yellow robot cat didn't look very happy, which made Doramen's conflicting urges grow stronger. Doramen badly wanted to flee in fear of getting yelled at, yet he wanted to stay in case his crush was upset at something else and was coming to him for comfort. He helplessly watched as Doraemon sat down across from him.

"Doramen," Doraemon greeted softly.

Doramen felt his face heat up.

"D-Doraemon," he replied.

"Can I ask you something?" Doraemon inquired.

Icy fear washing over him, Doramen nodded.

"Why didn't you come hang out with me and Doralien? Are you mad at us?"

Doraemon sounded sad, not angry. Doramen suddenly felt guilty. He hadn't even thought about how Doraemon and Doralien would feel about him avoiding them.

"I… uhh… I just wanted… some alone time…," he murmured awkwardly.

Doraemon paused before responding.

"Are you sad? I can go get Doralien if you wanna talk to him about it."
Doramen's heartbeat soared. Doraemon was genuinely concerned about his well-being.

Doraemon is such a nice and thoughtful cat… I guess that's why I fell in love with him. Because of school we haven't had much time to get to know each other, and here he is offering to fetch Doralien so he can cheer me up! Even though I'm not sad…

"I-I appreciate the offer Doraemon, but I'm not sad. I'm…."

Doramen trailed off for a moment, trying to come up with an excuse.

"I'm trying to get my homework done before I actually go home, and I think I would concentrate better alone," he said quietly.

Doraemon blinked at him.

"Oh, okay. Sorry for bothering you."

The yellow robot cat turned around and went back the way he came. Doramen watched him go, his heart immediately calming down. At the same time, he felt a pang of guilt.

I lied to him! What kind of friend am I?

….

"Okay everyone, this is a group project!"

Doramen's heart lurched at the teacher's announcement. His gaze immediately drifted to Doraemon, who sat on the other side of the classroom. The yellow robot cat had his attention fixed on the teacher.

Doramen felt his heart start to race. He knew Doraemon would come to him so they could work together. Shyness still had a tight grip on Doramen, however. He didn't want to work with anyone.

His shyness was fighting an equally strong sense of fear. He was afraid that "rejecting" Doraemon would hurt his feelings. The thought of upsetting Doraemon made him feel awful. He wanted to spend time with Doraemon to make him happy, but he also wanted to work alone so he wouldn't have a meltdown.

I'd rather embarrass myself in front of Doraemon than make him sad…

When the teacher dismissed everyone to get into groups of two, Doraemon immediately headed towards Doramen. Doramen's heart pounded so hard he was sure the whole class could hear it. The student beside him got up to join their own group, leaving a perfect spot for Doraemon to sit. Doramen forced himself to be still and smile as Doraemon sat down.

"Hey Doramen. Ready to get this assignment done?" Doraemon asked cheerfully.

Doramen's smile grew bigger without him even realizing it.

"You bet I am," he answered.

The two robot cats waited in silence for the teacher to pass out the assignment to everyone. Only one person in each group was allowed to have a copy to make it easier for the teacher to catch students not working. When Doraemon received his copy, he set it on the gap between his and Doramen's desks so they could both read it.

As Doramen, who had calmed down, leaned forward and started reading, his face suddenly felt warm. He glanced beside him and nearly had a heart attack. Doraemon was looking down at the paper, his face only a few inches away from Doramen's. Their cheeks were almost touching. Doramen could have sworn his heart leapt into his throat when he realized he could see Doraemon's fur. His heart started racing once more. He forced his gaze down back on the paper and used every bit of willpower he had to focus on reading.

"Umm…"

Doraemon's voice snapped Doramen out of his thoughts. He looked up at his friend, who returned his curious gaze with one of great concern.

"Doramen, are you okay?" Doraemon asked quietly.

Doramen was silent for a moment.

"Of course I'm fine!" he answered briskly.

"You sure? Your eyes are really wide, and you sounded like you were breathing really fast… I was worried you were panicking."

Doraemon sounded really worried. Knowing that they were so close, Doraemon could hear his breathing only made Doramen feel worse. He suddenly realized that Doraemon was probably right about the panicking.

"I wasn't panicking!" he denied. "You're just… just... just…"

His words got caught in his throat. He wanted to tell Doraemon that he was overreacting or worrying too much, but he didn't want to insult his crush. At the same time he couldn't come up with anything "softer" to say and ended up getting stuck in his sentence like a broken record. Instead of trying to finish his sentence, he shut his mouth and went silent.

Doraemon stared at him, only growing more concerned. Doramen spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"Just… pretend this never happened."

Doramen grabbed the assignment and turned in his seat until his back was facing Doraemon. Doraemon sighed softly and leaned on the back of his seat, patiently waiting for him to read the paper.

Doramen struggled to read the instructions on the assignment. His mind was racing after everything that had just happened. No matter how many times he read through the instructions, the information left him immediately. As if he wasn't stressed enough, he could feel Doraemon's gaze burning in his back. It made him even more on edge knowing that his crush was waiting for him.

How am I gonna tell Doraemon that I don't know what to do? It shouldn't be so hard to read a few sentences! It just goes in one ear and right out the other. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this… I can't, I can't, I can't!

He shot his paw into the air. The teacher walked over to where he and Doraemon were sitting and asked what he needed help with.

"Actually, I just need to use the bathroom," Doramen announced.

Once he received a bathroom pass, he dashed out of the classroom. Doraemon watched him go, speechless. Doramen ran down the hallway and into the bathroom. He leaned against the wall and covered his face, trying to calm down. In the empty, echoey room, he realized that Doraemon was right. He was breathing really fast. He never even noticed.

Groaning, he uncovered his face and paced back and forth. He tried to focus his mind on the sound of his echoing footsteps and let that calm him.

I can't believe I started freaking out just by sitting next to Doraemon! I've never felt like this before. My heart won't stop pounding… I feel like it's going to explode if I spend another second with Doraemon. He didn't even do anything to me! Why did I react like that?

He stopped pacing and looked at himself in the mirror, immediately answering his own question.

"It's because I love him, isn't it?" he asked his reflection.

He shook his head, dismissing the thought.

"No," he told his reflection. "It's because I really love him. More than anyone I've ever met."