Author's Note: This was written for the "Justice for All, Happiness for Two" zine, a zine dedicated entirely to Phoenix/Maya works! Please check it out at the Tumblr URL "narumayo-zine", because there is a lot of great art and fic in there made by a bunch of talented people who deserve your appreciation! If you're a fan of this ship, you'll have a great time, I promise!
But yeah, this ship really does mean a lot to me. It's the first OTP I've ever had in my life, the first ship I've ever sought out fanfiction for, and even though my interest in Ace Attorney had faded a bit over the years before returning with a vengeance over quarantine, these two dorks and their relationship still remained really near and dear to my heart. That's why I'd really like to thank the zine runners for giving me the opportunity to FINALLY write something for them, after more than a decade of not having enough guts and executive function to do so!
I hope you enjoy it!
Maya had gotten the idea the morning after her first night at Phoenix's apartment. Phoenix had been lost, then, standing at the stovetop as he tried to remember how Maya liked her eggs.
Maya, meanwhile, having dressed herself in one of his old shirts, was poking around the place without a care in the world. She was busy inspecting all the detritus that a bachelor his age had somehow accumulated over the years. Make no mistake, he would have cleaned up if he had the time, but Maya being Maya had given him no warning before inviting herself over. He hadn't cared about the mess then, in the heat of the moment. Or much of anything else, really.
But now color was rising on his cheeks as she looked at the old sketchbooks he had on the kitchen counter (he couldn't bring himself to throw them away), the cup full of used paint brushes by the sink (he had outright forgotten to throw them away), and the massive jar of popcorn kernels his parents had sent him for Christmas... seven years ago? That long already? It was still two-thirds of the way full.
He was about to apologize for the mess when Maya's eyes widened. "Wow, Nick, you have an oven? Even in this tiny place?"
Phoenix blinked. "Yeah," he said, "but—"
He was interrupted by the sound of clanging as she opened it wide, sending the various pots and pans stuffed inside it clattering to the floor. "Nick!"
He winced. "Sorry, I just use it as an extra cabinet. I never really had the time to figure out how to bake with it."
She pouted at him, puffing her cheeks in that adorable way of hers, even more so since she was wearing nothing but his shirt. "Don't you know what this means, Nick?"
"I'm a slob?"
"Well, yeah," Maya admitted, and while Phoenix was recovering from that shot to the heart, she continued, "But don't you see? With an oven, we can make buns!"
Seeing the look on his face, she smirked. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Nick. I meant that if we can make buns, we could make burgers! From scratch!"
Of course this girl thinks of burgers first thing in the morning. Phoenix couldn't help but smile. "That seems a bit hard to do."
"Nope!" she grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "It's easy, trust me."
"You've done it before?"
"Nope!" she chirped.
Oh Maya.
"Really?" Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "I thought you of all people would at least know how-"
"Of course I do!" Maya said. "It's just that, well, Kurain doesn't exactly have top cooking facilities. We're not that much of a baking village either," she sighed. "Can you imagine? Twenty-six waterfalls, and not a single oven."
"You could've just bought some buns at the store," Phoenix pointed out. "They even sell pre-made patties in the frozen section. All you need is the vegetables and the condiments and you're golden."
"But it's not the same," Maya wailed, flopping dramatically on top of him, and Phoenix was very suddenly aware that she really was wearing nothing but his shirt. But Maya didn't seem to care as she clung to his torso, and he had to wrap his arm around her back in order to keep them both from toppling over. "I always thought, well, if I'm going to go through the effort to make burgers at home I might as well go all the way, you know?"
"All the way, right..." Phoenix muttered, failing to resist the urge to take in the scent of her hair.
They continued like that for a while, swaying in their impromptu hug, when Maya looked up. "So, can we do it?"
Phoenix immediately turned bright red. "Wait? Here? Now?!" Again?!
Maya laughed, giving him a light flick on the shoulder. "I meant the burgers, you dirty old man."
"Oh," Phoenix fought to remember what Maya had actually been talking about. "Right. That. Yeah, we can do that."
Maya sighed happily into his chest. "We can make a whole date out of it and everything," she said. "Dinner with fresh homemade burger we made ourselves..."
"Maybe with a movie too," Phoenix added, "Wasn't there that new Steel Samurai movie you wanted to see?"
Maya's eyes widened, then she slowly grinned. "You know what, Nick? Sometimes you do have good ideas."
And that was how Phoenix ended up standing in front of his kitchen counter a few weeks later, arms completely covered in flour as he prodded at a ball of dough.
Nearby, Maya tipped an ancient-looking meat grinder into his refrigerator. It looked old and rusty enough that Phoenix had wondered if he would have to defend Maya again for a robbery charge this time. But no, she had apparently carried it all the way from Kurain, struggling with it as Phoenix met her at the station.
"Pearl helped get it for me," she had explained as Phoenix took on her burden. "It's not like we eat meat much at Fey Manor, so no one else in the house would be mad if it went missing for a week or two!"
"So you did steal it?"
"Well..." She had shuffled guiltily. "Okay, Pearl did. But you should've seen her, Nick. As soon as I told her what I wanted to do with it, I had to stop her from carrying it all the way herself!"
Phoenix sighed at that mental image. He had no doubt that Pearl would have taken every opportunity to watch him and his "special someone's" new relationship, but given that Maya was alone on the train, she must have worked a few of her miracles to get Pearl to leave him and Maya alone that afternoon.
After all, this was supposed to be their first real date, wasn't it?
Phoenix looked at the ball of dough again. It was somehow still sticking to his hands, even after he had gone through half the bag of flour. There was flour all over his shirt and pants and completely dusting the floor near his feet. He had never baked bread before, and even with Maya's surprisingly clear instructions he had no idea if he was doing it right or if what would come out of the oven would be an inedible mess, let alone something resembling a burger bun.
But he still had to try, right? That's what he always did. He just hoped Maya would be happy with the result.
The dough was proofing, so Phoenix now had time to kill. He was helping Maya cut up the meat for the burger patties. Maya had decided beforehand that she would be the one to handle the meat and he would do the buns. With her being the resident burger fanatic, Phoenix decided to bow to her expertise.
"Wow Nick," Maya giggled as she slit open another package of meat. "I didn't expect you to actually get every cut I asked for."
"Your shopping list was very specific," Phoenix said. And very expensive too, he didn't say. He didn't have to. It was Maya. What did she ask for that didn't end up hurting his wallet?
"Yeah, but I would've understood if you had cheaped out. This looks really good." She said, holding up the hunk of raw meat. Her eyes were wide and Phoenix swore that she was actually drooling. "How'd you even find this, in the middle of the city?"
Phoenix scratched the back of his head. "Ah, just looking around?" And a lot of awkward conversations with several butchers.
In hindsight, he could've just saved the energy and gone to his usual grocery store. But on the other hand, he didn't want to. It was Maya.
"Really? You must be some kind of wizard, Nick. A sorcerer. A spirit meat-dium!" she cackled to herself as Phoenix rolled his eyes. She then nudged him with her arm as she tipped a bowl of chopped-up meat cubes into the grinder. "Hey, bring me along next time, will ya?"
"Of course," He smiled back, taking the empty bowl from her. "Our second date, then?"
"Yup, that would be fun." Maya nodded, then suddenly smirked. Holding up a cube of meat as she turned to him, she said. "After all, it's not every day I get to handle your meat, huh?"
Phoenix blushed bright red. "Maya."
Maya whistled innocently as she tossed the cube back into the grinder, turning the crank with her other hand as she ground the meat into a bowl. "How's the bread going, by the way? Did you do a good job kneading my buns?"
"Shouldn't you be seasoning that?" Phoenix pointed out another bowl of cubed meat, desperate to change the subject.
"Huh?" Maya blinked. "Oh, this? You're not supposed to season it until it's ground."
"Really?" Phoenix was skeptical. "Now, I don't cook much—"
"You sure don't."
"But— hey, —I thought you were supposed to season things a lot. Before you cook them. So they, you know, actually taste good?"
Maya's eyes brightened. "Oh! That's the thing! If you salt the meat before grinding it— lemme show you— where's your cast-iron— ah, here we go! So if you season the meat first—"
"What are you doing?" Phoenix asked, bewildered, as Maya lit up the stove.
"Demonstrating!" Maya said, reaching for the salt as she clumped the meat together in her hands. "Look, I did the research. Now, for burgers, you're supposed to only salt it after you make it into a patty."
"Why?" Phoenix stood back, as Maya had taken over the kitchen in a flurry of movement. Patties hit his cast-iron skillet with a loud sizzle, and he abruptly became worried for his apartment's fire alarm.
"Because if you do it before, then the texture gets all weird! Burger patties are supposed to be crumbly and tender, not like a hockey puck made out of meat rubber." Maya tipped two cooked patties into a plate. "Now hold that tray up."
"Huh?" Phoenix only had time to pick it up before he realized that Maya was throwing a patty at him.
He screamed and raised the tray reflexively to protect his face, but the patty crumbled in midair, with only a few hot meat chunks hitting the tray and falling to the floor.
"Maya! What?!"
"Now that was the unsalted one. See how crumbly that was? Now here's the salted one—"
"Wait—" But Maya was already throwing the second one. This time, it didn't crumble, hitting the tray as a single piece with a dull thwap and falling to the floor.
"You see now? Imagine how awful the mouthfeel would be!"
"I get it, I get your point!" Phoenix panted. "Just please don't throw any more burgers at me!"
"Oh, sorry." Maya didn't look at all sorry. "It's just that I saw it on the internet, and I thought it was really cool! I can't believe it actually works in real life."
"Don't those internet videos tell you to not try things at home?" Phoenix said, picking bits of meat out of his hair.
"Not this one! The opposite, in fact..." Maya said, lost in recollection.
"You spend too much time online," Phoenix grumbled, looking for a dustpan.
"Don't look so down, you grumpy old man," Maya laughed, picking up the rubbery burger patty from the floor. "I'll help you clean up."
"Also," Phoenix said, glancing at the kitchen counter. "Weren't you going to use that meat for our burgers?"
Maya looked and also saw what he did: their meat supply, vastly reduced. "Ah... oops?"
The two watched the oven door with intense interest. "They look ready," Maya said.
Phoenix twitched, adjusting his oven mitts. "Are you sure?" The buns looked a shade lighter than he would like.
"Can't you smell that?" Maya leaned in closer and took a deep breath. "Yeah, they're definitely ready."
"I don't know, Maya, I think we should leave them in for a bit more..."
"They're gonna burn! Oh—" Maya snatched the mitts off his hands. "Just lemme get them then."
Before Phoenix could stop her, she was already opening up the oven door and gingerly lifting the wire rack full of buns out and transferring them to another rack with a pair of tongs. "See?" Maya said, "They don't look that bad."
Phoenix grudgingly admitted that she was right. They did look a lot better than he expected.
"Now, to taste!" Maya said, lifting one up to her mouth with the tongs and taking a bite. Phoenix wondered how hungry she was, given that she didn't even wait for them to cool down first.
"How is it, Chef Maya?" he asked.
Maya was still chewing, deep in thought. She swallowed, and said, "Hey Nick?"
"Hm?"
"You should quit the lawyer thing."
"Huh?!"
She looked at him, her face grave. "Come back with me to Kurain, and the first thing I'll do as Master is to make you the Official Kurain Village Baker."
Phoenix laughed. "It's that good?"
Maya took another big bite, and another, and soon she had eaten all of it and started working on another one. "Not just good," she said, "Amazing! Screw the burgers, I'd eat this on its own!"
"Hey now," Phoenix reminded her, "Don't eat all of them, we still have to-"
Maya sighed as she finished her second one. "Yeah, I know, just lemme get the patty ready." She stretched upwards, her joints popping, before walking over to the stovetop where the cast-iron skillet was waiting.
Phoenix himself took the rack and placed it near what Maya called the "final assembly station", a cutting board that contained the various condiments and toppings that would go into their burgers. After slicing a fresh bun in half, he took another from the rack and took a small bite of his own.
Wow.
Maybe Maya had a point. Maybe he should quit the lawyer thing and just run off with her to be a baker. At least he wouldn't have to worry about whipmarks and people throwing mugs of hot coffee at him.
"Hey Nick?"
"Yeah?"
"Bad news, I think there's only enough meat left for one burger."
"Oh..."
Then again, if Maya was involved, who's to say nothing else would be thrown at him? Still, Phoenix thought, spending the rest of his life with Maya... that didn't seem so bad at all.
"Coming through!" Maya yelled behind him. He stepped aside, and Maya tipped the fresh patty topped with a melted square of bright yellow cheese onto the open bun he had prepared. She then started putting the burger together with all the concentration of a fine craftsman, sprinkling on the shredded lettuce, positioning the tomato and pickle slices, and topping it all with generous amounts of ketchup and mustard.
And then it was done.
"Voila!" Maya said, gesturing at the burger. "Our creation!"
Phoenix clapped politely. "The honor of the first bite goes to you?"
"Uh," Maya hesitated. "I was thinking of giving it all to you, actually."
"Wait, really?" Phoenix was shocked. "I thought you were the one who wanted to have a burger made from scratch."
"Well, yeah, but—" she knitted her hands together. "I just wanted to thank you, you know? For going along with this wild idea I had. And spending the whole afternoon with me. I just think that's... more important, really."
She smiled at him, and Phoenix's heart melted. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, giving her a kiss on the temple.
"Hey, we can always split it. I want you to enjoy your hard work too, Maya."
"For real?!" Her eyes lit up. "Thanks!" She pulled herself out of his grip and immediately started slicing the burger in half. Phoenix couldn't help but smile at her helplessly.
"Alright!" Maya said, handing him his half of the burger. "So... to us?" she said, holding up her half.
"To us," Phoenix answered, and the two touched their halves together before each taking a bite.
If Phoenix were completely honest, the burger just tasted okay. But watching Maya happily eat her own half made it taste a little bit better.
fin.