Credits: Song Lyrics from The Night We Met by Lord Huron
Petra Rall found herself squinting at the menu board of a former diner she frequented before fleeing their town. Rewind stood in the same block as Yeager's four years ago. Only twenty-eight, she felt older and a bit sentimental noting how the late fruit smoothies or milkshakes evolved into a selection of Boba Milkteas and Popping Sodas with youngsters and college students all around the place.
"Uhm... you're holding up the line, miss." Says the guy behind the counter, detracting her train of thought. Petra almost mistook him as a woman with his blonde hair, round feminine face, and expressive blue eyes. She looked back and indeed the queue is long enough to block the entrance. Those next to her, all glaring in annoyance.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine... Have you fancied any of our drinks yet?"
"Yes! Uh - I think I'll have your best-seller"
"One Oreo cream cheese boba. Anything else?"
"And a serve of Burger with bacon and fries, please" she added.
Petra allowed him to repeat the order before paying then made herself comfortable at a particular spot in the building which she regarded like an old friend. A lot about it may be different but they at least preserved its interior's retro feel. Checkered tiles, neon lights, stools lining up the bar. That old Hollywood aesthetic in general. Her stomach gurgled from the scent of fried food and searing meat wafting out of the kitchen.
The tiny clock bound to her wrist shows 5:30. Now that the walls are out of transparent glass, the whole of Scholvien avenue is visible from her standpoint. By then, skies are dyed in hues of orange and reds. Her hometown bathed in the glow of the sun setting over the horizon. A captivating scene. One she could bask in forever.
Interruptingly, by some unknown force, her eyes were drawn to a tiny figure crossing the lane from across the street where she's at.
A child.
Everything around her slowed down on that instance and Petra's heart started beating frantically beneath her chest. The child had steely blue eyes, sharp jaws, and hair dark as a raven's. Such a sight evoked a wave of nostalgia, pain, and remorse all at once. More so, when her eyes fell on the grown man following behind said figure.
It didn't take a second to recognize who he was.
"There he is!" Nifa chirped, pointing out the window to the guy in question on the other side of the road.
Levi makes his way to the diner precisely at 5:30, as promised. Immediately, Petra felt the exhaustion of today leave her body the moment he entered the space, wind chimes clinking. Just being in his presence brought her that much delight.
Yeagers' had always been their go-to place since university days where their paths entangledpredeterminedly, as she'd like to put it. Levi was wrapping up his time in Law school and Petra was earning her Business degree while pursuing an acting career. That had been a very busy day. All booths occupied. She remembered mumbling her thanks to some deity when Levi offered the space next to him. His friends, Hange and Miche looked baffled at his kind gesture. They talked. She found him funny. He liked her and the rest is history.
"Hey." Levi called out when he got close enough. His girlfriend jumped out of her seat and into his arms - arms, strong enough to support her weight as she circled her legs around his waist. Both didn't mind that they were in public and have earned quite a number of disgusted stares. He kissed her lovingly, feeling her smile against his lips.
"Oookay, guess I'm good to go then." Nifa stood along with her purse to leave, not wanting to be the third wheel. "See you tomorrow Pet." She looked at Levi. "Take care of her."
"Don't need to ask."
When Nifa left, the couple had settled in their booth. Petra is swaddled in Levi's arms as she narrates to him what transpired this morning. Carla knew exactly what they'll be having and proceeds to preparing them the usual.
"That Dok guy's an idiot. He's scouting for ass, not talent."
A couple of hours prior, after memorizing lines and practicing for hours on end nights prior to her attending an audition last week for a certain role which she was hoping would serve as a stepping stone to finally signing a contract with Artium, Petra got turned down over the phone by one of their representatives with no good enough reason. Was just told Nile didn't want to manage her.
"They say he has the best connections in Ehrmich." She groaned in defeat "After all the work I've put into this... if only I-"
"Oi" He interrupted. "Stop right there. Self doubt is self sabotage."
"But even Hitch made the cut."
"Hitch's voice and acting is crap compared to yours. She got in with her dad's influence." and a show of her tits... maybe more, he thought but kept it to himself. "Everyone knows it. I bet Nile's gonna piss his pants hard once you make it big."
The corner of her mouth quirked a little before it turned into a frown again. Her sour mood didn't seem to lighten even as Martha finally brought their food to the table. Levi was elated when he took the first sip off his iced tea. Since becoming a regular, the Yeagers made it a point to have a decent stock of tea leaves ready at the back just for him. After all, no one else ever comes to a diner looking for tea.
"I know I'm supposed to keep having faith in myself, but my patience is wearing off. Maybe I should just give up acting and take on some corporate job. It's more practical that way."
"Dumbest thing I heard come out of your mouth. I know you better than anyone else. Being an actress isn't just some career to you. It's part of your being. Giving it up is basically losing your identity." He tilted her chin up to peck at her cheek. "You were born to act. You'll catch your big break soon."
"What's taking so long then?" She questioned pitifully. Her wide doe eyes, screaming in anxiety.
It is during these times, Levi wishes he wasn't so shit at words. This girl deserves to be reassured she doesn't suck, be constantly told how fucking great of a performer she truly is. But actions speak louder than words. He knew that well enough and so he held her tighter against him, kissing the top of her head, inhaling the lilac off her hair. He felt her ease into it. She understood.
Good.
A year later, Petra still isn't close to living her dream. She was able to work through some small supporting roles here and there, but they weren't enough to actually make a name for herself. Eventually, she thought she'd accepted her fate and landed a job at a Marketing company. Levi long established his practice in one of Calaneth's biggest Law Firms. They had their own apartment and were getting by just fine. Most importantly, they were happy. She was grateful and should've felt content with her life at that point. After all, she had a decent job, a roof above her head, and a wonderful partner by her side. But her desire to make a living out of her love for theatrics didn't falter one bit.
People say she's always been too ambitious for her own good. They aren't wrong and she doesn't see any fault in that. She looked back at her younger, starry-eyed self seeing the world in rose-colored glasses when even the stars seemed within reach. Petra told her dad she'd be famous one day, living in a penthouse in Mitras, performing before huge crowds in grand theaters all over the world. She hated herself when he died and she still didn't get to do any of that.
Two years into their relationship, Levi unexpectedly proposed, declaring his love for her on the rooftop of a fancy hotel called Fascino.
She said yes. How couldn't she? They love each other madly. Levi reminded her every single moment how blessed she is to have snagged him. Something he contradicts, insisting he's the one who got lucky.
"So, have you guys decided on a date yet?" Hange pesters them with such questions the moment word got out about their engagement
"We got engaged just a month ago. We're in no rush."
"Oh pffffft. You've been together for years. This is something you both should be very excited to get over with."
"We are excited Hange. We don't have to get married right away though." The bride-to-be chimed in.
"Alright, alright... at least give me an approximate time frame. I can't wait to have a nephew or a niece, y'know."
"Ten months tops."
"What?!" They exclaimed.
"Like I said four-eyes, we're taking our time." Levi gestured to the pizza triangles laid out closely to their side of the table. "Now, hand me over a piece of that."
"I hope your offspring won't take after you. Don't you agree, sweetheart?" They quipped at her as they accorded.
Petra smiled, wondering if their son would be a spitting image of him whose personality akin to hers or the other way around. "I wouldn't mind if it'd look or act like him. I'd find it adorable either way."
"Did you discuss names already?"
"Furlan if it's a boy. Isabel if it's a girl." Levi answered. His fiancé gaped in surprise. They certainly hadn't talked about it before but she didn't have anything against it either and simply smiled in resignation.
"Sounds lovely." Hange remarked. Their phone buzzed. One look at it and they were getting up to leave. "Sorry you two, I'mma scram. Moblit says it's urgent."
"It's fine, Hange. Take care."
"You too sweetie, looking forward to the wedding!
The Wedding never happened.
If Petra could go back in time, she'd do anything in her power to have their lives turn out differently.
"Order for Mr. Ackerman!" One of the waitresses announced.
Of all the places where you can buy food in Calaneth, apparently, this one will always be his favorite. It doesn't matter that the name has changed entirely or that Carla no longer manages the establishment, knowing how much he loved her recipes.
The child she's been staring at helped himself up a stool and grabbed the bag which contained their order.
Levi followed him to the counter. "Thanks again, Sasha." She heard him utter.
"You're welcome. We made the wings extra spicy for Furlan." The boy squealed in glee as the waitress bent slightly to ruffle his hair. "Where's Isabel?"
"She's at home with my wife."
Wife
The title sent a dagger straight to her heart. Why did it hurt so much? Hadn't she seen this coming? Petra should've been ready for something like this.
"I can't believe you already decided what to name our unborn children."
Tonight happened far more perfect than she anticipated. They both got a week off from work and made it a point to spend all that given time together. Naked on their bed at most.
"Was I ever barred from doing so?" His usual stoic mask is off completely around her. Petra loves seeing him so relaxed after they'd share a bath in the tub and made love a couple of times. The fire in the hearth crackled soothingly as it died. "I'm not naming our kids 'poppy' or some cutesy shit like I know you would."
"I don't plan on doing that!"
"Yeah?" Levi directed a finger to the other member of the household, snoozing by the doorway to their bedroom. "Why's it 'panpan' then?"
She stroke his biceps, steely with muscle. "He's different. Panpan's a dog."
"Well, sometimes, you care for your dog more than you care for me."
That earned him an eye-roll. "Babe. Don't tell me you're actually jealous of a pug."
"Tch. of course not. I get to screw you. Panpan doesn't. Speaking of which." Her fiance hooked one of her legs over his hip from under the covers, nudging the tip of his length to her opening. She gasps at the contact, feeling how hot and hard he was. "I'm up for another round."
Too caught up in her thoughts, she barely realized the subject of her reminiscing was no longer talking to someone and had actually turned... to her direction no less.
It happened faster than she was able to sense it. Levi looked like he'd seen someone back from the dead.
"Petra?"
"So... what made you return to Calaneth all of a sudden?"
The man's face stayed youthful despite his age. Still cleanly shaven, though the bags underneath his eyes are more mature. Four years passed and he still has the same haircut, still held the same intimidating aura. Despite the cold, Petra was sweating under her coat. These all suddenly felt too familiar.
🎵 I am not the only traveler 🎵
He's here... right in front of her. Just as she remembered. "I needed a break. My job is too demanding. Mitras is great but Calaneth will always be home to me."
He made a noise at that. Almost like a snort.
🎵 Who has not repaid his debt 🎵
"Something funny?"
"No...sorry. That's just so different from what you told me once. You wanted to make Mitras your home."
🎵 I've been searching for a trail to follow 🎵
Her lips curled sadly.
🎵Again🎵
"It turns out the life I wanted isn't as wonderful as I thought."
🎵 Take me back to the night we met 🎵
"When I first arrived, I ran into Hange by chance. She told me you're a member of the executive committee now."
"I got promoted two years back, finally convinced Historia I'm executive material."
🎵And then I can tell myself 🎵
He cleared his throat, subtly inspecting their surroundings. "Did Erwin come with you? Where is he?"
"I don't know." Her shoulders hunched briefly. "We're not together anymore, actually."
🎵 What the hell I'm supposed to do 🎵
"I'm sorry."
"It's alright."
🎵 And then I can tell myself🎵
Her gaze strayed to silver band on his left hand's ring finger. "So... is Anka-"
"Yeah. We got hitched three years ago." A year after you left. Some words were left unsaid.
🎵 Not to ride along with you🎵
"I see. Congratulations." She tried to sound as happy for him as she could swallowing the lump in her throat. "Listen, Levi. It may be unnecessary for me to bring this up. But about what happened before,
🎵 I had all and then most of you 🎵
"I'm really sorry... I still am"
🎵Some and now none of you 🎵
He shrugged. "It's been long enough. It doesn't hurt anymore." He eyed the little man next to him, happily playing some hand game with Sasha. "We both got what what we wanted eventually."
🎵 Take me back to the night we met"🎵
"You're right. I'm so glad to know you're doing well." Petra stated sincerely.
"Thanks."
She relished the tiny smile he had just now before they went silent for a while.
🎵I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you 🎵
"Levi!" She shouted. He kept walking... not missing a beat. "Levi, please! Let's talk this through."
He turned. Petra stopped in her tracks. She could see the anguish in his eyes as rain began pouring down on them, skies roaring with thunder.
"How long." He tugged her closer by the arm. Their faces inches apart. "How long were you two doing this behind my back?"
"I-"
"Answer me!"
"You're hurting me."
Levi let her go and brought a hand up to his scalp, gripping a handful of strands like he's about to pull them out by the roots. He looked away as his lips pursed, eyes closed in agony. Her heart ached to see him like this, it pained her even more knowing she brought it upon him. Petra yearned nothing more than to have the right words to say, undid what she'd done. But no matter what she does next, there's no turning back at this point. Levi exhaled loudly.
Next thing she knew, he had turned his back once more, not enough that she could see him remove the ring he'd worn himself on their engagement from his finger. That woke her senses up.
"What are you doing?"
He said nothing in riposte, didn't so much as glance back while he left her there alone... discarding the ring on wet grounds.
🎵Oh, Take me back to the night we met 🎵
By now, the sun had dipped entirely out of sight. Levi checked the time and started moving away from his seat.
"Gotta go. I'm taking Anka out to Fascino tonight. Need a change of clothes."
Furlan was hauled onto his left arm. "Say bye, kid."
"Bye bye." His son waved a hand at her, wearing a scowl. The boy did took after him. She waved back.
"Enjoy the rest of your evening." He mumbled.
She forced a smile. This may be their last encounter. "You do the same..."
She watched as Levi marched away from her, from their spot, where it all began. Petra thought back to their brief conversation not long ago. It had been like falling in love all over again and getting her heart broken at the same time.
Some silly part of her wanted to catch on to him just to get her message through. The words she'd been holding back since seeing him after so long.
I missed you so damn much. I wanted see you. I dreamt of being with you every night.
Memories dawned upon her as music kept playing in the background.
His written notes left on the desk, stuck to her wads of script. 'You'd do well' . 'Don't work too much.' 'I made breakfast'.
How he looked into her eyes - the kind reserved for her and her alone - full of love, of warmth, of longing.
When he held her dearly, swayed, and spun her as they danced across the threshold to their apartment.
Unspoken plans and whispers of devotion at night.
His proposal.
All the ways he'd let her know how much he loved her. When he said she's free to go.
Levi wouldn't look at her and kept his gaze somewhere else. It's been weeks and he hadn't come home to their apartment since their last... meeting.
"I received a call earlier. They said I got the role." She spoke. No reply. "This is my shot, Levi. I'm finally going to Orvud. Well, it's not Mitras yet... but close. Can you believe that?"
A pregnant pause. And then...
"Good for you." He mumbled, still looking away. "Guess that's it for us then."
Her heart panged. She had his ring clasped on her right palm. "No. We'll make it work. I can -"
Levi barked a sarcastic laugh. He finally faced her. "Am I that dumb to you, Petra? You really think I'd believe Erwin fucking Smith got you off the hook just cause you got what you wanted?"
"How many times do I have to repeat what we did meant nothing to me. I love you, Levi."
"You'll be working with him in Orvud, wouldn't you?"
She gulped.
"Just as I thought."
"What do you want me to do? I'm not missing this opportunity."
"I know you wouldn't and I will never ask you to. But it's stupid of you to think I'll sit idly by while you work with the guy you've been fucking while we were engaged."
"Levi, I -"
"Stop. I don't wanna hear it." He said sternly. After sometime, when Levi calmed down, he looked into her eyes in that endearing way she got used to these past two years. "Petra. I'm not mad at you. I should be, but I'm not."
At that, she tried to take his hands in hers but he pulled away. "Look, I get it. I don't blame you for wanting Erwin, even if just for a night." He'd always believed he's unworthy of her. That she chose her by some miracle.
"Levi, you're perfect. Please stop saying things like that."
He glimpsed at the ring he bought her, snug around her finger. Surprisingly, he leant a hand and brushed his thumb over it. "No matter what I do, I'll never be the man who can make your dreams come true." His words stung even as he brought her hand to his lips for a kiss. "So please, go and live them out."
Petra's chin wobbled. It took so much effort to keep the tears from coming. "But Levi,.."
"Don't mind me. I'll be fine."
Fool. Such folly. She let him slip through her fingers all those years ago. The pain bordering her soul right now is a retribution of her actions... her choice.
She just couldn't help it though... the tears threatening to run down her cheeks at the moment without her noticing.
"Where's the washroom?" She stood hastily from her seat, threading to where Sasha pointed to at her inquiry.
Petra shut the door as soon as she got there and sobbed and sobbed in front of the mirror.
Four years.
Four years of pondering on what became of him. Four years of rehearsing what to say just in case fate decides to cross their paths once again. Four years of craving his touch, daydreaming what would ensue once she confesses to him how she'd made the wrong call. Thinking if he'll still have her despite what happened
At least now, the answer couldn't be clearer.