Austin, Texas

11 March 1967

"She's asleep."

Closing the door behind her so they were alone in the hallway, Martha's weary expression worried him. It was late and they'd all been drinking for hours, it was time to sleep, but unfortunately sleep wouldn't magically make things better.

"Is she ok?"

"I don't know. I'll stay with her until the morning and see then. My best guess? Probably not."

Assuming as much, guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders.

He could have done more. He should have done more.

"Whose idea was it? Because it was a stupid one."

Mad now rather than sad, Martha glared at him.

"I don't..."

"Yeah, well that doesn't excuse you."

Shaking her head, she cut him off before he could clarify what she was talking about or answer based on his assumption.

"No?"

"No. You're all smart men, college educated, but you completely fail to understand women or basic decency."

"Explain to me."

Not entirely lost, he didn't follow closely either.

"Well, firstly, we're not interchangeable."

Speaking again, her comment was not an explanation.

Silent, he must have looked perplexed, because a better summary of what was going on in her head followed Martha's eye roll and headshake.

"I might have gone to bed with Tom without this stupid game had he made any effort to get me there, but as it is I went to bed with Tom because he pulled my hair ribbon out of a hat. Romantic."

Sarcastic in tone, he gathered she didn't think it was particularly romantic, and she was right.

"Nobody told us anything, so nobody knew what to expect, and by the time it came to expecting it, nobody was going to say no, they couldn't, not realistically."

Hearing her, he didn't necessarily agree, but then again he didn't have the same perspective she did, so who was he to say she was entirely incorrect?

"I guess."

"I'm right, believe me."

Stone-faced, her expression brought home what had happened. She didn't feel like she could say no to anything and she was in a state perfectly capable of addressing her feelings; Sue Ellen was in a worse state than she was, so what hope had she really had? Sue Ellen had indicated she felt very little for Alex but that hadn't mattered in the end, no one had taken her opinion seriously, not even him, not until it was too late.

He didn't think he was as bad as everyone else but he was close, he could see that. He'd been disappointed in the outcome of the game earlier for selfish reasons and even his initial reaction to how things were with Alex and Sue Ellen was one of jealousy rather than concern. He didn't believe he was capable of doing what Alex had done but he also hadn't exactly been a gentleman where she was concerned, his own inhibitions lowered beside the campfire earlier, his behaviour shameful in light of what had happened so soon after with Alex.

"Sue Ellen is going to be devastated, and an apology might not cut it."

"For what it's worth, I don't think Alex will want to tell anybody now."

Alex had been lucky to get away with a split lip, neither of them in much of a physical condition to fight working to his advantage in this situation, shamefully and fearfully fleeing the room soon after they'd arrived and made it clear they weren't there to mind their own business.

"What Alex wants is the last thing anyone should be concerned about."

"I know, but…"

Holding her hand up, Martha cut him off again.

"No buts. Alex took something from Sue Ellen she wasn't prepared to give and that's something they'll both have to live with forever."

He understood what had happened and how upsetting it was, all he'd been trying to say was that what had happened might be the extent of the wrongdoing, that she wouldn't need to suffer the discomfiture of gossip going forward because if Alex knew what was good for him he wouldn't go around bragging about his behaviour.

"We can keep it between the four of us. No one else has to know."

"You're not understanding me. Sue Ellen will know and while the concept might not matter all that much to any of us who have made the choice to live a little before we settle down in a life of domestic monogamy, it matters to Sue Ellen and she's now had the choice taken away from her."

Emphasising that alongside the physical were emotional and moral issues, Martha's words told him one thing, but his own perception told him another.

"She never struck me as that traditional."

"You don't even know her."

"No, I guess not."

He'd assumed she was just choosy, that she wasn't interested in a completely casual encounter like he was, like some of the liberated women on campus were, but from what Martha was saying, it ran deeper than that.

"You should go. I'll stay with her all night."

Opening the door to the bedroom, she didn't give him an opportunity to continue the conversation.

"Thank you."

Left alone in the hallway, he noticed how quiet the cabin was, a sign that it was more than time for him to join everyone else in sleeping.

Martha had been so kind, never having left her side, spending hours with her in the small room, but it didn't help, not really.

Soft words and gentle tending brought her some comfort, but it wasn't enough to overpower the sick feeling that stayed with her throughout the morning.

Hungover, from the alcohol and the little crushed pill that had made its way into her drink, her stomach would have been a mess even without either of those things.

The only thing she was grateful for, if grateful was even a word she could use when thinking about what had happened, was that she couldn't be pregnant, that was a complication she truly couldn't have dealt with had it been a possibility.

She didn't remember much, entire sections of the night before missing, but she believed Martha and she believed what her body was telling her.

A small stain on the dark sheets, her discarded clothes on the floor, general achiness, and the remains in the wastebasket were further evidence, things she didn't want to acknowledge but couldn't easily distance herself from.

They were to stay at the cabin for the weekend but she wanted to leave. She wanted to run away and hide where no one would find her, but she couldn't. She could barely find the willpower to leave the room let alone organise her way back home.

Home.

She meant the sorority house, not her mother's house, although she didn't imagine being back on campus was going to be much fun anytime soon.

Alex was everywhere. He haunted her even when he wasn't physically there and she couldn't stand it.

Bobby had supposedly dealt with Alex, but still, unless he was gone, really gone, he'd never be out of her life.