Austin, Texas

3 April 1967

Watching Sue Ellen from afar as she and the other girls practiced their cheer routines, Bobby had gotten a different impression of her than he'd had before, and now, standing beside her outside the gym afterwards, his perception of her was different again. Martha had been right, he didn't know a thing about her, and he couldn't help but believe he'd blown any chance of finding out.

"I wanted to apologise."

The first to speak, he said what he'd come to say, scared that if he didn't state his intentions straight away he never would.

"Funny, so did I."

Smiling, she was warm to him, surprisingly warm considering their previous interactions in weeks past.

"You? Apologise? What for?"

"For staying quiet, for letting you stay under suspicion for longer than necessary because I couldn't face reliving the night again."

Referring to his time in questioning, her smile disappeared.

"But you did eventually help me, you must have said something that corroborated my story and you did get the blood test to prove I wasn't lying. For that I'm grateful."

"It was the least I could do, I know that now, but it took me a little while to figure out."

Pale and unable to make eye contact with him for any longer than a couple of seconds, her words sounded a lot stronger than she appeared and it was quite clear to him that it was very difficult for her to even think about that night let alone talk about it.

"You were the real victim, not me, and I didn't help. I misread you earlier in the night and I let things happen that I shouldn't have, that somewhere in me I knew were wrong before they occurred. Even worse, when I realised what a mess I'd made I was too late to save you. I'm sorry I didn't do more, and I'm sorry what I did do wasn't in your best interest."

Guilty of wanting her for himself, his motivation no better than Alex's initially, he apologised again.

"Thank you."

"I really do feel awful."

"So do I."

Looking at him, it was only by chance that he guessed she wasn't speaking only of her emotional wellbeing, catching her before she collapsed.

Assisting her to sit down, he took his hands off her as soon as he was sure she was safely seated, far too aware of how tense she was in his arms.

Waiting a bit before engaging her in conversation again, when he did speak, it was all about her.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Mhm, two things."

Nodding, she met his eye again, somehow appearing stronger than she had earlier.

"Firstly, read and listen, don't ignore what's right in front of you."

Hearing what she was saying, his guilt grew. Unfortunately, he knew exactly what she was talking about and what his reading and listening could have done to improve things a few weeks earlier.

"Secondly, I don't want you to tell people what happened, but I don't want to hear about what a shame it is that he's gone either."

Continuing, her next request was a little more challenging. He hadn't in so many words told anyone of what had occurred between Sue Ellen and Alex, but he hadn't been so quiet about his own behaviour, which may have led to a few people putting two and two together. What he certainly hadn't done was expressed his regret that Alex was gone, his own anger towards him still present, unable to be expressed as grief yet.

"It would be unfair to promise, but I can try."

"Thank you."

"Don't!"

Freezing when Clint leaned in to greet her with a kiss, she instantly regretted saying yes to his suggested plans.

Meeting for coffee after class was fine because people and daylight surrounded them, but unfortunately, getting back to where they'd been before her weekend away, evenings starting with dancing, then moving to dinner, and later likely finding somewhere quiet and private to 'talk' wasn't something she felt comfortable with anymore.

"Sue Ellen, what is it?"

Pulling back, his expression indicated just how surprised he was by her outburst.

"Nothing!"

Her heart pounding and her mind fuzzy, light-headedness made it difficult to think or even stand.

"You're raising your voice and pushing me away, that's not nothing."

"I just… I can't."

She'd made a mistake. They'd barely left the sorority house and she was falling apart.

"Can't what?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Ok, then we won't."

Attempting to understand her, unable to without any context, he made the mistake of pulling her into a hug, something she simply couldn't cope with at present, pushing him away without even thinking of how it would make him feel.

"I'm not sure that's enough."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm sorry; I think we should cool things down."

She couldn't continue, she felt she might actually die if she did.

"Why?"

"I'd rather not…"

"Are you mourning that Alex? Is that what it is?"

Not raising his voice, he might as well have, his words and tone harsh.

"No!"

The idea that she was mourning Alex was preposterous, not to mention offensive. Of course, he didn't know that, she hadn't confided in him about what had actually happened at the cabin.

"I'm sorry, it just feels like since you returned from your weekend away you've been acting strangely."

"I probably have, and it does have something to do with him, but I can't discuss it. I do not mourn him. Wherever he is I hope he's suffering as much as I am."

"Suffering? Sue Ellen…"

Touching his hand to her arm, his attempt at comfort backfired completely, her reaction not to him but to the memories he brought back.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry."

Holding his hands up to show her he meant no harm, it hit her then that he truly had no understanding of her behaviour, that she likely struck him as erratic and emotional for no good reason.

"No Clint, I… I'm sorry."

Shaky and nauseated, she didn't want him to think it was his fault, but she didn't have the energy to explain that.