"I'll be in touch, my king," said the red-haired elf as she stepped in front of the wood-elf king's throne. He stood next to his seat of power and didn't appreciate her a reaction. "I apologize for the delay. The dwarves insisted that I stay for the entire festival. I didn't want to refuse and offend them.", she added a little uncertainly. Again a time passed without any reaction from Thranduil. When he finally turned around, however, he didn't let his eyes fall on the Wood Elf in front of him, but lost himself somewhere in the winding paths of his hall. "No problem. It's been enough strife and struggle for this age," he finally replied, accompanied by a deep sigh that didn't seem to fit.

For a moment Tauriel dared to utter the words that had weighed heavily on her heart since her trip up north with the Wood Elf Prince, but she quickly dismissed the thought. It wasn't her place, she felt. She turned and started to walk when the king addressed his words to her: "Didn't you want to say something else?" Startled, the young Elf stopped in her tracks. She was visibly surprised that he was able to read this in her and it took her a moment to find an answer: "I don't think it's my place to bring this up, so please forgive me if I don't."

Raising an eyebrow, Thranduil looked at her and took a few steps towards her. Tauriel became very different. She still had her back to him, but she could feel his keen gaze on her. Frightened, she took a deep breath and didn't dare exhale. "You have turned your bow and arrows against your king and you are still alive. I don't think there's anything that can top that," he said, a satisfied grin despite the Elf's visible fear. He enjoyed triggering this in others. Better than when he was afraid. "Now breathe again and speak," he added, his tone becoming harsher towards the end of his words.

Tauriel followed the command and turned to the king. With an effort, she swallowed her tension and began, "When we saw the fortress of Gundabad, Legolas said something that has bothered me ever since." Thranduil's eyes widened instantly and his piercing stare bored deep into her. Had it not been for an almost imperceptible trembling in his hands, she would have thought the punishment for her crime in the ruins of Dale would fall on her now. She had never seen the proud elf like this before. But she also saw the unspoken command in his eyes and continued her request: "He said that his mother died there. And also that there is no grave and no memory. You were ready for gems associated with her to start a war. Then why is there such a veil there?" Tauriel's heart was racing as she finished with the question. She was breathing fast and trying to calm down again. Relieved at shedding the shadow, she feared whatever might bring it to light.

The Wood Elf King lowered his gaze and turned away from her. Softly, with deep bitterness in his voice, he said: "Because otherwise I would have lost him too." This statement hit the Elf like a heavy rockfall. Confused and unsteady, she was unable to reply or do anything. The stifling silence that threatened to fall over them was broken by the king's loud command, brooking no argument: "Guards! Leave the hall! All of them! I want to speak to the head of my guards alone!" The melody of uniform footsteps, many of them, echoed off all walls, and when all had faded, Thranduil stepped close in front of them. "I will tell you what happened, but you have to promise me one thing with your life: Legolas must never know." Tauriel nodded. An answer in words had not been possible for her. She could only imagine the heavy weight that would also weigh on her shoulders at the end of the day.

He turned away from her again and began to wander the hall. Unrest had gripped him. He had hidden what had happened as well as he could. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. But he knew if he kept silent now, it would break him. "It's been almost 700 years. As so often, orcs and other forms rose from some stinking hole. We had pushed them back on several fronts, elves, men, dwarves - all together and yet each for himself. Gundabad was already considered fallen when I led a squad to repel a last stand on the western fringes of our empire. At the same time, a small horde attacked the main gate as well, but they didn't stand a chance in either battle. But we were blind to our triumphs. Both attacks were intended only as a distraction. A handful of them managed to get inside the walls. But they didn't want to destroy or devastate anything – they wanted worse." Thranduil stopped and looked directly at Tauriel, who had followed him at a distance. She had expected anger and hate in his eyes, but the dull glare reflected only one thing - the feeling of one's own infinite guilt. The Wood Elf King closed his eyes and uttered what he had forbidden from ever being heard again: "They had kidnapped Legolas."

"He never said anything about that!" the horrified Elf cried out at the top of her voice, not considering whether it befitted her standing in relation to the king. "Because he doesn't know," the king replied, unusually cool for this conversation. Tauriel stood motionless and didn't know how to react to that. It made so little sense. She knew what battles Thranduil was talking about. They didn't go down in history, but they had a strong meaning for her, since her father never came back from it. She was just 17 years old then, but her father's face was as vivid before her eyes as it was then. Legolas was slightly older. Why shouldn't he have any more memories? She hurried to the king, who had already walked on. She must know the rest. But before she could put her questions into words, Thranduil stopped her with a raised hand. He looked at her with a serious expression: "Be patient. You're the first I've spoken to about this in over 500 years. It's all or nothing - and you already know a part, which doesn't mean nothing is not an option any more." Tauriel nodded. She understood that this was no longer just about answering the question she had asked at the beginning.

"My battlefield was more than a day's march away. The orcs would have been with him over all mountains and so my beloved queen follows them with the remaining soldiers. They soon spotted her and threatened to kill Legolas outright so they let her go. Ithien gave the enemy the advantage and followed them undetected – alone.", the Wood Elf King continued. A smile crept onto his face. Tauriel was surprised. She had seen her king smile before, but for other reasons such as superiority and malicious joy, but never with such warmth of heart. "She was very special. The only Noldor I've ever liked. She had the unique magic of taking on the appearance of forest animals. Fox, butterfly, but her favorite was the deer. But no matter what form she took, one thing was always the same – she shone white like pure starlight." The young Wood Elf trembled. Even if she still couldn't approve that he was ready to start a war because of this, with these words she understood a little more why the jewels that the dwarves in Erebor held meant so much to him.

"When I found out about this, I immediately rushed to Gundabad. I don't know what happened in the two days until we reached the fortress. When we came out of the gorge, I saw them. She had been able to free Legolas from their filthy clutches, but had been injured herself. Being so physically weak, she was unable to shift her form. She had saved herself with him on a high rock. Hold him tight in her arms. They didn't dare attack her and just wanted to wait until she ran out of live," he continued the narration. His hand was balled into a fist and his teeth clenched. The anger almost jumped out of the proud Elf's face. Tauriel could only begin to guess how much strength and control he needed not to hit anything. His body's expression changed almost immediately as he continued to speak: "The fight was not a challenge. Their ranks shortly annihilated. I got Legolas down first. I asked her to wait. she was hurt I would have fetched her right after that." Thranduil stopped again and Tauriel saw for the first time what she hadn't thought possible until that point – tears ran down the king's face. With tears choking his voice he continued: "One of the old beasts awoke. No idea why at this point in time. The dragon broke through the rear fortress, climbed up and blasted a stream of fire directly in our direction. I spun Legolas around and shielded my body, but Ithien... She was still up there and didn't stand a chance. She was on fire and there was nothing I could do. I froze as the dragon turned to attack again. A small portion of my squad charged forward, luring the dragon away. The rest of us fled and didn't look back. I never saw any of them again." The trembling that had gripped him during the last part of the story slowly subsided and he looked directly at her. Tauriel tried to read his eyes again, but she couldn't. She had the feeling that he was looking for her eyes and trying to escape him at the same time. Thranduil began to turn away from her, but then whirled on her again and said, "Your father led them."

The words hit the young elf like a dagger. Was that why he played along well with her the whole time, preferred her? Out of guilt? As compensation? She didn't know what to feel now. Time would tell. She pulled herself together inwardly, because one question was still unanswered and so she asked frankly: "But why doesn't Legolas know anything about it anymore?"

Thranduil looked at the young woman as if begging her that he had never asked that question, but he knew from the start of their conversation that it was going to end here. "We rode non-stop all the way back into these halls. I held Legolas in my arms the whole time. He looked like he was sleeping, snoozing peacefully, but he was cold. I spoke to him but he didn't wake up. I couldn't help him, nobody here could. So I took him and rode to Rivendell. I feared losing him too, but it was only when I saw Elrond's horrified look that I realized how bad things were with him and I will never forget Galadriel's words: 'It is not the body that is ill. It is the heart that suffers. The young heart has seen too much. Too much it can't understand. It must forget or it will perish miserably.' What Legolas had seen and felt had been too much. It had overwhelmed him and torn him into the void. According to Elrond, everything had already been inundated with emotion. Any memory of Ithien would have brought him back to her death and life again. There was only one possibility: he had to forget everything around her. As if he had never known her. We went back and I just told him that she died there and I won't talk about it. I'd like to keep quiet too, but if anyone had mentioned it, he would have started asking questions. Everything she had owned, everything she had made for him - I destroyed it. If he recognized any of it and tried to remember it could break the seal and tear him down again. I erased my love from my life to avoid losing what was her greatest gift to me."

Minutes passed and there were no more words. What needs to be said had been said, and before Tauriel had even ordered her thoughts, the king had returned to his former appearance and, as usual, coolly and haughtily gave the command: "Go!" She didn't even try to say anything against it, too much chaos lay in her own mind. With quick steps she hurried out of the hall, out of the walls into the vastness of the forest. Slightly out of breath, she came to a halt, and as she searched for direction, her gaze met something of beauty never seen before. There was a deer less than 20 meters in front of her and she could only murmur: "Radiant white like pure starlight." She wanted to say something, but no sound escaped her throat. The stag lowered its head briefly as if to nod and then disappeared into the dark green thicket of Mirkwood. Tauriel's lips curled into a smile and a tear ran down her face. Besides the shadows, there was also the light.