An: Many, many thanks to Yen for helping make it through this year and this story. She is a blessing and more.

Trying to Come Back to Normal

Severus wrapped a towel around his waist and picked up the compact mirror. He checked the ring, expecting it to be darkened even with both of them at Hogwarts, and wondering if he should tell Harry not to message him. 'But … I'd be concerned if he didn't. He is staying out of trouble, but if he didn't have a way to talk to me, a chance to get answers when he has questions, what would happen?' Flicking it open, his heart speeding up, he waited to hear what his troublemaker had done now.

"Severus, I was wondering, do you think we could take our NEWTs with everyone else? Or at least try them? If we studied all Holiday and then worked hard the rest of the school year, do you think it might be possible?"

The mirror went dark. 'Less information than normal, but a solid question.' Holding back a sigh, Severus activated the compact and started drying himself off.

"Good morning, Harry. I should tell you, and still expect you to do so, to speak to Professor McGonagall as she is your Head of House," he knew his tone wasn't as professional as it should be, but he'd never hid his sarcasm from Harry before. He dropped the towel, summoned his shirt over and shrugged it on. Starting with his cuff buttons, he continued, "But since you asked my personal opinion, I will give it to you. I think Miss Granger will be ready without a doubt. You and Mr Weasley I am uncertain about." He started on the shirt buttons, but looked into the mirror straight on, "Given your ability to succeed in almost impossible situations, I will give you a fifty per cent chance of success as of right now. If I see you studying and actively seeking assistance from your professors, then I will raise that chance. That said," he finished his buttons and gave his complete attention to the mirror, "if you request to take the tests, I will allow you to sit them."

He closed the mirror and moved to finish getting dressed. To his shock, he discovered he was half hard. 'When … when was the last time?'

His hand closed about himself and he groaned. It felt good. He fell back onto the bed, slowly stroking, savouring a feeling he hadn't enjoyed in years: being fully erect, breathing heavily, his eyes slipping closed.

The darkness was filled with slowly building desire. Tension – years of it – seemed to be breaking. 'It's been since Albus told me that he was hiding the Stone at the school because the Dark Lord was hunting it.' Muscles, long since locked rigid, changed their configuration, tightening in almost forgotten manners.

Relishing the feelings could only last so long. His mind needed stimulating, it always did. Images drifted through, but the ones that stayed, the ones that caused his breath to quicken and his fingers to tighten, were of Harry. Specifically, Mirror Harry as the teen habitually made his messages in the morning before he got up. Images of hazy green eyes, messy black hair, and a bare chest filled his mind. Harry's fingers, as restless as the rest of him, brushing over chest and shoulder, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

The tension continued to build in Severus, coiling low in his gut. His hand moved faster, his hips joined in counterpoint. At the remembered sound of Harry saying his name, his body tensed, arching off the bed, and he came,

Bit by bit, muscle by muscle, tension leaked out of him. It felt like several minutes had passed until he was a sated heap on the bed. Just as slowly, his breathing became normal.

Another minute passed before he opened his eyes. 'Harry ... why Harry?'

He sat up and headed for the bathroom once again, stripping off his now soiled shirt along the way. 'Because I just saw him, because he's the only male who I've seen in such a state of undress in years.' He stepped into a warm shower for the second time that morning, this time revelling in the looser muscles. 'Because he proved he trusted me, that he respected me, that he was willing to listen to my advice.'

Washing this time held more sensations than earlier. He wasn't sure he could get erect again so soon, but the feel of the flannel and the slipperiness of the soap created sensations that promised it wouldn't be nearly seven years again.

'I shouldn't picture Harry in my mind again.'

§§§§§

Harry sat in the middle of his bed staring at the mirror. He hadn't thought Snape would respond that fast but had been happy to see the darkened ring as he was getting dressed. So, he had flipped the compact open to hear his reply.

'I think I know what he said, but ...' He glanced down at his crotch, 'with all my blood rushing south, I might have missed something.' He closed the case, his thumb rubbing across the surface. 'Am I gay? I … I never expected to react like this to Severus. Was it because he didn't have a shirt on? The way he seemed to look right at me as he got dressed?' He set the compact on the duvet and stared at it, fingers trembling just a bit. 'Was he wearing anything besides his shirt?' He shied away from those thoughts as his partial erection twitched in interest.

Ron bounced onto the bed beside him, "So, what did he say? Yes or no?"

Harry blinked, looked at Ron, and dredged what he could remember up, "He said we could take the test if we asked. That Hermione is pretty sure to do well but we two need to study more."

Ron's eyes narrowed, "What is it then, mate?"

Harry looked around the dorm even though he was sure that no one else was in there, "He … he was getting dressed. He was putting on and buttoning his shirt..."

Ron nodded, "And?"

Harry waved towards his crotch, "And it responded."

"Oh, so …" Ron looked around shiftily too, "Does it respond to girls?"

Harry gave a slight shrug, "Not really. I mean – sure when Ginny … but not this much."

Ron sat still, his lips pressed tightly together before he spoke softly, "Never?"

Harry shrugged, "I thought it was stress."

"Possible, but then why Snape?"

Harry gave a helpless shrug, "I don't know … He was looking right at me, being sarcastic as normal, putting on his shirt, and I was watching his chest and his fingers doing up the buttons to cover it. Then …" his fingers fluttered slightly, "Then this happened."

"Could you be gay?" Ron asked.

"I … I don't know. But, if so, why would Ginny ..."

Ron whipped off his shirt, "Anything?"

"What?" Harry gaped.

"Any reaction?" Ron asked, rolling his eyes.

"No, mate, you're … you're like a brother!" Harry crinkled his nose.

Ron relaxed against the footboard, "Okay – so not just any chest. Snape's is a definite. How about the guys in the shower? Quidditch?"

"I haven't paid attention since we've been back."

"Before?"

Harry shook his head, "Not that I noticed."

"With girls before?"

Harry shrugged, "A little, maybe."

"Could be a side effect of dying again," Ron shuddered, "It's weird to say that, mate."

Harry chuckled, "It's weird to hear it." Picking up the compact, he started worrying it again, "So, since I … went away for a while, I don't like girls anymore?"

"I don't know, but we need to test it." Ron pulled his shirt on, his words slightly muffled as he did so, "Which means you pay attention to male chests in the shower, check out the Quidditch players of both genders, and then check out some of the other girls around. See what happens."

"Okay," Harry said and tucked the mirror into his pocket. 'But what if it is just Severus?' "Let's get to breakfast. We've one more day until the Holidays."

"Oh – but you need to talk to Ginny." Ron said as he jumped off the bed, "Have you two got back together?"

Harry shook his head, "No, not yet. It hasn't quite felt the same."

"Good, let her know, Harry."

"Easier said than done, Ron," Harry sighed.

A hand landed on his shoulder, "But needs to be done. Don't be a chicken like I was with Hermione. She needs to know the situation – that you might possibly be into guys now – so she can decide if she wants to wait."

"Right after breakfast then," Harry said, "But you need to be there."

Ron winced but said, "Okay, I will."

§§§§§

The Common Room was buzzing after dinner that evening.

Harry watched Ginny as she crossed the room, looking for any trace of her being upset after their conversation that morning. He and Ron had told Ginny about his possible attraction to men and underwhelming attraction to her. They'd mentioned stress and uncertainty along with the plan for him to determine what he wanted. Harry had stressed that he still loved her, but maybe not in a romantic way, so he wanted her to move on. He hadn't been prepared for her to kiss him enthusiastically, then search his eyes, before agreeing. 'I mean, the kiss stirred things, but … but it wasn't as much as Severus' chest.' He knew Ginny was sad, but she said she'd be okay and that things would be as normal between them as possible. She'd even rolled her eyes as she called him her older brother.

Harry glanced at Hermione sitting beside Ron, their hands clasped together. 'We explained things to Hermione over breakfast that morning. She seemed to accept it, but I think Ron told her more later. I've seen her watching me and side glancing at Severus.'

"They really aren't letting us leave," Ginny sighed as she sank onto a sofa. There was a trace of sadness in her eyes as she glanced at him. It deepened as she looked at Ron.

Hermione looked around at the other sad and disbelieving faces, "Didn't you say that it was announced earlier?"

A Fifth Year prefect stopped behind the sofa, her lips trembling, tears sounding in her voice as she replied, "Yeah, they did – but no one believed they could keep us here when our parents demanded us to go home."

Harry wondered if he should tell them about the conversation in the small room with Kingsley. 'Severus is trusting me not to – or rather he hasn't told me I could. Same thing most of the time.'

"There've been no owls for days," Lavender said worry and hysteria starting to colour her tone, "Do our parents even know we are alive?"

Questions and worry flew about the room. Harry knew that Severus wouldn't want this, even for Gryffindors. He had to say something. "I heard Snape and McGonagall telling Auror Shacklebolt that everyone was fine."

All the attention he hadn't wanted was pinned on him.

"When?" demanded Lavender.

"Yesterday, when I was pulled out of Charms. They were proving that I was still alive to him, I guess," Harry shrugged, "I didn't hear much, just that McGonagall told Shacklebolt that no one was injured and that no one was leaving to keep it that way."

"But …" Dean looked at the others before continuing, "Snape was injured."

Harry frowned, "But not in battle. That was a Hogwarts matter as it happened between the students and the Headmaster."

Ginny spoke up, "You were hurt."

Harry shook his head, "I was killed – not injured, so our Head didn't lie."

It felt like a wet blanket fell over the room making Harry wish he hadn't reminded them. He was trying to think of something to lighten the mood when the common room door opened, letting Neville in.

"Okay, everyone," Neville said as he held up a sheet of parchment, "We need to come up with some sort of fun activity for the holiday. We can choose three or four things we'd enjoy doing with everyone else in the school. I've got to return this to Professor McGonagall in the morning."

Harry was glad the conversation shifted.

By dinner time the next day, a schedule of events was posted.

§§§§§

"Come on, guys," Harry paced near the Common Room door, "Hagrid said we could go with him to pick out the trees for the Great Hall."

Ron and Hermione crossed the empty room while buttoning up their coats.

"We're ready," Hermione said as she opened the door, "Let's go."

"Breakfast?" Ron asked.

"We'll get it when we get back," Harry grinned and passed them both some of the protein bars they'd picked up at their last grocery run.

Heaving a playful sigh, Ron opened it and followed Hermione, who was already eating hers.

Harry fingered the compact in his pocket as he contemplated that last couple of days. They'd talked to their professors and each one had plied them with enough questions about what they truly wanted, that Harry almost gave up, but once they were satisfied, the professors had told then to study a tonne of concepts they had to understand along with permission to seek them out for help. Hermione then set them up a study schedule, which was why they were heading to Hagrid's this early in the morning.

They reached Hagrid's hut and heard Fang barking so they went to find him. Hagrid was waiting, a smile wreathing his face.

"Yeh made it," he beamed and tipped his head towards the Forest. "Shall we?"

Ron eyed the Forest, "We're not going near the spiders, are we?"

Hagrid shook his head, "No, we're not goin' deep in."

Tension leaked out of Ron's shoulders and they followed the half-giant into the treeline. Sometime later, they were contemplating an eight-foot tree.

"I didn't realize that finding the Christmas trees was an event, Hagrid." Severus' voice came from behind them.

"Professor Snape!" Hagrid turned, a smile curving his lips, "It's not, but I thought Harry, Hermione, and Ron here would like ter come."

Severus folded his arms across his chest as his gaze rested on them, "This is the Forbidden Forest, Hagrid."

Hagrid nodded, "But they've been in it before an' 's not far in ter the trees."

Severus looked at Harry and it seemed his eyes were more piercing than usual, "You can contact me if something happens?"

Harry's fingers tightened over the compact in his pocket, "Yes, sir, I can. We'll send sparks up or … something."

Severus glanced at his hand in his pocket before turning to Hagrid. "Do make sure they return to the castle safely."

"O' course, Professor," Hagrid beamed.

With a nod in their direction, Severus continued into the Forest. Harry wondered if he was hunting ingredients, but had no idea what he could be looking for in the dead of winter.

"I think this tree would be great in the corner of the Great Hall," Hermione said as she brushed over the needles.

"We need three fer the Great Hall an' one fer each Common Room," Hagrid said as he rested his axe near the tree, "So, this one's the Great Hall's?"

All three of them studied the tree, walking around it, before agreeing.

"Then step back, I've gotta make sure there're no vermin and then cut it down." Hagrid pointed his umbrella at the tree, "Why don' yeh go over there and see if you see any others. Not far, mind yeh."

Grinning, they moved off, staying in line of sight, and began looking. Soon they were each levitating a tree back while Hagrid carried one.

An hour after their return, they joined Professor Flitwick and many of the younger students in decorating the trees in the Great Hall.

§§§§§

"A party?" Lavender asked, "Like the Yule Ball back in Fourth Year?"

Parvati nodded and shrugged at the same time, "Kind-of. Professor McGonagall said there wasn't going to be a large dance area, everyone gets to attend, and dress robes are not required, but there will be music and such."

"So, no requirements to have a date?" a voice asked out of the back corner of the Common Room.

Parvati shook her head emphatically while pointedly not looking at Harry or Ron. "From what I understand, we will come to dinner and there will be games, dancing, singing if you want, areas to talk, and of course, dinner. What Professor McGonagall asked was for some of us to help choose games, make sure the rules are clear, and possibly watch them for a while."

Hermione asked, "And we are signing up or going to a meeting, or what?"

"Both," Parvati answered, "Sign up today and tomorrow there will be a meeting. Just write your name on the parchment on the board by lunchtime."

Everyone turned to talk to each other. Hermione looked at Harry and Ron, "We've too much studying to do to help."

With his shoulders drooping, Harry agreed.

§§§§§

"So, we're studying and doing our best to get caught up." Harry spoke into the mirror as he brushed his hair out of his eyes, "I wish I could help out with the Christmas party, but I don't have time."

He paused a moment, trying not to imagine Severus without his shirt on watching him. He flashed a smile, "I do need help with Potions and was wondering if you had any recommendations. Books and such to help me out."

He hid his wince at what he believed Severus' response to that would be. "Do you think Professor Slughorn would have a tutoring session? He did say we could come ask questions, but it didn't sound as inviting as the other professors." Harry suppressed as sigh and wondered if Severus would have been more inviting of questions now than he had been before.

"I guess that catches you up on the last couple of days, so bye."

He closed the compact and slumped back onto the bed. So far no one had gotten the same response from him as Severus had. Ron and Hermione both carefully steered him into the way of some really pretty and not so pretty people, but nothing. Not in the showers, not in halls, nowhere. 'Should I see what can happen? Pursue him?" He shook his head – pursuing Severus wouldn't be wise. There were too many rules to break and too much that could be misinterpreted or go wrong. 'I'll just try to let him go. Try to wait.'

Pulling himself out of his bed, he got ready to start the day. Later that afternoon, he saw that Severus had replied.

"Harry, you're right, you have too much to do right now, but your wish to help is noted. I might call upon you during the event itself, so be ready."

Harry blinked, shaking his head slightly, trying to focus on the words being said, not the very nice and bare chest being shown to him. Severus wasn't even bothering to cover it up and his hair was wet. 'Fresh from a morning bath?' Images ran rampant in his mind, making him miss the next couple of sentences.

"So meet me in my old potions classroom around nine o'clock. If you know anyone else who needs help with potions – basic techniques, refresh on theory, and brewing – and they're willing to learn, they can come too. I will see you in the morning."

The mirror went blank and Harry went to find Ron and Hermione after a few deep breaths. He had a study group to pull together.

§§§§§

Right after breakfast, Harry and all the ones he could get to come walked into Severus' old classroom. He, Ron and Hermione clumped around one table while the others scattered around the room, grouping together in what he thought might be their normal partners.

It was Professor Snape who greeted them, not the Severus of the Mirror, but the moment the man started giving directions, Harry realized it was it wasn't quite the Professor Snape of his memories. Instead, it was almost the one who helped him plot the route to the Burrow. Sharp, expecting you to listen and ask good questions. Expecting you not to be wasting his time, but willing to help.

"You are here to learn," Snape looked at Harry and then the others, "and as such, I expect you to put forth the effort to do so. None of you has ever been in my NEWTs class but all of you have been taught by me before. My expectations is for you to ask clear questions and do not blow up my room. As the school is currently sealed, ingredients will have to be collected and preserved here, so do not waste them. There are things that cannot be found on school grounds."

'And it's winter, so many things will not be growing in the Forest, and there is only so much we can get from the greenhouses.' Harry wondered if they could practise ingredient preparations on other things.

Snape continued, "Today, I wish you to each prepare a simple potion whose ingredients I know we have enough of. It will use a majority of the preparation techniques used in basic potion-making. If there is one that you do not understand, or are not sure you understand how to do correctly, then ask before you do anything to the ingredient."

He gestured to the board and words scrawled across it writing out the potion. "The ingredients you are using are over there." He pointed to the baskets sitting near his desk. "Be sure you've cleaned your tools and cauldrons before you begin."

Hermione went to collect the ingredients, Ron copied down the potion, and Harry went to clean their tools and cauldrons with several other students. He heard Snape walking behind them, critiquing their cleaning – all but his. Harry couldn't help but smile and murmur, "I guess all those detentions have paid off."

He heard a soft chuckle behind him and caught the sight of Snape walking away. Ron and Hermione were waiting for him when he returned their knives and – after scouring the tabletop – they began working. The room was fairly quiet, the students watching Snape unsure of how to act around him.

Ron was one of the first to call him over and ask a question on preparation. He pointed his knife tip to a pile of dried berries, "Is this minced enough?"

Everyone watched Snape with bated breath as the Potions Master examined the pile.

"This is finely chopped, Mr Weasley. It needs to be a bit smaller to be minced," Snape replied, his tone neutral.

Ron nodded and continued.

Hannah Abbot asked for help next. As the tutoring session went on, the tension in the room leaked out and learning began.

§§§§§

Minerva poured Severus a cup of tea before sitting next to him in the staffroom, "Are the tutoring sessions going okay?"

Severus sipped his tea before answering. He knew that tutoring sessions were not the friendly-Headmaster-get-togethers she'd recommended. She'd suggested tea parties, luncheons, and such. Minerva had also recommended he invite Harry, all the Weasleys, Miss Granger, and the members of the DA specifically. 'She did say to make sure that there were armours there to guard me from the DA just in case.' Instead of armours, he had potions around him, but he felt safer with them. The armours hadn't protected him last time. 'It took three days for Poppy to figure out how to cure what they'd botched, and neither of us still know exactly what they did wrong. No, having my potions around me is much safer.' He dismissed the memory of him telling the armours to protect the students.

"They are. The students seem to be grasping things they hadn't understood over the years between them finally listening and my lessening the amount of vitriol towards certain parties." He took another sip, "I had to remind them not to meet tomorrow as it is Christmas."

Minerva settled back into her seat, savouring her tea before asking, "Will you continue with the lessons next semester? At least until we've found new Defence and Muggle Studies professors?"

He could – with the school locked down, there was far less paperwork to worry about, but once the school opened again, he would be inundated. "They should be studying for those topics, especially those who are going to take their NEWTs on them."

Minerva shrugged slightly, "Include it in the tutoring – you are qualified to teach all three topics." She narrowed her eyes, fixing a stern look at him, "But do not assign one whit of homework. You will work yourself to death trying to do that and be the Headmaster. They come in, ask questions, and then finish the work on their own. It should suffice until we can get fill the positions."

"I'll start incorporating it in after Christmas," Severus knew he'd have at least a month to get them up to speed.

"Let them know my door is open for Muggle Studies and Defence questions. We can ask the others if they are willing as well." Minerva turned towards Filius as he entered the room, obviously about to start.

Leaning back in his seat, Severus plotted out when the best time for the session would be during the next term.