The Diego Diaries: Morning at the Mosh Pit (dd8 586)
=0=In the Bosom of Love: The Extended Cut®
Ratchet stared into the cupboard marveling at the genius of Rampage and Bon once again. Stacked in several different towers on shelves inside the huge cupboard and nearby in a pantry closet that once was a clutter catcher of toys and Ironhide's slag, enormous trays of pre-prepared food designed to feed well over 20 individuals at a time were waiting for his selection. He read the ones in the breakfast stack, then pulled out a good one.
Closing the door, he carried it to the counter. Inside made and waiting to be heated and/or embellished by more adventurous cooks with the time, he began to pull out scrambled eggs with the packets for making them omelets, waffles and pancakes, biscuits and the requisite gravy and stacks of lightly brown toast. Moving about the kitchen getting it ready, Ratchet thanked the gods for this colonial miracle, the big house they now had with even more room for this sort of concoction, something he was going to get sent to the house by subscription from RamBon Food Enterprises, and the dishwasher.
The miracle of the food was even more miraculous when you understood that subscription customers could ask for anything and they would prepare it in bulk. Ah, the miracle of miracles.
Down the hallways in both directions inmates were waking and getting ready.
=0=In a new wing of Camp IH v R
"Lumi? You awake?" Fireball whispered as he appeared in the doorway.
Lumi who was sleepily sitting on the edge of his bed grinned. "This is so fun."
Fireball nodded. "I'll help you make the bed. We have to get Orion and Praxus. They're the ones I get in the morning."
The two big boys made short work of the berth, then helped the others as they then walked out to get their designated infant. When they were in the lunchroom at school later in the orn they would troubleshoot the process and divide the kids one to a big boy. The dog and cats would get their own handler as well. Whatever it took to help old ma and pa, they would do.
The good boys®.
Hugs and good mornings were had as they walked through the kitchen heading for the baby's rooms. Sunspot rode on the arms of Quadrus. He smiled and waved as he went through it with the big boys. His happiness was off the scale.
Ratchet watched them with a grin. It was like waiting to cross a street with the other crosswalk going first. He snickered, then began to sling hash.
=0=Down the other way …
"Atar?" a soft voice asked.
Ironhide glanced to the side as he lay on the berth sucking the last few seconds of relaxation out of his day. "Tru?"
A handsome kid kneeling by the berth grinned. "Ada said to get up or he's going to bring his hammer."
Ironhide chuckled. "Old mech has a screw loose. He needs a wrench instead."
Tru laughed as he rose. He picked up Halo and waited, staring at Ironhide with love and amusement.
Ironhide rose, then followed the two toward the organized madhouse down the way. As he did the doors opened and elders walked in with dishes of their own.
"Did you just get up?" Alor asked as he set his famous breakfast casserole down on a heat pad on the counter. "Where did we go wrong, Blackjack?"
"We borned him," Jack said with a chuckle. He put his dish down, the other one that Alie made, then walked to the table to help the boys insert the last leaf.
Chairs were fetched from the nearby 'chair closet' and placed around the table as the big kids laid down the plates, cups and utensils.
"Do you want to join us, Amma?" Verilas asked he put down plates around the table. "We can sit on the couch and you can eat here."
"You can eat there, infants, we can sit on the couch" Alie said as the door opened again. Ratchet's elders arrived carrying covered dishes as well. "This is your first meal as an entire family so you sit here."
Fireball grinned. "It is. This is so great."
Everyone grinned at the youngish sweet kid as he held a babbling Orion.
Monkey motion was had, dishes filled and placed, then everyone sat. They as one stared at Ironhide and Ratchet who were grinning at them from the nearby heavily laden counters.
"I think they want you to join them. Do it. We'll take care of this," Alor said.
They filled plates, then sat.
Everyone stared at each other.
"Who wants to say grace?" Ratchet asked as he prompted an old family joke.
"GRACE!" everyone bellowed, then they laughed and began to eat.
Everyone else filled a plate, took a cup and found a place to sit. It was lively and funny. The nine kids were so happy it was contagious.
"How did you recharge?" Ironhide asked Quadrus.
"It was great. Sometimes Appa stays up late to talk to family in Soft Space. This place is so quiet its almost too quiet."
Five helms nodded.
"You'll get used to it," Genesis said as he sat next to Tru.
There were two budding 'romances' here, Fireball and Lumi, Genesis and Tru. It was sweet.
"Anyone need lunches for school?" Ratchet asked.
Every big kid in the room froze, then glanced at him with a shocked expression.
Ratchet whose fantastic smile froze on his face stared at all of them. "Frag."
=0=Seconds of frenzied explanation later
"Your old pa and I will be delivering them to the school. You just do your first two classes. The front desk can deliver them. I'm going to have a board by the door. Write any of this slag on it the moment you get home and this won't happen. So, six of you are going to Trypticon? I thought they had a cafe or something there," Ratchet asked.
"They do but its going to be closed for cleaning," Quazar said with a slight anxious tone. "We're sorry, Ada," he began.
"Stop. You kids don't have to apologize. Its always Ironhide's fault," Ratchet said with his most bodacious smile.
HUGE laughter and agreement met that as Ironhide smirked at Ratchet way down at the other end of the table. "Fragger."
The party whirled onward, then everyone began Operation Clean Up The Meal, a first time effort that would require refining but when the last dish was in the washer and the potluck add-ons covered and ready for transport back to their home bases, Operation Get Fifteen Kids Down To The Street For Transport To School began. It was as hilarious as breakfast.
A mad moment later …
Nine handsome boys with their book bags lined up at the door with children and a dog in arms. They were grinning at the elders who were still futzing around.
Ratchet finished his own farago, then looked at the kids. He smiled a dazzler. Slipping his camera back into subspace after joining a barrage of picture taking with the elders, he walked to the door. "Let's go. Only the handsomest mechs and femmes need to follow. Fortunately, that includes all of you."
A wild bunch of mechs and femmes walked out with Docker taking movies of the whole thing.
=0=At the bus stop
Children climbed into buses, vans, cabs and the carry hold of their amma. Ravel felt a sentimental need to take Prowler to school so he gently placed the baby inside with toys and blankets. The big kids got their marching orders … 'leave notes on the board by the door, expect your lunches delivered, behave, don't get caught, semper fi, your mama' … and by the time they left with Rambler they were laughing long and loud.
Prime and Prowl watched their bus go, then glanced at Ratchet and Ironhide.
"So, how did it go?" Optimus asked.
"Finer than frog's hair," Ratchet said with a dazzler as a cab drove up. "Excuse me. I have to go and make nine big kid lunches." He climbed in and was gone.
They watched him go, then turned to Ironhide.
He shrugged.
With enormous laughter, everyone went on their ways.
=0=At "You Make It, You Take It" in Oz
Ratchet entered a place he really liked, then got down to business by walking to one of a good 20 big tables lined up in rows where he would prepare his kids' meals. Pulling a cart out of the stack, he walked down the rows and rows of bins and stacks and buffet-style holdings taking a lot of what he wanted. When he couldn't lug more, he staggered to the table and began to fix the fixings.
Sandwiches, several each: check.
Sides, several that they loved: check.
Fruit and veggie sticks: check.
Candy which they could trade with other kids or not because Ratchet watched a lot of movies and saw kids do that: check.
Dessert that he knew each kid liked the best and would be asked for but not traded, hence the candy: check.
Drinks, two, because they were 'growing boys': check.
Nine lunches stacked neatly in nine piles stared back at him as he admired the skill with which he made them all look so appetizing. He as a doctor could do that, making slag look like gold. He walked to a wall nearby filled with all kinds of carry bags, then chose nine that were different from each other. He carried them back, wrote names on all of them, drew little stick images of himself and Ironhide waving, then began to pack them.
It took a moment, then he stepped back to admire his work. It was then that he realized he had to move this slag to the school. "Frag," he whispered. Then he called the Med Center here in Oz to rescue him.
In moments an orderly showed up with a gravity cart. Giving mucho thanks and an explanation, Ratchet sent him merrily on his way.
Grinning at the nine huge bags of food, the kind that dread and titan kids could demolish in minutes, thus their over-sized size, he began to heave the bags into the cart. By the time they were loaded, he was ready to go.
Across three cityscapes.
On the Metro at mid rush hour.
Dragging a gravity cart filled with over-sized lunches.
To a school in Iacon.
He grinned. This was going to be epic.
With a tug, he began to leave the place to head out into the world and do good for his kids.
=0=At The Fortress
Prowl sat at the table watching the progress of a bogie. The bogie was moving slowly but steadily heading for a target of its choosing. He frowned. He needed more intel. Thus, he Prowl of the Praxian Prowls cut into the security system not only of the Metropolitan Transport Authority but also some of the hitherto unknown high security cameras installed since the bombing campaigns to watch the sweaty-browed progress of Ratchet of the Iacon Ratchets weave and grind his way from Oz across three cityscapes, in mid rush hour dragging a gravity cart filled with over-sized lunches to Iacon.
Doing so would be one of the best things he ever did for himself in some time.
They would have to go out on the town soon, the two of them and the Squad.
He sat back, crossed his arms over his chassis and watched as Ratchet the Never Giver Upper battled the tide to take care of his kids. It would be hilarious.
=0=TBC 12-11-2022
ESL:
farrago/farago: (fuh-rah-go) a latin word meaning a confused mixture. In my family you called anyone stuck in insanity or having a problem to be having a farago. An argument can be a farago. A whirlwind of problems can be a farago.