VI

The next months were a total chaos. Christmas and New Year's Eve happened under the same pressure: Tomoyo was still working extra hours so to finish all the costumes so the filming schedule didn't have any setbacks. She spent all of her time either working at home, fixing last minute accidents on set, or having emergency meetings with Yuuko, Eriol and Yukito. Somehow she also found time to help Yue when he asked, even when he requested to see her the same day. And so, the days and months passed…

Touya still texted her from time to time, but as time passed, the messages had become scarce, just as his visits on set so to check on Sakura. That only made Tomoyo fill up with doubts; his behavior was now so erratic (for the little she knew about him), and something told her that nothing good was about to happen after that time when she had not only slept in his bed, but actually woke up there the next morning.

Touya's presence had been too good for her. Maybe even little too much. And so, know life gave her a completely out of place behavior from him, right after he told her not to fall in love with him. All those kisses and caressing, a night that hadn't felt as just having sex, but more like if they were making love… Tomoyo asked herself once again if that was just jealousy 'cause of Eriol. And if that was actually the reason, she had no way to stop it: the blue haired man was her boss, and she had to be always kind to him. Ok yes, it had been a little bit weird for him to ask her to call him by his first name, and he had also invited her to have lunch a couple of times, but still his behavior had always been respectful; not even once Eriol had tried to take advantage of her, and even if he tried, Tomoyo would've never allow it.

And yet, it was simply impossible to talk to Touya about it. Not only because they still didn't talk about each other's private lives, but because Tomoyo still haven't found the appropriate moment to tell Touya that between her and Eriol there was nothing more than a work relationship. It also didn't help that Touya spent less and less time in the filming sets, taking away any chance of talking to him.

She finally had it and couldn't keep quiet about it. Mid-January, Tomoyo finally decided the best approach was to talk Sakura about it. It happened as they were in the dressing room; working along with the make-up artist, she proceeded to mention it in the subtlest way she could.

"I think he's in negotiations for a new movie." Sakura replied while the make-up artist applied blush on her cheeks. The girl couldn't help but smile.

Tomoyo, who had noticed, hurried to ask:

"Why are you so happy?"

Sakura hurried to deny it, looking down.

"I guess I'm just excited to have a tiny bit of freedom…" and she proceeded to say no more.

Sakura's words actually helped Tomoyo figure out she also wanted him out of the picture for a little while. Yes, she needed him close to her, she couldn't live without him anymore, but at the same time, his presence suffocated her, as if he were a mere drug: the most she depended on him, the harder it would be to step away from him; the best she could do was to draw some distance, calm herself down, and take things slowly so to endure another encounter and hold in those words that still burned her insides. The best thing she could do was to step away, make her heart go back to her senses, and prohibit herself of falling in love with Kinomoto Touya.

It had to be easy. After that once time she had spent the whole night at Touya's place and woke up in his bed the next morning, such thing hadn't happened again. Yes, he still picked her up at her apartment, and drove her back even if that meant to drive at 3 am, but he still never got into her place, and they still kept on pretending they didn't know each other whenever they were at the same studio or filming set.

Tomoyo kept on pretending her life was perfect and she didn't have any other worry than her costume deadlines; she presented herself as always busy, always happy, always positive to everybody, including Eriol.

Still, that had turned into a double edge sword. During the filming process, the blue haired man had become more than just her boss and was now a really close friend. As the end of filming was coming closer, and Tomoyo had more free time, she used her free hours to talk with Eriol about no-work stuff, sometimes even sneaking out of the sets so to grab lunch together. They had gone back to the Chinese restaurant they first had eaten together several times. In some other occasions when they couldn't go out, they had to order take out and eat in a corner of the filming set. From time to time Yukito also had lunch with them, and there had also been a memorable occasion when Yue joined uninvited. Sometimes, Tomoyo couldn't help to ask herself it this new closeness to Eriol was misunderstood by Touya and was that the reason he texted her less and less, and his absences from the filming set where longer and longer…

"Congratulations!" Said Eriol mid-March, as he proceeded to drink from his water bottle and look at Tomoyo.

The girl was standing in a corner of the canteen, next to the long tables where the buffet was placed. She was deciding on what fruit she wanted to eat that afternoon, maybe even look for Sakura and ask her to eat with her, celebrating the last day of filming, when Eriol had found her and offered her a bottle of water.

"We're officially in post-production stage." He added, and pretending to celebrate, proceeded to clap, not hitting his palms and thus, not making any sound. "There's still going to be some more months before the movie will be finished and released, but we can say that your job here is done."

Eriol took a moment to drink from his water bottle again (Tomoyo hurried to open hers, but didn't drink), and proceeded to continue with his speech:

"Please don't think I'm keeping you away from having lunch with Sakura and Syaoran just to talk about business, but, you know… Between you and me this is unavoidable…"

"Say it at once, Eriol." Said Tomoyo with a smile, making Eriol smile too.

"Well, I just gotta say I would love to keep you as part of my staff, and I really want you to keep on working on the next two movies…"

"I had already told you I need to think about it…"

"...but, let's take it one step at a time." Eriol interrupted, raising his hands as if he was being arrested. "First of all, I would love to invite you to the premiere."

"I'm already invited, remember? I'm the head manager of the costume department."

"Yes, yes, of course." Eriol laughed. "What I meant was to invite you as my date."

If Tomoyo were drinking from her water bottle, she would've definitely spit it out. Trying to pretend she wasn't shocked and somehow embarrassed, she did her best to not stutter, and reply to her boss in the politest way possible.

"Eriol you flatten me, but… I don't think it would be the best. I mean, you are my boss…"

"Tomoyo, the premiere is still work related. And I don't mean it as a date-date." He tried not to laugh, and added. "Actually, if I'm being honest, this is a last minute invitation. My actual date has cancelled on me and you were the first one that came to my mind, since I figured you wouldn't say no to a friend in need… Unless you actually already have a date, in which case I would totally understand."

Tomoyo took her time to drink from her water bottle, processing Eriol's words. Still thinking about it, she finally opened her lips (unsure of what to say), when a high-pitched scream made not only her, but everybody in the canteen to look at the door.

"That sounded like…"

"Sakura." Said Eriol.

They both left their water bottles in the nearest table, and ran full speed out of the canteen. It didn't take them too much to find where the scream came from: Sakura's dressing room was the nearest, and the door was halfway open.

The high-pitched scream repeated just as Eriol pushed the door fully open, and he and Tomoyo stomped inside. What they saw left them confused. Sakura was pressed against the wall, standing on top of the white sofa; she was crying, covering her face with both hands, trying her best to not look, but not succeeding at all.

In the middle of the room, surrounded by thrown makeup, clothes and even a broken vase on the floor, there was Touya grabbing Syaoran by his shirt collar, who, since was shorter than the man, had to stand in his tiptoes in order to avoid being suffocated.

"What's going on here?" Eriol asked, as he took one step closer.

None of them answered him, so he had to ask once again, as Tomoyo walked behind him, and approached Sakura, helping her to get down from the sofa. The girl did so, trembling, letting herself fall in her arms, and letting herself be hugged.

"So?" Asked Eriol a third time.

"Let him go, please, brother." Sakura begged. Touya saw her from the corner of his eye, and still frowning, finally lose his grip, letting Syaoran stand properly, which made the kid cough profusely.

"Don't you ever get near my sister again." Touya whispered in a threatening voice.

Still, also frowning, and not letting himself being intimidated by the man, Syaoran replied back:

"I'll step away only if she asks me to do so."

Touya raised his fist and aimed towards Syaoran, but Eriol stopped him just in time, stepping between them both, both arms extended, pushing them away from each other.

From Tomoyo's arms, a new high-pitched scream broke the silence.

"You can't do that, brother!" Sakura was still crying and trembling, but she sounded determined. "I'm not a kid anymore!"

"You're still a kid to me." Was Touya's answer, and pointed at Syaoran's face. "And he's too old for you. I don't approve this at all."

"I don't need your approval!" Sakura cried once more. Feeling brave thanks to Tomoyo's embrace, she held her tightly, and added: "I love him, and he loves me back!"

"How can you know that's love?" Touya yelled back. "You barely know him!"

"We've been filming for a whole year, Touya." Eriol interrupted. His voice showed he really didn't want to say that, but at the same time, the idea of not stepping in was impossible to bear. "They've had just too many scenes together. I would even dare to say they've had more than enough time to get to know each other and…"

"That doesn't mean she's in love!"

"You're no one to tell me I can or cannot fall in love, brother!" Sakura interrupted. She pushed Tomoyo's arm away, and it was now her who was pointing straight at his brother's face with a shaky finger. "Not everybody is like you. You, who is terrified of finding love since Kaho left you!"

The silence that fell upon them, brought a drop in temperature with it. Atmosphere felt now heavy and cold, and for an instance, it felt as if nobody was able to breathe, much less to think. Sakura's words echoed and slowly faded away, but not disappearing completely.

Then, slowly but steady, the world went back in motion. Sakura stopped pointing her finger against Touya, and hid herself once again in Tomoyo's arms. Eriol did drop his arms too, and stepped back, still looking at Touya, hoping he didn't do a sudden move against anyone, including himself. Syaoran side eyed Sakura, holding the urge to go and hug her. Tomoyo had her eyes fixed in Touya, while all of Sakura's words pierced her mind and heart. And Touya… he was looking at Sakura. He was expressionless, unable to believe his little sister had said what she had just said. And as his semblance darken when the memories hit him, he looked at Tomoyo for a fraction of a second. His gaze and lips trembled, and before anyone could even understand what was happening, without saying a word, he stepped out of the dressing room, taking the heavy and cold atmosphere with him.

"So?" Eriol asked once more. "What happened?"

"Kinomoto found us kissing." Syaoran replied, as Sakura hurried to hug him and he held her in his arms. Eriol nodded; he had totally understood what had just happened.

But Tomoyo didn't listen at all. Her gaze was fixed in the door, at the exact point where Touya had disappeared, with a million of questions surging in her head. Kaho? Was that the red haired woman whom Eriol had spoken once? The older woman that did not belong to the show biz and couldn't handle the pressure of having a famous boyfriend? Had he loved her that much, that he had ended up closing the door to his heart, maybe waiting only for Kaho to open it again? Did he still loved her to this day?

She didn't see Touya again that day, in any of the sets, or dressing rooms or studios. Since filming was over, nobody thought of it as a weird behavior, especially since it had been weeks that he didn't frequent the sets that much. And while everybody kept on thinking that was normal, Tomoyo kept on repeating Sakura's words in her mind.

She finally had a name for the mysterious woman she pictured in his fantasies, every time she thought of Touya Kinomoto's ex-girlfriend. And that didn't help at all. It was as if by magic, the mere existence of a name had created a beautiful woman, tall, thin, with gorgeous long red hair, incredibly beautiful facial features, and the perfect body proportions… A goddess whom she could never compete. In her mind, there was now only the image of the perfect woman that had placed Touya in such a depression, that he was now condemned to never fall in love with nobody else, for the rest of his life. As if the love between those two souls had been dictated by destiny itself, and despite being torn apart, one day they would find their way back, and once they were together, nothing could ever part them again once more...

Her depression made her ignore everything and everyone. Unable to contain it, she secluded herself in her apartment, curtains shut, doors closed, phone turned off, and working nonstop, designing, cutting and sewing fabric, creating hundreds of clothes, keeping her mind busy, trying to forget the fantasy she had created herself, and that only helped to break her heart.

Post-production was finally completed, and with this, premiere date was announced, which happened in early July. Tomoyo had accepted Eriol's invitation, and after a short phone call, which purpose was for Eriol to announce his tie would be blue, she got ready to wear a dress that would combine with his partner's outfit.

The night of the event, as the clock hit 5 pm and the doorbell was heard all across her apartment, Tomoyo opened the door and welcomed the blue hair man, who dressed in his black suit, white shirt and said blue tie, was happily smiling at her.

"You look gorgeous."

Tomoyo smiled back at him.

It was a summer evening, so she had decided on a blue strapless dress, with a flowy tulle skirt that mixed different tones of blue (from navy to sky), and which length only reached right above her knees, letting her show her long legs, especially considering she was wearing such tall blue high heels that made her even taller than Eriol. She had pulled her hair in a messy bun, letting her neck exposed so her silver necklace would shine.

"You also look stunning, Eriol."

"Shall we go?"

Premiere was about to happen in one of the biggest and most important theaters in Tokyo. When the limousine stopped right at the end of the red carpet, and the door got opened, Tomoyo was blinded for a second due all the camera flashes that pointed straight at her face. Once she finally stepped out of the car, and her eyesight got used to all those flashes, she held Eriol's arm, and side by side, they both walked in as they smiled and say hi to the press and fans alike.

They stopped a couple of times, either to answer some questions from a reporter, or had some more photos taken. Still, when they finally reached the other side of the red carpet, another limousine stopped, and when its door got opened, all the fans and cameras turned to see and welcome to whoever had just arrived.

The first one to step out was Sakura. She was wearing a golden dress that made her light brown hair look way more blond than it really was. Still, despite her looking like an actual princess, fans' scream was not for her, but for her companion: none less than his older brother, Touya Kinomoto.

It was more than obvious that the Kinomotos were born to be famous. That would be the first time Sakura stepped onto a red carpet (this was her debut as an actress after all), but the way she walked, showcased she was more than used to the fans' cheering, the dozens of flashes pointing at her whole body, and the bunch of reporters that were pushing their mics against her face, asking for an interview. Touya experienced a similar outcome: while Sakura acted beautiful, delicate and attentive with fans and reporters alike, Touya's tactic was a bit more serious. He gave a couple of autographs (even stopped to take a couple of selfies) and held some short conversations with some reporters, less than three minutes each, and finally, stepped twice to have a photo taken, before holding her sister's waist, and pull her to where the rest of the cast was waiting for them.

Last ones to arrive where Syaoran and Yuuko. Just as Eriol and Tomoyo, they walked the red carpet together, took some photos, and held some interviews. They also took their time to sign some autographs until finally reached the other end of the red carpet, said hi to the rest of the cast, and got ready to enter the theatre.

The whole process of fan meeting, interviews and photographs was repeated when the premiere ended and they had to walk back the red carpet, since their limousines where waiting at the other end. It was now time to head to the party. Tomoyo arrived to the hotel's salon with Eriol, while the Kinomoto's arrived just behind them.

Tomoyo hadn't been able to speak to Touya during the premiere. Not only because they had been sited way apart, or because they were watching a movie and thus supposed to not speak, but mostly because she had no idea what to say.

During the past few months, they had only seen each other twice. Casual encounters that lasted less than two hours and after which she simply walked away from the elegant mansion, back to her tiny apartment, and proceeded to cry until falling asleep. Every day that went by, she could feel her heart going tiny and tinier, breaking little by little, as she could not contain all those feelings that tormented her, and didn't let her breathe.

That's why, taking advantage of Eriol being her date, she seized the opportunity to always be by his side, as if her life depended on it; she wouldn't let herself to walk aimlessly around the hall by herself, looking for Touya, especially since that wouldn't work for having a casual conversation, and much less to calm down her nervousness. She just stood there, right next to her boss, chatting only with him, letting him introduce her to different guests that reached to say hi, laughing of the different jokes that those people brought… That, until it was the Kinomoto's who came to say hi.

She should've known better; Sakura was already a good friend of hers, and it was quite obvious she would go to her to have a conversation. It was also obvious that Touya was not planning to leave her alone even for just a second (he kept on looking around him, apparently making sure that Li Syaoran would not get close to her sister), and so he also stepped in front of Eriol and Tomoyo, although he definitely was not in the mood to have a chat.

"Tomoyo!" Said Sakura with a bright smile on her face.

She stretched her arms, and as Tomoyo did the same and both girls hugged tightly, Tomoyo could hear how the girl whispered in her ear:

"I need you to distract Touya."

Her confused expression lasted less than two seconds, the exact seconds Sakura took to end the hug and turn to greet Eriol the same way. Tomoyo did her best to smile once again (although Touya's presence was already enough to make her lose her smile), and still not quite sure of what was Sakura's plan, she drank from her champagne glass.

"The editing was amazing!" Said Sakura in her happy tone. "The movie was simply beautiful!"

"That's what I meant when I said we needed all those changes in the scenography and costumes." Was Eriol's answer, visibly happy too.

"You think that with this result and response, will Yuuko give us way more freedom when filming parts 2 and 3?" Tomoyo asked, making her best to push herself into the conversation, something that Touya definitely did not care at all, as he was looking around, clearly stating the conversation bored him.

"Ah!" Eriol said out of a sudden. "This reminds me… You're not escaping this time, Tomoyo! You told me you had to think about working with us once more for the next two movies…"

"You're staying, right?" Sakura asked, hopefully. Tomoyo couldn't help but smile, a little bit nervous.

"You have to do it, Tomoyo." Eriol insisted. "I can't think of anyone better than you to design and create what comes ahead… I desperately need you to be part of the team that… I would even risk right here, right now, to offer you twice your salary!"

"That's way too much money, Eriol." Tomoyo hurried to reply, which made Sakura giggle. "And I didn't need that offer. I would've said yes either way. But, and let myself be clear I'm not only doing this for you. I'm doing this for Sakura." And she raised her glass, pretending to cheer.

"Oh, hold on a second." Said Sakura, visibly ashamed. "I gotta go to the bathroom. Brother…" And she looked at Touya, who did not say a word. "I promise I won't take long…"

"I'll wait for you at the bar." Was his answer, clearly stating he wasn't planning to keep on chatting with Eriol and Tomoyo.

Before Sakura had even take a step away, Touya had already left.

"Please." Sakura begged, not saying a word, and barely moving her lips, as she looked at Tomoyo. "Distract him."

Tomoyo nodded, Sakura said goodbye once again, and walked away, heading straight to the bathrooms. Pretending the conversation with Eriol was the most interesting thing ever, Tomoyo did her best to finish her champagne, so she could say:

"Do you mind if I go for another glass?"

"You need me to go with you?" Asked Eriol, politely.

"No need. Look, there comes Yuuko, and it seems she wants to talk to you…"

She sneaked at the exact same moment the woman stopped right in front of her boss, and hoping Eriol would be busy for the next twenty minutes, Tomoyo hurried to the bar, where after a quick scan she found Touya Kinomoto sitting right in the middle.

Dèjá vu.

That's how that moment felt. Her, arriving to the bar to grab a drink; him, sitting in the middle with a whiskey on his hand. There was the hero of a never told story, drowning his agony in alcohol… But, this time, Tomoyo did not wait for Touya to feel her presence. Feeling way too brave (or perhaps way too dumb) she got close to him, and pretending to act natural (her ankles were shaking and she was afraid she would trip on herself and fall), she slid right next to him, and sat at his right side.

Kinomoto pretended not to see her. He drank from his glass, while Tomoyo also pretended she hadn't seen him and order a piña colada. Her drink was served in less than a minute, and still pretending she was the only one sitting at the bar, she took her time to take a sip, while she mentally asked herself if she was actually going to do what she was planning to do.

But there was actually no need to keep on questioning herself, as she couldn't do anything to stop those words that came out of her mouth:

"I haven't heard of you in the last two months." She said as she looked at her drink. She wasn't brave enough to look at him, still, she could see his silhouette from the corner of her eye, waiting for him to make any movement that showcased he wanted to look back at her, or say something.

Nothing happened during two full minutes. She was tempted to grab her drink and leave, when Touya finally drank another sip from his glass, and after placing it back in the bar, he answered:

"I've been busy."

"I know." She replied quickly. "I mean. I thought so…"

"And I'll keep busy for quite a long time."

"It doesn't matter. I'll still be here." She hurried once more. She wasn't planning to quit without pulling up a fight. She would swallow her words, her feelings would keep up being a secret… She would do anything and everything it was in her hands if it meant she could still be by his side. "I was waiting for your text."

"I just signed a contract to film a foreign movie."

Tomoyo frowned. This was the first time ever Touya shared information about himself. She was wondering why the sudden change, when he finally turned his head slightly, and looked at her. She looked at him back. It was impossible to escape from his gaze.

"I'll be in Germany. At least ten months."

"I can't promise to you I'll fly to Europe any time you need me, but… When you come back to Japan, my phone will still wait for your text."

She had sounded desperate. She knew it, but she did not care. The only thing she needed was for Touya to know she wanted her to be there for him. With him. The result was that Touya frowned, and once again he drank from his glass. Silence crushed them once more, for what seemed to be hours, until Kinomoto once again placed his glass in the bar, and this time, he completely turned to look at her.

"Give me your phone."

He extended his hand, and waited patiently. Tomoyo, visibly confused, hurried to obey. She too left her drink at the bar, took her phone out of her tiny silver purse, and placed it on his hand, already unlocked. Just as the first time, Touya pressed the touchscreen a couple of times, and after less than a minute, he offered it back to her, to which Tomoyo took it with trembling hands.

"We're talking about ten months in Germany." He said as he took his whiskey, and stepped up. "Maybe even a year and a half."

Tomoyo wanted to ask him to not leave. That they could say goodbye the exact same way they had met. After all, they were back at a party in a hotel; it wouldn't be that hard to get a room reservation, and let him do whatever he wanted to do with her. But even if the worlds had stomped out of her mouth, Kinomoto would've not listened to her. He was already walking away, not looking back, one hand holding his drink, the other hidden in his pants pocket. It didn't take that long for him to get lost in the crowd.

Tomoyo couldn't help but frown.

He was leaving. Maybe it was all work related, but he was still leaving her. And so, she was now left alone, waiting for him to get back to her, waiting for him to request her presence again, to kiss and caress her once more. Until he had no need of her, there was nothing else she could do, and that was more than she could bear. At least not now, since she had finally figured out she belonged to him and only him.

Maybe, considering the turn of events, it would be the best to skip the norm. Stop being the one that waited for the text message, and become the one that send it. Yes, before Touya left her, she needed to be with him, at least one last time.

Her phone was still in her hand, and so she hurried to unlock it, and open the call register. Despite he had actually never called her, she had his number stared in her favorites. She congratulated herself to place him there, easy access, but it took her longer to open said list, than her smile to be erased from her face.

She felt as if the cold had engulfed her, as if a stone had dropped in her stomach and she was being pulled to the deeps of a cold lake, drowning… In her favorites, Touya Kinomoto's number was not listed. That must've been a mistake. Denying the obvious, she closed the call register app, and proceeded to open her messages app. And once again she felt that pull. A quick scan let her knew that the conversation she was looking for, no longer existed. All those messages had simply disappeared from her phone.

Was that what he had done to her phone that night? Deleted his number, deleted his messages? Was that the way he had informed her that he was leaving forever, and that the secret they had shared during the past year, had finally come to an end?

Tomoyo couldn't help but raise her head and look once again at the crowd. The crowd that had engulfed Touya Kinomoto for the last time. There, still sitting at the bar, with a piña colada in one hand, and her phone in the other, she had to make a superhuman effort to hold her urge to cry, despite her feeling her heart had just broken into a million pieces.

Yes, Touya Kinomoto had disappeared from her life, as if since the very beginning, he had never been part of it.

I know it sounds depressing, and the fact that there's only one more chapter left doesn't help that much. But it will be a good ending tho. Can't promise happy, but sure will be good (?).

And that's it. See ya next week. Love ya'll

-Ribo~