All things considered, everything was going good. Dean helped him get his ID, something he will be forever grateful for, and even though it took him a whole day, he finally got it. Sure, he had to wait till the next day for the bank to open before he could make his withdrawal, but even the long line didn't bother him as long as he could access his account and get the cash. To a man with nothing to his name but a brand new ID, and some clothes his friend was kind enough to let him borrow, those few hindered bucks on his bank account were a fortune.

A fortune he would have to look after, carefully.

As he stood there in the line, Castiel contemplated about how he should manage it. Thanks to Balthazar and his shelter, he had a place to sleep and eat, but he couldn't and shouldn't rely on that. What he should do is see if there was any way he could rent another apartment, get another laptop from Mr. Crowley and go back to work.

Castiel did consider asking Mr. Crowley for more work now, but he was worried someone might steal the laptop or it could get damaged somehow, and he wasn't sure Mr. Crowley would be so forgiving the third time around. No, Castiel needed a safe place to work and to store that laptop.

Besides, if he was going to build himself up, a place to stay and sleep would be a priority, right?

Clothes too. That would be the second thing. Because winter was just around the corner and he didn't even have a jacket, much less shoes. Glancing down at his feet, he couldn't help a small smile at Balthazar's old loafers. There were lumpy and slightly uncomfortable, but far better then his fluffy bee slippers. A part of boots and a warm jacket would be a good investment.

The woman behind the counter at the bank eyed him while glancing at his ID, frowning and probably considering if she should give him the cash or call her supervisor. Thankfully, another clerk at the bank greeted Castiel as he passed by, so the woman felt confident enough to let him make the withdrawal.

Striking gold at the thrift store, he managed to spend only 14$ for a pair of boots and a slightly oversized army jacket, allowing himself to spend 6$ more on a pair of underwear, an undershirt and sweats. The colors were mismatched and all the clothes were slightly bigger, but there were his. The rest of the cash along with his ID, Castiel put in an envelope he found at the bank, deciding that, for now, it was a perfect substitute for a wallet.

He missed Dean that morning, having left before the man arrived, but he came back just in time to find him helping out, distributing supplies. He joined him, throwing hidden glances at the man and hiding his small smile while Dean kept talking about... Everything.

From how big of a crime was the price of toilet paper to the fact that the city should set aside more funds to help out the shelters. It was just so entrancing to watch and listen to him go on and on about all the possibilities and opportunities this city could offer to the less fortunate, and when a random bystander started arguing about Dean being one of the privileged and how easy it was for him to talk a big game, Dean easily shut him up with the fact that he and his brother were basically homeless their entire childhood, and he knew how it was. That discovery, that little piece of information really stuck with Castiel who laid awake that night in a tent bed in the shelter and tried not to envision a very younger version of Dean, begging for food for his little brother.

Castiel instead tried to focus on the fact that Dean had a brother. He never told Castiel anything about the man specifically, just came up in the conversation. Castiel hadn't even learnt the man's name.

What else there was to Dean? There were so many things Castiel didn't know about him, but wanted to learn, wanted to find out.

Over the next two days, they spent more time together, Dean being at the shelter almost from dusk till dawn, cooking, cleaning, helping out. Castiel tried to look up apartments to rent, and after Balthazar let him use his phone, he made a few calls, but all turn out to be a bust. They all asked for money in advance, money Castiel didn't have.

He knew. He knew he should work better and think more about the situation he was in, but this... This was just easier. To stay in the shelter and eat there too, and take Balthazar on his offer to use his shower every now and then. He just didn't have the strength to fight, to try and work it out, he felt... Exhausted.

His whole life he was working hard, to please his wife, to please his boyfriend, because he thought that - maybe, if they were happy, he could be happy too. And he was, for a little while, or so he thought. But both those relationships eventually broke, and broke off a piece of him as well.

Still, he continued to work hard, not getting much in return, financially or emotionally and now he just felt... Exhausted.

So, why not just... Stop? Just... Be. With the lack of a place to live, there were so many things he needn't worry about anymore, like rent or bills. A part of him felt guilty for eating at the shelter, eating someone else's food, but another part justified it with the fact he still helped out there.

Besides, it wasn't as if he planned to stay like this. Just... For a few days. Just to let his mind relax and not to worry about... Well, everything. Being around Dean didn't help at all. He found himself enjoying the time they spent together talking while working or cooking, that the hours simply passed by.

Especially if Dean got news about their secret. About Balthazar a d his siblings. It was astonishing really how fast Frank was able to locate the four of them. Anna Milton was a high class lawyer living two states over. Hannah Carroll was a housewife, with two kids, living up North. Ezekiel Jones was an distinguished heart surgeon and he and Joshua Brown lived in California. Two more siblings were yet to be found, but that didn't stop Dean for contacting the others and arranging a meet, right there at the shelter, a month from now.

It was all too exciting, and so much easier to focus on then the problems Castiel had.

Two days later, just at the end of their work day, Dean got a call from Frank saying he might have found about the rest, but needed Dean to verify. It sounded a bit serious, but Dean was excited, smiling that dazzling smile of his that was just so contagious. He promised Castiel, if he found the others, he would treat the whole shelter with crepes in the morning, that he was going to rent a cart and make crepes for everyone.

The next morning Castiel overslept. He overslept and when he woke up and wandered out of the hall, he found Dean already in the kitchen. Everything in his stance seemed tense and rushed, his actions cut off and forceful, as if he was angry.

"Hello, Dean. Is everything alright?" Castiel asked reaching up to set a hand on the man's shoulder. He flinched and drew back when Dean snapped around, the look in his eyes so cold and angry and hurt.

"I dunno, Cas, you tell me." He snapped, glaring at Castiel.

"I... I don't..."

"Don't. Just don't." Dean waved his hand and turned around again. He leaned on the counter, arms stretched and straining from supporting him as Dean tried to breathe through the anger.

"Dean..."

"No. No. You wanna know why I'm upset? Because, Cas, when I went to look for the guy who could rent me the cart for crepes, I was left dumbstruck by the sight of a building next to the place he used to work. I stood there, gawking like an idiot at the building I knew, the building you live in and... Fuck, Cas, why didn't you tell me?" Dean's eyes bore into Castiel's, looking, searching for answers, for a way to understand. Castiel felt so strange under that gaze, so surprised by it and sorrowful.

"Why didn't you tell me? I stood there, looking at that burnt down building and... I ran. I ran to the shelter and then I just... There you were, sleeping amongst... Along with the others. And it all clicked - the way you acted, how you turn up here before me, and always have a reason to stay behind and some of Meg's comments and... I just don't... Why? Why didn't you tell me."

"I didn't... I didn't assume you'd care." Castiel blurted out. It wasn't what he really meant, he was just surprised to see Dean having such a strong reaction to all of this. People lose their homes everyday, he saw and heard enough stories to know that well, so why get this emotional over Cas' building burning down?

"You... You though I wouldn't care?" Dean almost whispered, so much hurt in those sad greens of his. Castiel could see him swallowing hard, running both hands down his face.

"I..." Castiel was speechless.

"I care. I care about you a great deal. And seeing that... Seeing... Shit."

"Dean..."

"My mother died in a fire. And I... I stood there, outside, holding my six-month old brother in my arms as dad tried to get back inside and pull her out and I..."

"Oh, Dean..."

"I'm sorry, I... It's just... Seeing that... I reminded me and I felt... I thought you..." Dean's voice broke with every spoken word, but he would clear his throat and try to explain and to remain composed, but in the end he had to stop talking and just focus on breathing.

He had his eyes closed, so he startled a little when Castiel came up and hugged him, but once he realized what Castiel was doing, he embraced him, and held on tight. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know." Castiel replied honestly. He didn't know. Maybe he didn't want Dean to view him differently, or maybe he just wanted to play pretend everything was fine. It seemed like Dean wanted to a bit longer, but he still let Castiel pull away.

"You could come stay with me." Dean said and yes. That.

"No, I... I couldn't. I..."

"I got a spare room, used to be Sammy's, it has some junk in it I could clear out and you could..."

"Dean... No. I... I couldn't." Castiel replied.

"Why not?"

"It's just... This is only temporary..."

"This would be too." Dean countered.

"Yes, but... I couldn't. I can't..."

"Can't or won't?"

"You could ask someone else, any one of them. Old Elkins could use..." Castiel tried, knowing well Elkins would never agree to that either, but Dean held his hand up and shook it to stop Castiel.

"I really, really admire that you would put others before you, and you would rather have them eat a whole meal and not take one bite to yourself, but... I wish I was more like that. I wish I wasn't this selfish in wanting you to be safe and to be okay."

Something in Castiel's chest ached. The words Dean spoke were filled with affection Castiel just wasn't sure it was directed at him. Or if it was affection at all. Maybe Dean allowed his emotions over what happened with his mother to cloud his judgment? It was sad, to learn that about him, and Castiel understood why Dean was so emotional over what happened to his apartment, but...

"I'll be okay." Castiel replied. Something just wouldn't let him agree to go and stay with Dean, and no matter how much Castiel tried to figure it out, the reason alluded him.

"Please, Cas."

"I... I'll be okay."

Over the next few days, Castiel tried to find a place to rent, but everyone wanted too much money in advance. He went to see Mr. Crowley twice to agree to have them publish his book, but both times Ruby informed him he was out of town, and maybe it was for the best. Because if he agreed, he would have to ask Dean to help him advertise it, or would have to use that 'angel' thing his papers published, and he still didn't really want that.

He was stuck in one place and he didn't know where to go from there.

Dean tried to coax him into agreeing to stay with him, but to no avail. He could dig himself out of this, he could.

The weather was getting worse, but thanks to many donations, the shelter had better heating and more blankets and more supplies. And more people too. A few nights Castiel gave up his tent bed, giving his spot to an elder or someone who was hurt.

Sadly, Dean grew a bit distant. There was a limit as to how many times a person could offer help before they released it was no use. Probably not wanting to seem overbearing, Dean stopped asking.

Castiel knew he was the one avoiding him and pushing him away, bit it still hurt when Dean would just accept that. It hurt to see him start to leave a bit earlier then usual and coming in a bit later, and not talking to him that much. He really missed that carefree smile of his.

It was a month later that he saw a faint shadow of that spark in his eyes and a small, tiny smile and it wasn't even directed at him. He stood to the side and watched as Dean handed Balthazar a piece of paper, watching as the man's eyes grew wider as he read on.

"Oh, my, God, Dean... You didn't..." Balthazar's eyes were brimming with tears as he gapped at Dean with his mouth hanging open.

"I thought you would like to see the final product, wanted to get your approval before we print." Dean played as if he didn't know what Balthazar was talking about, but that small smile gave him away.

"You... You found them all?" Balthazar asked, looking over the text once again. Dean mentioned he would put names in the article if all of the siblings were amenable, and it seemed as they were.

"Well, yeah. It's kinda what I do." Dean tried to spin it around, make himself into a narcissist he really wasn't, and in return, he had his arms full of Balthazar who was hugging him and crying and yelling and clearly excited.

"I gotta... I gotta call them, I have to..." He babbled as he pulled away, looking back down at the paper then glancing towards his office before finally sharing a look with Castiel, huffing a laugh because he knew Castiel was involved in this too.

"Round them up?" Dean asked, his smile turning into a knowing smirk. He moved out of the way just in time for a sharp looking redhead to enter the kitchen, followed by a brunette, Anna and Hannah as Castiel later learned. A few minutes later, Ezekiel and Joshua came in, the two looking so much alike that could almost pass as twins. Castiel watched them all hug out and talk, glancing at them a few times as he helped Dean prepare breakfast.

"Were you able to find the other two?" Castiel whispered, curious, and Dean glanced at him, his expression tired and sad, as it was always whenever he looked at Castiel. He nudged his head towards the door.

There stood a policeman with dark hair a serious expression on his face as he observed the place before finally joining the others. The guy, Michael Cohen was actually working in a precinct across the town, all this time he was right there and Balthazar didn't even know.

The last guy, now he was one to draw attention. Lucas Pellegrino, of the infamous Pellegrino family, a mobster with blond hair and a bad boy attitude. How he ended up there, Castiel would never figure out, but he didn't seem like a criminal at all. More like those likable villains you saw in the movies. The bad guy who was actually kind of good. Like Jimmy 'The Tulip' Tudeski. And wow, did he and Meg hit off.

Over the next few days Meg would keep talking about him with dreamy eyes and a wide smile. She would tell Castiel everything she learnt about him, like the fact that he was on the streets and he picked the wrong pocket, that the guy he tried to rob was none other than Anthony 'Tony' Pellegrino, the boss-man himself. The man took him in and taught him the ways, but after he died, the rest of the family tried to push him out. Worse than that, they started doing things Tony would condemn, and that was the reason Lucas became an informant. No wonder Michael didn't try to arrest him on sight.

And yeah, Meg was so infatuated with him, but Castiel was glad she found someone, even if he still worried about his connections to the Pellegrino family. Still, the change in Meg's attitude would change, she would smile more and be a lot more polite, generally happy, and it would show.

"It was a really nice thing you did." Castiel told Dean as they watched them all talk.

"He deserved it, and more." Dean replied, his eyes a bit distant and Castiel couldn't help but wonder if that had anything to do with Dean's own family, with his brother. Sammy, did he call him? Castiel hummed his agreement, watching Hannah talk about her kids and showing everyone their pictures. "You do too, you know..." Dean said, and when Castiel turned to him, he found the man looking at him with a scared hint of hope. Castiel wished so that he could believe that spark in those eyes, wished so hard it meant something more, but he was burnt too many times.

"I'll be okay."

Castiel was not okay. It had been raining non-stop for the past few days and he had to go and buy more clothes, just to have something to change into and not be soaking wet all the time. He counted every penny he spent, knowing he had no way to get more money right now. Balthazar shoved a few dollars in his hand, and as much as Castiel protested, Balthazar wouldn't take it back. "Call it a loan." He said. And yes, perhaps it was easier that way, to think that one day, he would pay him back.

If only he could find Mr. Crowley and talk to him. But Ruby said he was away, visiting his - as she said "hopefully dying mother". Castiel felt sorry for whatever man crossed her over because Ruby - she was a class A bitch. But the fact remained, he couldn't get to Mr. Crowley, he couldn't talk to him about letting him work more, or agree to publish - if they found it, which Castiel suspected they never really misplaced.

On his way back to the shelter, the umbrella he had was blown away by the wind, and the rain just kept pouring, within second of being exposed to it, Castiel was soaking. As he tried to cross the street to the shelter a car nearly hit him, crossing a puddle and spraying muddy water all over him, getting mud in his face and some in his eyes. Feeling depressed, lower than low, Castiel had no more fight left in him. All he thought about was getting inside and just crawling into a tent bed if one was available. If not, he'll get a blanket, curl up in a corner and just sleep. Screw the wet clothes and the dirt and everything, Castiel just didn't care anymore.

He stepped out on the street and he could hear Dean in the distance yelling something, so he turned around, just in time for another car to miss him. He stumbled away, back into that puddle, that was actually a drain with a broken grid. His leg fell through, the metal tearing his pants and his skin, making Castiel cry out and falling forward, landing face first on the curb. His entire body was shocked with the pain as he hit his head, and Castiel tried to breathe, and tried to stay away, but to no avail. Darkness crawled closer and Castiel finally gave up, allowing it to take him over.

He woke up with a start, breathing heavily, but he didn't remember if he dreamed anything. Castiel took a moment to calm his racing heart, then looked around. He was in a nice, soft bed, in a room filled with some boxes and books and other stuff. The light was dim and the air not as stuffy as one would expect, but none of that mattered because... He was naked!

Well, not naked, naked, but his pants and socks were gone, he was in a T-shirt he had never seen before and - thankGod!- he still had his own underwear. What the hell happened? Where was he? Whose bed was this, whose clothes was he wearing? Where was his stuff, his bag, his clothes? His cash? Shit, shit, shit! Someone was at the door, someone was there, turning the knob silently and opening the door, and Castiel - no, he was about to be attacked and have his brain eaten by a mindless zombie, or some other creature from another horror movie and fuck, fuck, fuck!

Castiel held his breath as the door slowly creaked open and nearly passed out when he saw those way too familiar green eyes. Dean's face was filled with concern, but he was still smiling that soft, kind smile of his, looking down at Castiel like he... Like Castiel mattered... Like he was someone important. "Morning, sunshine."