Author's note: I apologise for the delay, but I was finishing up my Michael/Dean story The Quiet One, and the last chalter ended up 5 times longer then any other from that story. But at least this story is my main focus now. Enjoy the chapter.

Castiel didn't know what to think. Or what to feel. Firstly, it should be at least weird, if not alarming that someone undressed him, touched him, maneuvered him from the shelter to wherever he was now. He should be upset that Dean saw him almost naked, that he took his pants of, that he redressed his shirt. But he felt oddly calm about it, maybe even liked the attention. Maybe even felt a bit aroused?

He calmed his dirty mind when he spoke to Dean, when Dean explained what happened, and he softened, his heart daring to beat a bit harder because of what Dean did for him. He helped him, saved him, took care of him. Dressed him, fed him, gave him a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in. Was that memory foam? Dean offed his home again, and a month ago, he would have declined. Now, he just felt defeated, and beyond ready to let someone else take charge, take control. Let someone else worry and care for him.

There was a time he felt the same, right after Daphne, when Zach took him in and made him smile and made him feel good about who he was. That it was okay to be different, that the church was too close-minded for its own good and that there will be a time they will have to 'get with the program' and accept the new, modern times. But as good as Zach preached, he turned out to be just as controlling as Daphne, and worse. But Dean wasn't like that? Right?

Castiel didn't think he could survive if he let go and Dean turned out to be like Zach.

But he was so attentive, like Zach was, only it felt different. It felt as if he was doing it both to help Castiel and to sooth his own worry, not just to placate him. He seemed to genuinely care about his well-being. So it was understandable that seeing that plastic wrap almost made Castiel's heart stop. Zach would get these 'ideas', he was... Creative and would transform any household item into... a tool in a sexual act. Castiel found it interesting at first, but not later when he had his hands tided with the thin office tape, cutting into his wrists, his mouth stuffed with crumpled paper, tasting the ink, his ass stamped with big red letters that say DENIED, his hole filled with five different-colored markers.

It was such a relief when Dean told him it was just to wrap up his leg, his wound, so it didn't get wet. Castiel really should stop comparing Dean to Zach. It wasn't fair to Dean.

Oh, when Dean pulled out that bathrobe, so fluffy and smelling of mountain dew and spring. And Dean, he actually stepped outside to let Cas change. The robe was so soft and warm, it made Castiel want to just snuggle in it, curl up and sleep.

But he needed that shower. He had no idea how much he needed it until he stepped under that hot spray and let the warm water wash all of it away. It allowed him to breathe again, to feel like a real person again. And Dean... He gave him that. Dean. With his perfectly curved pink lips and those green eyes that when they would focus on him, it was like nothing else existed in the whole white world.

What would it feel like to have those hands on his body? Would Dean like it? Castiel was always annoyed by his little pouch, but now his stomach was... Not flat, but more sunken in. Surely, Dean wouldn't like him this malnourished, he was skin and bone. As Castiel kept looking at his own reflection, he couldn't help but wonder how he allowed himself to get to be like this.

But with Dean there, it felt like there was hope. That he could still do something, that he had control over his life.

It was only natural that Castiel wanted to give something back, so he waited patiently for Dean to finish his article, looking around this amazing apartment, a part of him hoping he would be welcome here for at least a while. Castiel was thrilled that Dean not only took his advice regarding the article, but allowed him to edit the text, listening carefully to all his explanations and even asking questions, interested in it all. The man was... Just perfect.

And that... That scared Castiel the most.

Because Zach seemed like that too. Until he revealed himself to be a controlling heartless bastard. How could he possibly know Dean won't turn out to be the same?

"Oh, wow!" Castiel exclaimed, moaning around the first bite of the pizza. When Dean first mentioned they would make it together, Castiel though he was joking, but as it turned out, Dean was brilliant in the kitchen. Castiel blushed, figuring how he sounded, but Dean just grinned at him, pleased, and still covered in flour dust. He was so adorable and Castiel found himself wanting to kiss him, and not for the first time today.

He felt so drawn to him, to his positive attitude and good-hearted nature, but didn't dare hope he could ever be with him. He was too fucked up. Had too many issues and was antisocial. What would Dean want with a screw up like him, anyway?

"What's with the doom and gloom?" Dean asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Huh?"

"You were smiling a second ago, clearly enjoying the pizza and then your face went all dark and you started frowning. Was it something I said or did?" Dean asked, looking worried again. Castiel hated it and loved it all at the same time. Hated to see Dean thinking he had to walk on eggshells around him, but loved that he cared enough to want to do it, if necessary.

"No, no, I just remembered something... Unpleasant. Nothing to do with you or this amazing pizza, I just... My mind wandered off. I am sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. We all had our bad days." Dean replied and Castiel just smiled and nodded, both continuing with their meal. Moments flew by in pleasant silence, Castiel enjoying the pizza very much, when Dean felt the need to talk again. "You want a beer with that?"

"Um, no, thank you. I don't drink alcohol." Castiel said and Dean's brows raised. He actually thought Dean would mock him, or try and persuade him that beer isn't really alcohol, that one bottle wouldn't hurt. (Except it did, it hurt a lot, Castiel still remembered). But Dean had a different response.

"Oh. Okay, I get that. Let's see what else I got..." He said and got up to the fridge. "I got a bit of that orange juice left, some water... Where the heck is that soda, I know I had it..."

"Water is fine. I can drink tap too."

"I got a couple of bottles. I got milk and wi... No, that's alcohol too."

"Milk?" Castiel piped out.

"Yeah?" Dean said/asked curiously.

"I could go for a glass of milk."

"Seriously? With pizza?"

"Yes." Castiel replied and watched with amazement as Dean just accepted it. Not only that, but he took out the carton and two glasses and poured both Castiel and himself a glass. Zach would never have done that. Dean took a few more bites of his pizza, then doused it with milk, sighing loudly in content after.

"That was pretty good, actually." Dean replied with a grin and Castiel smiled back, eyes wide and filled with appreciation.

When the meal was finished, he wanted to help, but Dean wouldn't let him, saying he had to stay off his leg, so Castiel gathered the plates and glasses, arranged things to make it easier for Dean to carry back to the sink or the fridge. The sweet smiles Dean kept throwing him made his heart thump faster, and his cheeks to heat up.

Once they cleared the table and Dean washed the few dishes the used, Castiel relocated to the couch again. Dean tidied up some more, going to the bathroom to empty the dryer and put in the new load of clothes to wash. Castiel asked to help fold the stuff, some of it being his after all.

"Would you mind if I went for a supply run real quick? There are some stuff I need..." Dean asked after he put away the stuff Castiel folded, some to his room, Castiel's things to the spare bedroom.

"I wouldn't want you to buy anything on my account... If me being here is an extra experience..."

"No, no, no. Nothing like that, Cas." Dean hurried to say and Castiel really loved that nickname, "Just that, I don't like to go grocery shopping, so I tend to leave it for when most of my supplies are low, like they are now. I am outta soda, juice, toilet paper, soap, could use a new razor, stuff like that. Do, um... Do you need anything?"

"No, I... I..." Castiel didn't want to lie. He needed a toothbrush, but with the last few bucks in his pocket that he didn't want to waste, and not wanting to be a financial burden for Dean, he didn't know what else to do.

"Ok, listen.. " Dean said after he sighed and sat down on the couch next to Castiel. "I know this situation is complicated and you don't want to take from me, but... What if we worked something out? You helped me a lot with that editing you did, saved me hours and nerves, saved me from my editor, so this is the least I can do. And if not, well... Then you can pay me back when you get back on your feet? How's that?

"I... I don't know what to say. I can't just..."

"Yes, you can. For me? Please?"

Dean did get him that toothbrush and a razor so that he could shave and he also bought a whole lot of other stuff too. Castiel insisted he helped, if not by putting things away, then by sorting them into groups so that Dean could put them away more efficiently, separating things that would go into a pantry, perishables and toiletries, just like he would do in the shelter. Made him feel useful, to an extent.

They ended up spending the evening watching one show after another, laughing and commenting. More then once Castiel glanced at Dean, sneaking a look at his plush lips, thinking how easily Dean could have been an actor in one of those shows and how all the fangirls would easily fall for him.

Dean took a few trips to fetch them sodas and snacks and every time, Castiel would steal more glances at him, at his soft looking hair, at his strong arms, and even at his round little ass. Castiel was a bottom, no doubt about it, but he still liked something firm to hold onto during sex.

And to Castiel's immense satisfaction, every time Dean would return, he would sit an inch or two closer, as close as he could, so Castiel's active imagination started to contemplate what would happen if Dean decided to kiss him, if he wanted to. Castiel would want that, but would that be as far as things went?

With all those thoughts in mind, it was no wonder Castiel started biting his lip and getting more anxious as the night progressed, which Dean interpreted as him being tired, but not wanting to be a bad guest. He yawned, lifting his hands up and stretched, his biceps flexing, his stomach showing as the shirt rode up.

When Dean walked with Castiel to his room, probably wanting to make sure he had everything he needed for the night, Castiel panicked and shut the door in his face. He would have sighed in relief for being alone with his wicked thoughts if it wasn't for that loud shout of pain.

Immediately Castiel swung the door back open, finding Dean on the other side, hands on his face, fingers holding his nose that was bleeding profusely. "Oh my God, Dean, I am so sorry." Castiel ushered to help, to do anything, to fix this somehow, but Dean raised one hand and stopped him in his tracks, the action like a knife in his chest.

He did that. He hurt Dean.

"It's okay, not the first time I walked into a door. I'll be fine, just gotta stop this bleeding. You'll be okay by yourself?' Dean asked, despite his hopefully not broken nose, he wanted to make sure Castiel would be alright.

Castiel felt like such an asshole.

"I want to help, please, Dean..."

"It's okay, Cas, seriously. I got this." He said and walked away towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Castiel just stood there, like a complete idiot, not knowing what to do. He hurt Dean and it probably seemed like he did it on purpose. But didn't he?

Why was he trying to get away from Dean, the man did nothing but be kind to him and helped him and fed him and fuck, fuck, FUCK!!! Castiel snapped around, limped into his room and shut the door loudly before falling face first on the bed. He hated himself at that moment.

Hated that he was so confused about what he wanted, hated that he was so scared of being hurt and tricked again, hated not being able to act like a normal person just once. His chest clenched hard, so hard it made it very hard to breathe, but Castiel didn't care.

A knock on the door startled him and he gasped, but Dean didn't come inside. "Cas? You okay?" When Castiel didn't respond for a minute, because he didn't know what to say, Dean tried again, sounding a bit nasal. "Hey, man, it's okay. Really. I'm fine. I just wanted to make sure you are too."

Silence.

"Cas? You in there?"

"Yes." Castiel rushed to say. What kind of a person would he be if he ran away now? Making Dean worry on top of hurting him like that, shutting him out. "Yes, I am here. I am sorry Dean."

"It's okay Cas. I'll put some ice on it, be as good as new in a few hours. Get some sleep, okay? I'll see you in the morning." Dean replied and Castiel heart ached. Dean was such a nice person, a good man, he didn't deserve to have a screw up like Castiel drag him down. He should just leave. Leave and never look back.

With those scary thoughts, Castiel curled in a small ball, wrapping himself up with a very nice, soft, fluffy blanket and almost cried himself to sleep.

"So pathetic, look at you, little crybaby." Zach mocked as he stood over the bed, looking down at Castiel who was naked and bound to the bed, spread eagle wide and with a huge vibrator sticking out of his ass.

It hurt, and the pain intensified each time Zach would up the vibration level, making Castiel scream, tears running down his face and begging Zach to stop. But Zach - dream Zach- would never stop, and Castiel would always trash and scream and plead to no avail.

"What's the matter, Castiel? Don't you like me playing with you? Want to go back to your lousy wife? She didn't understand you, Castiel, she never could. She didn't see that you need a strong hand to guide you, to show you all those things you wanted to learn, but didn't dare ask for."

"Nobody is going to show you, Castiel. Nobody will ever give it to you like I can..." Zach said, taking his cock out of his dress pants, but otherwise staying fully clothed as he crawled on top of Castiel.

He tried to make him stop, he tried to tell him that he still had the vibrator on, but all Castiel could do was whimper and let out a crying string of nononono-s as Zach descented down upon him, the head of his cock nudging his already abused rim.

Like a storm, Dean swooped in, crashing trough the door, calling out to Castiel. He rushed to his side, his warm hands settling down on Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel cried, both from relief and shame. Zach was gone and Dean was there, but Castiel was still tied, bared to the man and that damn vibrator was still working his ass open, the buzzing sound intensifying with Castiel's sobs.

"Cas! Cas!" Dean called, uncaring about how Castiel looked, only interested in calming him down. The bounds on his wrists were gone, and instinctively Castiel reached and clung onto Dean, crying into his chest. The pressure on his prostate was gone, and so was the vibrator and...somehow he had his clothes back on, but Castiel was still scared, still crying, still having a hard time breathing.

He could feel Dean's hands wrapping around him, he could hear the soothing shushing, and the steady heartbeat as he leaned into his chest. He could feel Dean's hot breath on the top of his head, he could feel the small kiss Dean planted there and hear him say he was there and he wasn't going to let anything happen to him.

When Castiel woke the next morning, he realized, some of that dream wasn't a dream at all, because Dean was there, nose bruised, sleeping awkwardly in a half sitting position, prompted against the headboard. Castiel's upper body was on top of his legs, his head on the man's chest as Dean still had one arm slung around him in a protective manner.

When Castiel tried to pull away, Dean's grip tightened slightly before letting go, and Dean himself stirred. He groaned as he moved his head, making his neck give these awful cracking noises. He opened his eyes, looked down at Castiel and let his hand slide away from him.

"Sorry, I'm sorry. You had some really intense nightmare and when I came to wake you, you clung onto me and wouldn't let go, and I... I just couldn't push you away. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stayed, I know... I know how this must look..." Dean's speech was interrupted by Castiel hugging him tight, burying his head down into the man's chest again and just breathing him in.

"Thank you. Thank you, Dean."

Dean's hand reached, stroked Castiel's hair, the other hugging him like it did a minute ago, tightly and securely.

"Anytime, Cas. Anytime."