Chapter 1

Carly Shay had come a long way since her teenage days making Icarly. She had had such an innocence then that she didn't know how cruel the world could be or that there was a darkness that existed within it that could drag you down if you let it. When she truly looked at her life, she couldn't say that there was any unhappiness, but she couldn't say she was happy either. It felt like she was just going through the motions, but she never really stopped to dwell on that. She had a thriving business that gave her a very comfortable life, but the risks of that business often had her looking at her life with a slanted view. It felt wrong to say that those days doing Icarly had been the best of her life. That seemed so sad, especially when she compared it to the way she lived now. Those days with Sam and Freddie, they were golden when she looked back at them, and her life now was too dark in comparison. It all seemed to be curved in shadow, so much so, when Carly looked back on her younger self there was so much that she found herself wanting to say. If she could talk to that girl, she would have warned her about the future, and the darkness that was coming to her. Maybe she could have changed the few mistakes she'd made. Maybe there would be more lightness to the life she was living. Carly always felt like she was on the fringes of society and while she could never say she was sad, she wanted more for herself, but there was no going back. She had gotten herself where she was.

"My mistakes got me here, but now I just have to live with them" Carly lived with that thought sown into the skin of her chest, her life constantly moving, and leaving her with nowhere to go except forward.

Most people had a bad taste for what she did. They called her a madam, or a prostitute along with the other more disturbing names, but Carly simply thought of herself as a businesswoman. She didn't tell many people that she owned an escort service or the details of what her business entailed at all. To her, it was just another business despite what the world thought of it. The true reality of it sometimes weighed on Carly though as she kept it in the shadows of society. A lot of women who did what she did ended up in jail or far worse, but Carly had managed to keep her business on sure footing. She had always managed to avoid the police and skidded past the risks that existed. Yet she felt like that couldn't last forever. That weighed on her heavily as she walked into her office each day. When Carly looked at the journey that had gotten her here, she knew it hadn't been perfect, but as she walked past the elevator doors, Carly recognized that this had become her world.

"I have more then I'd have if I were still filming Icarly. I have money, a home. It even got me my husband" the reality of everything her work had gotten her was not beyond Carly's knowledge.

"This business may not be as legitimate as any other in the eyes of anyone else, but it is to me. Anything that helps a person survive is a valid way to make money" even in her darkest hour she would always defend her business, just as her husband would his own, and it was because of him that she was so grateful for the work she did.

If it weren't for the work she did, Carly was sure that she never would have met her husband. Richard Tierney was a good man. Not like most of the men who engaged in the services she provided, but a gentleman. A businessman who always seemed to be there to back her up when she needed it and who had fallen for her just when he wasn't supposed to. Carly had been an escort herself when she'd been sent on a date with a new customer. Richard had been that customer and Carly was sure she'd still be just another escort if he hadn't given her the courage to go out on her own. She knew his love had made her a better person and it was those things that made her love him too.

He had come along suddenly, she hadn't been expecting it, but upon first seeing him she'd believed him to be just another man paying to have sex with her. Upon first meeting him, he had wanted the same thing the other men wanted. To have a pretty girl to call when he needed eye candy or to get laid. He would wait for her at the bar and then they would go wherever he wanted, but one night that changed. He had been in a terrible mood and as she sat next to him, he didn't say a word until the bartender came over, and when she asked for a smoothie, he had looked at her, and burst out laughing. They started talking after that and on that night, he didn't take her to some motel at the end of the night, but he put her in a cab home. The next day Carly had been told that Richard had asked to see her exclusively. It was the first time that Carly had ever had such a request. Suddenly, they were seeing each other all the time. Carly felt as she was falling deeply in love with him. It had frightened her because she didn't think he could feel the same way until he showed up at her apartment one night. They hadn't had a date scheduled, he had just come there because he said he wanted to see her, and that was the first time he made love to her. It wasn't sex, he didn't pay her like he had the other times, but he laid in her bed shamelessly touching her without money ever entering their minds. He told her he loved her that night. He said it under his breath and once she was sure he had said it, Carly repeated the sentiment. She left the escort service she worked for after that to be with him. Richard took care of her, even going as far as to move her into his apartment and introduce her to all his friends as his girlfriend. It had been his idea for her to open a business of her own. The thought had never entered Carly's mind, but Richard had been so certain. He had had such confidence in her that when he gave her the money to start the business, Carly had been determined not to let him down, and so far, she hadn't. That was how she had gotten in touch with Freddie again. She had been laying out the groundwork for her business when out of nowhere she bumped into Freddie on the street. She didn't actively advertise that she was an escort, but something in his eyes told her that she could still trust him. It all came spilling out and he didn't judge her, not for a moment, but instead gave her the same encouragement as the man she loved. He had helped her set up her first office and worked with her until everything was off the ground. He stayed until she didn't need him anymore. Freddie was still a tech genius and Richard owned a tech firm. Once the two met they quickly became friends and when the time came, Freddie went to work for Richard.

Carly had expected her then boyfriend to immediately feel jealous of the relationship she had with her friend, but he didn't. He always respected the other relationships in her life whether that be with Freddie or Spencer, it didn't matter, Richard always supported her. It was right after she introduced him to Spencer for the first time that Carly decided she wanted to marry him. She hadn't known it, but Richard had been thinking the same thing. It wasn't until he asked her to marry him that she realized that they had been on the same page. Carly hadn't wanted a big wedding. She would have been happy to go to the courthouse, but Richard insisted on giving her the wedding she deserved. Spencer had walked her down the aisle. She'd worn a dress of pale white fabric with lace and pearls. Nothing had ever felt more right as she stood beside him that day about to be his wife. They were married on August 12th, 2017, nearly five years, and Carly was joyously happy until recently when Carly began to feel the first naggings in her heart that she just couldn't shake. She was happy, but something inside her wouldn't let her believe it would last.

She felt it every day as she walked into her office. A kind of weight seemed to fall on her shoulders the second she stepped off the elevator. Even as she walked into her office that day, she felt it, and sitting at her desk Carly simply worked through it. She looked at the schedule, she double and triple checked it, and booked hotels, and made restaurant reservations. The day went by so quickly until her assistant walked in seeming to bring that same dark shadow of foreboding with her. As always, Carly sat behind her desk, she had kicked off her shoes, so her feet were bare beneath her desk, and as if on cue something came to confirm the heaviness in her heart. Her assistant's name was Shannon. She was very tall with blond hair with red streaks in it and pale white skin that she covered in makeup to hide just how pale it was. Carly immediately saw the grim look on her face, and she knew what it meant. Her hands cradled a file folder as Carly's stomach dropped just knowing what must have happened. She knew what Shannon was going to say but wished she wouldn't.

"We got a problem" Shannon said it clearly, the door she had come through opening again a moment later to reveal one of the girls that worked for her.

Tina stood in the doorway silently, she was staring at the ground, but Carly could see where she had been beaten all the same. These were the moments that she didn't like dealing with. Yet all the same, she found herself rising from her chair, and moving to put her shoes on.

She knew what she would have to do now.