"You have got to be joking… Please don't tell me this is real!" Tyler asked, now audibly scared, as Mei predicted.
"I'm not joking! I tried to change back twice. Each time, you guys would run away when a red sky appeared. And without you guys comforting me in my head, I can't change back."
"Try with your parents," Miriam prompted. "If we don't work this time, maybe actual relatives will help."
"I know, but… I just don't feel that close to my parents as others are. The whole 'helicopter parent' thing with my mother and such. My father's fine, but he's distant normally, so it wouldn't work with him alone."
"So that's it? You're just… stuck? In that case, can I hug you?" Abby asked, more enthusiastically than the situation called for. Priya and Miriam just rolled her eyes as Abby latched on to Mei.
"Yeah, I guess so," Mei murmured, not knowing what to feel. On one hand (or paw, she thought), she was her panda, her favorite form because she could be free. On the other, she was stuck like this indefinitely, and it would definitely get old fast.
"Uh, well, I have to go!" she said awkwardly, detaching from Abby. She ran as fast as she could off to the temple, with a scream of "Wait! What about us?" from Tyler.
Mei panted like she had run a kilometer, although most of it was probably the stress of the situation. She quickly opened the door and shut it behind her, trying not to rattle the house. Her mother, sitting in the living room still, looked at her weirdly. "Meimei, what happened?"
"I… uh… I…" she stammered. "I… uh…"
"Go on! Tell me!" Ming said impatiently, possibly concerned.
"So… I was with my friends after the pizza lunch and I saw teenagers beating up a grown man. I let my emotions control me, and chased the teenagers off."
"Mei, you know you shouldn't do that."
"But there's more. When I tried to change back, I… I couldn't."
Her mother's face paled at this new piece of info. "I thought you said you had it under control!"
"I do! But-"
"Aw, come here," Ming said, pulling her in for a hug, human body contrasting against the huge red panda's fur. "Are we doing something wrong? Are we just not powerful enough to help you change back?"
"Uh- no, it's not that. When I tried to change, a red sky appeared and, uh… you… ran away from it."
Ming cringed. "Oh, dear."
"What? What's wrong?"
"Well…" Ming hesitated. "Often, this is the sign of that the red panda has taken control. You remember me saying that the panda gets stronger every time you use it, right?"
Mei nodded.
"By stronger, I meant… you can't change out. Have you noticed it getting harder to change back lately?"
"Yes, but I thought that was just me being tired after using it a lot!"
"No, it was that. I never thought someone who kept it after the ritual could have that happen, but…"
"Well?! Is there a way I can change back?"
"There is, but… ah… there is something else I have to tell you about it."
"What now?!" Mei shouted in worry.
"Meimei, be quiet! Your father decided to take a nap while you were gone."
Mei nodded.
"So… in this state, you grow to a massive size exponentially. And before you ask, that's what happened to me when I was a child. That's why my panda is so big."
"You did this too?"
"Yes. But I wasn't the first. The first was in 1825, your 9-great-grandmother, Chang Lee. She was a little more adventurous, and decided to keep the panda. At that time, the ritual wasn't too reliable, so the family used a different method. We would knock the panda holder unconscious, and then a priest would send their mind to the forest where they would leave the panda. However, just like you, Chang was defiant and liked the panda. She never got rid of it. Later, she suffered the same fate as you, and her panda grew to a massive size, huger than even mine. It took a while to figure out how exactly to remedy it, but they soon figured out that the panda ritual can still happen if the participants are in panda form, but you can't simply knock them unconscious."
"But I don't want to get rid of the panda!" Mei tried to quietly yell.
"I'm sorry, Meimei, but you have to. That is the only way to get back to human."
"Well… maybe I don't want to be human!" Mei said with such ferocity that Ming drew back in shock that her daughter would even attempt speaking like that. "I like my panda, and I don't care if I have to sacrifice being human for it. This is me, mom. And I'm not giving up a part of me that can't be replaced."
Her mother's gaze suddenly softened. "That's how I felt, too. That's the whole reason me and your grandmother started to drift apart." Mei tried to talk in response, but Ming was about to tell a story, so she stayed quiet.
"Many years ago, when I was your age, maybe a little older, I had the panda, which we all thought was a curse. But I loved it the same way you do right now. It was about your panda's size, for reference. I kept mine in secret, dying my hair black to hide that the ritual didn't work. But my mother soon found out. She got so mad that I ran away, not leaving the panda to make her even madder."
Mei gasped. Her mother was one of the strictest parents in that section of Toronto. It was unbelievable to think that she had a wild side.
"There's more. Wu finally found me, and gave me a lecture, but by that time, it was too late. The hold of the panda had started to take effect, and I couldn't change back. And I was growing. I hadn't noticed it, but she definitely did. I was almost a foot taller than I was two weeks before."
Ming stopped to let that sink in, then continued.
"She finally brought me back, but she didn't know how to fix it. It was only until I grew as big as the temple that she figured it out, and I grew faster by the day. You know that hole in the roof that was patched up over the couch? That was me, in my panda phase. I had to go outside to even move around, and it became increasingly harder to keep it a secret. So I went to the backyard, and we held the ritual there on a concrete floor we constructed. But I was almost too big. I could see over the temple. And I think, to this very day, it is still growing."
"So that's-"
"Yep, that's Pandazilla in a nutshell. It never stopped growing."
"So I'm stuck like this?" Mei yelled, not caring about her father anymore.
"No, you're not," Ming said, trying to calm her down. "We just have to perform the ritual and get rid of-"
"WE'RE NOT DOING THAT!" Mei growled in anger. "The panda is the only thing letting me be myself. If we get rid of it, I'll… I'll run away for good!"
Jin was about to open the door, but closed it immediately, fearing for his health. Ming was quiet, taking her outburst in, while Mei was panting heavily.
"Young lady…" Ming started to say in the "strict mom" voice, but was cut off by Mei. "DON'T YOUNG LADY ME! I am allowed to have opinions, and my opinion is to never let this go. Good day," Mei said as she walked into her bedroom, banging her head on the top of the doorway and almost cursing.
Once inside, she started to scream inside. WHY DID I DO THAT?!