yes.
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then that brings us back to the previous question.
why don't they always apologize when it's their fault ?
They made a mistake and don't know it's their fault.
is that it ?
that one reason ?
No, there has to be difference, there has to be more.
well according to paige, apologizing is a sign of strength, not weakness.
so NOT apologizing is a sign of weakness ?
they don't apologize because they're too weak to do it ?
Not necessarily. not necessarily.
then why is apologizing a sign of strength ?
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*he tries another angle of reasoning*
well we know because of difference that not all apologizing is a sign of strength.
so which kinds of apology are ?
and what are the other kinds a sign of ?
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*he tries another angle of reasoning*
Why does one apologize ?
to end a conflict.
How does one apologize ?
you express regret for your actions and mistakes.
what if you haven't made a mistake in that conflict ?
The conflict still ends.
so a conflict ends when one side apologizes, whether they actually made a mistake is irrelevant.
is that the only way a conflict can end ?
No.
There other ways a conflict ends, for example.
Wars can end when one side wins over the other, or one side surrenders to prevent further casualities.
Political conflicts end when one side wins over the other or one side conceeds to the other.
A conflict of reasoning ends when one side's reasoning is proven right or wrong or one side conceeds to the other's reasoning, same with conflicts in thoughts and beliefs.
what do they all have in common ?
One side wins or admits loss, or one side wants to end the conflict even if they're right.
in which case the other side wins and they become the losing side.
they take the highway, the easy way out of a conflict, they show weakness and the other takes advantage of it.
apologizing to end a conflict when it's not your fault is a sign of weakness.
And by that logic, apologizing when it IS your fault is a sign of strength.
it makes sense, it's easy to take the high road and end a conflict, but much harder to actually acknowledge all your faults.
so the reason people don't apologize to me when it's their fault is because I apologize first ?
i show weakness and they take advantage of it because they're too weak to acknowledge their faults ?
Yes. yes.
then i shouldn't apologize to anyone until i actually know what i did wrong, otherwise i'd be letting them take advantage of me.
yes, that makes sense.
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then why would the people close to me take advantage of me ?
if it's not always my fault, why do they make it seem so ?
they couldn't have made a mistake each and every time and thought it was my fault.
logically there had to have been times they knew it wasn't my fault.
why do they take advantage of the weakness i express ?
i never took advantage of their weakness.
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maybe they're not as close as you thought they were.
maybe they're not actually safe people to show weakness around.
maybe they're not people you can leave your bac-
"aahhh" walter felt a sharp pain in his left wrist, the bracelet tazed him just as it was designed to do, he then started inhaling and exhaling sharply, he was taking in large amounts of air, but it wasn't anywhere as bad as the first two times, he didn't feel as lightheaded as when he was infront of the board, he wasn't gonna faint, the safety measure was working!
but his last bit of thought stuck in his mind. they're not as close as he thought they were? they're not safe to show weakness around? that can't be true right?!
but the facts are there, they're undeniable. it wasn't always his fault, he remembered the time paige left him after ralph put himself in danger, how she blamed him for it saying she didn't want ralph to be like him, how was he supposed to know that ralph was there? he was stopping a terrorist with gun pointed at him on the opposite side of the building to where ralph was, if anything it was the fault of the school that couldn't keep an eye on him, paige was smart enough to know that, and yet she still yelled at him and left, and just a day later she came back like nothing happened and he didn't talk about it with her later as weeks have passed, she didn't apologize and he let it go. he remembered the time he and toby used to fight two years ago, how he thought it was all his fault, how he kept apologizing, how toby said he couldn't take the guilt anymore when he apologized and told him it wasn't his fault, so he showed so much weakness that toby took PITY on him?!?! how many other times were like that? how many other times did they take advantage of his weakness? and how many times did he let them off the hook for their faults? scratch that, he didn't even put them on the hook to let them off it, he always gave them a free pass. he didn't know how to do anything else. is that how pitiful he always was?! is that how pitiful they found him?! that they'd only apologize for their mistakes after he apologizes first?! even if it's not his fault?!
Well not this time! he wasn't gonna apologize until he knew what he did wrong. and if he wasn't the one to blame then like hell was he gonna apologize again.
that then got him thinking, was this whole mess his fault alone? , he wasn't stupid enough to think he had no faults. but now he knew for certain, it wasn't his fault alone. did paige carry some of the fault too? , and the others? and if so, how much of the blame does everyone carry? , what did he do wrong to deserve this? did he even deserve this? he wanted to go back into the rabbit hole to think deeply about it. he didn't have a certain answer at the moment. but he knew one thing for certain.
if he doesn't turn out to be the wrong side, he wasn't gonna apologize first at all, like hell was he gonna show anymore weakness, he wasn't gonna blame himself anymore.
his days of giving free passes are over.