Neither Professor Professor nor Doctor Doctor could believe it. It was already New Year's Day 2090. Before either of them even knew it, Zoë would be celebrating her first birthday. Time seemed to fly by so fast, especially when it came to raising a child. This was especially true when it came to getting that child to reach as many milestones as possible.

Getting Zoë into the high chair had certainly been easy enough. However, the same couldn't be said for everything else. She'd been fine with bottles, sucking away, and falling asleep in her mother's arms, but now she'd been throwing most of the baby food. Even if the deposit on the flat was probably gone by now (and that was assuming all those mishaps in the home laboratory didn't factor into the missing deposit), Doctor Doctor couldn't help but admire her aim.

"I don't say this lightly, but you are absolutely phenomenal at throwing from long distances," Doctor Doctor said. "How would you feel about pursuing tennis, perhaps? Or maybe cricket? Well, if you're seriously considering a future in either of those sports, then might I suggest some fuel? Because you can't perform well without fuel." She opened up the jar and lifted up a little red plastic spoon. "Ooh, look at this! I have faith you'll love this. Now open wide. This is the best thing in the world, even better than putting pasta in someone's ears. Don't quote me on that one. Who am I kidding? You might understand me, but I should probably count my blessings that you can't talk yet. It's actually better than... damn, what is it babies like again? Oh yes, naps! It's better than naps." She lifted up the red bowl of baby food like she was lifting up a championship trophy. "This is some good stuff right here. Quality baby stuff. Now open up please!"

Zoë seemed seriously unimpressed by all this talk from the looks of it. She looked like she was expressing a resting bitch face.

"Uh-oh, I think I know where you get that from. Oh well, could be worse, I suppose. Now are you going to eat this or not?"

Zoë pulled away with the beginning of a sob. Her entire face was contorted as Doctor Doctor drew the spoon over her lower lip.

"Okay, fine. Guess I'll have to eat this in front of you." Without hesitation, Doctor Doctor just placed a spoonful of baby food in her mouth. Within seconds, she found herself retching. "I've made a terrible mistake."

This was by far the absolute worst thing the former baddie had ever had; and this was coming from someone who'd eaten seals, penguins, orcas, and even Mildred's baking before. She fully puked it out almost as quickly as she'd eaten it.

"Christ, that was awful... I had no idea it was that bad. No worries, I think I can salvage this." Doctor Doctor wiped the vomit off her mouth with her arm before then leaning in to kiss Zoë on the forehead. "Hold on, I need to make a phone call. I'll be right back and hopefully with much better food."

She quickly pulled out her phone and dialed Choccy Milk's number. He picked up on the first ring.

"Choccy Milk, I need your help," Doctor Doctor said.

"Of course," Choccy Milk replied. "But first, I need to tell you my new name. As I'm sure you already know, for reasons of security, my name is Changed Daily. Today, you may call me..." A beep could be heard on the other end. "Oh... Fraven Pooth."

Doctor Doctor burst out laughing for a few seconds, then quickly forced herself to calm down. "So... Fraven Pooth, I need your help on something."

"Which would be...?"

"Well, surely, you know a thing or two about baby food, right? Instead of that mushy manufactured crap, couldn't I give Zoë something like a baby pizza or baby pelmeni?"

"Surely, and maybe you can give her tiny designer cars with baby wine. Regular wine could be just as effective, though."

"Ha ha, very funny. Can you cut the crap, please? I really need your help! Can you recommend anything I can give my daughter instead of this manufactured shit? I accidentally got some and I puked it up and now I'll never get that taste out of my mouth."

"Hmm, why don't you feed her like a bird? I've done that with Deidre sometimes."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that? I can't really chew anymore."

"Guess you could smush whatever food you have into a paste and feed it to Zoë like that."

"Actually, forget I asked. Also, fuck you."

Doctor Doctor just hung up in disgust without letting Fraven Pooth get another word in. She called Professor Professor next. He picked up on the third ring.

"Ja, ja, this is Professor Professor," he greeted.

Doctor Doctor breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. I need your help."

"What? What is it? What happened? What did you do?" There was a slight pause. "Did something happen with Zoë?"

"No, no, no, nothing like that. Do you think you could get some different baby food than the one I tried to feed her? I accidentally got a taste of the peas flavor. It's awful. I wouldn't even feed this to my worst enemy."

"I don't see why not. I'll buy some different brands of baby food at Tesco on the way home. Are you sure you can handle this on your own? I could call Maggie and ask her to come over to help you, though I don't want to impose too much..."

"I'm fine! Don't worry about me. I've handled way riskier things than this. Besides, I doubt you'd want to be diverted away from whatever your latest mission is."

Professor Professor did a small laugh. "Well, this mission isn't as daunting as other missions before it. Right now, we're trying to thwart the evil plans of a musical sorceress whose soul is stored inside a vinyl record. Anyway, clear your schedule; I'm bringing dinner home."

"Just the words I wanna hear. You working late again?"

"Not this time. I've got more normalized hours now. I never thought I'd see the day..."

"Music to my ears."

"You're such a flirt."

"Only for you, Professor. Everyone else is shit out of luck."

Professor Professor broke out laughing as they said their last goodbyes. Doctor Doctor walked away from the phone conversation, seeming to understand that while this parenting thing wasn't easy and even somewhat stressful, it could also be rewarding.