jack of hearts

by radpineapple

Team Free Will meets Jack without knowing he's Lucifer's son, and Jack feels like he can't tell them who he really is, but his secret nearly destroys him. Or, an angsty, self-indulgent soulless!Jack fic.

On the night of his mother's death, all there is is blood. Jack is born covered in blood. His mother isn't even alive when he looks at her for the first time. At first, he doesn't think it's possible since he had just heard her screaming. And then he hears noises downstairs. There are angels. Two humans. The humans are vaguely familiar. His angel is there. The one he wants to call father. Castiel. But then…Jack senses Lucifer. He is near. And he is getting closer.

"We gotta repel these fuckers!" It's the older human.

"Cas, are you okay if we do this?" The younger one.

"Yes." It's Castiel. Jack wants to go to him. "But wait for Lucifer."

And then Lucifer is there. His presence is something horrible. It's red. Like blood.

Then all of the angels are gone in a terrible flash of light. Even Castiel.

"You good?" The older human says. "Sammy! You good?"

"Yeah," Sammy pants. "Yeah, Dean. I'm good."

"Okay, good." There's a slight pause, and Dean's tone changes to something more commanding. "We have to kill the thing upstairs."

"What? Dean…are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything in my damn life."

And then they're coming up the stairs.

Jack flies away.

OOOOOOO

He finds the humans again because he can't find Castiel. Well, he can, but Castiel is moving around too much for Jack to catch up to him. He can't fly very far yet. These humans are Castiel's friends. So, Jack will see him at some point. At least Jack really, really hopes so.

The humans don't recognize him. No one can. Not even Castiel. Jack looks human. He tells himself he is. He tries to help Sam and Dean on a Hunt. He doesn't do very well, but they offer to let him live with them when they realize he has no one to go to. At least, Sam does. Dean is reluctant. They tell him it's temporary.

Dean is upset, and he and Sam get into a fight when they get back from the Hunt. Sam tells Dean he needs "to get his shit together" and that Sam and Jack are going out.

Dean glares and mumbles, "Fine. I don't care."

They don't take the Impala, and Sam drives too fast. His shoulders are tense, and he glares at the road with enough intensity to start a fire. They drive around for a few minutes before Sam asks Jack if he wants to go to a bookstore. Jack tells Sam he's never been to one before.

That's how Jack finds himself holding a book with a colorful cover. Jack's never seen words before. He's only heard them; that's how he can talk. He isn't sure how to read, but he knows he can learn like he did with talking.

"You like that one?" Sam is beside him, holding a couple books of his own.

"I don't know. What do you think?" Jack hands it to Sam.

Sam studies Jack a moment before turning the book over and silently reading the words on the back. When he's finished reading, Sam shrugs. "It's a pretty basic YA novel. The teenage hero doesn't fit in but saves the world. He probably gets the girl."

Jack doesn't know what a YA novel is. He tentatively takes his book back. "Oh. Is that good?"

"Why don't you decide? I'll buy it for you."

"Wait, really?" He looks up at Sam in awe.

Jack's reaction seems to surprise Sam, and Sam smiles. "Yeah, Jack."

Jack grins. "Thank you."

The line to buy the books is long. There's only one cashier.

"Sam," Jack says. "Is Dean okay?"

Sam sighs. "Yeah. He's just… It's our friend Cas. He and Dean are fighting about something, and Dean's upset about it."

Jack frowns. "Oh. Then why did Dean yell at you?"

Sam looks surprised again. "He's taking his anger out on me. I know he doesn't mean it."

"Well, he shouldn't do that."

Sam chuckles, but he doesn't seem happy. "No, he shouldn't. He learned it from our dad." The second sentence is quiet. Almost like Sam hadn't meant to say it out loud.

OOOOOOO

Jack is sitting on the floor and tying his shoes when Dean comes into his room.

"You ready to leave?" Dean asks.

Jack nods, quickly finishing the knot. "Yes." When he looks up, Dean is frowning. "What?"

"Are those the only shoes you have?"

Jack looks down at his feet. The box had said the shoes were called Converse. They're black, and Jack had to tape the souls together since they're falling apart. The laces are frayed. He got all his clothes for free. After he flew away when his mom died, Jack had no clothes. Or family. He wanted to call out to Castiel, but he was afraid Lucifer might hear. The night was cold, but he found a few humans huddled around a fire inside an old building. They all gawked at his nakedness. Only one woman was kind enough to give him a blanket. Her name is Gloria. The next day, she took him to a store called Goodwill. She taught him how to steal. Jack wanted to stay with her, but he knew she was in danger if he was near. Lucifer is looking for him. He won't put Gloria in danger.

Jack answers Dean, "Yes."

Dean stares a second more before saying, "Take 'em off." Before Jack can argue, Dean walks away.

Jack begins to untie his shoes. Is Dean going to make him Hunt barefoot?

"Here." Dean is back and holding out a pair of tan boots.

Jack stands up and takes them. "What are these for?"

"They're yours."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Can't have you Hunting in freakin' Converse."

Jack smiles at him and sits down. He puts the boots on. Tying them takes longer than the Converse, but they fit more snugly. He can already tell they're sturdier too.

Dean asks, "Do they fit?"

Still smiling, Jack looks up and answers, "Yes! Thank you, Dean."

Dean shifts and rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, sure." He swallows before saying, "And after this Hunt, how about we get you some new clothes?"

"Oh." Jack frowns and stands. "But I don't have money. And you need money to buy things. But I can steal."

Dean's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Uh, yeah, no stealing. At least not like that. And me and Sam got you covered."

"Thank you!" Jack surges forward and hugs Dean.

After a beat, Dean hugs him back.

OOOOOOO

They eat ice cream after they go clothes shopping for Jack. Jack had never been to a mall before, and it was exciting but overwhelming at times. They went into a candle store and all the different scents gave Jack a headache. Dean bought a candle, and Sam teased him about it until Dean snapped and said it wasn't for him and that it was for Castiel. But that only made the mischievous twinkle in Sam's eyes sparkle more. Then Dean turned red and told him to shut up.

Jack's favorite store is called Claire's. Dean looked uncomfortable the entire time they were in there, and Sam thought it was funny.

It's sunny but cold, so they're eating their ice cream in the Impala. Dean threatened to chop off hands if anyone spills ice cream in his Baby. Jack thought he was serious until Sam told him Dean was kidding. But even then, Jack isn't so sure. Dean keeps glancing back at Jack and his ice cream nervously.

Sam's phone rings, and he perks up.

"Who's got you all excited?" Dean asks.

Sam blushes. "Eileen."

Dean smiles. It's warm, and there's a glow in Dean's eyes. Jack realizes this is the first time Dean's smiled for real. Dean says, "Tell her hi for me."

Sam gets out of the car, and Jack notices it's a video call. Sam keeps making exaggerated hand movements, but there's a weird deliberate way to them like it's not natural for Sam to do.

"What's Sam doing?" Jack asks.

"Talking to Eileen?" Dean sounds confused.

"Yes, but…" Jack tilts his head as he studies Sam's movements.

"Do you mean the sign language?"

"The what?" He looks at Dean again.

"Eileen has a hearing disability, so she uses her hands to talk sometimes. It's called sign language."

"Oh." Jack takes a bite of ice cream. "I want to learn it."

Dean laughs. "Easier said than done, kid."

"I'll do it," Jack reassures him.

Dean chuckles and shakes his head. "If you say so."

They meet Eileen for dinner, and she's funny and smart, and Sam can't look away from her. She teaches Jack a few signs, and he asks her what her favorites are. That seems to surprise her, and she says no one's asked her that before. So she teaches all three of them her favorites. Dean asks her to teach him swear words, and Sam groans.

They don't do a lot of signing when the food comes, but Jack keeps repeating what he's learned in his head so he won't forget. Sam invites Eileen to spend the night at the bunker, and she says no, and Sam seems sad. But then she says she will next time. That cheers Sam up. Dean suddenly brings Jack back to the Impala to give Sam and Eileen "some time alone." But Jack and Dean still see them kiss through the diner window.

OOOOOOO

Dean's cooking, but he doesn't have table salt, and he doesn't want to use the Hunting salt. He orders Sam to go buy salt, but Sam said he's already in his pajamas and won't go out. Dean gravely gives Jack the Impala keys and tells him to be careful on his way to the store.

Jack stares at the keys still dangling from Dean's hand. "I can't drive."

"What?" Sam and Dean both say.

"I can't drive."

"Well, shit," Dean says. He looks at Sam then.

Sam sighs. "Fine, but Jack is coming with me."

"Yeah, yeah."

The next day, Dean takes Jack out to a parking lot and starts to teach him to drive. Dean seems nervous at first but soon becomes more comfortable. Afterwards, he lets Jack drive the Impala on the road back to the bunker. Jack knows he's going slow, but he uses the turn signals at the right spots and puts the parking brake on when they get back.

Jack turns to Dean, smiling. "Thank you, Dean!"

Dean smiles back. It's a real smile. "You're welcome, kid. You're doing great. A few more lessons, and I'll let you drive on a Hunt."

"Really?"

Dean's smile widens. "Yeah, really."

OOOOOOO

"If I have to read another word, I'll become a ghost myself to end this Hunt." Dean slams his book closed. The motel table is littered with books, sticky notes, and empty Starbucks cups. "Jack, let's go get some grub." Dean stands and starts to put on his jacket.

"But I want to stay," Jack says.

Dean frowns. "We've been researching for hours. Don't you want to go out?"

Jack shakes his head and looks back down at his book. He can read now. Just English and Latin, but he's trying to learn Greek. "No. Researching is the best part of the Hunt."

"What," Dean says. He looks seriously offended.

"Yes," Jack insists.

Sam's laughing. "Have fun getting dinner. I vote Subway."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Unbelievable. I get stuck with the nerdiest people on the planet." Dean grabs his keys. "Text me the sandwiches you guys want."

"Thank you, Dean," Jack says.

Dean grins. "You're welcome...nerd."

"Get out of here," Sam says, smiling. He throws a wad of napkins at Dean.

Dean dodges it and laughs as he opens the door.

OOOOOOO

Jack doesn't need as much sleep as Dean and Sam. He's bored and hungry, so he sets up Sam's iPad in the kitchen and finds a cookie recipe. He's never made cookies before. He's never baked anything before.

He's rolling the dough into balls when he senses a presence outside the bunker. Jack grabs the biggest knife in the kitchen and quietly makes his way towards the stairs. He should probably wake the Winchesters, but the presence is closer. He's at the map table when the door opens.

Castiel steps through the door. He sees Jack. They lock eyes. Castiel is at the top of the stairs. Jack is downstairs next to the table.

And Jack doesn't know what to do. He recognizes Castiel, but Castiel doesn't recognize him. It also doesn't help that Jack is holding a knife.

"Um, hello," Castiel says. "Are you a friend of the Winchesters?"

"Yes."

Castiel smiles reassuringly. "So am I. I'm Castiel."

Jack doesn't know what to say. He has so much he needs to tell Castiel. He wants to run up the stairs and hug him. He wants to tell Castiel everything that's happened since he's been born. He wants to reach his grace out to touch Castiel's. But he doesn't want to scare the angel by being overly affectionate. Jack's learned from Sam and Dean that hugs are rare and kind words are rarer.

The silence between them stretches, and Jack knows he has to say something.

"Cas?"

Dean is blinking and sleepily staggering into the room. His hair is ruffled from sleep, and he doesn't have his robe on.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel makes his way down the stairs, and Dean walks over to him. Jack thinks they're going to hug, but they just stare at each other while they stand less than a foot apart.

"Dean?" It's Sam this time. He looks just as rumpled as Dean. He smiles when he sees Castiel. "Cas!"

Castiel directs his smile at Sam, and they hug.

They pull apart, and Sam says, "It's so nice to see you."

"You as well," Castiel replies. Castiel flicks his gaze to Jack before looking back at the brothers.

"Oh, uh," Dean begins, "this is Jack. He's a Hunter. Stayin' with us for now."

Castiel smiles at Jack. But he looks tired. "Hi, Jack."

Jack waves. "Hi, Castiel." Jack still wants to hug him.

"Wait, Jack," Dean says. "What were you doing awake?"

"Baking cookies."

"At 3am?" Sam asks.

"Um, yes." It's beginning to occur to Jack that it's unusual to bake things at 3am.

Then Dean asks, "What kind?"

"Chocolate chip."

Dean grins. "Awesome."

Sam gives Dean a look. Jack knows this is the I can ignore this for now but we need to talk about it later look.

Dean ignores him and looks back at Jack. "Why don't you finish the cookies? Sam and I have to talk to Cas about a couple things."

Jack nods. "Okay." He looks at Castiel again.

Castiel smiles a small, polite smile. Jack can definitely tell the angel is tired now. "It was nice to meet you, Jack."

"You too."

Jack overhears their conversation as he finishes baking his cookies. They're talking about the Nephilim.

OOOOOOO

Jack's cookies aren't great. Sam eats one, and Dean eats six. Jack offers some to Castiel, but the angel says he can't taste like humans can. Jack wonders if he can taste like humans can, or if he tastes something different too.

Castiel says he can't stay for long, but Dean persuades him to stay another night. Dean is practically glued to Castiel's side. Dean takes Castiel with him when he goes grocery shopping, does the laundry, and cooks dinner. Jack wants to talk to Castiel alone, but he doesn't get the chance. It seems like Castiel wants to be with Dean too. Jack stays in his room and finally reads the book he got at the bookstore with Sam.

Jack comes out of his room for dinner. Castiel is sitting at the table. The candle Dean got him at the mall is beside him. It's unlit.

"Hi," Jack says and sits across from him.

"Hello," Castiel answers.

Jack thinks this is his chance to finally speak with Castiel alone, but then Sam walks in and sits beside Jack. Sam and Castiel start their own conversation.

Dinner is amazing, but Dean doesn't seem to believe the compliments he's given.

After they eat, Dean announces it's a movie night, and no one can skip out. He looks at Sam when he says the last part.

They all pile into the Dean Cave. Sam sits on the recliner and begins to peel a tangerine.

Dean and Castiel are on the couch, and Jack sits next to Castiel.

The movie is one Dean's shown Jack before. It's old, but all movies seem old to Jack. Jack hasn't heard of any of the movies Dean suggests, so Dean thinks Jack just hasn't seen "the classics". But in reality, Jack hasn't seen any movies before he lived in the bunker.

The dinner weighs heavily in Jack's stomach, and he feels himself nodding off not even halfway through the movie. He fights to stay awake, but the next thing he knows, Castiel is saying his name. Jack blinks and sees the credits of the movie scrolling up the screen. Jack realizes he's leaning against Castiel and gripping onto Castiel's arm with both of his hands.

Jack jerks away. "I'm sorry."

Castiel reaches over and squeezes Jack's arm. "It's okay." Castiel is looking at him softly. There's a content smile on his face.

Jack smiles back.

"Okay, kid," Dean is saying. He stands up and stretches. His shirt rides up, exposing a sliver of skin. Castiel looks at it. Dean continues, "You need to go to bed."

Jack frowns. He doesn't want to. He wants to stay up with Castiel.

Dean sees his expression and says, "No arguments. You're tired. And no baking cookies before 7am, okay?"

Jack huffs. "Okay."

Sam stands up now. "G'night, guys."

"Goodnight, Sam," Castiel says.

Jack gets up and so does Castiel.

"Will you be here in the morning?" Dean's looking at Castiel when he asks it.

"No. I need to leave. Every second the child is without me, he is in danger."

"Maybe he is the danger."

Castiel sighs. "Dean, I don't want to do this right now."

Dean glances at Jack. "Yeah, fine. See you around, I guess."

"Dean—"

But Dean leaves the room.

Castiel sighs again, and he looks so sad. Before Jack can stop himself, he hugs Castiel. Castiel stiffens but eventually returns Jack's embrace. Jack pulls away too soon.

"Goodnight, Castiel."

"Goodnight, Jack."

Castiel is gone when Jack wakes up the next morning.

OOOOOOO

Last night Sam, Dean, and Castiel had a fight again. Well, it was more of Dean and Castiel fighting and Sam trying to keep the peace. It's the same fight it always is. Dean says they need to kill the Nephilim. Castiel tells Dean no and asks why Dean can't just trust him. That leads to ugly words. Then Sam steps in to stop them. They usually do stop and end up glaring at each other. Then Castiel will leave, following an imaginary lead. Dean will sulk until Sam finds them a Hunt. Dean never goes looking for the Nephilim to kill it. Sam researches Nephilim lore when things are slow, but they all know there are no new leads, and nothing will change until something happens. But nothing will happen. Because Jack is right here. And then Castiel will return in a couple weeks only for the cycle to repeat.

Jack just wants Castiel to stay. He asked Castiel to stay once, but Castiel told him he can't rest until the Nephilim is found. Jack considered telling Castiel who he really is then like he has other times. But then he didn't. He knows Castiel will give up and eventually come home, and they can all live together like how it's supposed to be. Jack just has to be patient.

But last night was different. Apparently, they found a solid lead on the Nephilim. Only Jack knows it isn't a real lead. Dean argued his way into joining Castiel by telling him that Castiel can approach the Nephilim first while Dean hangs back. If the Nephilim is as evil as Dean thinks it is, then they can kill it. Dean believes that's how it will go. Castiel doesn't. Jack isn't sure how Dean plans on determining whether an infant is evil, since all three of them believe the Nephilim is a baby.

It's too dangerous for Jack to go apparently. So this morning Sam, Dean, and Castiel leave. The bunker is too quiet, so Jack goes to Walmart to buy groceries. He's hoping to buy the sugary cereal he and Dean both like. It's the first time Jack's been to Walmart alone.

"Wow, I knew that little explosion in Utah would get them scrambling, but I didn't think they'd go so soon."

Jack freezes. It's him. It's his father. It's Lucifer standing in the middle of the cereal aisle. Jack has never met him, but he recognizes him right away.

"Go away," Jack says.

Lucifer laughs. "Oh, Jack. That's no way to talk to your dear old dad, now is it?"

Lucifer steps closer. He smells of sulfur and blood and something dark and timeless. He's in Jack's personal space, but Jack doesn't back away. Jack glares at him.

Lucifer grabs Jack's shoulder. "Here's how it's going to go. You're going to leave the three stooges a little note saying you needed to leave for some 'me time' or 'self-discovery' or something poetic like that."

"And if I don't?"

Lucifer grins and leans forward. "I'll fly on over to Utah—it'll only take a second—and I'll kill them." He snaps his fingers. "Just. Like. That."

And Jack can't stop him. He's only used his wings once before: the night his mom died. He barely knows how to fly. Lucifer can kill his family, and Jack is helpless.

Lucifer speaks, "Look, son. It's not going to be so bad." He places his other hand on Jack's other shoulder. "We'll have fun. And—" Lucifer plucks the cereal from Jack's basket. "You can have as much cereal as you want. Sound like a deal?"

"I hate you."

Lucifer laughs. "We'll see about that. Now…" Lucifer steps back and rubs his hands together. "Let's write that note, shall we? And no hidden 'help me, the Devil has me' messages. I'm going to proofread it."

OOOOOOO

Jack doesn't get all the cereal he wants. He hardly gets any food at all. After Jack refused to do the things Lucifer wanted him to do, Lucifer hurt him. And he doesn't stop. The days blend together. Jack never gets enough sleep. He never knows if it's day or night. He's kept in a windowless room with nothing but a bed. It doesn't even have blankets.

Jack is hungry. So hungry. His stomach hurts, and he feels weak. His body is covered in bruises, and it hurts to breathe. He thinks he might have broken ribs. He knows he'd heal faster if he had food. Part of him doesn't want food. Healing faster means Lucifer can start hurting him again.

Jack is lying in bed curled with his back to the wall. He likes to see the door, so he can be ready for when Lucifer walks into his room. Jack's come to dread the sound of Lucifer's footsteps walking down the hall. Jack can hear them for exactly forty-nine seconds before the Devil enters his room. Jack knows he does it on purpose too. Lucifer can just fly in. But he doesn't. The suspense is part of the torture.

Jack's in a strange painful, sleepy haze. He's not fully conscious, but he's cold, and his body hurts too much to completely fall asleep. He wants blankets. He wants his bed. He misses his room. He misses Castiel.

But he can't call for Castiel. Lucifer made it very clear that if Jack tried to get help, Lucifer would kill the Winchesters and Castiel and anyone who helped him. Jack cut off his tie to Castiel and his grace. It's for Castiel's safety. But Jack misses it. He wants to be near the angel again. He wants to feel his warmth and comfort. But he hasn't felt that since he's been in his mother's womb.

The flutter of wings announces Lucifer's arrival.

Jack jumps.

Why did Lucifer fly this time?

Something's different.

Something's wrong.

"Shh, shh, my son," Lucifer says. "Lay down."

Jack hesitates before laying back down. His heart is beating wildly.

Lucifer reaches a hand down onto Jack's stomach. And then Lucifer's hand goes inside him. But not inside him. Lucifer doesn't reach into Jack's physical body. There is no blood. But there is pain. This is the worst pain Jack's felt so far. He screams and tries to move away, but he's pinned with the invisible force of Lucifer's power.

"Please," Jack gasps.

Lucifer's hand starts to pull out of him. But Jack feels something inside him coming out with Lucifer's hand.

"Lucifer—"

"That's not what you call me."

"Father, please."

Lucifer doesn't respond but continues to slowly pull his arm out of Jack. Something is unraveling from Jack's core. Before Jack knows it, Lucifer is holding something bright and golden. It hurts to look at. Jack can feel the gaping hole of where it should be. It needs to fit right into his center. It needs to fill him up. Now he feels strangely empty. Almost calm.

"F-father?"

"I'm hiding this away somewhere you'll never find it." Lucifer disappears.

OOOOOOO

Enduring the torture is easy after that. It just hurts for a little and then it's done. Jack used to get so…emotional about it. He would dread it. He would cry. He would feel lonely. He would miss Castiel. He would hate Lucifer.

Jack doesn't feel those things anymore. At least not very strongly. But he might still hate Lucifer. He's not quite sure.

Jack is allowed to leave his room now. He doesn't feel the urge to fly away anyway. Jack is sitting beside one of the windows. There's a garden outside. But the flowers are dead. They wouldn't be dead if there were bees. Castiel likes bees. Jack thinks he should miss Castiel. Maybe he does. But only a little. It used to be a lot.

The main door bursts open, and Lucifer walks in, dragging a demon along behind him. It's a powerful demon, that much Jack can tell.

"Hello, my boy!" Lucifer beams.

Jack smiles but only because he thinks he should.

Lucifer continues, "I brought you a snack."

Jack frowns. "I can't eat that."

Lucifer tosses the demon down. "Well, no. But you will drink him."

The demon looks to Jack then. Its eyes are a cloudy yellow.

Lucifer explains, "This is Asmodeus. He used to be a loyal subject of mine. I recruited him personally when he was still human. But, the second things went south, he bailed on me! Can you believe that?" Lucifer tsks. "He showed up after I had you," Lucifer says while looking at Jack. He looks back down. "But I know he isn't really loyal. Isn't that right, Asmodeus?"

Asmodeus glares at Lucifer silently.

Lucifer laughs. His eyes are twinkling when he looks at Jack. "Drink his blood, son."

Jack opens his mouth and tilts his head in confusion. "I…can't."

"Yes, you can. You just haven't tried yet."

Jack looks at Asmodeus. "How? Do I use a straw?"

Lucifer laughs. "No. Bite him here. Then suck." Lucifer taps the side of his own neck.

Jack nods and slowly kneels beside the demon.

Asmodeus glares at him, but Jack can see the fear behind his eyes.

Jack pushes Asmodeus, so the demon is laying down. Jack places a hand just below his jaw and another on his collarbone. He glances up at Lucifer.

Lucifer grins and nods.

Jack looks back down at the demon's neck. He narrows his eyes. He sees the vein. Jack leans down and bites.

It's warm and wet and thick. He swallows.

It tastes….

Jack drinks more. Is this good? It doesn't taste like anything he's had before. It's not like human food. It's like…it's like when water tastes good.

But then Jack feels it.

He gasps and pulls back. He quickly looks at Lucifer. "What…" His blood feels…alive. He can feel it coursing through his veins. His heart is beating quickly as if he's been running. But it's good. He feels strong. "There's power in his blood."

Lucifer smiles widely. "There is. Now drink up. Wouldn't want it to go to waste, now would we?"

OOOOOOO

Jack doesn't realize how good Asmodeus' blood was until he has another demon's. He pulls away from the demon's neck. There is demon blood on Jack's face, but he doesn't wipe it away. There is something wrong with this demon.

Jack glances up at Lucifer. "I don't understand. I drank all of it. But it's…it's not like last time."

Lucifer sighs. "No. Asmodeus was a Prince of Hell. The most powerful demon left. None of the others will compare to him."

Jack frowns. "Do I just drink more then?"

Lucifer grins. "Yes."

OOOOOOO

Lucifer likes to give Jack demon blood in fancy cups. He calls them presents.

OOOOOOO

One day Jack leaves his room and there's a kitchen table that wasn't there before. There's no furniture here except for Jack's bed. The table is lavishly decorated with an intricate table cloth and real silver utensils. Lucifer is sitting at the end.

Lucifer smiles. "Come, Jack. I have a surprise for you."

Jack sits at the opposite end of the table from Lucifer. "Blood?" But there's a plate with a silver, dome-shaped cover over it.

"Nope. Go on. Uncover it."

Jack uncovers his plate. "A…heart? Is this human?"

"Is that a problem?"

"No." Jack pokes it with his fork. He sets the fork down. "I…eat it?"

"Yes!" Lucifer is too enthusiastic.

"Okay." Jack grabs the heart with his hand and takes a bite. He chews thoughtfully. "It is…good."

"Don't speak with your mouth full."

Jack nods. He swallows. He takes another bite but almost chokes. He quickly finishes chewing and swallows. "The power," he says breathlessly. It's a small echo of what Asmodeus felt like, but it's more than the demon blood gives him.

"It's amazing, no?"

Jack nods. "I think…I think I like it more than the blood."

"Good. I'm glad you do."

OOOOOOO

Jack doesn't sleep. But he doesn't tell Lucifer. He likes the quiet. He also likes to be alone. He doesn't like being with Lucifer. Jack is sure that he hates him now.

Jack's mouth has been hurting for a few days. Well…not hurting exactly. It just feels uncomfortable. One night, it feels worse than normal, so Jack leaves his room.

"Father?" Jack calls.

Lucifer appears at his side. Jack flinches. He's reminded of the torture. And how Lucifer is never far away. Sometimes, Jack feels like he's free, but deep down he knows he really isn't.

Lucifer answers, "Yes, my son?"

"Something's wrong."

"What? What do you mean?"

"My mouth."

Lucifer suddenly yanks him forward by his arm. "Open."

Jack obeys and opens his mouth.

Lucifer laughs. "I'll be damned!" Jack thinks it's a weird thing for the Devil to say.

"What?"

"You're growing fangs! Your body must be adapting to your steady diet of hearts and blood."

"I don't understand."

"Well, the natural consumers of blood and hearts—vampires and werewolves—have fangs. It only makes sense that you're getting some." Lucifer looks very pleased.

"Okay."

Lucifer's expression wavers, just for a moment.

Jack isn't quite sure what it was. It almost looked like uncertainty.

OOOOOOO

"I'm ready to leave."

Lucifer laughs at him. "And go where?"

"Anywhere but here."

"No." Lucifer's tone is icy. It doesn't bother Jack like it used to.

"I'm leaving."

"I said no."

"Then make me."

Lucifer rises from his chair and sighs. He sighs like Jack is an inconvenience. Like he's a fly that's annoying him. "I really thought we were past this, Jack."

"So did I."

Lucifer shoves his hand in Jack's direction. Jack can feel the force of Lucifer's power, but he doesn't move.

Surprise flashes over Lucifer's face. It happens so quickly Jack wouldn't have noticed if he didn't spend so much time with the archangel.

Jack says, "I guess all of those hearts you've been feeding me have paid off."

Lucifer laughs. It's a grating sound. "I suppose so." Lucifer's eyes glow red, and he thrusts both his hands out.

The force of it makes Jack take a couple steps back. Then he grins. "My turn." He steals the line from the Ironman movie Dean showed him.

Jack summons his power; he can feel it coursing through his body. Still grinning, he copies Lucifer's movements and pushes his arms forward. The air ripples with the force of it. There's a golden hue to it.

Lucifer slams against the wall. He immediately gets up. His angel blade appears in his right hand. He's furious. "Killing you won't be a pleasure, but I can always make another you, so what's the loss here, really?"

"You talk too much." Jack blasts the Devil again.

Lucifer is more prepared this time and flies out of the way. He appears behind Jack. Jack feels the air move behind him and barely dodges the angel blade.

Jack spins around and glares. "I hate you."

"Touché."

Lucifer lunges, but Jack sidesteps the attack. Then Jack blasts Lucifer, harder than he has before. Lucifer hits the ground, and his angel blade slides across the floor.

Jack slowly walks over to him.

"You're nothing," Lucifer spits, turning so his back is on the floor. He glares up at his son.

"So are you." Jack outstretches his arm in the direction of the angel blade, and it flies into his hand.

Fear lights in Lucifer's eyes, but it's quickly replaced by anger. "You can't kill me. You need me."

"I've never needed you."

Jack anticipates Lucifer's movements. He spins around just as the archangel flies behind him. The angel blade sinks into Lucifer's chest. Jack holds Lucifer's gaze.

The Devil is afraid.

Jack pulls the blade out, and Lucifer falls to the ground in a terrible flash of bright light. Jack blinks and looks down. Both Lucifer and his vessel are dead. The Devil's corpse lays on the cracked floor, his large wings scorched into the ground, circling him.

It's a little anticlimactic, if Jack's being honest.

OOOOOOO

Demons find him. Lucifer loyalists. He knows they've been following him for days. And it's honestly annoying. So, he stops moving and waits for them to come.

It's cold, and the church he's in is rotting. The breeze flows through the building freely due to the decaying architecture.

Five demons circle Jack. He is sitting on the floor, unbothered.

"We're going to kill you," one of them threatens.

Jack doesn't move.

The demon continues, "Did you hear me? Boy?"

"You don't scare me," Jack answers. "I killed Lucifer. How can you even compare?" It isn't meant to be a threat. It's just a fact.

The demons exchange a nervous look.

The one from earlier speaks. It says, "And you'll pay for that."

Jack raises an eyebrow. "Really? Don't you know anything about me?"

"I know you're a mistake."

"So, you don't know I feast on demons?" Jack flies behind the talkative demon. "I even grew fangs."

Before the demon can turn around—let alone reply—Jack leaps on it, sinking his fangs into its neck. The other demons converge, but Jack flies away right before they strike.

He kills them. One by one.

Toying with them is almost enjoyable.

Nothing will beat the rush he got after he drank all of Asmodeus, but five demons is something. And it's delicious.

OOOOOOO

There's something wild about the dark. About the night. Something mischievous and raw about the hours meant for sleeping. And the longer the night drags on, the wilder it feels. It's almost 1am now; the energy of the night is just beginning.

The fire is big and flickering. There is something primordial about the orange glow. It's where humans have gathered since the beginning of time. Jack finds some here now. Young ones. Older than he is, but younger than most. The youngest one is fifteen. Jack can't comprehend what fifteen whole years on this planet must feel like. It almost seems like too long.

He walks into their circle. There is alcohol. And cannabis. They're happy.

One of them notices him. She waves. Her movements are exaggerated and slow. She is drunk. "You came!" she exclaims excitedly. She clearly thinks he's someone else.

He sits beside her. "You were expecting me?" he asks skeptically. She's almost twenty. She's the oldest.

"Yeah." She leans in dangerously close. Her eyes on Jack's lips. Jack wants her to look somewhere else. Finally, she looks up at his eyes again. She grins sheepishly. "I have a crush on you."

"No, you don't."

She giggles. "Yes, I do! I have for a long time. All the way back to English class sophomore year in high school." She giggles again. "Isn't that crazy?"

"I don't know."

She laughs. Then she grabs the front of Jack's shirt and kisses him.

Jack isn't sure if he likes it. She tastes like the whiskey Dean likes. A little bit of marijuana too. But he opens his lips under hers. Maybe if he kisses her back he'll like it.

She pulls away, grinning. "I love you."

Jack knows arguing with her would be pointless, so he slowly reaches a hand forward. When his hand gently cups her face, she gasps. Her eyes wide and dark. Jack slowly moves his hand across her cheek, down her neck. His touch is feather-light. He presses his palm against her collarbone. Her heart is beating wildly. Jack licks his lips. He moves his hand further down, above her heart.

"Don't stop," she whines.

"Okay." Jack locks eyes with her as he sinks his fingers inside her flesh. Warm and wet.

She gasps and looks down. She stares as his fingers plunge into her deeper, blood beginning to run down her chest.

Jack bites his lip as he cracks her ribs. He does it slow enough that the sound is muffled.

She looks up at him frantically. "S-stop."

He feels her heart. It's beating faster than before. He gently wraps his fingers around it, pulling it out slowly. He's still watching her.

There's a moment where he's holding her heart out in front of her. She stares at it, alive for only a few more seconds. She's afraid. Jack brings her heart to his lips, and he bites, sinking his teeth into it slowly. He closes his eyes. It's warm and wet and still pumping. The first bite is phenomenal.

His enjoyment is cut short by a scream. It's the 15-year-old. She's watching him. Everyone turns to look to see what she's screaming at. They all stare at him.

It's a blur after that. But in the end, Jack is bloody—adrenaline pumping—and sated after consuming each of their hearts.

The young ones taste better than the old ones Lucifer used to feed him.

OOOOOOO

He's wandering, no destination in mind. Flying as fast as he can, veins pumping with renewed strength. The energy is exhilarating. He's buzzing. He's flying over the Midwest—arguably the most boring area in America. It's completely by chance that he sees her face.

Kelly Kline.

There's a sign with her face on it.

It's in someone's yard. It tells him that Kelly's been missing for a year. It's a gathering for "family and close friends of Kelly to gather in remembrance and bring hope to each other". Jack is Kelly's family. That means he's invited.

There's a charged energy in the air. It's one of those warm days after days and days of cold. Where it's just a taste of spring, and everything aches with the need for it to stay this warm. Cars are parked all along the street. Jack realizes the date on the sign is today. The gathering is right now.

He walks up to the door. The house is nice. The grass in the yard is dead. He knocks on the door.

A woman opens the door. She looks like his mom. An older version with sharper features. Jack knows it should leave him breathless. But it does nothing. Should he be bothered that he can't feel anymore?

"Yes?" she asks him. She doesn't sound like his mom.

"I knew Kelly Kline."

Her face brightens, and she opens the door for him. "Come in," she says. "How do you know Kelly?"

She uses present-tense. She must think Kelly is still alive.

It smells like food and cheap perfume. It's also too warm. And Jack sticks out like a sore thumb. Everyone here is dressed as if they're going to church. Jack is wearing what he always wears. A few people glance disapprovingly his way. He doesn't care.

The room is full, but Jack has never seen any of these people. Where were they when his mom needed help? How are they family and close friends if Jack can't recognize a single one of them? Who even are these people?

Jack finally responds, "How do you know her?"

"I'm her mother."

"Oh," Jack replies. He should be angry. This woman never helped his mom. Or he should be happy. He just discovered he has a grandmother. But he feels neither. "She was mine."

His grandmother pauses. "What?"

Jack wanders over to a table with food on it. There's a cheap plastic tablecloth over it. Plastic utensils, napkins, and paper plates are on one end. There's an assortment of home-cooked dishes lining the table. A potluck. Jack thinks that's what these things are called. A potluck for his dead mother.

To clarify, Jack says, "Kelly was my mother."

He inspects the food. He doesn't recognize most of it. But all he's ever eaten is diner food, demon blood, and human hearts. Dean used to make him home-cooked meals sometimes. Jack doesn't think about those times, though.

The room grows quieter. The people close enough to hear what Jack said look in his direction. He pays them no mind and grabs a paper plate and utensils. These people should want to hear this. They should want to know what happened to Kelly. He's ending their uncertainty, giving them the answers they've been waiting a year for.

Jack's grandmother responds coldly, "Kelly has no kids. Who are you." She doesn't ask.

"No kids that you know of." Jack reaches for the potato salad, but someone grabs his arm. Jack lets them stop him. He looks up.

A man around the same age as his grandmother is holding onto his arm harder than necessary. It would bruise if Jack was a human.

"Get the hell out," the man commands.

"Why? She's my mother. The sign said this is for friends and family. I am her family." It's not that hard to grasp, really. He hasn't even told them he isn't human. That's the thing that will be difficult for them to understand. Not him being her son.

The room is silent now. Everyone is watching him.

The man tightens his grip. "I said get the hell out. Kelly isn't even married. She has no kids."

Coolly, hoping to calm the man, Jack says, "My father tricked Kelly into having sex with him to have me." There. That should help clear things up.

Jack's grandmother makes a choking sound.

The man holding Jack's arm exchanges a look with her. "He's lying, Diane. He's just trying to get a reaction out of you." He looks back down at Jack. "Get out of my house, or I will make you."

Jack knows things are going to get violent fast as they often do these days. So, quickly, he tells them all, "Kelly is dead."

The man punches Jack in the face. The blow actually causes Jack to stagger back a few steps. He blinks. It doesn't hurt.

"Get the fuck out of here!" the man yells.

Jack huffs indignantly. Can't they see he's trying to help? "I thought you'd want to know." He stretches his wings, and he's out of the house in the blink of an eye.

OOOOOOO

Nothing can make him feel the way he used to. No amount of hearts or demon blood can give him the buzz or physical edge he used to get. Plus, consuming those things is becoming such effort. Killing people—even demons—isn't difficult, but it's so much work for such a small effect. It's not really a practical pay-off if he's being honest.

It's just past 2am. He's outside a motel. He tells himself it's a coincidence Castiel is staying here at the same time he's passing by.

Castiel isn't sleeping. He's still looking for the Nephilim. For a baby that doesn't exist.

Jack's become so good at hiding himself that Castiel has no idea he's even nearby.

Jack is a few doors down from Castiel's room. The vending machine he's looking at is old. There's a crack on the glass, but it's chained to the wall. Jack has no idea what purpose the chain serves. No human can lift the machine. Maybe the motel owner is a Hunter.

Jack doesn't want soda. He doesn't want the carbonation. He doesn't want Gatorade either. It all tastes watered-down now. He also doesn't want chips. The taste of human hearts has made everything else taste like dust. Jack can tolerate certain drinks like soda. But he doesn't want soda tonight. Jack idly presses the button to a drink he doesn't recognize. Castiel is pacing his room. The machine tells Jack to insert his card, but with a small burst of power, the machine is pulling back its coil, and Jack's drink falls with a loud clank. Jack instinctively glances in the direction of Castiel's room. It makes no sense. Even if Castiel hears the noise, he wouldn't suspect who it is. Maybe Jack wants Castiel to come find him.

Jack takes his drink out of the machine and pops the tab. The drink fizzes and runs down his thumb. He doesn't wipe it off. He brings the drink to his lips. It's sweet in an almost acidic way. Jack takes another sip. There is a lot of caffeine. He drinks more.

It's good.

He turns the can in his hand to read the label, so he can get more later. The drink is called Monster.

OOOOOOO

Jack's sitting on a park bench. It's sunny today. He's wearing sunglasses. He stole them from Hot Topic. There are bees pollinating the budding flowers. It reminds him of Castiel. An older, bookish man is walking down the sidewalk. He sits beside Jack.

The man says, "It's a beautiful day."

Jack smiles. The warmth of the sun feels nice. "It is."

The man is looking at Jack like he's a puzzle. "Oh, Jack," he says sadly. "You don't have to do this alone."

"Who are you."

The man reaches a hand out in greeting. "Donatello. Prophet."

Jack takes his hand and shakes it. "Prophet?" He tilts his head in confusion.

Donatello smiles ruefully and withdraws his hand. "You really do look like Castiel sometimes."

"I know. I wanted to look like him." Jack doesn't think he does anymore.

Donatello swallows. "I get visions."

"You have visions of me."

"Among other things, yes." Donatello sighs. "I thought about telling Sam and Dean—or Castiel—about you. But I thought it'd be best to talk to you first."

"I don't care."

"I know. But you have to try."

"Why?"

Donatello pauses. "I know what Lucifer did to you. Jack, can't you see this is exactly what he wanted you to do?"

"No. He wanted me to rule the world. I am not doing that."

"You're killing innocent people to make yourself more powerful. That's exactly what he wanted."

"He made me this way."

"And?"

"Leave me alone."

"You need help. You need to talk to someone. Castiel. Or Sam. Even Dean. I can help if you really want."

"I do not want anyone's help."

"It's not about wanting help, dear boy. It's about needing it."

Jack idly taps his finger on his leg. "Actually." He leans forward, fully turning to look at Donatello. "There is something you can give me."

"What—" Donatello's eyes widen in realization. He leans back. "Jack, no, you—"

Quickly, faster than he's moved in ages, Jack reaches out, hand ripping into Donatello's flesh, and breaks his ribcage with ease. He squeezes the prophet's heart. Hard. He pulls it out. It's barely pumping. Blood runs down Jack's hand. He bites into the heart.

Oh.

He closes his eyes. What is that? It's delicious.

Jack feasts on the heart.

He's breathing heavily when he finishes his meal. Donatello is slumped on the bench, eyes lifelessly staring in front of him. Jack's face is warm and wet with Donatello's blood. He feels like he just downed a gallon of Monster. His heart is pumping fast and loud and powerful. Energy flows through Jack's veins. It must be the effects of Donatello's prophetic abilities.

More.

Jack needs more.

He must get more.

OOOOOOO

It takes Jack a few tries to find a heart like Donatello's. He's been running on demon blood. There's no shortage of Lucifer's loyalists to keep him going. But there's something about human hearts. They just have more…energy in a strange sense. Jack also knows the peak he can feel when drinking demon blood was Asmodeus, so why should he go out of his way to chase a high he knows isn't there?

Jack flies around the country, first targeting psychics. Donatello had said he had gotten visions, so Jack supposes psychics might be similar. He kills three psychics, but they hardly do anything. The teen hearts were better.

Jack is in Maine. Large, wet snowflakes are falling from the sky. They melt when they touch the ground. He's eating a hot dog, but it tastes like ash. He throws the rest of it on the ground. It's getting late. He's passing a church, an old Catholic church that looks like it's straight out of Europe, and a priest steps out.

Jack wonders what his heart tastes like. So he finds out. Jack moves so quickly that the priest doesn't even scream.

As soon as Jack's teeth sink into his heart, Jack knows he's hit the jackpot. It's not as good as Donatello, or even Asmodeus, but it gives him a buzz—a lot like the Monster energy drinks—but with a little more kick.

Jack is sick of the cold, so he flies around some of the southern states, eating his fill of priests and pastors. There's no shortage of pastors down south. It's like it was made for him.

OOOOOOO

Pastors don't cut it anymore. Jack needs something more.

But what's holier than a man of God?

Jack knows his plan is stupid. He knows that's what Dean would say. Sam would suggest doing more research or bringing holy oil. Jack doesn't know Castiel well enough to know what he'd say. But Jack goes through with his plan anyway.

He knows the angels have been looking for him. Just like the Winchesters and Castiel. He sends a quick prayer to all of the angels, telling them who he is and where he is. He doesn't use his name. Saying he's Lucifer's son is enough. Jack knows the angels will come. They want to kill him just as badly as Dean does.

Jack wonders what would happen if Castiel shows up. Part of him hopes Castiel does. Maybe the angel would save him. But Jack knows better than that by now. He knows Castiel probably hates him. Especially after what he's about to do.

Castiel doesn't show up. But five other angels do. It's funny how they think five will be enough. He's killed an archangel; these ones are nothing. He has the priest hearts fueling him too. Killing the angels doesn't even take ten minutes.

The last one is under him now. Jack is straddling its abdomen, one of his hands around the angel's throat. It squirms under him. Its vessel opens its mouth, but Jack pushes the escaping angel back inside. He clamps one hand over its mouth, keeping the other around its neck. You can't suffocate an angel. But Jack holds it there as it squirms, calling out for its brothers and sisters to come help. This is the most exciting thing to happen to him since he killed Lucifer.

Jack grins, locks eyes with the angel, and pushes a pulse of power through its vessel, hot and powerful. Jack removes his hands. The angel is gasping, but it's dying. Its grace is quickly fading. Jack has to be fast.

So he is. Breaking into the weakened angel's ribcage is just as easy—and messy—as a human. The angel's heart is still beating, its grace is still powering the muscle. Jack is trembling in anticipation. He closes his eyes and takes a large bite.

It's one of the best things he's ever eaten. It's juicy and warm. The blood runs down his chin and drips onto the dying angel below him. He can hear it still gasping, but its movements are sluggish. It won't last much longer.

But the power in this heart. Oh!

It's like drinking lightning. Jack can feel the pieces of the heart travel down through him, electrifying him. He eats it too fast, because it's over too soon. But Jack feels…

He exhales, and his eyes flutter open. The world is brighter. More colorful. He can hear so much too: from the ant across the room to the music in the car driving on the road outside. His skin is sensitive to every particle of air.

He has to fly. He needs to know how that feels.

Jack spreads his wings and takes off with all of his might.

OOOOOOO

Pain.

It flashes through him.

It started as an uncomfortable prickle in his stomach. Jack thought it was indigestion, but he doesn't get indigestion. Then his stomach felt as if it was full of lead. That's when he knew something was wrong. But he ignored it. He's strong.

He's flying. Faster than ever before. He circled the whole world! He's over Kansas now. The night sky is beautiful. The prickle in his stomach flashes, sharp and deep. Jack gasps and almost falls from the sky. He barely makes the landing in a cornfield.

Another flash of pain, and Jack drops to his knees. It flashes again…but it doesn't go away. The pain feels like a spear has been run through his middle. Jack falls to the ground and curls in on himself. He takes a few deep breaths to rally himself and straightens his body.

The pain comes back stronger than before.

He's reminded of Lucifer.

Jack whimpers. Is he dying? He can't! He can't be after all of this!

The pain intensifies, and Jack's vision is filled with black dots. He's going to pass out.

He hasn't slept since Lucifer tortured him. Something is really wrong.

He needs help.

The bunker is close.

Jack screams when he stretches his wings.

He gets close to the bunker, but he doesn't make it. He crashes nearly two miles away.

He isn't sure how long he lies on the ground. Long enough for the black dots to disappear. The pain never subsides. He stands, and he hates the weak noise he makes. He knows where the bunker is. He focuses on taking one step at a time. His hair is plastered to his sweaty forehead.

One step at a time.

He keeps walking, but his sense of time has escaped him. It feels like hours have passed but that can't be right. His left foot catches on something, and he falls. He scrapes his knees and hands. He's throwing up before he can stop it.

It's chunky and bloody, and Jack can feel the power leaving him as the remainder of the angel heart is expelled from his body.

No! No! No!

He still wants it!

Jack screams.

He's panting. Then he realizes the pain is gone. He nearly faints when he stands, but he doesn't feel as if he's dying anymore. He knows he's very close to the bunker now. Maybe he can sleep. …If they'll let him in. Jack hasn't seen the Winchesters in over three months.

The walk only takes about thirty more minutes, and exhaustion leaves Jack's mind blank.

The Impala isn't outside, but it might be in the garage. Jack can't find the effort to care. He just wants to sleep.

The door to the bunker opens with a familiar creak. Jack staggers and nearly falls down the stairs.

"Oh my god! Jack?" It's Sam. Sam's footsteps race up the stairs. One of Sam's arms wraps around him, and he helps Jack down the stairs. "Dean!" Sam calls. Then louder, "Dean!"

They're at the end of the stairs.

Dean races in, wielding a pistol. His eyes widen when he sees them. "Son of a bitch," he mutters, stuffing his gun back into his waistband. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Sam answers. "Let's get him to the infirmary."

"No," Jack says weakly.

"What?" Dean says.

"My room. I want…" Jack takes in a deep breath. "I want to sleep in my room."

Sam and Dean exchange a look.

"Yeah, fine, whatever," Dean dismisses.

"Dean," Sam chides.

"Sam, please," Jack says.

Sam sighs and tightens his grip on Jack. "Yeah, okay," he says softly. Sam helps Jack down the hall.

"Dean is angry with me."

"He's just worried." They walk a few more steps before Sam adds, "And he was upset when you left. You—it hurt his feelings."

"Oh."

They reach Jack's room. It looks untouched. Except the note isn't there. Lucifer wanted him to leave it on the map table. Jack told him his room was better. He didn't think the Devil would actually listen, but he did.

Sam says, "Just focus on feeling better. I can get the first-aid kit."

Jack shakes his head and pushes Sam away. He staggers to the bed. "Just sleep."

"Are you sure?"

Jack doesn't even bother to take off his shoes as he slides under the covers. He nods. "Yes."

"Okay." Sam lingers. "Uh, goodnight, Jack."

"G'night."

OOOOOOO

Jack dreams of Lucifer. Lucifer is taking something from him. He's pulling it out of Jack. It's streaming out of Jack's chest. Jack feels as if he's becoming unraveled. All Jack can do is watch as Lucifer takes it away. He knows whatever it is, it's important. It's the part of him that can feel. That can sleep. That wants to curl up on the couch next to Castiel. The warm part. The big bright part in the center of his being. But Lucifer takes it. He takes it all. And then Lucifer says,

"I'm hiding this away somewhere you'll never find it."

But…

Jack remembers this.

Didn't this really happen?

"Rise and shine."

It's bright, and Jack has a headache. He glares in the direction of the sound.

Dean is in his room, his hand still on the lamp. He smirks. "We're leaving in fifteen."

"What?" Jack's voice is heavy with sleep. He forgot that happens.

But Dean doesn't answer. He just turns around and walks out of Jack's room.

Jack sighs and buries his face into his pillow. His headache is really starting to annoy him now. And he's thirsty. He wants demon blood. He probably needs it to recover. He needs hearts too. Jack idly considers eating the Winchesters' hearts. But he's too tired. He'll do it later if he still feels like it.

He gets out of bed and allows his grace to clean up his clothes and body. He looks in the mirror a second before he leaves. He hardly looks like he did three months ago. He's wearing black jeans, but he still has the boots Dean gave him. He has a white button-up shirt on with one too many buttons open. He stole the shirt from a department store. He also stole the jacket he's wearing. It's a long black coat that reaches down to his ankles right where his boots start.

He looks like Castiel.

The door to his room abruptly opens. It's Dean. He says, "Hey, let's go. We don't have all day."

Jack follows Dean out the door and down the hall.

Jack asks, "Where are we going?"

"On a Hunt."

They reach the map table where Sam is waiting.

"Dude, seriously?" Sam says.

"What?" Dean says back, challenging Sam to argue.

Sam sighs. "Jack is hurt. He can't help us."

"If he's staying here, he needs to earn his keep."

"Since when?"

Jack pipes up, "I can Hunt."

Dean gives Sam a pointed look. "See?"

Sam gives Dean a pointed look back but doesn't say anything. He swiftly grabs his duffle bag and walks up the stairs. Dean and Jack follow. They all wordlessly get into the car. Dean in the driver's spot, Sam next to him. Jack is in the back. It's almost like old times.

The drive to wherever they're going is tense. The soft rock playing from one of Dean's cassettes doesn't help much.

Jack leans back and rests his head on the window. He closes his eyes. He wishes his headache would go away. He wants more hearts. But he wishes he didn't have to eat them to feel. He wants the missing part that Lucifer stole back.

Jack wakes up to Sam gently saying his name. Jack didn't realize he had fallen asleep. He must still be recovering. The angel heart affected him more than he originally thought. Dean is already out of the car. They're at a police station. When Jack steps out of the car, Dean isn't there.

"Where's Dean?" Jack asks.

Sam sighs. "This case we're on, it's big. Like, federal big. The FBI is all over it. We can't pose as agents when we have real agents running all over the place. We did at first, but we kept running into them, and a few other Hunters got busted trying to solve it. Having Garth back us up isn't going to work this time. The Bureau will get suspicious, so we have to be careful."

"So what's Dean's doing?"

As if on cue, Dean comes out of the station. He's shaking his head. When he reaches them he says, "Agents are already here."

"Dammit," Sam mutters.

"I can go," Jack says.

Sam and Dean both stare.

Jack explains, "I can be an intern. Sam said the FBI was tracking agents. They aren't tracking interns as closely, right?"

Sam and Dean exchange a look.

Then Sam says, "That's not a bad idea."

Dean says, "You know the case? Did Sam tell you about it?"

Jack shakes his head. "He just said it was big."

Dean continues, "Well, if you've been Hunting all this time you've probably heard about it."

Jack's been doing a different kind of hunting. "I haven't."

Dean gives Sam a look.

"I can do it," Jack insists.

"You're out of practice," Dean says.

"Fine. I won't help then."

Sam interjects, "Guys, guys." He sighs. "Look, Dean. Jack can get us the info we need. It's not that big of a deal. It's not like we're sending him into a vamp nest or something."

Dean scowls. "Alright, fine." He turns to Jack. "We're Hunting something that's ripping out human hearts all over the country."

Uh oh.

Jack feigns innocence. "Like what?"

Sam replies, "Well, we thought it was a werewolf at first. A lot of Hunters still do."

Dean continues, "But werewolves don't go totally rogue like this. It draws too much attention."

"And the timeline doesn't add up," Sam says.

"Timeline?" Jack asks.

"These attacks are all across the country," Sam says. "But the timing of some attacks are right after another, but they're states away. No one werewolf can travel that fast."

Jack asks, "So is it more than one werewolf?"

"Probably not," Dean answers. "I've never seen werewolves act like this."

"So what is it?" Jack asks. Castiel knows it's the Nephilim since Jack had prayed to all the angels before eating one's heart. But that was yesterday, so maybe they haven't talked to Castiel. Jack also knows Castiel doesn't like telling the Winchesters information about the Nephilim since Dean is hellbent on killing him.

"We don't know," Sam admits.

Finally, all of their poor communication skills are working in Jack's favor. "Okay. What am I going in to look for?" Jack asks.

"The latest body," Dean says.

So they've found the angel's body already. That was quick. Jack nods. "I'll go to the morgue."

Sam smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes. "Yup."

Dean says, "We'll be here. Come back and give us a report."

"Okay." Jack brushes past them and into the police station.

Using the intern excuse grants him access to the morgue. All he does is say he's with the agents that are already here.

Jack follows a young officer to the morgue. He's no older than twenty-two. Jack thinks his heart probably tastes delicious.

"And here you are," the officer says, gesturing to the morgue.

The body Jack needs is already out. The sheet covering it is folded at the waist. Jack walks into the room and stops when he reaches the body. It isn't the angel from yesterday. They're behind. They're really behind. It's Donatello. Have they not found all the priests and pastors? Or did they find Donatello's body late? That's probably it.

Jack glances back at the door to make sure he's alone. He is. So he says, "Hello, Donatello."

Donatello's corpse stays silent.

"Why did it take so long for them to find you?" Jack asks. "Did you have no one who'd look for you?"

The buzz from the fluorescent lights makes Jack's headache worse.

"It's okay. I don't have anyone either."

Jack picks up the clipboard resting beside Donatello's body, easily memorizing the information to relay it to Sam and Dean. He sets it down. He stares at Donatello. His eyes look the exact same as they did seconds after he died.

"It's not about wanting help, dear boy. It's about needing it."

Jack says, "It turns out it was you who needed help, wasn't it?"

Jack thinks he might be lonely.

Then he frowns at Donatello. Maybe Jack does need help. When he killed Donatello, he had forgotten that Lucifer had taken something from him. He thought he didn't need help then, but now he might need help to get his missing piece back.

But does Jack really want it back?

He isn't sure.

Jack considers telling Sam and Dean. And Castiel. He wants to tell Castiel first. But what would happen if they knew the truth? Jack remembers his grandparents and the people at Kelly's gathering. They weren't happy to know the truth. They were probably happier without it.

Jack realizes now that lying can be good. It's good now. Everyone would be upset if he told them the truth.

When Jack gets back into the Impala, he relays the information he memorized from the clipboard. He even tells them Donatello's name. That surprises the brothers. Apparently, they knew him. They also knew he was a prophet. Donatello had mentioned the Winchesters when he spoke to Jack, but Jack wasn't sure if Donatello had just gotten visions of them or if he actually knew them. Turns out he did.

But telling the Winchesters about Donatello only makes them more determined to solve the Hunt. They also think all of the victims were chosen. That whatever is ripping out the hearts must know its victims. That whoever did this must've known Donatello was a prophet and killed Donatello because of that. But that isn't true. But Jack isn't going to stop them from going on their wild goose chase.

Then Castiel calls them.

OOOOOOO

All Castiel had said is that he needs to meet with them somewhere. They pick a restaurant nearby. Jack follows Sam and Dean inside. Castiel is at a large table with a girl. Sam and Dean know her. Her name is Claire. Sam and Dean introduce Jack to her.

Then she says, "Have you guys seen the news?"

"News?" Dean asks as he sits down beside Sam.

Jack is at the head of the table. Claire and Castiel are sitting across from Sam and Dean.

"Yeah," Claire says. "They're calling the killer the Jack of Hearts."

Sam frowns and rubs at a stain on the table with his thumb. "Where'd they get that from?"

Claire explains, "One news station compared the killer to Jack the Ripper, and then the whole heart thing, so it became the Jack of Hearts."

Jack asks, "Is this the Hunt we're on? It's on the news?"

"Yeah," Dean says.

Sam adds, "Whatever's doing this is doing it openly. And across the entire country. Of course it's gained the attention of the media."

"Oh," Jack says.

Sam turns to Castiel and asks, "So, Cas, you said you had something to tell us?"

Castiel looks around uncomfortably, fidgeting with his hands. He eventually rests his palms on the table. "It's the Nephilim."

Dean glares at him.

"Don't say it." And Castiel sounds miserable.

"Say what?" Dean says.

"I told you so." Castiel eventually meets Dean's eyes with his own. "This is my fault. If I'd stayed with Kelly, or if I'd looked for him harder, or—"

"It's not your fault, Cas," Dean interrupts. "That thing is just evil. Plain and simple. Nothing you could've done."

"Yes, there is!" Castiel's outburst surprises them all. "I bonded with him, Dean. I know he isn't evil."

Dean raises his eyebrows. "Well, clearly you're wrong because now this thing is making national news as a serial killer."

"Some news stations are saying it's a cult," Claire adds unhelpfully.

Castiel sighs, it's heavy as if the weight of the world is bearing down on him. "Thank you, Claire."

"Sorry," she mutters and looks down.

"Alright, well," Dean begins, "I'm going to get some food because I'm starving. We can talk about this later."

It turns out the restaurant they're in is called an all-you-can-buffet. But they don't serve what Jack likes to eat. He grabs food he liked from before Lucifer took his missing part from him. When he returns to the table with his tray full of food, two more people have arrived. Jack recognizes Eileen. She smiles at him, and he signs hello. There's another girl. Claire introduces her as Kaia.

Everyone seems to be in high spirits as they all sit around the table and eat. Sam even has fried chicken and a donut on his plate. Eileen and Sam are signing to each other, grinning with their eyes alight. Even Dean and Castiel are sitting close to each other. Castiel no longer seems upset—or he's less upset—and smiles at Dean warmly, and Dean smiles back at him in the same way.

Jack thinks he could've been friends with Claire if he was like how he used to be. But he wants to kill her. Castiel gives her his full attention whenever she talks to him. He smiles at her more lovingly than he's ever looked at Jack. But Jack chose Castiel to be his father. Castiel needs to be looking at Jack like that. He needs to be asking Jack how he's doing. When Castiel asks Claire how she is, Claire answers with a lie and says she's fine. But Jack isn't fine either. He knows he isn't. He knows there's something wrong. He knows he needs his missing part back. He also knows if he didn't miss how things used to be, he wouldn't care to try and find it. He knows he should be afraid or concerned, but he isn't. He just wants to be happy again.

Jack swirls his spoon in his frozen yogurt. It's practically all melted now. Suddenly, he feels as if he's outside of his body like he's hovering over the table. He can see everyone leaning towards each other while he remains on the outside. How they all speak to each other, yet he doesn't know what they're saying. This will never end, will it? Jack is going to live forever. He's always going to be alone. No one will truly know him. Even these people he's with now have no idea who or what he is. They still think he left the bunker on his own. He can't stand it anymore.

Jack stands up, his chair makes a loud scraping sound. It makes his headache worse. "I need to leave."

"What?" Dean says with his mouth full. He and Sam exchange a look.

Sam says, "Jack, are you sure? Are you feeling okay?"

Jack nods. "I'm fine." He says it like Claire. "Thank you for lunch." He leaves his dishes there. Most of his food is still there too.

The restaurant feels too small, and his headache is a terrible pressure, pushing against his skull and eyes. He almost feels too small for his body. He feels too small for this room. He needs to fly away. He needs to be outside in the openness. It's too stuffy here. He quickens his pace and bursts out of the restaurant doors. He knows he should walk down a ways before flying off, but he doesn't really care anymore. Let them think what they want. They can't do anything about him. It's not like they can stop him either. So he flies away.

OOOOOOO

He flies to the woods in Wyoming. It can't be more isolated than this. Or so he thinks. He hears the campers before he sees them.

A young man and woman are piling sticks into a makeshift fire-pit. The man grabs the woman and tickles her. She laughs and squeals, telling him to cut it out.

They're too loud.

Jack wants to be alone amongst the birds and squirrels. He needs some peace and quiet. He wishes he could sleep.

Jack walks into their campsite. "You're too loud," he tells them.

They both freeze and stare at him.

"What the fuck," the man finally says. He glances at the ax next to the fire-pit. But he wouldn't make it in time if he tried anything. Jack is faster.

Jack continues, "You don't know what could be lurking in the woods." He circles the fire-pit to get closer.

The woman backs up into the man, but the man stands his ground.

The man glares. "Hey, buddy, why don't you get the fuck out of here."

"No."

The man glances at the ax.

Jack says, "Not until I get what I want."

"What do you want?" the woman asks. She's trembling. She's terrified. She should be.

Jack grins, baring his fangs. "Your hearts."

He lunges for her and rips her from the man's grasp. Their screams are loud but quickly cut short.

The woods are quiet once more.

OOOOOOO

The energy from the campers' hearts make him restless. They also cure his headache. Jack flies around the woods but soon becomes bored.

He thinks of his missing piece. There has to be a way to find it. Lucifer had said he'd hidden it.

What if someone else finds it?

Jack doesn't like that thought very much. It's his piece, and he should have it. He needs to find it.

OOOOOOO

Jack heard Sam and Dean mention her before. Rowena. A powerful witch. Jack hopes she's as good as the Winchesters said she is. She's tricky to find. She hides herself well.

She's holed up in a fancy hotel. Something Jack never would've stayed in if he was still with Sam and Dean.

Everything smells like cleaner, and the red carpet clashes with the yellow walls. She's in room 216. He knocks. Sure, he could probably force her to do what he wants, but asking seems easier. If she denies him, he'll try other tactics.

He hears her move towards the door. There's silence and Jack assumes she's looking at him through the peephole. The door opens.

"Rowena."

She looks him over. "Do I know you?" It doesn't sound accusatory, but Jack knows it is.

"We haven't met."

She raises her eyebrows. "My reputation must proceed me then."

"I need you to find something for me."

She hesitates. "Come in." She moves out of the way, and he walks into her room.

Fabulous dresses are hanging in the open closet. He sees ingredients for various spells on the dresser and vanity.

She says, "I'll need something in return."

"What do you want?"

She shrugs and eyes him. "I'm not really sure what you could possibly give me."

Jack pauses in thought. Then he pulls out Lucifer's blade. "What about an archangel's blade?"

Her eyes widen. She takes a few steps closer as she inspects the blade. She looks up at him. "Now where did you get this?"

"Can you help me find what I'm looking for?"

"Quite mysterious, aren't you?" She's smiling in amusement. She gestures for him to follow, and she leads him towards the vanity. She sits down and looks at him through the mirror. "What do you need to find?"

"Something that belongs to me."

She stares at him. "Is that the only description you're going to give me?"

"Yes."

She chuckles. "You're quite something." She holds a hand up. "I need something of yours for the spell."

"Will I get it back?"

"Yes."

He takes his sunglasses out of his pocket and hands them to her.

She grins. "Good. This should do." She puts the sunglasses on the table in front of the vanity mirror. She rearranges a few objects on the table and gets up and grabs a few more things from the dresser. She takes out candles from a bag on the bed. When she returns to the vanity, she lights the candles. "Stand back. I wouldn't want you to get hurt."

Jack thinks she doesn't really care if he gets hurt or not. He doubts her spell could hurt him anyway, but he takes a couple steps back.

She chants a few words in Latin, the flames on the candles grow several feet tall, and the lights in the room burst. Rowena falls into her chair, breathing heavily.

"Did you find it?" Jack asks.

Still panting, Rowena replies, "You didn't tell me your item was hidden with magic."

"Oh." That makes sense. "I didn't know."

Rowena takes a few more deep breaths. She fixes her hair. "Well, that's certainly going to get the attention of the hotel staff."

"Did you find it?" Jack demands.

Rowena casually stands. She turns to him. "The blade first."

He takes it out and hands it to her.

She grins and gently runs a hand over it. She gingerly sets it on the table. "What you're looking for is in a cabin in northwestern Colorado outside a town called Walden. Would you like coordinates?"

The lakehouse cabin where he was born. How ironic. "Where in the house?"

She blinks in surprise. "Upstairs. Looks like it used to be a nursery."

His room. Lucifer probably thought that was hilarious. "Thank you." He walks out of the room. The second the door closes behind him, he flies off to Colorado.

OOOOOOO

The sun is setting. The yellow-orange glow from the sky reflects on the lake. Jack thinks it might be beautiful. He can't find it in himself to appreciate it.

The cabin door squeaks when he opens it, and the hardwood floor groans as he walks across it. The windows are open, and the night air is cool and rustles the blinds. Jack walks down the hall, past the living room, through the kitchen.

He wonders what his mother envisioned his life at this house would be like. His mother used to think he would save the world, bring peace and paradise. Or something like that. But there's no point in wondering about what-ifs. Reality is different than anything she could've imagined.

He knows she'd hate what he's become. Who he is. What he is.

She hates him.

Rowena said his missing piece is in his room. The stairs creak louder than the floor. The hallway is shorter upstairs than downstairs.

The window in his room is open. The blinds are drawn back. The golden glow of the setting sun hurts Jack's eyes. He steps inside the room. On the bed is a black box covered in Enochian. It's Lucifer's handwriting. He knows his missing piece is in there.

As Jack approaches the bed, he sees Kelly's dried blood. He remembers the night he was born.

Maybe he was always meant to be covered in other people's blood.

Jack stares at the box and reaches a hand forward.

He remembers hearing his mother sing to him when he was still in her womb. When everything was warm.

He felt loved.

He was loved.

Not anymore.

He remembers the first time Castiel placed his hand on his mother's belly. Jack could feel the angel's grace and power. It was frightening. But his mother trusted Castiel. She said Castiel was safe. Jack believed her. Jack remembers reaching out with his powers to help Castiel kill Dagon and protect his mother. And Jack had wanted nothing more than to be as close to Castiel as he was with his mother.

One night, before Lucifer took him, when Jack was still in the bunker, he couldn't sleep. There's a secret panel behind the telescope. He found it open that night and went up the stairs. Castiel was on the roof staring up at the stars.

Jack had said, "Hello, Castiel."

Castiel turned to look at Jack. His eyes were sad like they usually were. "Hello, Jack." He didn't even try to smile.

Jack walked over to Castiel and looked up. The night air was warm, and crickets were chirping softly. Jack doesn't think he's felt anything as peaceful as that night. "The stars are so beautiful," Jack commented.

Castiel looked back up. "Yes, they are."

Jack shifted closer. Just slightly. Now he and Castiel's arms were touching. "You should stay here." With me. But he didn't say the last part out loud.

Castiel sighed. "I wish I could. But I can't."

"Because you have to find him?" Jack assumed. "Your son?"

"He's not my son."

"O-oh." Jack thought he was. But he had been wrong. He knows better now.

And Jack is crying. His hand is resting on the box holding his missing piece, and large, wet tears are sliding down his face. Jack immediately pulls his hand away.

This is no good.

Jack thought his missing piece would fix things. But it seems it will only make things worse. He had begun to cry just being near it. He can't put it back inside him where it belongs. It will only make him weaker. But he'll take it. He can't have anyone else finding it.

OOOOOOO

Jack isn't sure where to hide his missing piece. He keeps the box in the inside pocket of his long coat. It feels heavy, but at least he hasn't cried again. But he hasn't eaten any more hearts. The thought of blood makes him nauseous. But he's getting hungry, and he has a headache again.

He drinks a Monster.

His headache doesn't go away.

OOOOOOO

Jack catches bits of the news when he goes inside gas stations and convenience stores to buy Monster. They haven't found the campers yet. One news anchor says maybe the Jack of Hearts quit like the Zodiac Killer did. The other news anchor says the Jack of Hearts is just learning how to hide the bodies better.

OOOOOOO

Jack finds a priest in the parking lot behind a cathedral. Jack doesn't even mean to find him. He's taking a walk and trying to enjoy the sunny day. He can't. And he still has a headache. But he sees the priest talking in a hushed tone to a woman. She gives the priest a large wad of cash. Something about it seems wrong. The priest takes the cash and gets inside his car. Jack flies to him, appearing in the passenger seat. The priest is still holding the money.

"What is that?" Jack asks while looking at the money.

The priest jumps. "What the hell!"

"Why did she give you money?"

"It's none of your damn business! Now get out of my car!"

"I don't think God likes bribery. Or lies. At least, the version of Him you preach about doesn't."

"I'm calling the police."

"No. You're not." The coldness in Jack's voice sounds unrecognizable even to him.

The priest freezes.

Jack grins.

The priest sees his fangs and reaches for the door. But Jack is faster.

The priest's heart tastes terrible. He wasn't even close to being holy.

OOOOOOO

There was something wrong with that priest's heart.

When Jack goes to a gas station in the middle of nowhere in Nevada, people keep staring at him.

One guy asks, "What's up with the eyes? It's not Halloween."

Jack is confused and ignores him.

It happens again a couple days later, so he goes into the bathroom. His eyes are glowing gold. Jack knows this happens when he uses his powers, but it stops when he stops using them. But he's not using his powers right now. So why are his eyes still glowing?

He glares at his reflection and forces his eyes to change back. But they don't. Are they stuck like this?

First the fangs and now this.

He's hideous.

Jack has to wear sunglasses all the time now.

OOOOOOO

According to the news, the Jack of Hearts killed another priest. It says it's his first kill in weeks.

But it's wrong. The campers are still missing.

OOOOOOO

He sees the Impala. He's honestly surprised he hasn't seen it sooner. It's parked outside a run-down bar. There are a lot of other cars parked outside. Jack can't help but be curious, and he walks inside.

It's too warm and "Sympathy for the Devil" is playing on a colorful jukebox. Jack hates that song.

The bar is filled with Hunters. Even the bartender looks like a Hunter. At least Jack assumes they're Hunters. They're all wearing flannel.

Three tables have been pushed together into the middle of the room. The majority of the Hunters are crowded around those tables. Jack can't make out what they're looking at. A few smaller groups of Hunters are sitting at the other tables and booths. Everyone is drinking.

There's a flash of tan, and Jack's attention is drawn back to the center tables. Castiel is here.

Would Castiel help him with his missing piece?

Jack walks over, and a few Hunters look at him. It's the typical glare Hunters give people they don't know or trust.

Then Sam says, "Jack?"

"Hello."

"A friend of yours?" one of the Hunters asks.

"Yeah," Sam replies. "He's good."

Jack is not good.

The other Hunters don't relax, but they shift a little so Jack can stand beside Sam and look at the table. The table is covered in sticky notes, pictures, a giant map with red circles on it, and several open lore books. Each Hunter has at least one glass of alcohol next to them.

"What's up with the sunglasses?" It's Dean. He's standing across from Jack.

"I like them."

"Only douchebags wear sunglasses inside."

"Dean," Sam reprimands.

"Can we focus? Please?" Castiel says it while glaring at Dean.

"Yeah, sure," Dean answers but doesn't look at the angel.

The Hunters begin to talk amongst themselves again.

Jack turns to Sam. "What is this?"

Sam grimaces. "The Jack of Hearts." Then he adds, "Uh, the Nephilim."

As if Jack doesn't know who that is.

"You're all Hunting him?" Jack asks.

Sam nods. "Yeah. It's been… No one can find it. Not even Cas. Some of our Hunter buddies were working together, and we decided to meet up, and now almost every Hunter willing to take it down is here."

"Castiel is okay with this?"

Sam chuckles humorlessly. "Not even a little, but he'll take all the help he can get in finding it." Sam hesitates, then whispers, "No one knows he's an angel, so keep that between us, okay?"

"Okay." Jack stares back down at the table. He recognizes some of the pictures now. It's the people he's killed. The red circles on the map are where the kills happened. They're missing a few. They don't have the teens from his first kill for some reason. Maybe that one seemed too much like a werewolf kill for it to be added. They also don't have the campers in Wyoming. They do have the latest priest though. "You're trying to kill it too?"

Sam nods. "Yeah, I… At first I thought we could find it and raise it like Cas wants. But...it's killed a lot of people."

"Yes, it has," Jack agrees. "How are you going to kill it?"

"We're thinking an angel blade will work."

Jack knows it won't. "That seems like a good plan."

"Yeah, we're hoping so." Sam looks at the map then back up. "Did you hear that we were meeting here?"

Jack shakes his head. "I just saw the Impala outside."

"Oh. Lucky coincidence." Sam takes a sip of beer and frowns. He sets it back down. "You want something to drink?"

"No."

There's an awkward silence.

Sam eventually says, "Are you okay? I haven't seen you since you were sick."

Jack shrugs. "I'm better." Maybe he should try to eat an angel heart again. But he can't tell if he's strong enough yet.

"Are you Hunting?"

"Kind of."

Sam nods, his gaze flitting around the room.

Jack knows this is awkward, but he can't care. He just needs to speak to Castiel alone and then he'll leave.

The Hunters are trying to find him, but without any useful lore and no clues as to who Jack is, they keep going in circles. Eventually they decide to take a break.

A few Hunters return to the bar, including Dean. Castiel steps away from the table. Jack follows him.

"Castiel."

Castiel stops and looks at him. His eyes soften the smallest bit. "Hello, Jack. It's nice to see you."

"Can you help me with something?"

Castiel hesitates. His gaze drifts back to the table. "I'm a little busy at the moment, Jack."

"Please."

Castiel meets his gaze. "What do you—"

The door bangs open, and several Hunters walk into the room. One of them is Claire. Jack also notices Kaia. Castiel's eyes light up when he sees Claire.

"We found something!" she says as she and her friends walk over to the tables in the middle of the room. She sets a few books down on the table, and Kaia takes out a laptop from her backpack.

Jack turns back to Castiel, but Castiel is already walking away.

Jack's throat tightens, and his eyes blur with tears.

No, no, no.

He needs to get rid of the box. He needs to get rid of it now.

The Hunters are too preoccupied to notice Jack leave the bar. Jack walks over to the Impala. He opens the trunk and grabs a sticky note. His heart is pounding too loudly. His tears finally spill over as he quickly writes, "For Castiel. I don't want this." He sticks the note onto the box and slams the trunk closed. He opens the driver's side door and puts the box on the seat. He stares at it, rapidly blinking back tears. It looks so small. He hates the power it has over him. Jack closes the door and takes a step back. Something cold and distant washes over him. Good. Being away from the box is already helping. His breathing becomes regular again. He turns away to take his sunglasses off. He wipes his tears. He takes one more deep breath and puts the sunglasses back on. He feels empty. It's good. It's familiar and safe. Things can go back to normal now.

Feeling happy like he used to is not worth feeling upset like that. He can't imagine how strongly he'd feel if he put his missing piece back in for real. Being near it is painful enough.

Jack thinks putting it back inside him might break him.

OOOOOOO

Jack thinks he knows why God left.

People only want Him for His power. Only see Him for His power. Jack can relate. No one wants to know him: the person underneath the power.

Jack wishes he could leave like God did.

OOOOOOO

Jack never should have given his missing piece to Castiel. Now Castiel knows he's the Nephilim. The angel is always reaching out to Jack with his grace, and it's suffocating. It's like a prayer. And since Castiel finally knows who to "pray" to, Jack can feel all of Castiel's love, guilt, and desperation beaming straight at him. But it all means nothing when Jack can hardly feel.

Jack knows Castiel wants him to only feel his love for Jack, but their bond is too strong for Castiel to be able to filter out his other emotions. Jack can sense all of them. Even the way Castiel feels about Dean. If Jack opened his end of their bond, he'd be able to send emotions back. But he doesn't have any emotions to send, so he remains closed-off.

At least he's trying to. But Castiel is so loud. And he's so guilty. Jack can understand. Castiel had been looking for Jack this whole time when Jack had been right there. Maybe Jack should have told Castiel who he was right away. But he can't change the past. He doesn't care to anyway. All he cares about is making Castiel shut up.

It hasn't even been a week, and Castiel's constant stream of emotion is exhausting. This is exactly why Jack decided to give his missing piece away; emotions are too much.

And Jack can't take it anymore. He opens his bond with Castiel just enough to be able to latch onto the angel's grace. He follows it.

Castiel is at the bunker. Jack should've known. He's next to Castiel in a heartbeat.

Castiel is standing by the map table. Sam and Dean are also there. Sam is hunched over a book, and he looks more sad than Jack's ever seen him. Dean is across from him standing next to Castiel. He seems angry. But Dean's seemed angry ever since Jack left, so that's nothing new.

"Will you shut up?" Jack demands, glaring at Castiel.

Sam stands so quickly that his chair falls loudly onto the ground. Castiel and Dean both spin around to look at Jack. For a second, Dean's eyes widen in fear. Then the anger is back.

"Jack," Castiel says and reaches for him.

Jack takes a step back. "Will you stop?"

Castiel takes his hand back and scrunches his brow in confusion. "Stop? Jack, I don't know what you mean." His voice is soft and concerned. It reeks of guilt. Jack hates it. He wishes Castiel didn't know who he was.

"All the…All the emotions," Jack answers.

Castiel raises his eyebrows. "You can feel that?"

"Yes. Now stop."

"I wasn't sure you felt any of that. You never responded. I thought our bond had been broken." Castiel takes a small step forward.

"It's not."

"Jack…" But Castiel doesn't finish. He's breathless, and his eyes are shining. He's trying not to cry.

And Jack knows why. He knows what he is. He knows he's something Castiel never wanted him to be. He knows Castiel hates him.

Castiel swallows, and his next words are soft and broken. "Jack, I'm so sorry."

And then it clicks. All of that guilt Castiel is feeling. He blames himself for Jack becoming a monster. But Castiel shouldn't. This is just who Jack is.

"Then break our bond," Jack says.

Castiel blinks, taken aback. "W-what?"

"Close off your end of the bond like I did."

"No."

Jack huffs. "Why not?"

"Because I'll never give up on you."

Jack can't help but grin at the irony. "Oh, Castiel, it's a bit late for that."

"It's never too late." Dean's voice is gruff.

Jack looks at him. He's surprised Dean is on Castiel's side after all the times Dean's told Castiel he's going to kill the Nephilim. And it turned out Dean had been right this whole time.

Jack probably should be killed.

Dean keeps talking, "Sam lost his soul once. We got him back. We can get you back."

"Soul?" Jack asks.

"Yes," Castiel says. "It's in the box you gave me. ...You didn't know what it was?"

Jack shakes his head, but he supposes it makes sense.

"So, what?" It's Dean again, but his voice is harsher now. "You just decided to take it out without knowing what it was?"

"No," Jack says firmly. He glares at Dean. "I didn't."

Dean holds his gaze. Jack wonders if he can see the glow from his eyes through the sunglasses.

"Someone else took it," Sam says. His voice is quiet. Tired.

Jack ignores him and looks at Castiel. "Cut off our bond."

"Jack…" Castiel begins, "who took your soul?"

Maybe if Jack answers their questions, he can appease Castiel and get the angel to cut off their bond. So Jack says, "Who do you think."

Castiel squeezes his eyes shut. His hands are clenched into fists. A tear runs down his right cheek.

Dean again. "You never left."

"What?" Jack says.

"You didn't leave, did you?" And now Dean's eyes are sparkling with tears. "He found you."

"Yes."

Castiel swallows, his eyes are open now. "Did he hurt you?" His question is a whisper.

"Yes."

"Oh, god," Sam says. He grabs his fallen chair and sits back down. He looks sick.

"But I'm fine now." Jack isn't sure why he has to reassure them.

"No, kid," Dean says. "You're the farthest thing from it."

"I don't care."

"Jack," Sam says. His voice still sounds small. "I know—" He takes a breath. "I know you don't want your soul back. I know what that's like. When I was soulless, I didn't want mine back either. But you have to get it back."

"Why?"

"You just...you just need to trust me, because I know—I know—it makes no sense to you. I know it seems like it's only going to hurt."

"Will it hurt?"

Sam nods. "But it's worth it."

"How?"

Sam swallows. "Don't you miss it? How it was before?"

Jack looks at his feet. Then at the table. He glances at Sam, but finds his gaze returning Castiel. Castiel is no longer crying, but the absolute pain in his eyes makes Jack want to run away. Instead, Jack says, "I do." It feels like a confession.

"Let us help," Castiel says.

"I don't want your help."

It's not about wanting help, dear boy. It's about needing it.

Jack wants to kill that damn prophet a second time.

"Jack," Dean says firmly. "You need our help."

Jack doesn't look at him. He looks at Sam. "How did you do it?"

"How did I—You mean how did I get my soul back?" Sam asks.

"Yeah."

"Uh, Death actually. He put it back. But my soul was locked away. Yours should go back to you without anyone's help."

"I—" Jack suddenly looks at Castiel. Now he's confused. "You could've given it back at any time?"

"Yes."

"But you didn't. I… I kill people, and you didn't put it back. Why?"

Castiel takes another step forward. "Because I know you, Jack."

"No, you don't."

"I do." Castiel reaches for Jack's hands and holds them. Jack lets him. "I still remember when you reached out to me when you were in Kelly's womb. Do you remember that?"

Jack nods.

"All you wanted was to make the world a better place. You wanted to take away everyone's pain and suffering. And—" Castiel's voice wavers. When he speaks next, his voice is a whisper. "I could feel what you were feeling, Jack. I could feel—I could feel how much you loved me. And I've never—I have never felt anything like that. I have never felt anything so good and pure. Jack—" And Castiel cups Jack's face in his hands, forcing Jack to meet his gaze. Jack wonders if Castiel would look into his eyes like this without the sunglasses on. "You are good. And when I realized you were Kelly's son…" Castiel smiles. "It all made sense. I had never met such a kind, sweet person before. I wasn't going to return your soul without being there. I wasn't going to let you feel all of that pain alone."

"But I—" And Jack is surprised at how weak his voice sounds. "But I could've killed more people."

"I know."

"Castiel, this makes no sense. Why would you do this?"

"Because I love you."

"Why?"

"Because I just do. And I…I think of you as my son."

"I am nothing like you."

"You are very much like me."

And Jack feels…something. It's like an echo in an empty castle. The smallest ripple in a still lake. There is something stirring within him. It's small and hardly there, but Jack's emptiness makes the effect resound all the way to his core.

"Can I hug you?"

Castiel smiles. It reaches his eyes, and he somehow looks younger. "Yes, of course."

And then Castiel is pulling him closer, a gentle tug on each of his arms. Jack instinctively leans forward. Castiel's arms are around him, warm and firm. Jack can also feel his grace surrounding him. But it's different now. Instead of crashing into Jack like a wave, Castiel's grace is hovering just outside him. He can feel its warmth and power. It's almost humming. Jack holds onto Castiel, his hands gripping onto the trenchcoat like Castiel might fly away.

Holding Castiel like this, Jack can see Dean watching them. Dean must not know Jack is looking at him due to the sunglasses, because Jack has never seen Dean look like this. Jack can only describe how Dean looks as yearning. Painful, raw yearning. He looks like he wants to be hugged like they are.

Should Jack hug him too?

"You need your soul, Jack," Castiel says softly.

"I'm afraid," Jack whispers.

Castiel pulls away far enough to cup Jack's face in his hands again. "I'll be right here. I promise."

"Forever?"

"I—what do you mean?"

"You will be with me forever?"

"As long as you want me."

"Forever."

Castiel smiles like he did last time. But it might be even happier now. "Then I'll stay with you forever." A beat of silence. "Jack, may I take these off?" Castiel's hands rise up to his sunglasses.

Without thinking, Jack moves his own hands up to grip Castiel's, stopping him.

"Jack?" Castiel asks.

"You won't like it."

"Why don't I decide that for myself?" he replies gently.

Slowly, Jack releases his grip on Castiel.

Castiel takes Jack's sunglasses off, but Jack looks at them as they leave his face. He watches Castiel fold them in one of his hands and keep them there.

Castiel's free hand touches his cheek so softly it feels like a feather. "Jack, look at me."

Jack closes his eyes, trying his best to stop the glowing. He knows it isn't working. He opens his eyes and stares at Castiel.

He's smiling. "There you are."

"I can't do it," Jack blurts. He didn't mean to say that.

"You can. I will be here."

Jack can feel the Winchesters staring at him. He glances at Sam. He doesn't think he can look at Dean.

Sam is still sitting at the table. He smiles reassuringly. Jack can't tell if he's stupid to believe it's for him.

Movement catches his eye, and Jack watches Dean grab the box housing his soul from the ground and set it on the table. Dean stares at the box. His jaw is clenched and his shoulders are tense.

Jack finally says, "Okay." He takes a step back, still looking at the box. "I think I'm ready." He looks up to see Dean staring at him. "Do it."

Sam stands and moves closer to Jack but not as close as Castiel.

Dean opens the box.

A bright light slowly floats up out of the box. It forms a circular ball. It hovers for barely a moment before coming towards Jack. Every instinct Jack has is telling him to fly away as far as he can.

He glances at Castiel.

Castiel nods at him.

The golden light is in front of Jack now. Then it moves straight into him.

Jack feels as if he's unfreezing. Like the white light is unthawing things inside of him that had always been there but had been frozen and hidden. He's a machine waking up after years of inactivity.

But then something changes. Something is wrong.

He can't breathe.

That's when he sees their faces.

The girl who kissed him.

Donatello.

The bad priest.

His grandmother.

Lucifer.

There is blood on his hands. Wet. Hot. Sticky. It's running down his arms. He holds them up, and the blood runs down to his elbows, dripping onto the ground. He gasps, but the blood is in his mouth. Metallic and thick.

He bends forward and gags. He remembers the angels. The power from just one heart. Falling from the sky because he shouldn't have eaten it. He gags again.

He shouldn't have eaten it.

He shouldn't have eaten any of them.

He shouldn't have killed any of them!

He's a killer.

A murderer.

A monster.

He should die.

"Jack."

Warmth. It's familiar somehow.

Jack can hardly see. But he can feel.

The warmth is still there. It's good. It's love. He's felt this before.

"Dad?" Jack asks weakly.

"I'm here, Jack."

Finally, finally his soul seems to snap into place.

The world comes rushing into focus. Jack's heartbeat and breathing are loud. It's all he can hear. He's blinking, trying to force his eyes to adjust to the sudden clarity. It's bright, but he can make out a pair of blue eyes looking at him. Jack knows them.

Castiel.

"I'm here," Castiel says.

Jack thinks it isn't the first time he's said it. "I'm so sorry." He's sobbing.

Then he's being pulled. Castiel's arms are around him. "I know, Jack. I know."

Jack clings onto him. "Castiel, I'm so sorry." Wet tears are running down Jack's cheeks. He buries his face in Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel holds onto him tighter.

And Jack cries. His body shakes with how hard he cries. He closes his eyes and focuses on holding onto Castiel. But even then, he still can't stop thinking about it. Everything. Everyone. The death and blood. The bruises on his skin from Lucifer. How good human hearts taste and how disgusting he is.

Jack moves so his chin is hooked on Castiel's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

One of Castiel's hands moves up to Jack's hair. He pets it softly. "Jack, it's alright. It's over now."

"I'm sorry." Jack screws his eyes closed tighter.

"Shh, shh. It's okay."

Somehow, another sob makes its way out from deep inside him and more tears begin to fall.

And Castiel holds him.

Castiel holds him while he cries again. Castiel holds him when he finally wipes his eyes and won't stop apologizing even though he knows he's said sorry already. It's like it's all he can say. Like it will somehow erase his sins.

Castiel pulls away but grips Jack's shoulders tightly. He's staring into Jack's eyes, and Jack can't look away. "I love you," Castiel says.

Jack shakes his head. "You don't know." He's breathless. "Castiel, you don't know everything I've done."

"It doesn't matter. I will always love you. No matter what."

"W-why?"

"Because you're my family, Jack. And I—I just do. There is no way I can't love you."

Jack's shaking his head again.

Castiel cups his face to stop the movement. "Yes. I love you."

"I don't deserve it."

"You do, Jack. And I know you. And I know you deserve to be loved."

"Castiel—" And Jack's voice is shaking, but he'd do anything not to cry again. Well, not anything but—

"Can I help you fall asleep?" It's so gentle it's almost tentative. "You need rest. I can keep the nightmares away."

Jack sniffs and nods. He wipes a hand over his face. It's wet everywhere. It's only then that he realizes the Winchesters aren't there anymore.

Castiel places a hand on Jack's back and guides him down the hallway. The only noise is their footsteps and the quiet buzz of the lights. Jack realizes they're going to his room. They finally reach it, and part of Jack doesn't want to sleep, but he can feel the tug of it pulling him already. Crying so hard drained him. He hasn't felt this tired in a long time.

"I'll be with you," Castiel reassures quietly.

Jack nods again. "Okay."

He walks into the room. It's different seeing it now with his soul. He's filled with a bittersweet longing. He misses how things were before he lost his soul. He wants to go back. It looks the exact same, and for just a second, Jack feels like no time has passed at all. But so much has happened. Everything is different now. Things will never be the same.

Jack sits on his bed and begins to pull his boots off.

Castiel grabs the chair at the desk. It scrapes loudly. The angel sits across from Jack. Then Castiel asks, "Are those Dean's boots?"

"Yes." Jack looks at them fondly. "He gave them to me before a Hunt."

"You kept them."

"Yes, I…" There are faded streaks of dirt and odd-colored drops that look too much like blood on the boots.

"You what?" Castiel prompts, bringing Jack back to the present.

"I think…" Jack nudges the left boot with his socked foot. "I think I missed him."

"Dean?"

"Yes. And Sam. But you especially." Jack nudges the boot again, and it falls.

"Jack."

He instinctively looks up and regrets it. But Castiel is looking at him warmly. Like he's somehow happy Jack is here.

Castiel says, "I love you."

Jack looks down again. He brings his feet up onto the bed and shrugs off his coat. Except for the color, it looks almost exactly like Castiel's. Jack feels betrayed by it. He tosses it onto the ground and glares at it.

"Would you like me to put you to sleep?"

Jack doesn't look at Castiel when he nods. He pulls back the covers and slips under them. He hears Castiel move before the angel appears in his field of vision.

Castiel smiles. It's small but warm. There's a peace in Castiel's eyes making them look lighter in color. Almost softer.

Castiel reaches down and brushes Jack's hair out of his face. "I'm glad you came to me."

Jack feels tears starting to form again and closes his eyes.

"I'm going to take care of you," Castiel promises.

Castiel brushes Jack's hair once more, then he taps Jack's forehead, putting him to sleep.

OOOOOOO

Even before he lost his soul, Jack didn't sleep much. But now he sleeps a lot. He goes to bed earlier than he ever has. Or he'll get into bed early and stay up super late playing Minecraft on Sam's iPad. He never wakes up before 11. And when he does wake up, he stays in bed pretending to sleep or playing more Minecraft. No one has said anything to him about it, but Dean will give him a pointed look when he walks in for breakfast at lunchtime.

Castiel is always kind to him. Jack hates himself even more because of it. He doesn't deserve it. Not even a little. He wants to prove himself to show he is good now. And that he wants to help. But they haven't been Hunting, and no one has asked him to do anything yet. He doesn't even do the dishes. Dean always takes them away when he's finished eating. He does his own laundry but that's about it.

Sometimes Jack skips dinner, so he won't waste their food.

At least his eyes don't glow anymore. It must be the lack of human hearts. But Jack can't be certain.

He heard all three of them talking quietly in the library one day. But when he walked in, they went silent.

He wants to leave.

Castiel doesn't stay in his room anymore. Which is fine. Good even. That way he can play Minecraft for hours before he sleeps.

He wakes up to the sound of knocking. Jack turns and looks at the time on the iPad. It's almost 4:30am. He hasn't even been asleep a full two hours yet. Jack lurches out of bed. He opens the door, and he isn't sure what he's seeing. He was expecting Castiel, and he's too tired to make sense of things right now.

"Hey," Sam greets softly. "We're going to leave in fifteen minutes."

"Mmm," Jack replies and closes his door.

He makes his way to his dresser and absently picks out some clothes. He knows it won't matter much if they're Hunting. Clothes usually get dirty on a Hunt anyway. He has to re-tie his boots three times because he's too tired to do it right. Then he heads out of his room.

Sam is waiting by the map table. He's on his phone but looks up and smiles when he sees Jack.

Jack automatically follows Sam to the garage but stops when he realizes they're alone.

"Where's Dean and Castiel?" Jack sounds like he just woke up.

"Oh, uh, it's just gonna be us if that's okay."

"Okay." Jack is too tired to care.

They both get into the Impala. Jack buckles his seatbelt.

"You like these, right?" Sam is holding out an energy drink. But it doesn't say Monster. This one says Rockstar. Jack already knows he likes this one better.

"Yes." He takes it. "Thank you."

Sam turns the Impala on and drives out of the garage. The sky is dark blue with pre-dawn light. It feels cold but fresh. Jack lets himself enjoy looking out the window for a few minutes. Sam keeps the car silent. Jack appreciates it.

Once they get off the gravel road, Jack pops the tab on the can and takes a sip of his drink. It's good.

Sam is drinking out of a travel mug. It's steaming. It must be coffee. Sam bought these special coffee grounds the other day that Dean teased him for, but Jack's seen Dean use them. But he usually gives the coffee to Castiel. Castiel seems to like it a lot.

The caffeine is working, and Jack finally notices their surroundings. They're on the highway heading West.

"Where are we going?" Jack asks.

"A farmers' market."

Jack blinks and turns to look at Sam. "We're not going on a Hunt?"

"What?" Sam glances at him. "Dude, no way. It's way too early to go Hunting."

"Oh." Jack sips his drink. "I agree."

Sam chuckles, and Jack can't help but smile a little.

The farmers' market isn't what Jack is expecting. It's just a bunch of people with stands selling things from their farms. But people sell everything. Some people sell meat. Some sell vegetables. There are three different farmers selling honey. Others sell homemade crafts like jewelry and keychains. Everyone is so nice too. They all think Jack is Sam's son, and Sam and Jack stop correcting people after the fourth time. Jack doesn't mind. He doesn't think Sam does either.

Jack takes a nap on the drive back. The drive is over an hour, and he wakes up ten minutes from home. There is music quietly playing, and it's a band Jack's never heard before.

They pull into the garage, and Jack helps Sam bring in the groceries.

Dean is in the kitchen. An empty mug is on the table, and his back is to them as he works on cooking something on the stove. It smells amazing. Jack is hungry.

"How was the farmers' thing?" Dean asks without turning around.

"It's called a farmers' market, and it was good," Sam replies.

Dean turns as he says, "Get anything g—" His eyes land on Jack. He looks at Sam. "Did Jack go with you?"

"Yeah," Sam says while grabbing a couple jars of jam and honey from a paper bag.

Dean looks at Jack again. "Did you like it?"

"Yes. Everyone was very nice. But it was too early."

Dean chuckles. "Yeah, I agree with you. Sam's crazy."

Jack grins.

"Fine, I'll just ask Cas to go with me next time," Sam teases.

"Ask me what?" Castiel says as he walks into the kitchen.

"Wanna go with me to the farmers' market next week?"

Castiel opens his mouth to answer, but then he sees Jack and freezes. He glances at Sam then back to Jack. "Did you go to the farmers' market?"

"Yes," Jack replies. "But it was too early."

"Oh. When did you leave?" Castiel asks.

Sam answers, "Like 4:45ish."

"I suppose that is quite early," Castiel comments.

Dean chuckles again. "You suppose? That's way too early, man. It's nice to have someone normal here who isn't awake at freakish hours of the morning like you two." Dean waves a spatula at Sam and Cas.

"There's nothing wrong with getting an early start to the day, Dean," Sam retorts.

"Yeah, but there is something wrong with going to bed at 9pm every night, grandpa."

"Are you done cooking?" Sam deflects.

Dean huffs. "Yeah, I'm almost done."

Castiel makes himself a cup of coffee and sits beside Jack. Sam is across from them on his phone. Dean appears carrying three plates. He sets them down in front of Sam and Jack. He keeps one for himself.

"What is this?" Jack asks.

"It's an omelet," Dean says. His mouth is somehow full already. "Wait, have you never seen one before?"

Jack shakes his head.

"What did you eat then?" Dean asks.

"What?"

"When you were soulless. If you didn't eat omelets, what did you eat?"

And it's an innocent question. But Jack had thought they'd known. It's obvious to him, but he supposes it isn't to anyone else. Did they think he was ripping people's hearts out just for the fun of it? He guesses so.

"The hearts," Jack answers. He stabs his omelet with his fork. His appetite is entirely gone.

"The...huh?" Dean says.

Jack begins to cut the omelet into pieces. "The people I killed. I ate their hearts." He feels all their eyes on him, but he keeps cutting. The pieces of his omelet are getting small now.

It's too silent.

They won't look away.

He's a monster. A terrible, disgusting thing.

"He made me," Jack says to try and explain. "Lucifer gave them to me at first. But then I couldn't stop."

There's a second of silence before Dean says, "So, Lucifer just gave you free reign after he started to feed you? And when is that shoe going to drop? Because I've asked Cas to talk to you abo—"

"Dean!" Cas interrupts.

Dean drops his fork loudly and glares. "C'mon, Cas. We know the Devil is after him, and we know he's going to find us eventually. We have to ask Jack where he is!"

"It's too soon, Dean."

"No, Cas, that's the problem. It's not too soon. Lucifer gets us every single damn time, and I'm not letting him get the jump on us now!"

And this is something else Jack thought they knew. He thought Lucifer's death was big news. The demons certainly knew. Well, some of them. But...Jack killed and drank all the demons that were loyal to Lucifer and came after him. So maybe not many demons know after all. But...Jack also thought the angels would've known. They should've felt an archangel's death, right? Then Jack remembers when they only sent five angels after him. He had been arrogant at the time and found it almost amusing. Now he realizes they just didn't know how strong he was. Or that he killed Lucifer.

Castiel and Dean are arguing for real now.

"Stop!" Jack says. They all look at him again. And then quieter, he says, "Please."

Sam looks between Dean and Cas before looking at Jack. "Jack...do you know where he is?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter."

"Why?" Dean asks.

"Because I killed him."

"You—" Sam begins. Then he slumps back. He looks off into the distance. He looks...relieved.

"You killed an archangel?" Castiel asks. He sounds surprised.

"Yes."

"Well, damn, kid," Dean says.

Dean is eying him. Castiel is too. Jack can't tell if they're happy or afraid.

Jack stands suddenly. "I'm going to take a nap."

He barely makes it to his room without crying. Then he cries himself to sleep.

OOOOOOO

Jack spends the rest of the day in bed. He plays Minecraft but then a creeper blows up part of his house, and he cries again. He closes the game. It's not even 5pm yet, but Jack decides to go to bed. Sleep comes easily. He's grateful his body is on board with his plan of being asleep as much as possible.

Lucifer is towering above him. One of his hands is around Jack's throat. He's holding something in his other hand. Jack doesn't know what it is but he knows it's horrible. It's dark and evil. Jack needs to get away from it right now.

"I told you to eat it!" Lucifer roars.

"No, please!" Jack tries to say, but Lucifer's grip is too tight for him to speak. Jack gasps, and Lucifer shoves whatever is in his hand in Jack's mouth.

It's warm and wet and moving.

It's pulsing.

It's a heart!

It's a human heart!

Jack tries to spit it out, but it's like the heart has a mind of its own, and it moves down his throat. His throat burns. The heart is too big. He's going to suffocate.

Lucifer stares down with red glowing eyes. He's laughing.

Jack sits up and gasps. He puts a hand on his throat. Lucifer isn't holding him.

Lucifer is dead actually.

Jack breathes in again. There's nothing in his throat. He's okay.

His heartbeat fills his ears, and he tries to breathe evenly.

It was a dream. It was just a nightmare. He's okay.

Jack lays back down, but he can't relax. He rolls over, but now his heartbeat is too loud. He can't rest with it beating so loudly. He flops over on his back. He closes his eyes and focuses on slowing his breathing. He finally begins to drift a little.

Red glowing eyes.

Jack immediately opens his eyes. He'd already begun to dream another nightmare.

He needs to get out of here.

He's stumbling towards his door before he realizes he's out of bed. He opens his door, but the hallway lights are too bright. But Jack needs to leave his room, so he blindly walks down the hallway. He follows where his feet lead him. He stops at Dean's door.

He should go back to his room.

His adrenaline is pumping so strongly that his hand shakes as he opens the door.

"Dean?"

There's movement on the bed. Then a muffled, "Mmmrrf?"

"Dean, it's me."

The covers move again, but Dean doesn't make a noise this time.

"Can I come in?"

"C'mere." It's slurred with sleep.

Jack closes the door behind himself as he walks into Dean's room. As Jack walks towards the Hunter's bed, he realizes he doesn't really know why he's here. Or what he's doing.

Dean moves again, and Jack sees an arm emerge out of the mound covers and pat the empty space beside him. Jack only hesitates a second before climbing on. The covers are moving again, and some of them are placed on Jack.

"Thank you, Dean," he whispers.

"Mmm."

Jack doesn't get any more nightmares that night.

OOOOOOO

Something moves next to him. Jack's eyes flick open. He holds his breath. There's more movement, and Jack turns over. Dean is there. In Jack's bed.

But wait.

Jack's sleepy brain finally comes online. He remembers going to Dean's room after getting a nightmare. Oh. This...this is embarrassing.

Dean's rubbing his eyes. He looks over at Jack, and they make eye contact.

Jack's entire body freezes.

Dean is going to be so mad. Jack shouldn't have come here.

Dean says something along the lines of, "G'morning." but his voice is so raspy and the word is more of a mumble that Jack isn't sure if that's what he really said.

Dean sits up and runs a hand through his hair. It makes it worse. Dean looks down at Jack, and his eyes are unfocused and bloodshot from sleep. Then he's leaning down, and Jack thinks Dean might hit him or choke him like Lucifer, but all Dean does is kiss his head then ruffle his hair and stand up and leave.

Jack stares at the open door. He still isn't sure what happened. He turns to lay on his side and falls back asleep.

OOOOOOO

Jack only sleeps in Dean's room when the nightmares are unbearable.

OOOOOOO

Sam and Dean are gone for a Hunt, and Castiel takes Jack to a park. Castiel explains that this park has a thing called a community garden where you can pay to have a certain piece of this huge garden to plant whatever you want on it. Castiel says he has a piece of this garden.

"So what did you plant?" Jack asks as they walk closer. The garden is an amalgamation of colors and different plants of various shapes and sizes. Jack doesn't know how Castiel can tell anything apart.

"I'll show you," Castiel replies. He leads Jack to a space on the corner. "No one wants the corner spaces since other people at the park tend to walk over them. But I like the challenge. I also have grace to use if any of the plants need it."

Jack smiles at the mental image of Castiel kneeling next to a withering sprout and causing it to bloom with the gentlest touch.

There are sunflowers in Castiel's space. The petals are a vibrant, lively yellow. Bees are hopping between the flowers. They sway gently in the warm breeze. Jack lightly brushes the stem of the one closest to him. He says, "Castiel, these are beautiful." He turns to see Castiel looking at him.

He's smiling at Jack with a full, warm smile. It makes his eyes shine. "Thank you, Jack." Castiel looks down at one of the flowers. He caresses his fingers over the petals. "Sometimes I'm not sure if they're better off with someone else."

"They're not," Jack answers immediately.

Castiel looks up in surprise.

"They can't have anyone better taking care of them," Jack says confidently.

Castiel looks wistfully back down at his flowers. "Thank you, Jack," he repeats.

"Castiel?"

The angel looks at him. His gaze is surprisingly intense. "Yes?"

"I love you."

Castiel's breath hitches, and his eyes widen. He swallows. "I love you, too."

"I know. But…you know I love you, right?"

"I… Yes, I do now."

Jack surges forward and hugs Castiel tightly. A moment later, Castiel's arms encircle Jack. They hold each other.

"I thought about you every day," Jack quietly confesses into Castiel's shoulder.

"When?" the angel whispers back.

"When I didn't have a soul. I almost told you so many times."

"And you did."

"Not really."

"Giving me your soul—even when you didn't know what it was—that was you telling me, Jack."

Jack squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn't want to cry at the community garden.

"I love you," Castiel tells him.

"I love you too."

They both end up crying at the community garden.

OOOOOOO

Jack thought he was getting better. But last night he dreamed about that priest in Maine. The one who didn't even have time to scream. After he woke up, Jack knew he wouldn't go back to sleep even if he went to Dean's room. So he plays Minecraft to keep his mind off it. He plays for hours and gets a lot of mining done and almost finishes the diner he's building across the lake from his house. And then his door suddenly opens.

"Alright, kid," Dean says. "It's almost noon. You have to get up."

Jack ignores him.

"Hey!" Dean yanks the iPad from Jack's hands.

And for a split second, Jack is back in the room Lucifer put him in. The one with just the bed and no covers. Where he would sleep facing the door, so he could see when Lucifer walked in. And in that moment, it isn't Dean standing over him, it's Lucifer. And he's going to hit Jack. Jack flinches.

Dean notices, and they lock eyes. Jack's heartbeat skyrockets, and he immediately turns away and pulls the blankets over his head.

There's a moment of silence, and then Jack hears Dean set the iPad down on his nightstand and walk out of the room. But he doesn't close the door.

Jack tries to go back to sleep, but he's too hot under the covers. He angrily gets out of bed and heads to the shower. He takes a shower long enough for the water to get cold out of spite. He wanders into the kitchen after his shower. Dean is there.

Dean's sitting at the table but stands when Jack enters the room. "Hey, Jack, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"I don't care, Dean. It's not my iPad anyway, so you can take it." Jack swiftly turns and leaves. He doesn't know where to go, and he ends up in the library. He sits in the one comfy-looking chair that turns out to be not comfortable at all and glares at the stacks of books.

All too soon, Sam wanders in, but he's reading a book and doesn't notice Jack. Jack hopes Sam will eventually feel his glare and leave him alone. But Sam only notices Jack after he's returned his book and turns around. He stops in surprise.

"Oh," Sam says. "I didn't see you. I hope I didn't disturb you."

"You can have your iPad back if you want."

"Huh? Oh." Sam shrugs. "You can keep it. I don't really use it since I have my laptop."

Jack huffs and glares at the wall. He crosses his arms.

Sam asks, "Are you okay?"

"Go away."

Sam doesn't say anything, but he doesn't leave either.

Jack finally looks at him.

Then Sam asks, "Do you want something to eat?"

"No."

"Have you eaten today?"

"Go away, Sam."

"Okay." But he sounds defeated.

The second Sam is out of sight, Jack regrets not asking for food. He should really learn how to cook.

I didn't have to cook when I ate hearts.

Jack jumps out of the chair. Where the hell did that thought come from? His blood turns to ice. No. No. He can't be reverting, can he? It's not possible. There's no way. Jack won't let it happen. He just won't. Suddenly, the silence in the library is too loud. It's pressing into Jack, nearly consuming him. He flies out of the library and lands in the kitchen.

Sam yelps in surprise. But he must see something on Jack's face because he immediately says, "Jack, what's wrong?"

"Can I have a smoothie?"

Sam blinks. "Uh, yeah." They stare at each other for a moment. Sam continues, "What kind do you want?"

"The best kind." Jack thinks it's obvious.

Confusion flashes over Sam's face before he smiles. He chuckles and shakes his head. "You really are Cas' kid, huh?"

Jack grins. "Thank you."

Sam takes a step towards the refrigerator before turning back. "Do you want me to show you how to make one?"

Jack answers, "Yes. I would like that."

Sam smiles. "Okay, cool."

It's surprisingly easy to make a smoothie. And Sam is a great teacher. He's very patient and clear with his instructions. It reminds Jack of when Dean taught him how to drive.

Soon, they're both sipping on strawberry-banana smoothies.

"This is good," Jack comments. "Thank you, Sam."

Sam smiles. "You're welcome."

A light, peaceful silence falls over them.

"Hey, Jack?"

"Yes?"

"It's perfectly normal to have a bad day."

Jack stirs his straw in his smoothie. The straw is metal and scrapes the bottom of his cup. "Okay."

"I mean it. I get them all the time. So does Dean. Even Cas."

Jack looks up at that. "Really?" he says softly. "How do you…how do you feel better?"

Sam shrugs. "You don't really. You just know it's going to be a bad day and let yourself feel bad. But you also know that tomorrow will be different."

"Good different or bad different?"

"You never know for sure, but it's usually good."

Jack nods and turns Sam's words over in his head. "Okay. Thank you." He takes a sip of his drink. "I was mean to Dean earlier. I should…apologize?" He looks up at Sam.

Sam's smiling. He nods. "Yeah, probably."

Jack pushes his smoothie away.

"Whoa, Jack," Sam says. "You don't have to apologize right now. Just soon."

"Oh. Okay." Jack grabs his drink back and takes a long sip. "I like smoothies."

"Yeah, me too."

OOOOOOO

Jack really likes the fall seasonal drinks at Starbucks. His favorite is the Pumpkin Spice Latte. He told Dean, and Jack thinks Dean almost had a panic attack. But then Jack somehow convinced Dean to take him to Starbucks, so Jack could prove that it was good. Dean said he hated it but ended up drinking most of Jack's drink. Now they go to Starbucks together sometimes. Dean orders the Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Jack and Dean just came back to the bunker from Starbucks. Dean made them throw their cups away at a McDonald's parking lot to hide the evidence. They're in between Hunts right now, and Dean says he's planning a big dinner tonight, and he told Sam not to spoil his appetite. Jack thinks it's a little strange for Dean to say that right after he and Jack got Starbucks.

Jack finds Castiel sitting on the couch in the Dean Cave. He races to his room and grabs his iPad before joining Castiel on the couch. He lays down so his head rests on Castiel's lap. Castiel gently runs his hands through Jack's hair.

Jack opens Minecraft, and Castiel asks, "What are you building today?"

Jack grins up at Castiel. "I'm about to finish my garden."

"What else did you put in it? Last time you were putting in berries."

"Well," Jack explains, "I have all of the flowers now. I just need to plant the pink ones."

"I bet it looks wonderful."

"I can show you when it's finished, if you want."

"I would like that."

Jack smiles up at him again, and Castiel smiles back.

"How long is Dean going to take?" Sam complains as he walks into the room. He sits in the recliner Dean says is his, but whenever they watch movies together, Dean sits between Jack and Castiel.

"I'm not sure," Castiel answers. "It can't be much longer."

"Good," Sam replies. "I'm hungry." Sam pulls out his phone, and the room grows quiet.

A few moments later, Dean walks into the room. "Okay, it should be ready in thirty minutes."

"Thirty minutes!" Sam exclaims.

"Hey, I don't have to cook for you."

Sam huffs. "Fine. But I'm hungry, Dean. You better have made enough."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Don't worry, Sasquatch. I made enough for you."

"And me!" Jack says.

Dean smiles at him. "And you." He walks over to the couch. "Move your legs."

Without looking away from his iPad, Jack sits up and moves closer to Castiel. Dean sits next to Jack.

"What are you making?" Dean asks.

"A garden."

"Has Cas seen it?"

"Not yet. I'm almost done. Then I'll show him." Jack can see Dean and Castiel exchange a smile out of the corner of his eye. Sometimes Jack thinks they think he's blind or can't see them or something. He thinks Sam might feel that way too.

Jack plants his last flower and steps back, taking in what he's made. He sits back on the couch and allows himself to enjoy his creation. He looks over to Castiel. The angel is smiling as he texts someone. It looks like he's texting Dean. Dean's phone buzzes a second later, confirming Jack's suspicion. Dean takes his phone out of his pocket and smiles when he reads the text.

And this is…this is peace.

Jack never thought he'd have this. Even when he didn't have a soul and thought he was content, he didn't think it could ever be this quiet. And happy. He never thought Castiel would even want to look at him again. But Castiel loves him. Jack knows this. Jack can feel it in their bond. And Jack knows Sam and Dean love him too. He loves them. He loves all of them. They're his family. That's also something he never thought he'd have. Jack thinks about his grandparents sometimes. Maybe he should visit them again.

Castiel nudges his shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

Jack grins and looks down. "I'm just…very happy."

Castiel smiles. "Good. I am too."

"You guys are saps," Dean says.

Jack looks at him and squints. "Why? Are you not happy?"

"Well…no, I am, but…" Dean's cheeks turn pink. "I dunno. I guess I'm also…very happy. With you guys."

Jack beams. Then he looks behind Dean. "Are you happy, Sam?"

Sam's smiling at him. "I really am, Jack."

"Good. Just checking."

Sam chuckles. "I'm glad you're here, Jack."

"Me too," Jack agrees. Then he adds, "I love you guys."

"Alright, that's it," Dean says and begins to stand up. "Officially too sappy." But he kisses Jack on the top of his head. "Dinner will be ready soon. Gotta make sure it's cooked evenly."

Dean's nearly out the door when Castiel says, "Wait, Dean, let me help you."

Jack's about to ask if he can join but decides against it when he sees Dean grab Castiel's hand as they walk into the hall.

Jack looks over to see Sam staring at the empty doorway.

Sam shakes his head then mutters, "Well, that explains a lot." He looks back at his phone.

And Jack smiles. Because he really is happy.