George is a ghost and is haunting Dream.

I wrote this and started using Dream's real name. I'm too lazy to change it right now or edit because it's 4 am. But I should get around to it.

TW: Mentions Of Suicide! And Depressed thoughts

George POV

March 17, 2021

Four years. I've been here alone for four years perfectly fine on my own. But then a blond boy with a freckled face is suddenly taking a large interest in my home. Not his home, but mine.

"This place is gorgeous." The blond said to a brunette woman next to him. I assumed she was the realtor.

"I don't know if gorgeous is the word but it holds a lot of history." Even the realtor unsure of the sale. "Are you sure, here? Of all the places I showed you?" The blond gave her a confident smile.

"Something is pulling me to stay here." A genuine, warm smile spread on his lips. He placed a hand on the wall, true excitement growing in his eyes. "You can feel it. There is so much life in these walls. A lot of potential." I froze. He dropped his hand and looked around. I knew he couldn't see me. He only could if I allowed it, which I wasnt going to.

How could he want this place? It was mine! My shithole! A complete piece of work!

Like me.

Thats why the house and I were such a good duo. We matched, we complemented one another.

"Are you sure?" The blond nodded.

"Of course, I'll take it." The woman sighed.

"Look, there are some issues. But you've always liked a challenge and surprises, so I'll let you figure it out on your own. Lots of people have seen some stuff here." She sighed again. "I'll let you have a test run for the rest of the month."

"The month? Two weeks?" The blond asked.

"Yes, if you want to back out of the deal then you are more welcome to. April 1st. Thats when you can choose for real."

"Thank you Puffy. The only realtor I can trust." the woman - Puffy - smiled.

"Anytime, Clay." Puffy thew, Clay, the keys, "Enjoy your new, er, home."

No. Not your new home. Mine.

March 19, 2021

"You're not so bad," Clay said, patting the wall as someone would to an old friend's shoulders. "You need some work but all in all you're historically beautiful."

I was a little proud of that. I had done a fantastic job at preserving my Gran's house. Although I had been reckless and not left it to anyone before I passed. The neighbor. Anyone in town. I knew I was friends with everyone in the small town. I just didn't have a family to leave it to, Grandma was all I had left.

The last four years had taken a toll on the already ancient house.

"Maybe you need a fresh coat of paint?" He almost seemed to be asking permission. "Re-stain the trim?" Fine. This was all fine. He was just tidying up, that's all.

"New wood floors?" You mean the gorgeous antique flooring? No.

"Get rid of that god-awful stain glass at the top of the stairs?" No. No. Gran loved that stained glass.

I couldn't hold it back. I looked over at the phone sitting on the table and threw it across the room. Clay looked around in shock as if looking for someone else who saw it. He was alone of course, so nothing. He stood there in the center of the living room alone, trying to figure out if that's what he really saw.

I looked at the phone, cracks were spread across the screen. Shit.

I was huffing and puffing for air that I didn't need. My shoulders rising and falling with my anger.

The man looked at his now broken phone with wide eyes, holding his hands up in surrender. "Okay. Okay. Nothing has to change. We'll keep it."

He had to go.

March 21, 2021

It was always off having someone new in your house. I hated it. He was in my room, in my living room. He was using my closet and the antique chest of drawers that has been there since I was five. He was completely taking over and he had no clue as to how much it got under my skin.

But now, I got used to hearing the shower every night. And if I don't, I know that Clay was too tired from working all day to even bother. So when I didn't hear the water run, it almost worried me. I guess my body is going crazy at the little amount of company, even though he had no clue I was here. Honestly, I couldn't have been here and he would still have no clue, it would be no different for him. But for me, if he were gone, I don't know If I could go back to being alone. Despite how much I hate him.

I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring. But before Clay could get to the door to answer, the man let himself in. "Heyo Clay! You there!?"

"Yeah! Coming, Nick!" I watched as Clay jogged his way down the steps. "Where is she?" He asked greedily.

"Pspspsp, Patches..." She immediately came running. I was surprised that she was so obedient. My past cats would never.

"Ah, Patches! I missed you!" I couldn't hold back the smile. It was sweet. A nice wholesome reunion.

Even for a jackass.

"So this is it, huh?" Who I assumed to be, Nick, looked around for a moment. "It's, well, nice." He gave a very unconvincing smile.

"Gee thanks!" I yelled, rolling my eyes. Clay froze.

"Did you hear that?" Clay asked. Nick shrugged, giving him an odd look.

"No?" Clay looked around. The same look he had the other day when I threw the phone was plastered on his face. "Should I have?"

"No. It was nothing. It was probably just the wind." It was darker now, outside. Around seven. "Anyway, how was Patches for you? Thanks for watching her by the way."

"She was good, she missed her Dad though. I think she thought you abandoned her." Clay picked up his cat. Kissing her on her head.

"Never, I love her too much."

Nick smiled. "So when are you getting the rest of your stuff?" Clay looked around, seeming to be content.

"What stuff?" Clay raised an eyebrow.

"You're not serious..." Nick asked deadpan.

Clay shrugged not seeming to find anything wrong with it, "I have my PC and my essentials. The dining room table and the sofa is nice. I don't need anything more than that right now."

Nick Changed the subject. "Have you explored?"

"Everywhere but the attic."

"Can we explore it?" If I had a heart, it would have stopped. The attic was where my entire life was. Everything that represented me was in those boxes up there. I didn't want him up there, hell I didn't go up there. I don't remember much about my life, but I obviously had a reason for ending it. I didn't want to learn that reason yet.

I remembered a lot about my childhood and even up to my teen years. Maybe a year or two back. But the last two years before I died it was fuzzy. Nothing added up, nothing made sense. All I knew was that I loved this house, I always had, and that wasn't going to change.

Maybe soon I would go up there and learn about myself. But not yet. I didn't have a reason to.

Clay quickly answered. "No. The person who lived here before has their stuff up there. I don't want to rifle through it. That just feels wrong." Nick's face fell.

"Lame."

"Sure. Sure." Clay chuckled.

Maybe Clay wasn't all that bad. Just maybe.

March 23, 2021

I was sitting in the kitchen when I heard the sound of wood cracking. I quickly ran to the living room.

I could've screamed. There was Clay. An axe and a sledgehammer were sitting on the floor waiting to be used as Clay ripped out the seat to the bay window.

I was lost for words. I couldn't move, so I just sat there frozen in time as he destroyed the one spot that meant something to me.

Clay picked up the axe and swung again. He might as well have aimed it at me because it hurt just as much.

Chopped wood flew back. "Stop!" So many memories there.

"Stop please!" Another swing.

"Please!" Another.

"STOP CLAY!" He froze. His shoulders rising and falling as he caught his breath. He turned around and it felt like his eyes were burning into mine. He ignored my pleads and dove the axe into the wood again and again.

I fell to the ground on my knees. I couldn't move. He was destroying it.

Screw him. Maybe thinking he could be good.

He had to leave.

I was going to do whatever it took to get him out of this house by the end of the month.

And if I'm lucky maybe even sooner.

March 25, 2021

I had a plan. Drive Clay out of here. I had to get him out of my house. To do that, I had to make his life a living hell. That shouldn't be a thing too difficult to do, right? I am a ghost, after all, I had an advantage.

-When he was in the shower? Clog the sink.

-When he was asleep? The dishes in the cupboard just happen to fall out and shatter on the ground.

-When he was in the middle of a stream? He just accidentally blows a fuse and then his PC doesn't turn on for three days. (I love that I know my shit about computers.)

-Having a girl over? Books fall off the shelves while they were in the living room. (It was a mirthful and sugary sweet experience watching her come up with an excuse to suddenly need to leave. And watching him huff with annoyance.)

Though, even after all of this, he was still going to bed in the bedroom without a care. My bedroom. I needed him out of my bedroom.

Sometimes I wondered if he saw me. Sometimes I think he did, or at least caught glances at me when I did things. I could hide from him when I wanted, but that took every. I didn't always have the strength to get away from him in time to recharge. Especially after doing things like knocking down books.

If he did see me, I just hope that scared him off even more.

March 27, 2021

"Nick, Nick, no you don't understand. It's every day, they are making my life a living hell."

"Dude, come on. Are you sure? A ghost? Thats a little absurd." Clay nodded vigorously. I was currently trying to block out the pair. I was sitting in the living room having a nice time then Nick showed up and the two of them wouldn't shut their mouths since.

Still though, hearing that my plan was working was savory.

"Then why don't you get rid of it? Have like a priest come here." For some reason, the idea of that sent a pain to my heart. (Figuratively speaking of course.) His words had a sting to them. This was my home, the thought of leaving it right now was nerve-wracking. Besides, why did Nick get any say in this?

My home.

My say-

Well, not entirely.

I was the one who had given it up, wasn't I?

Sometimes I had forgotten how this all started. Snippets of my life would flash before my eyes. I remembered people, but not so many memories. It was all senses and feelings. Like the feeling the bench in the living room gave me. Or the thought of my grandmother, how it sent love through my veins. Or the online friends I had. Every once in a while though, I would recognize a voice.

The only memory that had stuck with me for my entire time here in the 'after life'.

My Best friend, my online friend. "You're my best friend..." Was all I could have a memory of with him.

I still couldn't remember his name though.

Just how I felt for him.

The admiration and the love. I still feel it sometimes, clustering inside of me and overflowing until I couldn't take it anymore.

But I can't place his name. Or what he looks like. Just his voice.

This wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be in heaven or limbo or some shit. Not here, not still in my house left to my own devices, just like before. If I wanted to be here I never would have gone through with it in the first place. I just would have stayed alive. It wouldn't have been worth it. But I was still here, alone, and sad, just like before. Just this time, I was left with even fewer distractions.

A thought dawned on me. A perfect idea on how to get him out. This had to scare him out, right? It would do just the trick.

How could Clay live here knowing that a guy had died in his house?

I made my way to Clay's computer and looked up the article. Pinning it to his screen for when he woke up in the morning.

A sad decision that I had made that I would use to drive a man out of my home.

March 28, 2021

I sat outside Clay's room. Patches being one of the only creatures I can't hide from, insisted on sitting out here with me. I loved that Clay's cat loved me more than she did him.

George: 6

Clay: 1

Me having gotten my points from all the pranks and him... well he got his from the bay window. The only thing that had earned him a point. This next idea I had in store, was going to be the game point. I had no doubt about it.

"Patchessssss..." Clay whined. "Pspspsps, here girl..." I chuckled. She's mine now. She was sitting next to me, content. I heard Clay groan. "Come on. Please, girl." I couldn't help the smile creeping onto my lips. Knowing that he spoke to his cat-like this was undeniably adorable.

I gestured my head toward the door while looking at Patches. Reluctantly, she got up and strutted into the room, a sliver of sass in her movements. I smiled at Clay's excited reaction. It was going to be my last day with him, I assumed. I couldn't deny that yes, he was insanely attractive.

For a few more minutes I finally heard Clay get up. Just like any other day he would spend the first few minutes of his morning checking his email and his notifications.

That sounded weird that I knew that.

I didn't have anything else to occupy with myself okay! It was the two of us together every day, I picked up on things.

Like how he dumped the veggies from his ramen.

And how he would spend more time than he should on Reddit.

Or that sometimes he would talk to himself like he was in the middle of a daydream. Too entranced in it that he didn't even realize the conversation was alloud.

"Can you see them, Patches?" Clay asked. I peeked into the doorway, a little intrigued. The moment I did, Patches' attention turned onto me. "Are they there?" He asked, peering down at her. "I don't think they enjoy me being here."

He was talking to me.

Why?

"Sometimes I can sense them too. Sometimes I can feel their emotions radiating off of them. Like when I was watching a show in the living room. I could almost feel that they were laughing at it too." I was a little stuck. Sense me? "Or how when they get annoyed... Or when they're angry at me. I don't think they realize it but I can feel them." His eyes went to the doorway and matched perfectly with mine. He was staring at me like he knew I was there for sure, he had such confidence that I was. I was a little taken aback by that.

I felt like I was on fire.

And I don't think it was because of anger this time. But because his lingering gaze made me feel a certain way that was so familiar to me. Like I had felt it before.

"Give them cuddles for me, Patches." I took in a shaky breath. He was being sweet to me, even after all of the things I had done.

I hated how he was making me feel right now. He had to go.

He just needed to look at his computer and I would never have to experience this terrifying feeling again. He would be gone.

I walked into his room and peered over his shoulder as he read.

George Davidson Found Dead On April 1, 2017

On March 31 of 2017, George Davidson was found dead in the bathtub of his home. At XXXX on 86th Street. After failing to respond to his neighbor's attempts to get ahold of him, the cops were called on the morning of the 31. Soon he was declared dead from a self-inflicted drug overdose. A letter that was found declared that the incident was intentional.

No Other information has been recovered.

With no one there to claim the house - as he left it in no one's name- the home will be left to the state.

On the 4, of April, a vigil has been set for the long-time friend. Please join us to remember a man known from childhood.

A boy killing himself in your new home had to make a person want to leave.

I looked down at Clay, and to my surprise, he was crying. Immediately, my heart began to ache for him. I moved closer to him, wanting to make him stop. Watching as tears fell from the blond boy's eyes made me feel terrible. Why did he care? Why did I care enough to want to make him stop crying?

"Clay, please don't cry. I- Really it's not a big deal." I wondered if he could even hear me. Shocked, he turned around in his chair. His eyes widening as he drank me in.

"Not a big deal? Not a big deal? "With no one there to claim the house - as he left it in no one's name- the home will be left to the state." George, you were alone."

So, he could see me. "I'm sorry. I didn't think this was going to make you upset. Please don't cry. Please." I nearly choked on my words. Why was he making me feel like this? Why was his voice making me do the exact opposite of what I want? He was destroying my house! Why was his voice so comforting?

"Why did you do it?" He asked out of the blue. I was a little taken aback, still, I was only just now getting used to the fact that he was able to see me. His eyes sent fire throughout my body.

I shrugged, "I don't remember much about my life, honestly. Especially memories. The only thing I can remember is how I felt. Everything about my life is fuzzy, everything but my death." I sat down on the floor. Clay wiped the tears in his eyes and focused on my words.

"I remember how much I loved my house. How my grandmother made me feel when she lived here too. How the bay window had been a comfort of mine and still is. As well as how much I felt alone when I died." I fiddled with my fingers. My nails were forever short and stubby from my constant biting.

"What do you remember about the bay window?" He asked curiously. He was talking to me like it was nothing, not like I was dead.

"I had online friends, I remember that much. I know that I never left that bay window. The few memories I do have, are of them." I sighed, almost content. "Discord was my only outlet."

"Online friends are scary, especially when they go missing. I know from experience." he averted my gaze.

"Technically I was the one who went missing in this case. I was always so worried that my friends would disappear on me. I remember that feeling, but this time, I turned my back on them."

"Do you remember anything about them?" He asked.

I shook my head, "No. Sometimes I have flashes. But it's only about them. Sometimes I beg for them to be about someone else. But I guess they were the only people I abandoned, it's punishment. I hear their voice and sometimes conversations we had will come to light. It hurts, but I deserve it."

"I don't think it's punishment. I think that you are guilty. You weren't alone, you left someone behind and you feel guilty about it." He gave me a soft smile. His words and his tone were so nice to hear. Like I had heard them before and had been deprived of it.

"Thanks. I wish I could say goodbye to them. I wish I could remember their names."

"Maybe you will soon. Maybe." We were silent again for a moment but then Clay spoke up. "I had an online friend." I perked up.

"What was his name?"

A grin spread across his face. "It was so stupid, a horrible IGN - 404 - Like the page not found screen." Something about the way he said that name made me have butterflies. I had never felt like this while being in the afterlife. I was dead, how was he making me feel this way? "But he disappeared. He left me. And I was heartbroken. But it was my fault."

"I'm so sorry, Clay." I smiled at him, and he caught it. He smiled right back. "I'm sorry for how I've been treating you. I just... When you destroyed the bay window it really made me hate you. to me, you crossed a line. I went full poltergeist."

Clay shrugged, "Eh, not completely." I grinned.

"It's just hard. Having someone in your room, and your house and have no clue that you're still tied to it."

Clay began to reach out like he was going to hug me but pulled back with realization. He settled on the words: "Roommates can be hard." He shrugged, smiling like it was completely normal.

"Right of course," I wasn't your typical roommate. I was dead.

March 29, 2021

I promised him that I wouldn't annoy him anymore as long as he promised that he wouldn't destroy my home any further. It was a deal. If he was going to be respectful, I was going to be too. He also promised that he would replace the bay window. (Which apparently was already a part of the plan.) But this time it was going to be for me. That had made my heart flutter when he said that.

Since then, we had been spending a lot of time together. I would sit and talk with him while he worked and during dinner and lunch. Honestly, I knew all his moods from the past 24 hours. It was like I had known him ages. It was concerning that I was getting close to him, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave him alone.

He was like a drug.

The way he makes you feel can be exhilarating but is so, so addicting. Enough to ruin you no matter how hard you work against it.

The feeling felt so natural to me. And I think he thought the same.

Something about him just made it so easy to talk. And to be honest, it felt good to talk. It felt wonderful to finally have company, especially now that I learned that he wasn't there to screw up my house. I had been alone so long, I didn't even remember what it had felt like to have company before.

I wonder if it was this amazing.

But I was still scared. I was signing myself up for being friends with a boy who was alive. How could this end well? We would just both end up getting hurt. I still had a small part of me that wanted to drive him out but like I said before, that was a terrifying thought. I don't think I could leave him if I tried.

Clay interrupted my thoughts. "George!" He yelled. I smiled, still sitting in the kitchen. He told me not to come into the living room today, so I listened.

"Yes?"

"Come here!" He yelled. I walked out into the living room. "I finished." I had wondered what he was doing in here.

When I walked into the room I was expecting shelves or a table. Not this.

The bay window was back and better than ever. Deep blue cushions with baby blue curtains that were just barely masking the rain outside. Tall shelves filled to the brim with worn spines. Fairy lights hung at the bottom, giving off a soft, warm, honey-like glow.

I stared at him. "Clay. You- For me?" I asked. Clay nodded.

And this was the first time.

The first time I had ever regretted taking those pills.

Sure I felt guilty but this was the first real-time I had ever had a second thought about it. But now, I wanted to be able to hold him and hug him.

Right now, he was the concrete reason that I had ever regretted killing myself.

March 30, 2021

"Morning, Clay." He nodded back at me in acknowledgment. His eyes were droopy and he held a cup of coffee in off-hand. We sat in silence for a moment a book resting in front of me as I rested in the bay window.

"Question," He said randomly. I looked over at him.

"Of course." Clay hesitated for a moment. "You can do things like touching my PC and knocking things over but you can't hold a book?" I glanced down at how it was resting in front of my legs.

"Well, being a ghost and all, it takes a lot of energy for me to hide myself and touch things for long periods. Quick sweeps of objects or a moment of flipping a page is a lot less exhausting than holding a book for the entire time." I shrugged. "It just takes a lot of energy to do simple things like that."

Clay sat up, walked over to me, and took the book from in front of me. "I'll just read it to you then,"

"You don't have to."

"I want to." It was another rainy day today which meant it was the perfect time to read. I didn't object anymore as he began reading.

His voice was more formal than it was when he was speaking to me. But it was still sweet like any other time before. I let my eyes drift shut as I listened to the voice like it was scripture. I would praise his voice if I could. Make an entire religion based on it. It was that beautiful.

I was content there. Listening to him read me a story on a rainy Florida morning was better than winning the lottery.

Clay stopped for a moment. I opened my eyes to see what happened. "Why are you letting me see you now?"

I took a breath, "Because being vulnerable can be a good thing sometimes."

"Why didn't you let me before?"

"Because I thought I hated you. I was scared to be vulnerable with you. Turns out, I think I was just being ignorant. I wanted to hate you."

"And you don't anymore?" I looked over at him.

"No."

"Why?" He wanted me to talk about why I liked him. Cute.

"Because I like the way you make me feel. I like being open with you. It was scary but it felt so good to show myself to you. To be me. It felt good to be vulnerable. Which ruins me, you ruin all my senses." This felt all so familiar.

Clay was smiling and I couldn't stop the words that fell out of my mouth next. "Clay, you are intoxicatingly and addictingly destructive." Clay's smile withered.

I was at a high and now it was time for me to crash back down.

For me to go back to rock bottom like always.

"Where did you hear that?" His voice was rising. I was confused. Had I gone too far?

"What?"

"Where did you hear that? Intoxicatingly and addictingly destructive?"

"Nowhere, it's how I feel. What did I do?" Clay shot up angrily when I attempted to reach for him.

"You-You were on my computer. You had access to my discord, didn't you? You were snooping!"

"Clay I swear I wouldn't!" He wasn't listening to my pleads to get him to try to understand.

"You can't remember your own life so you had to rummage through mine!" That one hurt.

He was pissed. Red-faced and loud. He was really, really pissed. What was wrong with what I said? Had he heard it before from somewhere? Did he think I just copied the words to make me look good?

"Clay! I have no reason to do that!" I reached for his hand again. And for a moment I could feel him. Not once had I ever felt someone or something. I could touch them, but feeling them was impossible for me.

His fingertips sent ripples through my body. He jerked away from me, eyes narrowing. Hate swimming in his vibrant eyes while he looked at me.

He was looking at me like that.

Like he hated me and with disgust.

"Why am I even wasting my time with you. You're dead." He spat.

He was right.

I should have just gotten him out of here. I should have continued my plan. Then I wouldn't have to see him hurting like this.

I watched as he stomped up the stairs. And for the first time since I had been dead, I did something I never thought I could do.

I cried.

March 31, 2021

I didn't know where else to go. So I went to the one place that I had avoided for the past four years. The attic.

If I were to stay downstairs I would have run into him and I was too emotionally exhausted to try and hide so I just stayed up here.

My entire history was in here. And I was scared to face it. I had barely remembered anything from my life. What if I found something that I didn't like?

But for the past 12 hours, it has been fine. I had avoided looking at the boxes labeled 'George' that the kind old woman had packed neatly and set up here with her husband.

Everything was up here.

I glanced over a small shoebox. It was labeled but I had to scoot closer to see.

Journals

I had journals.

I wanted to know about my past. Even if it left me disappointed. I had to try and learn my friend's name. Maybe something just a sliver of him left.

I didn't want to do this before. But I was here. What was the point of hiding from my past anymore

I opened one of them. Flipping to a random page and began reading. As usual, I set the book before me.

Dear Journal,

I met a new friend today while playing Minecraft. He was nice. We started a world together. I can't wait to play again.

Dear Journal,

I talked with him again. He's nice. Turns out he likes to stream too! We're thinking of featuring each other in a stream or two.

Dear Journal,

He's been so sweet and patient with me. He's a really kind person. He makes me laugh when nothing else can.

Dear Journal,

Dream. He told me to call him Dream. How funny. Almost symbolic, he's like a dream to me. Too perfect to catch, too amazing to be real.

Dear Journal,

His voice makes me weak. I don't think I can go back now, I'm too far gone. I wonder what Dream's real name is. I wonder if he's curious about mine too.

Dear Diary,

I think I am going to tell him how I feel. I hope he understands, Sapnap says he will.

Dear Diary,

I sent him a message telling him how I feel. Even after five days, he hasn't responded. I've ruined it. I've destroyed our friendship. I should have known that he wouldn't like me. Who would? I'm better alone. I deserve to be alone. Why would he want me as a friend or a partner? No one wants or needs me. The one person who cared about me, I drove away. What's the point now? He was the only reason I had left.

-George, April 1, 2017

At the end of the book was my discord log-in. I must have kept it there for safekeeping.

I was crying when I heard Clay "George?" I looked over at him. Was he still angry. "are you okay? Are you crying?"

I looked down at the book and watched as droplets of water fell from my face. Dream and Clay. The only people who could make a ghost cry.

"I'm fine." I sniffled. "I- found somethings from my past. That friend I learned his name and memories. Actual memories came back to me." I was grinning. Clay still had clouded eyes but he forced a smile.

"I'm happy for you."

"Clay, I know that you're angry, but please can I message them on your PC." He hesitated with his answer.

"Fine. Yeah, you can."

"Thank you, Clay."

I eagerly stood in front of Clay's computer. Waiting for him to log out so I could log in. I put in my password and email and checked it.

So, so, so many notifications. My heart sunk.

I went to Sapnap's first.

Me: Sapnap, hey. It's been a while. But I want you to know that I love you, and you and Dream were my best friends. I love you all so much. I know I disappeared, but I'm coming back to say goodbye. I thought you deserved one. Take care of Dream.

Surprisingly, his reply was instant.

Sap: WHAT THE HELL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN DUDE! What do you mean goodbye. Don't pull that shit. Don't say goodbye, why do you have to leave?

Me: I just do. It's time for me to be done with this. Good luck with the channel man.

Sap: I'm afraid I don't understand but I guess I don't have to. I love you too man. Good luck with life.

Next was Dream. Whew. I could do this.

So many misread messages from him.

Dream: Hey respond okay?

Dream: please.

Dream: Are you hurt? Are you okay

Dream: Please come back. I have to tell you I love you. You cant leave me.

Dream: Please. Don't.

Those were all from 2017. I saw a recent one from this week at the bottom. My heart sank.

Dream: I've been thinking about you. I know that you're probably gone or ignoring me but I love you. I do. I just needed to tell you again. I found someone, a friend, who reminds me of you. It just reminds me of how much I'm in love with you. I always will be. But I think I'm falling for him too. I feel torn.

Me: I need to tell you this, Dream. I want to tell you goodbye. I didn't do it before, so selfishly I'm doing it now. You were my world, you were my everything for so long. You were my rock and you kept me sane. I don't know how to say this, but I've met someone that reminds me of you as well. The way they make me feel and smile. But just like this friendship, I've ruined that one as well. I love you Dream. You were my reason that I had lasted here so long. I think I might be able to move on now that I got to say goodbye to you.

Dream: Please don't. Please don't go when you've only just come back.

Me: Dream. I can't. I really cant. I love you.

Dream: Can you just talk to me. Just for a moment?

I didn't know if I had a moment. I looked back a Clay. He was preoccupied. I could chat.

Me: Okay. Just for a moment.

Dream: Do you remember what you told me? When you told me you liked me? Where did you get that from?

Me: I don't follow.

Dream: You told me something that stuck with me. And now someone else said it and I got angry.

Dream: Intoxicatingly and Addictingly Destructive.

I froze.

His voice makes me weak.

He ruins me.

It all feels so familiar.

I looked down at my screen name.

"404, like the page not found screen."

Me: What is your name, Dream? You're real name?

Dream: ...

Dream: Clay. My name is Clay.

Dream: Yours?

I hesitated.

Me: George. George Davidson.

Suddenly I heard a cry. I whipped around and faced Dream Or Clay. Or whatever. He locked eyes with me.

"404."

"Dream."

Why did it feel like my heart was racing?

I looked down at my hand. It was no longer the opaque nearly see-through luminescent body I had before. I had my skin and my bones.

But I knew it was only for a moment. I could feel it.

It was so I could say goodbye. For real. Not through a screen.

Dream ran up to me and pulled me in. "No, no, no... George..." He was whining. He knew too, he knew this moment was limited. "You did this? How could someone so perfect do this to themselves?" I buried my head into him. He was so warm.

"Because I thought the person I adored hated me..." He pulled back to look into my eyes.

"never. I love you, George. I love you and your laugh and how we would flirt constantly." He was crying now. And so was I.

"I think I understand now..." He looked at me puzzled.

"What?"

"Why I'm here. It was because I was guilty. I needed to say goodbye to you. I did, in person and on the screen. It's my time to go now."

"No, George. No."

"I understand why you were angry too. I'm sorry I made you think of that."

"Don't apologize, I should be apologizing-" I cupped his face and cut him off by connecting my lips with his. His skin was warm and fingertips set me on fire. I tangled my fingers through his hair.

This was my reward from all of this. Five minutes with him. Five minutes to say goodbye for good.

"I have to go," I said pulling away. My voice rough and patchy.

"No."

"Dream, promise me this okay? I know you love me, and you know that I love you. But don't hold back. I want you to be happy. And I want you to smile. I don't want you to feel guilty because of me. I did this, this is my fault. If anything you should be angry at me. I'm the reason we aren't together."

"Don't do that. Don't say that. I messed up too. I had my part in this." I kissed his cheek tenderly. "I can't handle losing you again."

"You're strong. You'll be okay." I was happy and sad and angry all at once. I could remember everything about my life. Everything. All the good and even all the bad. I never wanted to forget it again. I never wanted to forget Dream. "I just want you happy."

"Clay," He looked at me. Eyes filled with tears. "I love you. All of you. Dream, clay, You." He smiled and melted into my hand.

"I love you too." His voice faded with me as I drifted away from him. And just before I disappeared for good, I saw that the clock struck 12:00 am.

It was officially April 1, 2021