[I barely see anything for Dietfried and Hodgins and actually they have a very interesting relationship….]

Letter 1: To The One I Destest

The weather was cold, much like his gaze as he stared at the open sea. His mind was numb, his mind silent except for one single thought: Gilbert.

It had been many years since the war ended. Perhaps only a few in hindsight but for a soldier, the years felt much longer. Somehow, while he had been content-no resigned- to accept that his brother had died M.I.A. in the previous war, his little brother's best friend had gotten a lead through the little post office he ran; the irony here was quite simply that Dietfried Bougainvillea didn't see much worth in leaving a highly stable military office position for a desk job at some little mail service and yet that little post office had found the only lead to his brother while his own military connections had failed.

Most young men after the war sought out positions in the military because they offered status, stability, and a chance to prove their noble dedication to one's country. It was unthinkable for a young man to pick some low-level job over such a high status. But that's exactly what Claudia Hodgins, Gilbert Bougainvillea's best friend had chosen to do when the war had ended four years ago. He didn't see a point in holding a military office-or rather he had never had interest in pursuing a military career. Dietfried at the time had thought it was pretentious and foolish to pass up a comfortable position like the one that someone as lazy as Claudia Hodgins had been given. His family was upper-class after all and it was not heard of for one to reject the silver spoon offered.

Regardless, it was this man, President of the CH Postal Company, whose small yet well known business had been able to generate a lead after all this time. It left a bitter taste in Dietfried's mouth. He still remembered his conversation with president Hodgins in his Naval Commander Office. Hodgins had brought him a letter written clearly-though left handed- in his little brother's writing. There was no mistaking the definite connection. That scrawl had to be his brother's.

Dietfried felt a mixture of emotions. Yet, his military training still allowed him the excuse of bottling them up and hiding them far away within himself. What would he say when he saw his little brother again? Would his little brother even want to see him? If Gilbert had been alive all this time, why hadn't he contacted them? Or their mother? Avoiding their father -had he been alive- was something Dietfried could never blame Gilbert for, after all, it had been Gilbert who had insisted he would take on the family name so that Dietfried could find his own freedom and happiness. Because their father was a cold excuse for a human being.

Oh how the tables have turned. And yet, Dietfried was unhappy. In the end, he hadn't been able to find true freedom. Even now, he was just a dog of the military, although he had revolutionized the Navy's influence in the war efforts and that was an accomplishment he could truly call his own and was not handed down on a silver spoon by his father.

Dietfried knew it was borderline childish, but he felt resentful towards Gilbert. Gilbert left their mother on her deathbed, and hadn't even bothered to attend her funeral. If he was dead-well at least Dietfried could accept that as an excuse.

But if he was alive?

Dietfried felt a gnawing bitterness eating him from the inside. Shouldn't one who had been separated from their kin for so long-assumed dead in action- be feeling hope? Dietfried's mind flashed to the one who had connected all of them in the end to each other- Violet Evergarden.

She had been a weapon of war. A mere tool that he had picked up when she was a child herself. She had killed many of his men, and as a result, he decided to use her to get revenge on the enemy. But his little brother had seen her as more than a tool, and had given her a chance to be more than a tool. More than the tool Dietfried tried hard to put her down as.

But he couldn't anymore.

He'd seen how she had been in recent years. From the incident on the train, to even recently when he invited her to their family boat to pick up some relics from their childhood. He saw something he never thought would have been possible in the eyes of a monster. He saw a person capable of love-and of loving his brother with their entire being.

And that scared Dietfried.

He was a soldier himself, but he was one with morals, decorum, whatever was needed to pass as a suitable contributor to society. But that girl, she too had touched people's hearts through that man, Hodgins' automemory doll service offered at his post office. Her words were beautiful and they touched even someone like Deitfried deep down in parts of his mind that he thought no one would be able to reach anymore.

Somehow, time really was a cruel mistress. In a bittersweet way, no one had stayed the same despite being trapped in the past for so long. Not even Dietfried had been able to avoid being different from how he used to be. He had sworn he'd never forgive her for the deaths of his men, and a part of him still couldn't even now. Because without Gilbert, and without Hodgins, Violet wouldn't have changed. But it isn't about what didn't happen-the truth is, Violet did meet Hodgins. She did meet Gilbert. She changed because of their kindness. Both of those men were enigmas that he couldn't figure out. They really were like two peas in a pod. It frustrated Dietfried. He just didn't know why.

Why did that damn Hodgins feel like he'd been a better brother role model for Gilbert than Dietfried, himself? That certainly left a bitter taste in his mouth. That man who didn't know what true sacrifice even was. Ugh. What a cumbersome fellow.

Now, he stared at a glass on the table of his room onboard the ship, at the cool amber contents that swished with the movement of the boat, rocked gently by the waves outside. His green eyes flickered, feeling dull and numb. He didn't know what to feel. What was the right thing to feel at a time like this?

He held his head in his hands. He recalled his conversation with Violet again. How she looked like a child-truly happy- whenever she got something related to Gilbert in her hands. Her hands that were artificial, for her real ones had been blown up during the battle all those years ago. The war took her arms, took her major, and her sense of purpose, but somehow, she'd found a new one. Dietfried grit his teeth. He was trying to be understanding, but he was also haunted by the faces of his men that had trusted him to keep them safe.

He still remembered the day she killed them all. It didn't matter the side, at the time, she was merely a killing machine. But now, she wasn't. He recalled that one moment when she had stated that she no longer took orders and did things because she wanted to-because she was free.

Though her military training was indeed forever engraved in her autonomy, the major would forever be, seared in her heart.

Dietfried didn't realize his eyes were wet until he felt something warm sliding down his cheeks.

Huh?

That's unusual. He wasn't a man to cry. He wiped his eyes quickly, just then hearing a knock on the door of his room. "Who is it?" He asked sharply, out of habit more than anything. He didn't mean to come off as hostile, but over the years it had become his armor. Both as his sword, and his shield.

"It's me, Hodgins," an awkward voice replied on the other side of the metal door.

Dietfried blinked with surprise. Hodgins didn't have a great opinion of Dietfried and Dietfried was well aware of this. While he was trying to be better about his sarcastic exchanges with Hodgins, he knew he still needed to work a bit on his manners. He thought this would be a good opportunity to practice his resolve to try to show that he had changed. He knew how protective Hodgins was of Violet, and in a way, he wondered if he resented that level of care and protectiveness that he gave Violet.

What if Hodgins had been the one by Gilbert's side the eve of that terrible tragic night. If it had been Hodgins, not Violet, by Gilbert's side that fateful day...would things have turned out differently?

No, there was no point in speculation now. The past was in the past and Dietfried wanted it there to stay. There was enough hurt in all of their memories as it were. If Hodgins was correct and Dietfried's brother really was on this island, would that mean that they all could finally start moving forwards in time again? All of them.

Even himself?

"Come in," he said, trying not to sound too sharp. His voice was rough around the edges but he was going to try to be civil. He owed it to Gilbert. He owed it to Hodgins for finding his brother. Even if the thought of owing Hodgins left a funny taste in his mouth, he would deal with it.

Hodgins entered the room, and shut the door. "We're uh, almost to the island...we arrive tomorrow," he said, conversationally. His sky-blue eyes gazed at Dietfried and Dietfried realized this was Hodgins' quiet way of trying to put their past arguments behind themselves. He also came here to try to make up for their past fighting.

Dietfried let out a small noise, like a grunt or a sigh, maybe both, and he nodded, gesturing to the untouched glass of alcohol sitting on his table. "I was about to have a drink, would you care for one?" he asked, politely.

Hodgins blinked. "I probably shouldn't…" he said, thoughtfully.

Dietfried quirked a brow. "You don't drink?" he asked, sounding dead-pan. He honestly pegged Hodgins for a drinker-no offense.

Hodgins blinked and then scratched his head, sheepish. "Oh, no, I mean, I could," he said, meekly. "It's more like… I'm trying to be healthier...as of late," he trailed off.

"Why?" Dietfried asked dumbly.

"I want to have kids someday," was the sheepish reply. Dietfried pursed his lips. For some reason that made him want to laugh but he didn't want to appear like he was laughing at Hodgins' innocent admittal.

"Ah, well you picked your poison, I'll drink mine," Dietfried replied like a teasing smart-ass. He flinched though, worried that Hodgins would take it the wrong way. He was about to explain he wasn't trying to be rude but Hodgins actually chuckled, smiling at Dietfried in a way Dietfried hadn't actually seen before. Normally wearing a troubled expression, Dietfried suddenly felt like his sense of gravity was upside down. His frown almost joined it. Almost.

The sweet expression on Hodgin's face definitely caught the fully grown man, off guard, for sure.

"More of your dry humor, I see," Hodgins said, making his own teasing quip, still leaning against the wall, arms crossed.

"Well, if you're not here for a drink, what are you here for? I appreciate the information if that's all you came to tell me," Dietfried replied awkwardly, hoping to come off as aloof and not flustered. Wait, why would he be flustered? Poise was his middle name! Frustrated with this odd sense of giddiness blooming in his chest, he picked up the glass finally. He wondered why his cheeks were already so warm-he hadn't taken a sip yet.

"I just...I don't actually know," Hodgins replied, guilty. He scratched his head, his red locks loosely tussled, and Dietfried's eyes traveled to that slender jawline. "Just thought, 'hey, big day tomorrow...maybe I should check on him'...or something," he replied. Hodgins did have a tendency to be a Mother Hen, that was for certain. As he spoke, Dietfried's eyes wandered to how Hodgins' stubble was sticking out and Dietfried honestly wanted to nag him about it. In his mind, he thought, 'either grow it out properly or shave it off instead of looking like a half-hairy man-boy'- but instead, he bit back that comment on his tongue by quickly taking a swig of his alcohol. The burn down his throat made his tongue tingle. Something else was tingling too but he chose to ignore that.

Damn, alcohol was one of the few things Dietfried could actually honestly say he enjoyed. It was like good company to him. A lot of the time, it felt like it was his only company. It happened to warm him in a way another person was unable to.

"You are a strange man," Dietfried remarked, offhandedly, sighing, setting his drink down. Hodgins just kept smiling awkwardly though he turned to open the door again.

"My apologies for disturbing you," he said but Dietfried held up a hand.

"I'm sorry if my comment was off-putting," Dietfried quickly said, exasperated at his instinct to say the first thing that came to his mind. "You don't have to leave this second...if you don't want to."

"Ah, I should probably check on Violet," Hodgins said, smiling.

"What need is there to do that?" Dietfried found himself asking out of frustration. Dammit, why did he sound like a bratty little kid all of a sudden?

"This visit affects her the most," Hodgins said, tone switching to serious and protective in an instant.

Dietfried flinched. Of course it affected her. It affected him as well! "And this doesn't affect me just as much?" he bitterly snapped back. Gilbert was his brother, after all! Though it seemed that Hodgins was circumventing that little bit of detail making everything about Violet-again. Dietfried glared at Hodgins, and he just couldn't help himself, picking a fight with this easily provoked papa-bear redhead wanna-be just felt like a better waste of his time than being alone right now.

Jesus, no wonder Dietfried couldn't hold down a proper relationship. Dietfried scowled, but mostly at himself, inwardly.

Hodgins huffed, assuming the scowl was meant for him and he opened the door. "I don't want to fight with you," he said curtly and he would have left but Dietfried stood up now, cutting him off.

"-I'm not done speaking with you," he said, coldly.

Hodgins grimaced. He had honestly wanted to just check and see how the older Bougainvillea was doing, but now in retrospect he felt more like he walked into a room full of ticking land-mines and there was nowhere to step that wouldn't trigger something from this emotionally backwards Naval Commander. "What else is there to say?" he asked with forced politeness.

"Your interest in that girl...is it merely because of your loyalty to Gilbert or do you too, perhaps harbor some feelings for her?" Dietfried found himself asking, bitingly. Hodgins was so damn clingy when it came to that girl. It frustrated Dietfried. She could take care of herself and she certainly didn't need grown men-like his brother or even this oddball postal president- fawning over her like she was some dainty princess type! Dietfried could feel the alcohol rolling through his veins, making his blood pump with a renewed false confidence in what he was saying and thinking. "I suppose if my brother is dead then you could warm her bed instead. Actually, that would explain-"

He couldn't even finish that sentence before he felt a fist connect with his face. Hodgins punched him straight up in the left side of the jaw and Dietfried found himself toppling sideways to the ground-somehow the couch had disappeared? Landing harshly on his side, he felt his teeth rattle from the force of his body hitting the floor like a sandbag. He groaned, his face stinging. Instinctively he put a hand to his cheek, and struggled to his knees, on alert himself. Glaring at Hodgins, the two men held a standoff pose.

Hodgins' normal blue eyes looked positively ablaze and icy. How peculiar. Dietfried was taunting him to make himself feel better-but he didn't actually feel any better. Somehow, angering Hodgins made Dietfried feel worse. Dammit, he could make friends if he didn't care about the consequences, but with Hodgins he seemed to actually care about the consequences. Before Dietfried could quite compute what happened next, he found himself on the floor again, pinned under Hodgins in a military combat pose, Hodgins with an elbow against Dietfried's throat, his other hand pulled back once more into a shaking fist. "Don't you ever. Insinuate. That." Hodgins breathed hard, barely able to articulate past all the red he was seeing.

Dietfried knew the timing was terrible but felt some sort of sick satisfaction at getting Hodgins this riled up. It meant that he wasn't focused on Violet. Fucking finally. He found that although Hodgins looked harmless, the man could fight well if provoked. On the battlefield, perhaps he wouldn't be so useless as Dietfried dismissed him off as presumptuously before. Rank was easier obtained with family status-that was the harsh reality with any military position and Hodgins family did own a business that put them on the social board. However, Dietfried still couldn't understand why a man who could be living comfortably had chosen to become a mere small postal service president. The wage certainly wasn't much to line one's pockets with and Dietfried knew from some snooping that Hodgins was struggling to keep the postal office itself going.

His cold moss-green eyes traveled to meet angry sky-blue, and Dietfried suddenly felt something racing in his chest. Was that his heart? How strange. Hodgins was the one who was riled up and yet Dietfried felt like he was the only one who actually felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest for some inexplicable reason. No, it was the effects of the alcohol. Dietfried seemed to like things that just weren't good for his health. Tempting fate so to speak—or perhaps karma.

"Are you going to hit me?" Dietfried found himself cheekily asking, smiling up at the angry red-head.

"Tch." To Dietfried's surprise, despite the tension that not even a knife could slice through at the moment, Hodgins let him go, though he was trembling still from the resolve to not give Dietfried a black eye or two.

Dietfried would have spoken up again-to say what exactly? Even he didn't know what would come out of his mouth next. It felt like anytime he felt like he could mend a bridge with Hodgins he was there, himself -ironically-with the hammer meant to continue to break it, not fix it.

Knock.

Knock.

Two quick, curt knocks. Delicate despite their loud ringing affirmation announcing the arrival of another person. Dietfried let out the breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding. "Who is it, now?" Dietfried found himself asking, a little annoyed at being interrupted despite knowing full well that Hodgins was leaving anyway.

"It's Violet," the calm, collected, mature, mostly monotonous tone came from the other side of the door. No, monotonous no longer fit here. Dietfried's eyes flickered. This girl-this mere tool- every time he met her it felt like she was more and more...human. He sighed through his nose, not because he was irritated at her presence, but because he was irritated at himself for slowly but surely, truly starting to move on from the past between them. It wasn't a bad thing-in fact, a shrink would most likely say it was a good thing, but Dietfried didn't know what the "good" thing here was exactly. True, he was trying-For Gilbert's sake- to better understand this creature that loved his brother so, but forgive her?

Dietfried didn't want anyone to mistake his leniency for forgiveness.

Even now.

He didn't know if he'd ever be able to forgive her for the horrible massacre of his men that day. Hodgins looked at her like she was a precious -dare he say it-- doll that needed to be sheltered. It seemed like anyone who met Violet Evergarden saw her as someone... almost ethereal. The Ethereal Doll.

His lip curled, his eye twitching only ever so slightly. But it wasn't something that went unnoticed by Hodgins. "We're done here," Hodgins said curtly, and he opened the door to face Violet, who politely took a step back as Hodgins' broad frame filled the doorway.

Dietfried didn't comment.

"Is everything alright, sir?" Violet asked softly, looking up at Hodgins, with concern in her eyes of ocean blue.

"We were just having a contest of wills," Hodgins said, hoping to brush off the harsh exchange without divulging too deeply into its details.

Dietfried pursed his lips. He was pretty sure what Hodgins wanted to say was "dick contest" but he wasn't about to expound either. Not everything he did had to be exchanged with Violet Evergarden. Besides, this was between him and Hodgins. He knew it was childish, but he wanted any excuse it took to talk more with Hodgins. Maybe he really was just bored. Or maybe he valued Hodgins' opinion because Hodgins didn't care about his status as a Naval Commander and wasn't afraid to tell him to his face what he thought of him. The reasons could go on. Honestly, Hodgins was just a very strange man and Dietfried was trying to figure out what made him tick. That was all.

They were just two men on a ship having very mature adult conversation.

—end Chapter 1—

A/N: SPOILER RANT AHOY . DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FROM THE VIOLET EVERGARDEN MOVIE THOUGH THIS WHOLE FANFIC IS BASED ON THE MOVIE + Conjecture so LOL.

Okay so I just got finished watching EVERGARDEN VIOLET LE MOVIEEEH and let me just say-WHY DOESN'T HODGINS GET a wrapped up ending? Also, such sexual tension between him and the older BoOGOVIA whatever the fuk his name is-Gilly's older bro. JESUS. I know he's cut straight but I betcha that older brother sure as hell aint. He at least bi. A bi bitch. Anyways, Hodgins has such daddy vibes with Violet and while I originally sort of could see his feelings going a little romantic (They shared the major so you know, memories and bonding over heartbreak that sort of thing) I legit do see Hodgins as just an overprotective Daddy/big bro figure to Violet. I think Violet x Gilbert honestly just makes the most canonical sense no matter how you slice it. Glad they got their happy ending but WHAT ABOUT MY BOY HODGINS. JEESUS he's like the ODASAKU oF THIS UNIVERSE except he doesn't die (HE better fucking not in any future adaptation)LOL.

SO, I am going to write an INTERESTING fic, set sort of in the time period of post Violet x Gilbert running off to some frickin remote island yay? Where, Gilbert's bro and Hodgins -weirdly enough- start to get closer? I mean… yeah. I sort of headshipped Gilbert's bro and Violet loosely, VERY, just because they also shared the one thing in common: Le Major. However, that older bro definitely possesses serious … bi vibes. ANyways, that and his emotional journey was about accepting that Violet wasn't a tool, and was a person.

IN FACT the one thing I really couldn't wrap my mind around was the fact that he never once apologized to her about using her as a tool. He apologized for being an ass, but I think he would have shown his growth more if he had acknowledged to her (the one he weaponized) that he regretted that. Then I think he would have found proper closure, rather than the sort of implied apology? Idk.

I feel like they could have handled his arc slightly better but for the most part, I really enjoyed the bonding between him and Violet. It's clear he's come a long way as well in seeing her grow and seeing what his brother saw in her(hence the sort of romantic headcanon I was formulating if Gilbert was in fact deado) but he aint, so yeah. SO ANYWAYS, HODGINS WANTS TO BE A DADDY and Gilbert's older bro is SINGLE (lets face it) the irony of his statement to Gilbert would be hilarious: "I will carry on the family name/legacy" -Doesn't realize he's shoved into a closet of gay despair LOL. To be fair, he strikes me as rather dense when it comes to people. He acknowledges as much when he is very sarcastic/quippy with Hodgins.

UGH. WHAT DO I DO. I want GAY (THAT BIG BRO AINT STRAIGHT) maybe I'll just make an OC LOL cuz I kinda ship Hodgins and that dark haired chick and it's pretty damn obvious that she did at ONE point have the hots for dat nice juicy ass. ACTUALLY it'd be hilarious, if I did make an OC and the OC misinterpreted Hodgins mini-rant sessions about Gilbert's older brother being intolerable at times as kismesis- but yes.

I LIKE MY HODGINS DAZ (Haagan Daz pun on ice-cream).

ALSO I NEED DIETFRIED TO WRITE A LETTER-WITH HIS TRUE FEELINGS-TO HODGINS.