Chapter 18 "What ifs"
July 2021
Aurora
Amid a lengthy and tedious day, an icy shiver overtook my body while teaching summer school. It wasn't because the air conditioning worked that well in the old building. At the time, I disregarded the feeling and persisted in supervising students to make up their hours in credit recovery for their social studies class. Summer school ended in three days, and I would surprise Tuvok by taking him to Pensacola Beach, Florida, for a road trip at the end of the day. He had never been to the ocean, and apparently, Vulcan was hot and dry. The Texas heat did not seem to disturb my boyfriend, and I finally persuaded him to go swimming at my apartment complex's pool.
Dizziness occurred fifteen minutes later as I monitored the students working on their laptops, and I almost fell to the floor. Luckily, there was a table that I leaned onto to bolster myself.
"Miss, are you ok?" a concerned student asked with enormous blue eyes and a cowed expression.
Nodding, I cautiously stood up. My hands shook as I did so.
"Tuvok," I thought, preoccupied, concentrating on sending a message to him telepathically.
However, there was nothing.
I determinedly attempted to reach him. According to Tuvok, our deep love for each other generated this ability, which would strengthen our relationship. I felt a block when I reached out to him, and I could feel his presence when I sent simple messages to him when we were apart on two occasions.
A sense of urgency tugged at me after that class ended, so I picked up the classroom phone and called the number for the basic pay-by-the-minute cell phone I bought for Tuvok in case I needed to reach him. He didn't answer, and I began to cry. Something was wrong if Tuvok wasn't responding. I had expected to hear his deep unemotional voice say my name and quip that he had been busy completing a job around the apartment complex for management. I did not receive that comfort, though. Hanging up the phone, I began to weep. My mind began projecting numerous "what if" questions such as "what if Tuvok was sent back to the twenty-fourth century" and "what if I never see him again?" or "what if he couldn't take me with him?" Regrettably, I began sobbing uncontrollably.
Ten minutes later, my principal approved my request to leave early for the day.
After a long day teaching summer school, I came home to an empty apartment. It looked the same as I had left it without gently snoring in the bedroom from Tuvok. His comm sat on the table, my breakfast dishes were still sitting in the sink, and the TV was still on.
"Tuvok?" I called. When I searched the apartment, he wasn't there. Nor was Tuvok in the gym or a nearby park.
Consequently, I began to weep again. I had worried that Tuvok would go back to Voyager just as fast as he appeared, for Perhaps his people were able to reach him but couldn't allow me to return with him.
All night I cried almost hysterically and received little sleep. My sister is the only one I told about Tuvok, but I never revealed that he was an alien, and I did mention the emphatic love that we felt for each other. She convinced me to book a flight to Pensacola on Spirit Airlines in two days instead of driving out there. However, my attempts to conceal my misery were fruitless.
I felt like my heart would break and that I was spiraling into a dark depression.