(I See London…)
I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited or followed this story since I published it.
SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yeah, DJ is definitely one of my favorites, and by far one of the most underrated characters in the series, and I wanted to give him at least some of the love he deserves. I haven't really decided if he's going to win the whole thing just yet, but he's gonna go pretty far at least.
TotalPizza: Don't worry about Ezekiel, that will be taken care of. I can't say that he'll be getting that sort of character development, but I will say that him being feral isn't going to happen in this fic. As for Duncan, you'll just have to wait and see.
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In typical Total Drama fashion, Chris started off the episode with a recap in the cockpit "Last time on Total Drama World Tour: We had some mechanical difficulties and ended up in some hot water Jamaica-style. No problem man, except for Izzy, whose squished brain was a major problem that led to our first elimination by injury. I'm surprised it hasn't happened before this point. Stranded and short on gas money, we were forced to improvise, and DJ was forced to admit that he was a big old loser, or he would've been if it wasn't for me bringing out a brilliant switcheroo on my part. Team Victory is done, but since the team named after my majestic good looks was down a man, DJ got another chance in his bid for the million. Also, thanks to one heck of a rocking telethon that raised a tank load of cash from our viewers, thanks a ton for that by the way, we're ready to get back in the air. I will miss Jamaica though, but the vacation is over. Now the time has come for some more Total! Drama! World Tour!"
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The night was dark and eerily calm as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet continued its way to its next destination.
Heather was quick to voice her obvious complaints "Why are we in loser class again? We won, or at least we didn't lose last time."
"We came in second place." Gwen pointed out "And Chris said he needed First Class so he could set up for something interesting."
"Which means painful."
"Actually, exciting means painful." Courtney told her dryly "Apparently interesting is supposed to mean life threatening."
"And what he needs he takes, from all of us. I shouldn't be surprised. And apparently he gives advantages to other teams just to spite us."
"Don't be like that senorita, you heard what Chris said." Alejandro tried to call her off with a condescending smirk spreading across his face "He moved DJ to our team because Izzy had to be disqualified due to her head injuries."
"Whatever." Heather let out a scoff and turned away.
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(Confessional)
"Believe me, I was genuinely as shocked as Heather was." Alejandro breathed a sigh "But it was nothing I wasn't able to work with. At least I was able to regain DJ's trust without too much of a problem. The most important thing is, if you wish to maximize your success in a competition like this, you have to be flexible and willing to adapt to changing situations. Now DJ's confidence in both him and myself are greater than ever, which is as tragic and delicious as ever."
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In the economy class…
"Speaking of head injuries…" Courtney glanced over to where Sierra was in the corner typing away at her pizza box laptop, while Cody himself was brooding in the opposite corner "I'm noticing a very distinct lack of crazy in the air right now, and geek for that matter."
"He's not that bad once you get to know him." Gwen told her, earning a few raised eyebrows that she promptly ignored "What? He did help set me and Trent up back at Wawanakwa, even if that didn't end well. He hasn't really been annoying since the season started, but he's been like that since we left Jamaica. No idea why." she looked down at the red spot on her hand and cringed from the pain "Now if only I knew how the hell I got this."
"Yeah, it's a real mystery…" DJ shared a look with Tyler, and both cringed slightly at the thought of it.
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(Flashback- While they were still stranded in Jamaica)
"Okay, there she is." Cody and Tyler were lurking around the pool deck, where they had quickly found Gwen in a bikini, sleeping in a lounge chair covered by an umbrella "Okay go ahead and get the picture, and make sure you get the bikini in the shot."
"You got it bro." Tyler gave him a thumbs up as he held up the camera "Go ahead and get in the shot."
"Right." so Cody slipped under the umbrella and got close to Gwen while she was still asleep, but just as Tyler was about to take the picture…
"What are you guys doing?"
Cody froze, and then he looked up to see DJ looming over him "Um… Nothing really, just a quick impromptu photo op. Nothing harmful or anything like that."
"Yeah, not harmful but still…" DJ breathed a sigh as he gripped Cody by the shoulder and gently led him away, neither of them noticing the umbrella being knocked back slightly and leaving one of Gwen's hands exposed in the sun "Not a good idea."
"That bad?"
"It's not as bad as some of the other stuff I've seen on this show, but still bad enough to know I have to do something. You see, dating is like feeding a bunny. You want the bunny to come to you, so you don't make any sudden moves or do anything that might scare it off. You try and sneak a pic with a girl while she's asleep or keep her bra or something, and the bunny is gonna up and run man. You feeling me?"
"So… you're saying that I've been screwing up this whole time right?"
"More or less. I'm not saying this to be a jerk or anything, I just wanna help. You remind me a lot of when Geoff tried to get Bridgette to get into him back at Wawanakwa. Once he got calm and relaxed around her, I guess it sort of drew her in. My point is, you don't need to be a tough guy like Duncan to get the girl. You just gotta be yourself."
"Yeah, but…" Cody breathed a sad sigh "I get what you're saying man, but being myself hasn't exactly worked out for me in the past."
"Well, no time like the present to give it another shot right?" DJ gave Cody another encouraging smile, and then he went on his way.
"He's not wrong bro." this was when Tyler spoke up as he handed the camera to Cody "You just gotta be yourself around the girl you like. I was myself when I met Lindsay back at camp, and look how we turned out."
"You mean tied up in your yo-yo and making out in the bathroom?"
"Yep. One of the best days of my life."
(End of flashback)
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(Confessional)
"I had to give the little guy some advice." DJ gave a shrug "I remember when Geoff was trying to win over Bridgette, and I couldn't just sit back and do nothing. Besides, I think they'd look kind of cute together. Knowing Geoff, he's probably gonna start a pool on the two of them back at the Aftermath. Put me down for $10."
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Now back to the two teams…
"Here, this should help you." Courtney set down a bucket in front of Gwen full of a strange white substance "Just soak your hand in this for a few minutes."
"What is it exactly?" asked Gwen as she stuck her hand in it.
"Something that will help to cool the burn, it's a special mix of green tea and bird guano."
"I've gotta admit, it does feel- Wait a second, isn't guano-"
"A way of sugarcoating poop? Yep, you'd better believe it." Heather gave a smirk, which almost immediately prompted Gwen to yank her hand out and yelp in pain, and then reluctantly stick it back in.
"Seriously, sticking my hand in a bucket of bird poop?"
"Poop that's full of healing ingredients." Courtney pointed out "I learned how to make it during the CIT first-aid weekend, and sure it might be gross but it still helps right?"
"Yeah, yeah it does help. This is… a lot nicer than I expected from you, so thanks."
"You're welcome. I think."
"Bonding over poop juice?" Heather let out a groan of disgust "Seriously, is there a single sane person left on this plane?" she was met with a few hands going up "On my team." the hands went down as she glanced over at Sierra "I'm guessing that would be a no."
"Twitter update…" as it turns out, Sierra was doing her thing on her pizza box laptop "Gwen's burned hand smells like Jamaican bird droppings. Cody is still cute as ever, even when he's all grumpy and mopey over that goth girl. Let's see, I have 73 characters left, so what else could I say right now?"
"How about this?" and then Noah started mocking her "Considering buying myself a new life on Craigslist, but having trouble deciding because they are all such a major improvement." and that proved to be enough to make Owen burst out laughing and squirt milk out of his nose, which then sprayed all over Noah "For crying out loud dude, that's just gross even for you."
"Oh sorry." Owen looked rather sheepish "Did I get some of my nose milkshake on you? Sorry, but it's the only thing that really cools off a snootful of Jamaican scotch bonnet peppers." and then he downed a few of them, leaving him burning in agony, but he quickly cooled it down with some more milk.
"Oh wait, it gets better. Must learn how to make nose shakes like Owen does, that's sure to impress Cody." and that caused Owen to laugh so hard he shot a pepper out of his nose that bounced off the walls and hit Tyler in the face, which prompted Noah to laugh, and DJ to join in after a moment "Nice one."
"Thanks! Hey check it out, I'll shoot a pepper out whichever nostril you pick, I mean choose, so whichever one you want!"
"Oh yeah, cause one noseshake a day isn't enough."
"Aw man, but I'm out of milk. You got any other ideas?"
"Let's see. Hey Courtney, how much of that poop juice do you have left?" and that was enough to make Owen burst out laughing again.
"If you'll excuse me gentlemen, I have to be anywhere but here." Alejandro was quick to grit his teeth and make his way out of the room.
"Eesh, tough crowd."
"He's probably just getting a little stressed being stuck on the plane again." DJ gave a shrug "I think he just needs a little bit of time to be alone with his thoughts.
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(Confessional- Owen)
"Oh man, this is totally awesome!" Owen's face lit up "My little buddy Noah is like the funniest guy I know, so making him laugh is awesome. It's like getting an A+ in hilarity, so I wanna go ahead and top his honor roll! Did that sound creepy? Anyway, it's great having DJ as part of the team too. The guy definitely knows comedy when he sees it, like my noseshakes!"
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(Confessional- Noah)
"What can I say?" Noah gave a shrug and leaned back "At least Owen has a decent sense of humor, that's more than can be said for Tyler and Alejandro. Then there's DJ, and I don't know what to think of him. Not yet at least, but he's got a sense of humor if nothing else. I think I can work with him."
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(Confessional- DJ)
"It took some getting used to, but I think I'm fitting in okay now." DJ gave a shrug "It does feel pretty good to have some teammates again, and you can't go wrong with someone like Owen on your side and having your back. Noah and Tyler are cool too, and Alejandro… I had my doubts after Jamaica, but he really made up for it with that mantra he taught me. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for now."
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(Confessional- Alejandro)
"A noseshake, are you serious?" Alejandro let out a groan as he facepalmed "Ay dios mio, how many more episodes are there? At least with DJ now on my team I have someone to engage in a civil conversation with, but the others…" he shuddered visibly "The less said there, the better for my sanity and patience."
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Meanwhile, with Alejandro…
'The further I get away from that Butter Donkey and his pet, the better…' Alejandro suppressed a growl as he made his way to the first class section of the plane, only to stop at the door when he overheard Chris and Chef talking:
"He's basically half animal, he's gonna take them out like a lion takes out a pack of chubby and asthemtic gazelles, and I'm not just talking about Owen."
"But what if he takes them out for real?"
"I already checked with legal, they say we're in the clear, and imagine the ratings we would get for it. That dip is gonna score major hits online." this little tidbit prompted Alejandro to move in closer, only for the door to creak as he did so "Did you hear something? Alright Ripper, you know what to do."
The cloaked figure standing before them said nothing, he just quickly moved and ended up easily finding Alejandro hiding behind the doorway, leaving him to scream in terror.
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A short while later…
"Attention helpless competitors, we've been denied permission to land, so you guys are gonna have to jump for it. Also, Chef may or may not have miscounted the number of parachutes we have for all of you."
"Hey I'm a freaking cook being forced to fly a plane, not a mathematician!"
"Well whatever the case, you guys might wanna light a pepper under your butts and grab one of them before they're all gone!"
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And that led to this…
"EXTREME!" Tyler was the first one to jump out of the plane with his parachute, with the others all lining up to follow his lead.
Noah glanced up at Owen, then down at the last remaining parachute "Oh joy, there's only one left and two of us. Oh life, why do you hate me so?"
"Nothing for it little buddy, let's do this!" so Owen pulled Noah in and strapped both of them into the parachute, and then they dove out with the others.
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Meanwhile, down on the ground…
"Oh wow, it's so amazing!" Sierra looked around in awe at their destination, holding Cody close enough to her to make him uncomfortable "I can't believe we're really in London! Did you know that Queen Mary II got engaged when she was only 15?"
"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that people died around 30 back then." Cody let out a nervous chuckle as he tried to pry himself free, to little success "You mind giving me my hand back now? It feels kind of numb."
"Kore wa nanimo imi shinai." this was when DJ landed near them, chanting his new mantra to himself to keep himself calm "Oh, hey guys."
"You okay DJ?"
"Yeah, just trying out something Alejandro taught me to help me with my curse." he was met with a loud scoff from Heather "I was kind of thrown off about Jamaica sure, but this mantra he taught me really helps! I went through a whole flock of birds on my way down, but somehow I didn't hit a single one of them! They even gave me these." he held up a bag and pulled out a large soft pretzel "You guys want one? They've got cinnamon on them."
"...Yeah sure, why not." Cody gave a shrug and grabbed a pretzel "I'm pretty sure birds don't carry bags of soft pretzels though."
"Yeah but to be fair, there's a lot about animals that I didn't know until I came on this show for the first time."
"He's not wrong." Courtney noted "There was this one time Duncan told me about when he had to catch a raccoon, and then it ended up transforming into… some kind of robot monster made up of dozens of them."
"EXTREME!" this was when Tyler dropped down onto the scene, only for his parachute to get caught on one of the towers, and then for him to fall off and crash to the ground "Ow."
"You okay bro?" DJ rushed over to check on him, only to be met with a thumbs up "So then where are Owen and Noah?"
"COMING IN HOT!" this was when Owen and Noah crashed onto the scene, the former landing on top of the latter "Well that wasn't so bad, was it little buddy?" he was met with a loud muffled groan in response.
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It wasn't long before everyone had landed on the ground (or gone splat in some cases), and had been gathered on a classic British double decker bus.
"Wait a second." Heather was quick to notice something off "Where's Alejandro, why hasn't he shown up yet?"
"Where is he? A very good question." Chris let out a sinister chuckle "The answer I'll get to in just a second, but before anything else, GUN IT CHEF!" and that prompted Chef to slam a foot on the gas, which prompted Chris to start his little tour "Here we are in London, home to all sorts of wicked stuff. Examples would include Big Ben, the London Eye, the sandwich stuffed with a bunch of french fries known as the Chip Buddy-"
"Yes please!" was Owen's input.
"London is also home to Scotland Yard, the biggest crime busting outfit in the world. But there was one case that stood out among the others, one that even Scotland Yard themselves wasn't able to crack… Jack the Ripper!" this was met with a series of horrified gasps, and a loud scream from DJ "Yep that's right, the messed up serial killer that terrorized Victorian London, but no one ever found out his real identity. Today, you guys are gonna be tracking that bad boy down, but you have to be careful, because Jack is also hunting you. That's why Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot is gonna be starting with a little handicap."
"Wait what?!" and then Owen started freaking out "You mean the Ripper got Al?! Why did it have to be Al?!"
"Anyway, the next stop on our journey is the Tower of London."
"What about Alejandro?" Heather glanced back at the rest of her team "Do you guys think he's okay? Because wow, that's a big advantage for us. Yay."
"Uh huh." Cody suppressed a chuckle, then glanced over at the others "So does anyone know about Jack the Ripper? Cause aside from the occasional article I find on the internet, I don't really know much about him."
"I actually know tons about the Ripper." Gwen told him "I did a speech on him back when I was in sixth grade."
"Nice. Did you do well on it?"
"Well the librarian told me that my fascination was morbid and occasionally offensive, but I still got an A on it."
"Good enough for me."
"You think we should look for Alejandro?" asked Heather "I mean you know, just in case this turns out to be some kind of dirty scheme of his or something."
"I think we should focus on the challenge right now."
"For once, I agree with the scrawny nerd over here." Courtney jerked a thumb at Cody, then glanced over at Gwen "Get this, my grade six speech was on the Tower of London."
"Nice one, I guess that makes you guys team nerd. Sorry I can't be much help."
"You're still better than her." Gwen jerked a thumb back at Sierra was trying to reach for him, and the four of them shuddered.
"Yeah, that's a fair point."
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(Confessional)
"I know I've said this before, but the point still stands." Gwen gave a shrug "Heather isn't exactly being subtle about her little crush on Alejandro, and she's more focused on that right now than the challenge. I know for a fact that it does a lot more harm than good, especially since having a relationship with Cody screwed things up for me so bad- Trent. I meant Trent, another slip of the tongue I guess. Weird, where the hell did that come from? What was I about to do again? Oh yeah right." she reached for the camera and started grabbing at it "I want that tape back! Give me the tape! How the hell do you open this thing?!"
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It didn't take long before the contestants arrived at their next destination: the Tower of London itself.
Once they were there, Chris started explaining the challenge, two British guards standing on either side of him "Your challenge is to follow the series of clues through the tower complex, all the way to the secret lair of the Ripper. Bag the criminal mastermind before he can get his hands on you, and that's a win. Your first clue is going to be found during the changing of the guard, if you take my meaning."
"I'm not sure we do." DJ told him.
"I figured as much. When I say changing of the guard, I mean change the guards. Your first clue is going to be found in his uniform, so one of you has to strip them all the way down to their gitches until you find it." this was met with a series of horrified gasps.
"You mean, strip a grown man down on live TV? Isn't that gonna get a lot of backlash?"
"We looked into that, legal said we're in the clear for it. If you don't wanna do it then that's up to you, but a million bucks is on the line right now. And while you're at it…" and cue the chime that annoyed the crap out of everyone.
"...Anyone wanna start us off?" DJ was met with no response, and so with a heavy sigh he started off the song "It's creepy how they stand there, and don't even blink."
Owen went next as he waved a hand in front of the guard's face "I don't wanna see his bum all naked and pink."
"Hey buddy." Noah tapped the guard on the shoulder "Can we bribe you to strip yourself down?"
"Yum Yum Happy Go Time Fish?"
"Don't kill him you clown!"
Courtney was adamant in her refusal to do the deed for Team Amazon "No way, I can't strip him! Duncan will freak!"
"And I'm allergic to uniforms!" Heather was quick to come up with an excuse for herself and back away from the guard.
"Okay, now that's just weak." Gwen noted dryly.
"I made a vow that Cody's the only man for me!" Sierra pulled Cody close to her, despite his attempts to free himself.
"What, so now I have to do it? Uh hello, injury- Ow!"
"If we're gonna find that clue, there's only one thing to do: Force someone to strip him down, and sorry Gwen that's you!" Courtney and Heather took the chance to shove Gwen into the guard.
"Oh come on- Wait, I've got an idea!"
"If we're gonna find that clue, there's only one thing to do!" Owen and Noah had taken to playing rock paper scissors to make a decision "Force someone to strip him down, and sorry dudes it's you!" they ended up pointing at DJ and Tyler.
Gwen on the other hand, she had come up with an interesting idea involving the guard and a mask of Cody's face "Sierra look, it's Cody, and I think he wants to strip."
"Poor honey! Quick, get out of those things, and that will help I bet." Sierra pounced on the guard and gave him a kiss to the temple as she ripped away his clothing.
"Yeah, we're gonna find that clue!"
"We're doing what Chris proposed!" Heather had been left with the guard's hat, which she found to be empty.
"Force someone to strip him down, cause if we don't we're hoesed!" Cody, the real one, had been left with the guard's neckpiece.
"Totally ho-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-osed!" Courtney went on to finish the song on a long high note.
"Okay mysweet Codykins, just one more and…" Sierra finished stripping down the guard when she removed one of its boots, causing the clue to fly out "There it is!"
"I've got it." Cody quickly caught the clue and opened it, reading it out loud "Pole taught atop a southern spire…"
"Wait I've got it, follow me!" Courtney was quick to take off, with the rest of Team Amazon following her, and Sierra doing so as well once she realized the guard wasn't Cody.
Noah glanced over as Team Amazon left, then turned to DJ and Tyler "Seriously, go ahead and strip the guy down already."
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Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…
"Woah, take a look at this guys." Cody stopped in in tracks as they entered a certain room, which prompted Gwen and Heather to do the same "This is the room Anne Boleyn lived in before she was beheaded by Henry VIII!"
"I thought you said you didn't know much about this." Gwen shot him a raised eyebrow.
"About Jack the Ripper, but I did a paper on Henry III when I was a freshman. I only got a B on it though."
"Whatever, so what's with the creepy desk?" asked Heather.
"I think this is a medieval torture rack, and there's a note here." he picked up the note from the rack and read it out loud "It says that our next clue is inside that desk attached to the torture rack, and in order to open it we have to tie someone down and start stretching them." he looked around between the two of them "Well I could always use a few more inches-"
"I volunteer Heather." Gwen gave a smirk.
"Oh thank god, you probably would've broken me in half. I second your motion."
"Two to one, get on the table."
"Hey, what the (bleep)?!" Heather let out a snarl.
"Anyone else wanna carry the motion? Courtney, Sierra, what about you?" Gwen received no reply, and then glanced around to find the two of them missing "And they're gone."
"I thought I noticed a lack of invasion of my personal space." Cody muttered "I wonder where they went."
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Now for where Courtney and Sierra went…
"Will you let me go?!" Sierra was trying to force her way up a staircase, only for Courtney to hold her back with a will "This was supposed to be like in the olden days, when the ladies and their lords would sneak off together to kiss and get arrested for being in love! But instead, you ruin my chance to be alone with my Codykins!"
"Will you get it together you freaking lunatic!" Courtney yanked on her hair and pulled her back to her level "You've been going insane over Cody since you got here, and in Paris you almost cost us the challenge because of it. I'm not letting you make us lose!"
"But I haven't!"
"Not yet, and I don't plan to let you!" Courtney tugged on her again, which led to the two of them wrestling each other on the ground "Don't screw this up for me!"
"I just wanted one kiss from him for the sake of historical accuracy!" their scuffle was cut short by a shadow looming over the two of them, prompting the two of them to look up and scream in terror as they were stuffed into a burlap sac.
All the while, Chris watched from the end of the hallway with a wide grin slowly spreading across his face "Will anyone be able to survive the wrath of Jack the Ripper, not to mention this show?"
"We didn't kiss! I wanna get my kiss from Codykins!"
"And more importantly, will Cody survive the wrath of Sierra? Make sure to tune in after the break, when we'll try to answer at least a few of those questions, right here on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
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Meanwhile, with the team of men with a way too long name…
"Come on man, don't be like that." DJ glanced down at where Tyler was tugging on the guard's socks "We lost the rock paper scissors fair and square, and I don't like it any more than you do, but neither of us want to lose this challenge."
"I don't wanna lose either!" Tyler's head snapped up towards him "You try and get pantyhose off a dude when you're just using your teeth!"
"What? Tyler, nobody said we had to use our teeth."
"...Oh."
"Yeah."
"Hey you guys, check this out!" this was when Owen got their attention directed to the act he was putting on with the guard's hat "I say, I'm the queen! Oh heavens, I think I ate too many royal beans at the royal luncheon!" he moved to let out a fart, only to end up straining when nothing came out "Hold on, stay with me here."
"Uh… you find anything?"
"Nope." Tyler ripped off the guard's socks and found them empty "You?"
"Nope."
"You've gotta be kidding me." Noah's scowl deepened "We've got a pen in his pants pocket and lint in his socks, but still no clue, and I'm telling you guys now that there's no chance in hell I'm going to search his boxers."
"Well we could find another guy to strip." Owen gave his typical innocent grin as he took off the hat he was wearing, revealing an envelope inside "Hey check it out, there's a clue in here!" he was met with a dirty look from Noah "Funny right? I say, pip-pip."
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Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…
Heather's screams of agony continued as Cody stretched her on the rack "You totally did that on purpose you little (bleep)!"
"What can I say, every cloud has a silver lining." Cody gave a shrug, which caused Gwen to let out a chuckle, causing him to give a small smile.
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(Confessional- Gwen)
"I know, it seems kind of hard to wrap my head around." Gwen gave a shrug "It does feel kind of weird to be around Cody when he's not acting like some jock wannabe, but at the same time, it's kind of nice. I guess now I can get to know the real him, and so far, not bad. He's shy and modest, he can be really sweet and he's a big softy at heart. It's kind of cute. Okay seriously, how do I open that thing? I'm getting that tape back!" she reached for the camera, but after a minute of screwing around with the camera, she let out a sigh "Courtney isn't too bad either, turns out we actually have stuff in common. I'm just hoping I don't turn into a Type-A and start making lists, or I'm gonna have to throw myself out of the plane without a parachute."
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(Confessional- Cody)
"Me and Gwen huh?" Cody let out a sigh "It seems more like a fantasy now. I don't really have the best track record with girls, as in most of them just laugh in my face or act like they didn't even hear me when I try to win them over. But with Gwen… at least she didn't blow me off like they did. Granted she did hit me in the crotch a few times, but it's still better by comparison at least. I guess somewhere along the way, I started trying to be the kind of guy that most girls are into, strong and cocky and the like. Look how that turned out. DJ is right, I can't take that sort of stupid approach with someone like Gwen. I guess I've just gotta be myself and see what happens, and if that doesn't work… then I guess there's nothing left to do but move on."
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Meanwhile, with Team Men…
"Okay, so we have to tie one of us down and stretch them." DJ glanced over at the others "You think we should play rock paper scissors again?"
"No need to worry bros, I'm flexible to the extreme!" Tyler proved his point by bending his legs around his back and over his arms, leaving the others thoroughly freaked out "That's a taste of hardcore sweaty moksha yoga!" and then he went over to strap himself to the rack.
"...Okay then."
"Yeah yeah, just hurry up and tie him down." Noah grumbled "I'm not convinced Alejandro isn't going to show up and make me do it just because I'm shorter."
"Come on man, Alejandro isn't that bad."
"I don't trust the guy, he's like an eel dipped in grease swimming in a pool of motor oil."
"Dirty?" was Owen's guess.
"I mean he's slippery. Think about it, he's like Heather only with social skills."
"Huh. You know there's this one time I heard him talking in his sleep, something along the lines of "First the million, then the cabronas" or something. You think that means anything?"
"...Can't say for sure yet."
"He's not that bad dude, I owe him big time." DJ pointed out as he tied Tyler down onto the torture rack "He did help me with my animal curse, twice more or less."
"I'm pretty sure he also screwed over like half your team. Harold, Bridgette, Leshawna, just think about it."
"Oh god, oh for the love of mercy stop!" Tyler started screaming like a maniac "It's too much, I'm begging you to stop!"
"...You do realize we haven't started yet right?"
"Oh. My bad, it's cool. I'll silent sweaty yoga-ish monk dude styles."
"Good enough for me." and then Noah started stretching Tyler, earning a series of agonized squeals in the process.
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Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…
Heather's screams of agony continued as she kept getting stretched, and the screams were soon drowned out by a fit of cursing "Stop enjoying this you piece of (bleep)!"
"Sorry but in all seriousness, you wouldn't do the same?" Gwen let out a chuckle as she kept on stretching Heather, causing her to scream in agony.
"That's irrelevant, sure it's probably true, but it's still irrelevant!" it was then that they noticed the drawer open and reveal the next clue.
"There it is."
"I've got it." Cody picked up and opened the clue, and then read it out loud "If your teammate can still use their feet, then bring them down for something to eat. You think that means the next one is in a kitchen?"
"I think that means the banquet hall, back downstairs and off the courtyard. Heather?"
"Spare me, I'm fine on thanks to the two of you." Heather stood back up and started stretching, only to release a loud cracking noise, earning a few snickers "At least tell me I look taller now than before!"
"If you did end up taller, I wanna get on there too." Cody told her "I mean look at me, if there's anyone that could use a few more inches, it's me."
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Meanwhile, with the team of men…
"You know you haven't screamed in awhile." Owen glanced down at where Tyler was letting out the occasional gasp of pain, but no scream "Is this supposed to be one of those yoga things where you breath through your toenails? Because that would be so cool to see!"
"Hate to break it to you Owen, but I'm pretty sure that's not a thing." DJ reached over to the desk and pulled out the clue, which he read to the others "If your teammate can still use their feet, then bring them down for something to eat."
"Food?"
"Of course that's the one point you latch onto." Noah commented dryly "Probably the banquet hall, so let's move."
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Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…
"Okay, I see it." Cody poked his head into the window of the banquet hall "There's some kind of jeewlry case on the table, if years of watching Doctor Who are anything to go by then the next clue is probably in there."
"There's no way it's that easy." Gwen muttered.
"Probably not, but we won't know unless we try right? Heather you coming?"
"Yeah, how about no." Heather told him flatly "You two go inside and get the clue, I'll guard the door in case the Ripper shows up.
"How is that fair?"
"I'll show you fair in the form of the rack marks on my ankles!"
"...Well you heard the lady Gwen, we might as well get to work."
"Way ahead of you." so Gwen grabbed him by the hand and led him inside, though she did glance back at him as she did 'Huh, you know this feels… kind of nice actually.'
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Meanwhile, with Team Men…
"Come on, I can smell the food this way!" like a bloodhound, Owen used his sense of smell to lead DJ and Noah through the tower towards the banquet hall "Hey by the way guys, you know what's hilarious?"
"We forgot Tyler on the torture rack." Noah stopped in his tracks when he realized this, which prompted the others to stop as well.
"How is that hilarious?"
"Because it's Chris and his twisted sense of humor." this was followed by Tyler's screams of agony echoing loud enough for them to hear.
"True enough. Hang on a second, I'll get him." and so DJ quickly rushed off back to the torture room.
"It's not like it's really our fault, I mean he got so good at being quiet that-" Noah cut himself short when he saw DJ come back to them alone, and his face incredibly pale "What's the matter, where's Tyler?"
"He wasn't there…" DJ shuddered "I think the Ripper got him…"
"...Aw, crapbaskets."
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Meanwhile, with the Queen Bee…
"For crying out loud, what the hell is keeping those two?" Heather found herself grumbling alone outside the door to the banquet hall, filing her fingernails "I swear, if I find out those two just turned into the next Geoff and Bridgette and started making out I'm gonna-" she cut herself short when she noticed a shadow moving in front of her, and then she screamed when she looked over and saw the Ripper standing next to her.
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Meanwhile, inside the banquet hall…
"No sign of the clue in here…" Cody rummaged through a box of jewel on the dining table in the banquet hall "Toothpick made of gold, emerald-studded toothbrush…" he placed that one in his pocket, earning a raised eyebrow from Gwen "What? Sierra keeps stealing every one of my toothbrushes she can get her hands on. I've gotta be able to micromanage. And worse comes to worse, I can probably sell it later. Is that bad?"
"I say go for it, but I think they might have another opinion." Gwen jerked a thumb towards where a number of guard dogs were standing in the doorway and snarling at them "Just out of curiosity, is there anything small and round in there? Size of a chew toy?"
"Does this count?" he handed her a golden egg with a note sticking out of it.
"Works for me. That's right guys, follow the shiny ball." she started moving the egg around (causing a note to poke out of the inside) which prompted the dogs to heel and their animosity to subside "Okay that one worked, now sit boys." they sat immediately "Good."
"How did you do that so fast?"
"I taught obedience to my lizards, I guess corgis are just as trainable, and inbred. Now if only I could get that to work on my little brother."
"Speaking of which, check out what I found." Cody pulled the note "We'd better head back outside before Heather starts throwing a fit."
"What do you mean starts?" she let out a snicker, and then the two of them made their way back outside "Hey Heather, we found the- Oh crap, she's gone."
"And I think I know why." Cody reached down and grabbed her filing stick "I guess we're the only ones left then."
"Let's make sure it doesn't get any worse than that. What does the clue say?"
"Let's see… The Ripper's most natural place has two levels inside its space. Go use your sack and bring the guy back, at the red starting line to the race. Red starting line, two levels, you think it means the double decker bus?"
"Maybe, but it said the Ripper's most natural place. If I remember right from my speech, he did his dirty work at White Chapel, so let's try there. If that doesn't work, then we'll try the double decker bus."
"Okay. So a two story building at White Chapel? Let's go."
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Meanwhile, with the remainder of Team Men…
"Come on, where is this stupid thing…" by this point, Noah and the rest of his team had arrived at the banquet hall and he was searching through the bin of jewelry, only to stop when he heard a loud growling noise, followed by a loud squealing noise "What the hell was that?"
"Oh god… Momma no…" DJ stood horrified at the entrance to the banquet hall, as a corgi stood in front of him growling at him "Not now…"
"You're afraid of dogs? Seriously?"
"No, not dogs… I don't wanna hurt animals, like the baby seal in the Yukon or all the seagulls around the world or…" DJ paused, then took a deep breath to calm himself down "No, I can't be like that. I have to remember what Alejandro told me, and I have to focus. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai. Kore wa nanimo imi shinai." so with another deep breath, he knelt down and petted the corgi on the head, and then it went on its way "Yes, it worked! My curse is gone for real! I'm a free man now!"
"Good to know, now get over here and help me search." Noah then came across a golden egg with a note poking out of it, which he promptly opened "Nevermind, I found it, now where the hell is Owen?"
"Hey guys, take a look at this!" this was when Owen made his way back into the room with half a dozen corgis latching onto him "It's a fur coat for animal lovers."
"You're the next George Carlin, and yes I'm being sarcastic." Noah rolled his eyes and read the clue out loud "The Ripper's most natural place has two levels that make up its space… This is so easy, it's like he's not even trying."
"What, you mean the double decker bus?"
"Exactly. So there is a brain rolling around in there, looks like you've been holding out on me all this time."
"What do you mean holding out? I told you I smuggled some wieners off the plane!" he held up one of the wieners in question.
"Where were you keeping that?" DJ shot a raised eyebrow at him.
"I'd… really rather not say."
"Um… should I-"
"I've learned not to, let's just go." was all Noah said without turning around, prompting DJ to remain silent.
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Meanwhile, with Team Amazon…
"Well it's not much, but it's all we got." Cody opened a door and let Gwen into a certain two story building "I guess I didn't think about how most of White Chapel would probably be closed by now."
"Not to mention that the only place open would be some grungy punk club." Gwen breathed a sigh of frustration "I guess my hunch sucked, sorry to waste your time."
"You had a hunch and you acted on it, it's not that big of a deal. The only problem is, if it was really the double decker bus we were supposed to go to, chances are Noah and his team have already figured that out too. Noah can be pretty snarky, sarcastic and bitter, but he's definitely not stupid."
"Great, we are so coming in last place."
"Don't worry about it too much, you know I'd never vote for you."
"Yeah you wouldn't, Sierra and Heather would in a heartbeat. Courtney on the other hand, I'm not so sure."
"Worse comes to worse, we can just get her to vote off Heather." that caused Gwen's face to light up almost instantly "Although…"
"I know how much you hate Sierra, and I've gotta admit her obsession with you got pretty old after awhile. But as far as Heather goes, we might not get another chance. If we do lose tonight, then I promise you that the next time we lose, Sierra goes."
"Deal." he gave her a hopeful grin and a thumbs up "But that implies we will lose, and I don't want to go back emptyhanded. We should still try to fill our sack with something."
"I don't see what we can though, unless some kind of criminal drops into our laps in the next few minutes."
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome your number one jamming punk crew band, the Schnitzel Kickers!"
Hearing the announcement, Gwen poked her head out towards the stage, and her jaw dropped at what she saw "Holy schnitzel."
"What?" Cody glanced out at the stage, and his jaw dropped as well "Son of a schnitzel, is that who I think it is?"
"Yep."
"He's right out there on stage, literally 10 feet away from us."
"Yep."
"...You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Probably."
"It's times like this I really was the tough guy I try to act like. Aside from helping me with girls, it would really come in handy right about now."
"Just leave it to me, I'll head out there and kick him in the schnitzel and then you can stuff him in the sack."
"Works for me. You wanna go first?"
"That's the plan." and so she promptly bolted out onto the stage.
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Meanwhile, with the team of men…
"Okay, the coast is clear." DJ poked his head onto the double decker bus, only to find it empty, and so he motioned for Owen and Noah to follow him, but he received no response "Guys, come on it's clear." he glanced back to find Noah was gone, and his head snapped forward to see the Ripper locking him in the glass box of the driver's seat "Noah!"
"Nobody locks my little buddy in the corner! Sick him royal beasts!" Owen suddenly pounced in front of DJ and motioned for the corgis on his back to attack him, only to end up being tackled by them instead, which prompted the Ripper to advance on them.
"Kore wa nanimo imi shinai." DJ suddenly stood upright and caught him by both arms, then shifted him around and pulled him into a full nelson "Normally I like to act like a gentle giant and all that, but when somebody hurts my friends, that's when I know I can't let my fear get the best of me. Owen, now!"
"Right!" once he was free of the corgis, Owen stuffed the Ripper into the sack and tied it shut with a triumphant grin "Yes, we did it!"
"Right on man!" DJ caught him in a high five.
"Who's Jack the Ripper now huh?!" Owen bent over towards the Ripper and aimed a fart at his face, which caused the entire bus to fill up with gas and make DJ pass out "DJ? DJ you okay dude? Oh man, I touched cloth. Hey Noah hang on, I'll let you out!"
"Stay away!" Noah barked at him "Don't open the door until the air clears!"
"Uh… okay."
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(Confessional)
"Looks like Owen just got some points in my book." Noah gave a shrug "DJ did too, I didn't expect him to stand up to the Ripper like that. I meant what I said about Alejandro, I don't trust him for a second. I'll have to really make nice with the others to stay safe from him. Oh joy, having to show genuine emotions like happiness. It's exhausting sometimes."
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As the sun rose over the skies, the plane was now flying to its next destination.
Owen, DJ and Noah made their way into first class and found everyone else that had been taken by the Ripper (everyone except for them, Cody and Gwen already there "Alright, everybody's okay!"
"Yep, everyone is as fine as they were before. You guys were so stupid to get so freaked out like you were." Heather was met with dirty looks from pretty much everyone else.
"But in any case, it was reassuring to see some were concerned." Alejandro's tone was laced with venom.
"...You were watching everything?" Noah cringed under his gaze "Oh crap, that's… awkward as all hell."
"Like an eel. Dipped in grease. Swimming in motor oil."
"Uh… where I'm from that's a compliment, tough room man."
"I see."
"...You're not buying this are you?"
"No."
"Crap."
"Hey come on guys, now's not the time for a fight." DJ stepped in between the two of them to try and ease the tension "Especially since we won the challenge, we caught the Ripper!" he pulled the Ripper's hat off to reveal his identity.
"Old Man Jenkins?!" everyone let ou a series of simultaneous gasps.
"Oh yeah, forgot about that one." Chef pulled off the mask to reveal his true face.
"Ezekiel?!"
Sure enough, Ezekiel sat before everyone, very disheveled and pissed as hell "Thanks a ton for messing things up for me ya knobs!"
"We found him living in the cargo hold, homeschooling with the rats." Chris told them "The plan was to let him back in the game if he could avoid getting captured, but since he couldn't, that deal is off. Chef?"
"On it." Chef grabbed Ezekiel by the back of his cloak and stuck a parachute on him as he led him to the door "Stay off the plane this time okay? We don't need the lawsuits over you turning into some feral manbeast." he was met with a downcast nod "Okay good." and so he threw him out of the plane.
"You know, I do feel kind of bad for him. He just wanted to redeem himself, I sort of get that feeling." DJ let out a sigh as he watched Ezekiel fall, but then he turned his attention over towards Gwen and Courtney "So if we got Ezekiel, who did the two of you catch?"
"Well to be fair, Chris did say he wanted a criminal. We may not have caught the right one, but it's better than nothing right?" so with a sigh, Cody and Gwen pulled off their sack to reveal their captive.
Everyone let out a series of simultaneous gasps "Duncan?!"
Sure enough, Duncan stood before them, and for the lack of a better description, he looked pissed as hell as he rounded on Gwen and Cody "You two crash and ruin my concert with the Schnitzel Kickers, you kick me in the schnitzel half a dozen times, and then you bring me back to this piece of crap? Screw it, where's the stupid exit again?" he moved for the exit.
"Not so fast Mr Quitter." Chris was quick to stop Duncan in his tracks "You thought you could skip out on the game didn't you? You thought I wouldn't find you?"
"Yeah but you didn't find him, we did." Cody let out a nervous chuckle "Sorry."
"Noted, but it doesn't change the fact that Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot wins it for today. As for you guys from Team Amazon, you ladies are gonna have head back to the elimination room, for real this time. No reward challenge copouts to protect you. Speaking of rewards, Duncan is gonna be on the team named after me for the time being."
"Huh. Well that's kind of interesting." Duncan glanced over at DJ, and the two of them shared a grin before he suddenly got dragged away by Courtney.
"Oh, that's probably gonna be bad." DJ let out a sigh, but then glanced over at Alejandro as the others started moving out "You know I really do have to thank you Alejadnro, that mantra you taught me really worked wonders."
"I could see that for myself." Alejandro gave a fake smile "It was an honor to help you during your time of need mi amigo."
"So I have to ask, what did it mean anyway?"
"Well given your success tonight, I suppose it's right for me to tell you the truth. The mantra is actually Japanese for "This means nothing.""
"So… it's not some kind of magic chant?"
"There's nothing magic about it, it's all in the mind. The mantra meant nothing, just as fear and curses mean nothing to you. None of those factors hold any power of you, except for the power that you give you in your own mind. You're only as cursed as you let yourself believe, and I used the mantra as a way to teach you this lesson."
"...Woah, that's deep. I think I get it. But you know you're right, now that I've lasted almost a full week without crippling any innocent animals, I think I'm over this curse for good, and I have you to thank for it."
"I'm glad to hear it. I hope you can use this newfound confidence and resolve to benefit our team to the best of your ability."
"Oh believe me, I will." DJ glanced over to see Courtney yelling at Duncan in the hallway "Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better go do some damage control."
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Meanwhile, with the most iconic couple…
"And how the hell could you think it was okay to just up and leave like that, because it sure as hell wasn't!" by this point, Courtney hadn't wasted any time in tearing into Duncan "It was as wrong and messed up as that stupid mohawk of yours.
'Urge to kill, rising by the second…' Duncan gritted his teeth as he forced himself to not lose control.
"Let me warn you now, you abandon me again and there will be consequences. Now get over here you big lug." she suddenly pulled him into a gentle hug "I'm not really mad you know, I just missed you is all." then she went on to ruin the moment by pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket, which then unfolded until it was the size of a doorway "Now based on the 32 page letter I wrote you before, I have a list of things you need to change if we're going to have an actual serious relationship this time-"
"You know what? No, screw it." his sharp tone caught Courtney off guard.
"Wait what?"
"You know something, I like what we had but I can't deal with this anymore. You were cool on the island, that was awesome. Then you became totally cutthroat in Action, that wasn't too bad, but this?" he yanked the paper out of her hands and threw it to the ground "This is where I draw the freaking line."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying that as long as stuff like this sticks around, I'm not. We're done."
Courtney froze for a moment as she processed this, but then her shock turned to rage as she suddenly slapped Duncan straight across the face, sending him crashing to the ground, then ran out of the room crying.
Now alone, Duncan let out a groan as he sat up and rubbed his wounded cheek "Well that went about as well as I expected. At least she didn't kick me in the crotch this time. So why does this one sting so much more?"
"Probably because of the emotional weight behind this one."
Duncan glanced up to see DJ holding out a hand to him, which he accepted "Figures you'd be the one to say that. Better you than Bridgette or Leshawna I guess."
"Yeah, but both of them are gone now."
"So I've heard. Apparently you and I are gonna be on the same team again, so at least that's not a total pain in the ass. If I'm stuck here for awhile, at least I've got good company."
"I hear that, and there's plenty more to come on our team. Good to have you back man." the two of them caught each other in a fist bump.
"I'd say it's good to be back, but I already made that point."
"True enough. Are you sure that was the right call though, breaking it off with her?"
"You can only take so many shots to the crotch before you decide you've had enough. I'm pretty sure I'll never be able to have kids thanks to her anyway."
"If you say so…" DJ cringed slightly at the thought "So who do you think is gonna get voted off this time?"
"Think about who's on that team and say that again."
"...Oh yeah."
"I don't know about you, but I wanna see it happen."
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A few minutes later, in the elimination hall…
Heather sat with the rest of her team brooding on the bench, only to glance over and see the rest of the other team, Alejandro especially, make their way into the room "Great, the first one who got captured and his band of misfits."
"Oh come now Heather, cheer up." Alejandro gave a smirk as he leaned in close, his voice low enough for only her to hear "Your departure is going to make the rest of this game that much easier for me, at least once I tie up a few loose ends."
"Don't think you're gonna get off that easily. I know you messed with most of Team Victory, and don't think DJ is gonna be blind to you forever."
"Perhaps, but that can be dealt with when the time comes. Getting rid of you however, that is my crowning achievement. The most bittersweet part of it however, is that I was unable to use the temptation of a kiss to defeat you. Even you would not have been able to resist me forever."
"I would've crushed you like a grape."
"Well I suppose we'll never know now."
"You smug little-"
"Alright Amazons, the time has come." this was when Chris finally got the elimination started "I doubt this is gonna be much of a surprise, but we might as well go through it anyway. The barf bags full of peanuts go to… Gwen. Cody. Sierra." he tossed them to each of them, leaving only two left, one of them looking emotionally exhausted "Courtney. Heather. Both of you have a long history of being a huge pain on this show, the only difference being that one of you actually sued us. But in any case, the last bag goes to… Courtney." he tossed her the bag, only to receive very little response "Whatever. Heather, four votes against you means you're out. It's time for you to say tallyho, pip-pip, cheerio, toodleoo-"
"Oh for god's sake, if I jump will you shut up?" Heather rolled her eyes as she snatched a parachute away, then glanced back at the others, DJ in particular "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're the one I'm picking to win. And look out for eels." she glanced over at Noah, then toward Alejandro, and after shooting a dirty look at her team, she leapt out of the plane, leaving everyone else to cheer and/or breath a few sighs of relief.
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(Confessional)
"Man, it's been a really long day." Cody breathed a sigh as he leaned back on the toilet "We got to explore London, somewhere I've always wanted to go. I got be alone with Gwen for awhile, and it was actually pretty nice to just be causal with her. Duncan is back in the game, not sure how to feel about that. And Heather is gone, which means everyone else is sleeping pretty sound right about now. Still though, I feel kind of fuzzy, like I drank a lot of coffee, and I don't even like coffee."
It was at this moment that Gwen walked into the confessional, which prompted Cody to bolt upright with shock "Uh… hey."
"Hey. Crap, did I forget to lock the door?"
"The lock doesn't work, I found that out the hard way."
"I'm just glad it's not Sierra."
"I don't blame you. You did pretty well in the challenge today."
"Not well enough, we still lost."
"And we got rid of Heather, I fail to see the problem."
"Oh yeah. Still, it was… pretty fun actually."
"All things considered, yeah it wasn't too bad. At least I got to see the real you this time, instead of that annoying casanova ladies man."
"Yeah, I've been told that isn't very well received. DJ actually told me to try being myself, and I have to say, it's a lot less exhausting." there was an awkward pause between the two of them, until…
"...Oh the hell with it." Gwen suddenly gripped Cody by the shoulders and pulled him in as she pressed her lips against his.
It was at this moment that Duncan walked into the confessional and paused as he took in the sight before him, then promptly walked out without uttering a single word.
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Meanwhile, with the host with the most…
"Woah man, now that I definitely didn't see coming!" Chris and Chef watched the scene taking place in the confessional from their place in the cockpit "Now that's definitely how you get some hardcore drama started! Just wait until Sierra finds out about this one. Will Duncan be the one to tell all, and who's gonna be the one to take the next fall? Be sure to tune in to find out next time on Total! Drama! World Tour!"
A/N:
This chapter shows a few major changes from the original, as I had eluded to in the last chapter. For starters, Ezekiel isn't feral anymore and gets kicked off the plane for good, which takes care of a plotline that added little to the story, and was both unnecessary and kind of disturbing. I couldn't really think of much to do with him, at least nothing that wasn't pretty much copying ideas from other fics, so I figured I'd just have his stowaway arc end now.
With a new story comes some sacrifices. I knew I would have to get rid of Heather at some point, and honestly, I couldn't see it working at any other time than this. After all, this isn't her story. Besides, she's one of the characters I think is pretty overrated if I'm being honest, the others being Leshawna and Lindsay, but that's a discussion for another day.
Yeah, now it's time to address the elephant in the room: I did have Duncan break up with Courtney in this chapter, but not for the reasons you think. I'm gonna try and go somewhere with this, so just bare with me for the next few chapters. It's all in the name of fixing what's probably the biggest controversy in Total Drama history. On the plus side, that scene did give me the chance to show off the really nice friendship between Duncan and DJ. Too bad Geoff isn't in this season, then I could've shown off the original Killer Bass trio being reunited. Don't worry though, if all goes to plan then that will happen soon enough.
Speaking of controversies, it was Cody that got a kiss from Gwen in the confessional after London, instead of Duncan. Don't get me wrong, I like Gwen and Trent paired together, but I've always been more fond of Cody and Gwen, and I think it's a shame there aren't more fics dedicated to them. Duncan still has a role in this scene though, since he acts as a witness to this moment.
Elimination order:
Duncan (returns)
Ezekiel
Harold
Bridgette
Leshawna
Lindsay
Izzy
Heather