(Aftermath Aftermayhem)
I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, favorited or followed this story since I last updated it.
LittleRedline: Leshaniqua or Harold. Thanks for the suggestions, I'll be sure to keep those in mind.
BigSmokeYeet: Yeah you know it, so now things are about to get even more interesting.
Fritz Electroscreech: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yep, Cody's really proving himself this time around. Yeah, I watched the entire series of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and it's a masterpiece in every sense of the word. That fic you have planned sounds pretty interesting, and trust me, I get the feeling. Truth be told, I actually have a similar idea in mind. In short, it was going to be a Total Drama and Black Clover crossover (or more like the plot of Black Clover with Total Drama characters). Your fic idea sounds really interesting though.
MilesW1998: First off, I'm glad to see that you read my Underdog story. Second of all, you'll just have to wait and see for the whole second chance challenge, and as for the Niagara Falls challenge, you're just gonna have to wait and see.
Cody Fanatic: Tyler sounds like a good pic, even though there's already a Ridonculous Race fic that pairs them together, and I did think about Harold, but he seems like too obvious of a pic, and I was never that fond of him to begin with. Yeah, Alejandro has a pretty sizable target on his back right now, but given where we are in the competition, it's not going to do too much. I was never going to have Cody leave because of injuries, and yeah I get what you mean about those.
Romeoaifesili: Yep, pretty much everyone on that team is onto Alejandro, but given where they are in the season, it's not gonna do that much good. Yep, Cody is definitely getting more of a chance to shine on his own. Getting Gwen hooked on anime was something I thought about doing for awhile, and I figured what better one to start with than the best of the best. But yeah, I can totally see her getting hooked on stuff like Death Note and Attack on Titan. That seems like her style. Cody getting injured was never supposed to make him leave, and I was never really fond of elimination by injury to begin with.
Brocknedjar: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Pairing Duncan with Leshawna in the race is a pretty interesting idea, especially since I don't see many Ridonculous Race fics with Duncan.
Guest: Read the title of the chapter to get an answer to that question.
Ellismskd24: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Majima Goromi: Well you'll have to read to see for yourself. But yeah, everything ends up making references to Dragon Ball at one point or another.
Frosty Wolf: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. You're right though, everything references Dragon Ball at some point, though the "Over 9,000" thing has been done to death. Keep in mind that even if Alejandro doesn't have any allies except for Tyler, he's still got a lot of skills and intellect going for him, so he's not gonna be easy to pick off. I assume you're talking about the new seasons, and yeah I agree with you. I'd really like to see at least a few of the classic competitors return. As for Leshawna, yeah Harold does seem like the most likely pick, but a bit too obvious in my opinion. Bridgette, I don't want to spoil too much. Gwen, I actually did have her compete in another fic I did awhile back, the Ridonculous Underdogs, as part of a team called the Artists, if you wanted to check that out.
Fiction Realm: I've never seen that one myself, so I'll take your word for it.
SuperSonicHeroes: Thanks, I'm glad to see you liked it. Yeah, I've wanted to include a bunch of anime references for awhile now, and I figured that if any of the contestants were gonna do it, then it would be Cody and Noah. I needed a substitute for making Gwen's head, and Goku's head was the idea I settled on. Gwen getting into anime was fun, and yeah I can see her liking darker stuff like Hellsing, especially ones like Attack on Titan or Death Note. Alejandro might not have many allies, but he's got a lot of skills and plenty of tricks up his sleeve. But yeah, Noah gaining allies in Duncan and DJ does leave Alejandro with a disadvantage. As for the bear, you'll just have to wait and see.
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The aftermath stage was pitch black with darkness, with the spotlight beingthe only thing that let the audience see anything happening on the stage.
"Attention Total Drama fanatics! Forget about the old fashioned Aftermath, we're moving right up into Aftermayhem territory!" Geoff started things off as he made his way onto the stage "I'm your co-host Geoff, and this is actually kind of weird because Bridge was supposed to meet me up here. Oh well, she's probably gonna surprise me, which makes sense because this whole show is full of mega surprises! But first, there's no chance in hell that anyone is gonna get an allergic reaction to these nuts, because it's the peanut gallery!" he gestured to where all of the former contestants (those who were eliminated and those who didn't qualify) sat off to the side of the stage "And get this, our own obnoxious and self-centered roving reporter Blainely is finally out roving, like way far from here! Yep you got that right, Blainely is off on a potential Total Drama tour to potential new locations for the franchise, and she's meeting with one Total Drama super fan contest winner in each country. You'd better stay tuned for this one, because apparently this super fan is obsessed with Blainely! Wow, I never thought I'd say that. Alright Bridge, time for you to take it away!" he received no response "Okay, now this is getting weird. Where the heck is my tofu angel at?"
"I'll give you a hint big guy, they eat a lot of red meat there." this was when Blainely made her way out onto the stage, earning a series of horrified gasps.
"You- But that's not- You're supposed to-"
"Well said Geoffy boy, you're quite the eloquent speaker aren't you?"
"What the hell did you do to her?!"
"Oh come on now Geoff, how Bridgette left doesn't matter. What matters is that she did leave, and I'm officially back in my seat as a co-host."
"But I thought you wanted to get out of your contract so that you could-"
"So that I could bail on this dumpster fire of a show before my career ends up getting flushed down the bathroom confessional toilet of life? It turns out that if a live show runs long them I don't get paid, and if I try to leave the show for any reason other than being fired or killed by a freak accident involving a falling light, then I'm gonna get sued. Are you listening?"
"Come on, come on…" as it turns out, Geoff was crossing his fingers and looking up at a stage light that was coming loose.
"Yeah that's real nice, it almost makes me wish that the producers had sent me on that tour instead of Bridgette. Almost."
"You mean the producers sent her away?" then he got some info on his ear piece "Really, are you serious about that?"
"Okay, time to get on with the show."
"Yeah not so fast, because as far as my producers know, you're standing by with our superfan right now in…" he tapped his earpiece "In the frigid mountains of Siberia? Seriously, where the heck is Siberia? It's in Russia? We've got her on the feed? Put her up, do it now!" he motioned for the monitor to come down, revealing a heavy blizzard "Oh come on, it's all static!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a blizzard."
"Wait what?!" Geoff's head snapped up to see Bridgette come onto the scene, and then he rounded on Blainely in a rage "You… You did this! But how did you-"
"Oh come on, it's nothing that nefarious. I just took Bridgette to the airport to shoot a special report (trapped her in a burlap sack and dragged her there), slipped my passport and ticket into her purse and helped her onto the plane right before it took off."
"Must… resist… urge to murder…"
"Geoff!"
Geoff's head snapped up and saw Bridgette on the screen "Hey baby, are you doing okay out there Bridgy-bear?"
"Bear? Is the bear back?! We already lost one of the interns!" then an avalanche engulfed her as the screen cut out, earning another series of horrified gasps.
"Bridge, Bridge can you hear me?! Oh god oh god oh-"
"Snap out of it!" Blainely smacked Geoff across the face to snap him out of it "Get ahold of yourself already man, I've got a show to host."
"What the hell do you mean the show?! She could be buried under 10 feet of bear infested Siber-land snow right now!"
"Actually Geoff, it's more like 20 feet." Harold told him, only to get smacked upside the head a few times and realize his mistake "Sorry, I realized once I said it."
"You…" Geoff rounded on Blainely in his unyielding rage "You are a monster!"
"Meh, I've been called worse." Blainely gave a shrug.
"Bridge, if you can hear me then listen to this: I promise I'm gonna do everything in my power to get Blainely back, and get Blainely gone!" Geoff was met with cheers from the audience and the peanut gallery as he stormed off the stage.
"Yeah, go ahead and let me know how that goes." Blainely rolled her eyes as she turned to the audience and the camera "For those of you just joining us, allow me to welcome you to a fresh new installment of the Total Drama Aftermath! And speaking of stars, I'm none other than your one and only host, Blainely Stacy Anderws O'Halloran!" she was met with silence, and a loud yawn coming from Leshawna "Oh joy, you're too kind. Now let's meet the special guests for tonight, and get a quick word from each of them. First up, he's a 300 pound bag of noxious fumes and joy, not to mention the winner of Total Drama Island, it's Owen!" she gestured to the entrance to the stage, but nothing happened "I said, it's Owen!" still nothing "Oh for the love of god, will someone get him out here?!"
"Alright, time to do this!" and so Owen made his way out onto the stage, both of his arms full of food "Hey guys, it's so awesome to be here!"
"Okay look big guy, we're kind of on a schedule so I'm gonna make this fast. You willingly gave up a chance at winning a million dollars and threw yourself out of a plane. What do you have to say about that?"
"What is there to say? Duncan and Noah and everyone else are my friends, if anyone had to go then I'd rather it be me than them, especially my little buddy Noah. Let him have his chance to shine in the spotlight!" he was met with various cheers "Plus now I get to enjoy all sorts of other amazing food that I missed so much, and there's one other thing I wanted to do. Anybody know where Izzy is?"
"BONZAI!" this was when Izzy suddenly dropped down from above, screeching like a banshee, and landed on Owen's shoulders "Hey big guy, what's up?"
"Izzy!" Owen suddenly grabbed her by teh wait and pulled her into a hug "I missed you like crazy Izzy, you and your magic foot kicking me in the kiwis! Breaking up with you back in Jamaica was the dumbest thing I ever did, I don't even know why in the first place!"
"...We broke up?"
"Yes! When you got hit with the plane and turned super smart, then the army showed up and took you away, and you dumped me!"
"...Oh yeah." she let out a chuckle "It's kind of hazy after I landed on the beach but yeah, it rings a bell."
"It was the dumbest thing I ever wanted to do, and I've done a lot of stupid stuff! Remember last season when Chris had me come back and spy on everyone to pay for that cheese cellar? I never thought I'd say this, but no amount of food in all the world is enough to make the hurt from that go away! I love all my friends, but you mean more to me than anyone else in the world! I want you to take me back, and you can kick me in the kiwis as many times as you want! I'll even do it to myself if I have to!"
"...You know what big guy?" Izzy broke free of his hug and clocked back a leg, letting her foot slam into his knees, causing him to fall over, allowing her to pull him into a heated kiss, earning a series of awws from the audience "You're the only one that gets to see what happens when I get really crazy." she grabbed a turkey leg from his pile of food, then grabbed him by the face and pulled him off stage, earning a series of odd looks from the others.
"Okay, I'm pretty sure that's gonna have to be censored out." Blainely rolled her eyes at this, then turned back to the camera "Since we've had enough touchy feely stuff, it's time to bring out the next contestant. He's the loser who got voted off first twice in a row, only this time he didn't go down without a fight, give it up for the Total Drama cockroach himself, Ezekiel!"
Sure enough, Ezekiel made his way out onto the stage "Hey homes, what's up?" he gave a few nervous waves before sitting down with the rest of the peanut gallery.
"And that brings an end to Total Drama fugitives. Next up, she's licked Owen's armpit, eaten a cockroach, had her head shaved on international TV, and had Leshanwa slap her around so hard she lost a tooth. On top of that, she's brilliant, manipulative and a potential future lover to the newcomer Alejandro, and she would be the one to watch in the competition if she wasn't here, give it up for Heather!"
Sure enough, Heather made her way out onto the stage, scowling in her typical fashion "Great, you had to bring up that stuff from the island didn't you?"
"There's a reason why it's the most beloved season, and that episode had more ratings than any other of the entire show."
"Of course it is." Heather rolled her eyes and let out a sigh "But as much as I hate to admit it, and it honestly hurts to admit this, there is one important lesson I learned about this show from that nightmare."
"And what would that be?"
"Whoever you deem the biggest threat, be careful to never underestimate the wild card, or else you've already lost." this earned her a few odd looks.
"The wild card you say?"
"Yep, and looking back, every season so far has had one, and this one is no exception. I'm not going to say who it is, but I will say that Alejandro had better watch his back." and on that note, she made her way over to the peanut gallery, earning a series of looks as she did so "Like I'm gonna tell any of you anything I didn't tell her."
"Uh huh. Moving on from that." Blainely got things back on track "As for our final loser- I mean guest, she spent half the season stalking and molesting Cody, though she has proven herself to have a lot of skills going for her. She's also Total Drama's number one stalker and blogger, let's give it up for Sierra!"
A loud sobbing noise was heard as Sierra made her way out onto the stage, her eyes red and puffy, and she walked right to the Peanut Gallery and sat down without another word.
"...Okay then. Speaking of stalker girl breaking down crying, it's time to kick things right in the business with a fresh installment of, say it with me, That's Gonna Leave a Mark!" she was met with no reply "Oh for god's sake, would it kill you to play along with me! Whatever, go ahead and roll the clip.
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The clip rolled, and it showed the following moments of contestants in excruciating pain:
Noah was in the confessional holding up a sausage, only to be attacked by a pack of corgis.
After being captured by the tube in Area 51, Tyler was flung down into the chair in the metal room, only for it to fling him into the door.
While Sierra was riding her emu in Austrailia, the emu suddenly turned towards her and swallowed her head.
The last clip in the segment featured Courtney attacking Gwen in a fit of rage during the challenge in Greece,
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One series of comically painful clips later…
"Yes yes, watching these idiots in pain is so rewarding." Blainely rolled her eyes, but then gained a wicked smirk as she turned to the Peanut Gallery "Before I go through with announcing our big surprise, I think it's high time for us to address the dramatic elephant in the room. Not too long after Heather was eliminated, a certain incident that took place in a confessional between two members of her team. Cody and Gwen kissed." she was met with an uproar from those present in the audience, and some sobbing from Sierra "That's right, Cody and Gwen became a couple, and the fanbase has been going crazy over it ever since." and that was enough to make Sierra start to wail in a very loud fashion "And so has she. Can we get some elephant tranquilizers over here already?" she was met with several interns appearing and dragging Sierra off stage "Thank you for that. Now then, since we've seen how those on the plane have reacted to the new couple, I think it's only fair that we hear some opinions from those off the plane, particularly from some of their closest friends." she waved a hand and had some spotlights shine down on Leshawna, Harold, and Trent "Oh yeah, the rating are gonna be amazing for this one. Leshawna, you're one of Gwen's closest friends on this show. What are your thoughts?"
"Oh great, we're doing this now." Leshawna grumbled, but then she gave a shrug "Fine. Truth be told I'm not really surprised by it, not at this point anyway. When I heard Cody had set Gwen up with Trent back on the island, I had my doubts about the short stack. I spent so much time trying to put Heather in her place, and let's face it, there were all sorts of sneaky and conniving people running around the island at that point. But I was wrong about the short stuff, in all honesty the kid is one in a million. As long as he treats Gwen right, then he's got nothing to worry about from me." she was met with a round of applause from the audience "But it goes the other way too. If he hurts her, then I'm gonna break him like a Kit Kat bar."
"Good to know. Harold, you're one of Cody's fellow Drama Brothers, so what are your thoughts on this new development?"
"Allow me!" Harold reached for a mic, only for it to be grabbed by Leshawna instead, which prompted him to sigh and give his explanation "As a fellow Drama Brother, I continue to remain loyal to Cody, and I knew that he and Gwen were meant to be together from the start."
"No you didn't." was the simultaneous chorus of Leshawna, Trent and Justin, only for them to be ignored by him.
"I could see it in Cody's eyes, the eyes of a gentle soul afraid to show his true self to the rest of the world, and in Gwen, the spirit of the night waiting to claim its soul mate. The two of them are meant for each other, it's written by the hand of destiny!"
"...Yeah, whatever the hell it is he said." Blainely rolled her eyes, then turned her gaze to the last spotlight "Alright, now to get to the really big one. Trent, what are your thoughts on Cody taking away any chance you have of getting back together with Gwen?" this earned a few gasps from the audience and the rest of the peanut gallery "And remember, truth or anvil." she jerked a thumb up at the anvil hanging above them "So go ahead and let the hate start pouring out of your soul and all that good stuff."
"Actually…" Trent took a deep breath, leaving everyone in anticipation "I'm really happy for the two of them."
"Sure you are." Blainely smirked as she glanced up at the anvil, but her smirk fell when it didn't drop on him "Wait seriously, that's it?"
"Believe me, I've gotten a ton of fan mail over this. Even though a good chunk of it is just death threats from pissed off Gwuncan fans. I get what they're saying and why they're so upset, the ones that aren't threatening to kill me anyway, but what me and Gwen had, as great as it was, it's over now. I had my chance with her, and I ended up blowing it because of my own jealousy and paranoia." he let out a sigh "I'd be lying if I said that it didn't hurt to think about, because Gwen really is something special. But when I saw the two of them bonding over the season, at least when Sierra wasn't hunting Cody like a dog in heat, I could see how well they connected. Cody and I are actually pretty good friends, and I know he cares about Gwen and he's gonna treat her right. Besides, it doesn't really matter what I think, because who Gwen wants to go out with, it's her choice, not mine. If she's happy, then I'm happy for her, and as long as Cody treats her right, that's good enough for me, and I'm gonna tell them that the next time I see them." this was met with a pause, and then a massive uproar of cheers and applause from the audience, and a few from the rest of the Peanut Gallery.
"...Great, so much for making some more drama." Blainely scowled at the heartwarming moment before turning back to the camera "Well with that out of the way, the time has come for me to reveal our big surprise for this episode. Tonight, the Total Drama Aftermath is about to hold the very first ever, and probably only depending on how it turns out, Total Drama second chance challenge!" this was met with a few jaws dropping, and a large number of cheers "Yep you've got that right, our motley collection of Total Drama losers just got about as lucky as they can get on this show, because they're about to compete for a second shot at that grand prize of one million dollars! What do you say Ezekiel, are you ready to get back on the plane?"
"I'll pass eh." Ezekiel gave a shrug "I spent like a month stuck down in the cargo hold, it was a real pain too eh."
"Well you may or may not have a chance. Five of you rejects are about to catch lightning in a bottle, or in this case, peanuts in a can." she gestured to where a few interns had cannons armed with cans of peanuts locked and loaded.
"Peanuts…" Owen started drooling, only to suddenly be pulled behind a couch by Izzy, earning a few weirded out looks from the others.
"Fire in the hole!" Blainely made the call, prompting the interns to fire the peanut cans at the various contestants "Most of these cans contained salty nuggets of continued loserdom, in the form of peanuts, but five of them contain something very special, so go ahead and crack them if you've got them."
"Okay, let's see here…" Leshawna opened her can of peanuts, only for a golden Chris head to spring out of it "A Chris in the box? Oh come on, that's an insult to boxes everywhere."
"And it looks like Leshawna is our first contestant to get a second chance at the million. That's one down, we still have four more contenders."
"Hey Tyler, did you open yours yet?" Lindsay opened her can, only for a Chris head to spring out and hit the ground next to her, which went unnoticed by her.
"Looks like Captain Cranium, aka Lindsay, is in it to win it. That leaves three more."
"Okay, just peel of the plastic and…" Ezekiel tore off the plastic from his can, causing the head to sprout up from inside.
"Looks like homeschool gets another chance too, which leaves two more."
"I think mine is defective." Harold shook his to try and get something out of it, only for the golden head to burst out and hit him in the crotch.
"Seems like quite the interesting technique. Crawl on up here to join us Harold. That means we still have one contender left, so who hasn't opened their can yet?"
"Hm? Oh, right." Justin looked up from where he was staring at his reflection in a mirror and opened his can, only for the golden head to hit him in the face "Oh come on!"
"Looks like the second best looking guy on the show is our fifth and final challenger!"
"Excuse me, second best looking?"
"Believe me when I tell you this Justin, it pains me to say that as much as it pains you. But in any case, what would a cast of losers be without a gorgeous face, am I right?"
"...I'm still the best looking guy on the show."
"Oh without a doubt, you always will be in my eyes. Anyway, it looks like our five lucky contestants are Leshawna, Lindsay, Ezekiel, Harold and Justin. " Blainely gave a smirk and then tapped her earpiece as the monitor came back down "It looks like our frigid-flunkey Bridgette is alive and ready to do some roving reporting. So funny thing Bridge, because the last time you were this cold, you made out with a pole and-"
"Enough with the pole talk!" Geoff suddenly burst back onto the stage "Bridge talk to me, are you okay over there?"
"Not really… the superfan is really mad that I'm not Blainely, and he keeps throwing things at my head!"
"What does he want?"
"Or another question." Blainely gave a smirk "Is he hot, like pole hot?"
"Forget about the freaking pole, that's not important right now! But is he? No wait, I have to stay on point!"
"Yeah yeah, so what does our superfan want?"
"I think he said he wants the Drama Brothers to sing a song about Blainely, and to make it a traditional Russian song."
"Aww, well you tell my superfan that I think he's super fantastic."
"...I gotta do what I gotta do." now incredibly dejected, Geoff glanced over at Trent and the rest of the Drama Brothers "Well how about it brothers, are you with me?" he was met with a few thumbs ups from Trent, Justin and Harold.
"Oh yeah, this oughta be quite the fate sealer."
"Okay brothers, let's do this." with the Drama Brothers backing him up, Geoff started off the song, Russian style "Here's an open letter to a treasure of a girl!"
"That's me!"
"Whose behavior on this show always makes me hurl!"
"Wait what?!"
"She's a nasty fake blond schemer, who calls herself your host! Without the help of her entourage, her job would be toast, hey!"
"Hey- Hey!"
"She'll tell you that she loves your shirt, but it's something she can't stand! She's just so full of you know what, she has to double flush the can!"
"I eat a lot of fiber!"
"She bought to pairs of the same jeans, one size four and one size eight! So when she wears the bigger ones, you'll ask if she's lost weight!"
"Hey!"
"She's not the gal you think she is, so let me tell you plainly! There's thick black hair between her toes, and her real name isn't Blainely! She's a phony scheming weasel nose, and her real name isn't Blainely! She steals and lies cause she's evil bros, and her real name isn't Blainely! It's Mildred!" and that closed out the song, earning a loud chorus of cheers from the audience and the Peanut Gallery "Alright give me an update babe, how did I do?" he looked up and saw a pissed off bear charging at the camera before it cut out, much to the horror of him and almost everyone else present "Bridge? Oh god Bridge, can you hear me?!"
"Oh yeah, that was a great song choice for a Blainely super fan Einstein!"
"But that's not- I didn't-"
"If that's a Siberian brown bear, then Bridgette is doomed." Harold blurted out, earning a series of smacks upside the head "Sorry."
"You hear that, my girl is doomed thanks to you!"
"You're the one who sang it, not me." Blainely pointed out "And for the record, whoever the hell told you about the hair between my toes is going to have their pants filled with rabid lobsters when I'm through with them!"
"You're gonna pay for this. The gloves are off. Like way off." and then he walked away.
"Wow, take things seriously much? She's gonna be fine. Probably." Blainely let out a nervous chuckle as she turned to the camera "In any case, very soon someone is about to get another shot at the million dollar grand prize! As for who that is, you're gonna find next when we come back on Total! Drama! Aftermayhem!" and then a light fell on her head, earning a massive uproar of applause from the audience.
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One commercial break later…
"Alright everyone, welcome back to Total Drama Aftermayhem!" Blainely signed back onto the show after the commercial break was over and gestured to Leshawna, Justin, Lindsay, Ezekiel and Harold "One of these five rejects from the show is about to claim the victory in our second chance challenge and go back into the game for another shot at the million dollars! So what is the challenge I can hear you wondering? Think Total Drama, the board game!" she gestured to the large board game covering the floor next to them.
"Board game huh? Doesn't sound too hard." Ezekiel gave a grin full of confidence "I'm the king of Chutes and Ladders back when I play at home, but I always play my mom and she usually lets me win, so I dunno."
"Looks like you've still got that fire in your eyes Zeke, good for you and for ratings. But you should know that this is no ordinary boardgame. The failures, that's the five of you, will have to take turns rolling the giant die and hop your way along the gameboard. But you'll have to be extra careful, because some of the squares have been rigged with booby traps. Each of the squares is meant to represent either one of the remaining eight players, or one of the last five places they were dumped by the Total Drama plane. Every square has a mini challenge you have to complete before you can roll again. Get past the final square to face the guard and his final question to test your skills. The first one to answer the question correctly wins and gets to go back into the game. So how about it, are you guys ready to play?"
"Oh yeah, I'm ready to play." this was when Geoff came back onto the stage, looking more smug than ever "I'm ready to play dirty anyway."
"Sure you are. Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't you be comandeering a surfboard to get to Siberia right about now?"
"That's a pretty cool idea, but nope. I just had to get Operation Payback up and running before we could get started with this wicked challenge. Alright k man, time to cue the clips!"
"What clips, what the hell is going on?"
"Seems to me like a certain host wannabe didn't get the memo about the camera in the green room being on 24/7."
"...Wait what? No, no no no, no no no no no!"
"Actually, yeah. So without further ado, it's time for us to show a little something that I like to call, Blainely's Best Moments!" and then he brought down the monitor.
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As Geoff's method of revenge, the following was showcased to humiliate Blainely and make a fool out of her:
Her burping and farting at the same time.
Her being secretly overweight.
Her eating a dirty slice of pizza off of the ground.
Her trimming her nails with a belt sander.
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One set of humiliating clips later…
"Oh man, that was awesome!" Geoff could only burst out laughing at the sight "You know, my mom always said that if you can burp and fart at the same time, then it means that you don't have a soul."
"It really is amazing what editors can do with special effects and body doubles." Blainely let out a nervous chuckle, only to be met with silence, and so she shoved the die to Lindsay "Okay now hurry up, we're running late because of that totally fake clip."
"Running late, what do you care about that?"
"What? Oh no reason, nope, no reason whatsoever."
"You sure about that? Oh wait that's right, it's in your contract. If we don't finish the show on time, then it means you don't get paid."
"No, it means that we don't get paid."
"Yeah well, either way right?"
"Whatever, let's get back to the stupid game already. Come on and get to it Captain Cranium, you get to go first."
"Okay, come on lucky number seven!" so Lindsay rolled the die, getting a 4 and landing on one of the DJ squares.
"Oh snap, looks like you get the DJ challenge." Geoff waved his hand and had a few interns bring in a carton of milk and a bowl of peppers "Complete with Jamacian peppers to symbolize how your DJ, your old teammate from Team Victory, got a second chance of his own after he lost in Jamaica. You have to gulp down two peppers and chase it with milk while you watch a clip pack of the top 10 hilarious wipeouts of the season, and if you can avoid howling so hard that you send a fiery noseshake out the old nostril, then-"
"Then you're still in the game!" Blainely shoved two peppers into Lindsay's mouth and poured some milk onto her face "Go!" and then they started playing clips of Tyler wiping out constantly and making an ass out of himself, which earned no reaction from Lindsay "Well talk about taking a trip down memory lane."
"Take your time Lindsay, let the comedy sink in." Geoff was met with a shrug "Seriously, you got nothing for us? Well that's pretty hardcore-"
"And time's up! Way to go Lindsay you move onto the next round, now Harold is up so let's get this over with." and then Blainely started moving things forward.
"Seriously, not even a chuckle or a snort?"
"Hm?" Lindsay swallowed the ppers and shot a dirty look at Geoff "That's because I never laugh at boyfriends, and I want Tyler to win the million dollars!" and then her face turned red and she breathed out some fire from the peppers.
"Okay then, Harold you're up next!"
"Time for all of you to witness my mad skill in action." so Harold rolled the die and ended up landing on a five.
"Looks like we've got a five for Harold, and go ahead and take your time bro." Geoff was met with a dirty look from Blainely "What, these kinds of things can be done fast or they can be done right."
"Time to show my mad skills." Harold stepped onto one of the squares, only to end up falling down a trap door.
"Ouch."
"Yep, hello booby trap and goodbye boob. That means we're down to four, and one less player in this game means that we can pick up the pace." Blainely gave a smirk as she turned to the rest of the players "Alright then, next up is the true hottest guy on the show."
"And don't you forget it." Justin rolled the die and walked forward two squares, causing a set of laser projectors and a pair of aliens to show up.
"Looks like you've hit the Area 51 challenge." Geoff noted "Alright soldier, listen and listen good. You're gonna have to dodge some carefully aimed lasers without breaking contact with the square."
"Okay."
"And make sure not to get zapped." Blainely told him "Becuase if you do, then a pair of alien face huggers will not so much as hug your face as squeeze the life out of it. Are you ready?"
"Uh… do I still have to do this?"
"It depends on whether or not you want to die, now go!"
"What?!" Justic was forced to start dancing around the square to dodge the lasers with some surprising gracefulness.
"Pretty impressive moves on your part homeschool, are you available for birthday parties or other special occasions?"
"I may be the best looking, but that's all I got going for me!" Justin's moment of glory was cut short by a laser hitting him in the butt, causing him to run away screaming as the aliens latched onto his face and started electrocuting him.
"Alright Justic, go ahead and enjoy that facial, and be glad that you weren't the first one to lose this game! Okay Leshawna, now it's your role."
"Fine by me, let's do this already." Leshawna rolled the die and landed on a three.
"Oh man, you got the Australia square." Geoff let out a chuckle "Good luck, you're gonna need it with this one."
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One scene transition later…
"Okay, seriously?" Leshawna found herself in a boxing ring paired up with a kangaroo "So you mean we're going through with this?"
"Blame the producers, this was their idea." Geoff told her "Anyway, your challenge is to spar for a full round with a boxing kangaroo. This ain't gonna be easy though, keep in mind that one of these guys took down Duncan, probably the toughest contestant on the entire show."
"Yeah well I tangled with Heather, this is gonna be a piece of cake. This one is for my ginger baby cakes Harold, and then I'm gonna-" Leshawna was promptly cut short by the kangaroo punching her out.
"Ouch. First Duncan and now Leshawna, there's no stopping these things."
"Leshawna, my brawling beauty! You don't have to worry, I will avenge you!" Harold suddenly burst out from his trap door and leapt into the ring "Now let's do this!" and then he ended up getting punched out too.
"...Okay, so that happened. Anyway, looks like it's down to Ezekiel and Lindsay, kind of a weird pairing but the unexpected is what counts on this show. Homeschool, you're up next, so roll with it."
"Okay, check this out eh." Ezekiel rolled the die, which landed on a six.
"Looks like you just landed on the Tyler square."
"Yeah, shut up and let me do this." Blainely was quick to take over "Alright homeschool, your challenge is to create a haiku, whatever the hell that is."
"Oh yeah, my Bridgette told me about that one. It's a three line Japanese poem that has to have 17 syllables, 5 then 7 then 5. Duh."
"Oh for the love of- Who keeps feeding you lines."
"Anyway Zeke, since this is the Tyler square, your haiku is gonna have to highlight some of his positive attributes."
"Okay, quick question." Zeke looked up at him "Which one of them is Tyler again?"
"The dude in the red tracksuit that hurts himself all the time." Blainely promptly slapped a hand over Geoff's mouth "You've gotta do it in 10 seconds or less, starting now."
"Uh… He's good with people."
"That's five lines, next is the seven."
"He knows how to treat a girl." he pointed at Lindsay and was met with her waving at him.
"Now for the five lines, three seconds or less."
"Uh… He looks good in red?" and then a ding sounded.
"Done."
"Oh yeah, way to go homeschool!" Geoff caught Ezekiel in a high five "That means you're still in the running for a second chance at the million dollars!"
"Alright let's go people, quick like bunnies and all that good stuff. Lindsay you're up, and make it snappy!"
"Okay." Lindsay rolled the die and landed on a five.
"Looks like you got the Sweden circle." Geoff pulled out a tray of Swedish meatballs "Alright here's the deal Lindsay, you have to balance three of these Swedish meatballs on your nose for three seconds or-" he was cut off by Lindsay doing exactly that, barking like a seal all the while, taking him by surprise "Uh… okay then."
"Sorry, I totally wasn't listening. So what's my challenge?" she tossed them off her nose and into the air, only for all of them to land on her head.
"It's already over, and you're still in the game."
"Yes yes, very exciting and all that." Blainely snatched the die and handed it to Ezekiel "It's your turn now homeschool, and make it snappy!"
"Let me do this without rushing eh!" Ezekiel rolled the die and landed on a six.
"You landed on a six and that means you're at the end of it, which means that we can end this all the sooner." Blainely shoved Ezekiel forward, thrusted a sack into his hands and pulled out some random intern onto the stage "Now you have to use this sack to catch the intern that we had dress up like Jack the Ripper. Once you do that, drag him over to sergeant beefy over here to get the skill testing questions. You have 45 seconds, now get to it!"
"...Okay." Ezekiel gave a shrug, and then with a mighty roar he pounced on the intern and then tackled him off stage.
"Huh. Homeschool is tougher than we gave him credit for." Geoff watched the scene taking place offstage, only to hear something in his ear piece "Hey that's awesome, we got the satellite feed up and running again!" he motioned for the monitor to come down, only for it to reveal an image of the bear again "Oh god, not again. This is definitely not good."
"No Geoff, it's okay." then it zoomed out to reveal Bridgette bandaging the bear's paw and giving him a gentle smile "He was only upset because he was hurt."
"Aw man."
"Wounded paw, meet soft-headed animal love." Blainely commented dryly "Call it a hunch, but I don't think Bridgy-bear is going anywhere anytime soon."
"No way!"
"Sorry Geoff, but I have to stay until Bruno is better."
"But Bridge you can't stay, we need you hear! What about the show? What about me? You can't just leave me here with that thing!" he pointed at Blainely.
"I know Geoff, but if anyone can handle her, it's you. I'll be back soon, I promise. I love you, don't forget that." and then the screen cut out.
"Bridge!" Geoff then proceeded to round on Blainely once more "Have I told you that-"
"That you're gonna make me pay if it's the last thing you do?" Blainely rolled her eyes "Yeah, you mentioned it a few times."
"Well I am, nobody messes with my girl! You're gonna pay!"
"Sure I am you cocky little-" she was cut off by a sack being thrown at her, knocking her to the ground.
"Huh. I guess Zeke got it done."
"I ain't the same homeschool I was back at Wawanakwa eh!" Ezekiel climbed back onto the stage and pumped a fist in triumph.
"Gotta give you points homeschool, you're about to win another shot at the million. And then there's you Blainely, isn't karma a real pain in the-"
"That wasn't karma, it was just bad aim. No time for that, just have the guard read the question already!"
"Just a moment madam." the guard felt around his uniform for the question, and after a moment he pulled it out of his hat, only to start clearing his throat.
"Oh for god's sake, give me that!" Blainely snatched the question from him "What's the name of the punk band Duncan was in when Cody and Gwen found him in London?"
"Uh…" Ezekiel paused and glanced around nervously.
"Come on you country bubkin, this is an easy one!"
"Don't rush me, I'm thinking eh! Can I get a hint or something?"
"Come on you reject, just say that it's Der Schnitzel Kickers! Der Schnitzel Kickers is the answer to the question!" this was followed by a ding, and then an uproar of cheering "Okay, what the heck is going on now?"
"...Sorry about this homeschool." Geoff patted Ezekiel on the shoulder, then shot a triumphant smirk in Blainely's direction "Yeah there we go, congratulations Blainely!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Remember the rules, the first person to answer the question right gets a one way ticket right onto the Total Drama plane!"
"Wait what?! You expect me to go out there with the rest of those losers! There's no way in hell that's happening, and no one can make me go!" then she noticed the interns surrounding her with a bunch of weapons "Correction, no one except for them." and then she took off running with the interns chasing her, leaving her to get the crap beaten out of her off screen.
"And that's our show." Geoff took the opportunity to sign off of the show "Looks like my girl isn't gonna be back for awhile, but lucky for us, neither is Blainely, and that's totally worth giving up a chance at the million. Sorry again homeschool."
"She was pretty mean eh." Ezekiel gave a shrug, only to get patted on the shoulder.
"You don't know the half of it buddy."
"Let me go you rejects!" this was when Blainely passed by them, being stuffed into a sack and carried by a group of interns "I don't have a chance in hell out there, they're gonna edit me into some kind of shrill, rude and caddy monster! At least let me have someone come with me to do the music for my solo!"
"We'll see about that one. Anyway, next time we show up we're gonna be coming to you guys live from the top secret location of our finale, so that we can give you guys a wicked sneak peek at all of the carnage in store for our final two contestants, and let me tell you know that it's gonna be brutal you guys! Be sure to keep an eye out for the Total! Drama! Aftermath!"
A/N:
Now comes the Aftermath, showing what's been going on behind the scenes with the rest of the cast, and five of them earn a chance to have another chance at the million dollar grand prize. Truth be told, I never actually intended to do the Aftermath, but I got so many reviews from people asking me to show everyone's reactions to a few bits of controversy taking place throughout the season in regards to a certain new relationship that was formed this season.
As many people wanted to see, I included a few reactions to Gwen and Cody being together as of London. I didn't want to go through all of them, so I decided to focus on the three that I think mattered the most: Leshawna (a friend of Gwen, Harold (a friend of Cody), and none other than Trent (Gwen's ex-boyfriend). The first two are pretty straightforward in my opinion, and Trent, yeah I think that's the one that you guys wanted to see the most. But he's not some bitter and spiteful asshole that would want to make them suffer (though I'm sure that there are plenty of fics out there that portray him as that), and I truly believe he would be happy for Cody and Gwen becoming a couple.
Yeah, unfortunately Blainely is going to be showing up to compete in the game in the next chapter. Honestly, I couldn't see it going any other way. Actually, my original plan was to have Courtney be eliminated, win the second chance challenge and them come back, but I never found the right time to eliminate her, so I had to scrap that idea, and this is what I was left with. On the plus side, Ezekiel did get a chance to shine in the second chance challenge. Also, don't expect Blainely to be the only one to make an appearance next chapter. I've got someone else in mind that will show up, but as for who that is, you're just gonna have to wait and see.
Oh yeah, and I got Owen and Izzy back together. It might have been a little bit rushed on my part, but I think it had to be done. I never gave a ton of thought about this couple, but come on, I think they deserve their happy ending, don't the rest of you?