Chapter 3

Eight Years Ago

Fuck he was tired.

Overtime was like gold so it was worth it but when he got home Jay swore he was going to be asleep before his head hit the pillow. He was coming off a twenty-hour shift, ending a twelve-hour graveyard that had not been silent nor peaceful; he'd had to chase a tweaked-out wannabe Bonnie and Clyde duo, the latter of which somehow managed to fall through a fucking skylight.

Fucking tweakers.

Point was, he was exhausted and hungry and all he wanted was to pick up some breakfast, shove it down his throat and then pass the fuck out. Which meant that when he heard Peterson call his name he had to stop from growling, instead landing on a slightly irritated huff. "What?"

"Richards wants to see you."

"For what?"

The other man just shrugged but there was a weird, buzzing energy about him- probably too much caffeine. "Don't know. He just said to bring you to the front desk."

It usually wasn't a good thing if the Desk Sergeant wanted to see you, especially when that Sergeant was Richards, a gruff veteran who had to be nearing retirement age, not that he would ever think of saying that to the man. Or anywhere near his vicinity. Or to anyone but himself. But for the life of him Jay couldn't think of why he'd want to see him. That chase earlier might've gotten messy but he'd done it by the book, and there were a shit ton of witnesses to back that, and he couldn't think of anything else he might be in trouble for. He hadn't called in sick lately, hadn't been late or especially snarky, unlike Peterson. Speaking of his co-worker he kept stealing glances at him but whenever Jay caught him the other man just smiled, bouncing along beside him as he chattered about his next shift. Aw shit, was Richards going to ask him to cover someone else?

Internally he started bitching, he just wanted to sleep God damnit, but externally he was pushing that exhaustion back, already resigning himself to at least another four hours. It wasn't like he wasn't used to it. How many times had he pulled double sentry duty on base? That was what happened when you were a rookie- you did the grunt work and you kept your mouth shut about it.

Although he wasn't always the best at that last bit.

"Sarge, I might be wrong about this, but I'm pretty sure it's illegal to make someone work over twenty-four hours." Jay joked when they finally got up to the front desk, though he held back his smirk when Peterson chimed in.

"Good luck arresting him."

The 17th Districts Sergeant didn't look impressed by either of them. "Funny. A civilian came in to file a complaint."

"A complaint about what?"

"You look too damn sexy in that uniform."

Tess.

It was like the whole world stopped so he could take her in, the messy raven hair and the pretty blush pink dress, all those little buttons he already couldn't wait to undo, the sunlight glinting off her glasses and the sapphire eyes twinkling behind the lenses. Jay didn't know what was more beautiful, her eyes or the smile she gave him, so damn pleased with herself, but it didn't matter because she was here.

Taking her in his arms wasn't a conscious decision but spinning her around was, her delighted laugh infecting not just him but the whole precinct, the chorus of whoops and cheers echoing the celebration going on inside him. It'd only been five months since he'd seen her, actually four months, two weeks and six days but who was counting? Not him, not anymore because Tess was here. He was so happy to see her he forgot about everything else, where he was, everyone around them- the only thing that mattered was her. Her smile, her laugh, her lips, so fucking soft against his own. God he loved kissing her. He did it for as long as he could, until his chest started to get tight with the lack of oxygen and then he finally pulled away, unable to help his grin when she blinked dazedly up at him.

"Halstead."

His head whipped to his Sergeant and he gave him a flustered smile, any worry he might've felt dissipating when the man's lips twitched as he covered a smile.

"This is still a police station."

"Yes sir." He said with a nod, trying to smother his own smile when he felt Tess doing the same, and after another half reprimanding look the Sergeant turned away and he was putting all his attention back on his girl, though he did catch Peterson's little salute and returned it with a dip of his chin.

For this he might have to upgrade the man from co-worker to acquaintance.

"All clear?"

Tess nodded, she didn't look like her last op had gone badly but he still liked to ask, though it was hard to do his usual scan for injuries when she looked so damn pretty.

Pink wasn't usually a colour she favoured but lord did it look good on her.

"You go shopping?"

"Yup. Got it in Paris." She replied with another pleased smile, moving her hips in a way that made the skirt flare out around her legs. "I got a few other things there too."

"Yeah?"

"Mmhmm."

Fuck.

She was definitely wearing some of the things, which made him all the more eager to undo those buttons. His girl had a taste for the finer things, and who was he not to appreciate them?

"Take me home, officer?"

Fuck. Yes.

When Tess laughed he realized he'd said that out loud but any embarrassment was quickly squashed when he saw the matching heat in her eyes. They needed to get home.

ASAP.

"Hey lovebirds! Later tonight-"

"Nope!"

She snorted when he waved off Peterson, he liked the guy and all and maybe another night he'd be down to take her out with them but not tonight. Jay wasn't letting either of them leave the apartment for at least the next two days. And to make sure Tess knew it he swung her into his arms, shooting her a wink when she let out another bright laugh.

At least the next two days.

It would be cheating.

If he nudged Mouse's stick with his own it would be cheating, though when his friend sank another two balls, the ones he'd been planning on going for, he regretted the decision to play fair. Especially because he knew he could've gotten away with it. And because Mouse gave him a shit eating grin in return.

"Fuck you."

"Cursing me doesn't make you better. You need to practice."

Jay flipped him the finger but he just laughed it off so he looked to Tess for some commiseration but she was too busy laughing at the both of them, though she did give him a belated and half-assed sympathetic smile.

He was beset on all sides.

But he wasn't a coward so he went in to take his next shot, which he sunk, this time giving Tess a wink to which she giggled, though that might've been the rum and Coke.

She was on her fourth.

She'd been home just over two weeks, and was supposed to have a whole month more, though he tried not to get his hopes up. Her schedule was undependable to say the least and he'd realized a while ago that he couldn't rely on how much time he got with her, he just had to soak up every moment that he did. Which unfortunately meant that he was too busy looking to see if she was watching that he missed his next shot, but that might've also had something to do with the slight pressure he'd felt from the back of his stick.

That mother fucker.

Tess's next laugh was louder, of course she saw right through them and they gave her twin grins in response, though he shot Mouse a separate look to say it was on. After close to a decade they knew each other's styles pretty well and though he'd rather take a bullet than admit it, especially to his face, his friend was better than him. By a small margin. A tiny, usually insignificant margin. Sometimes Tess played with them but usually she was content to sit on the sidelines and tonight Jay could tell that she wanted to watch, that she was soaking them in too, in being home. He understood that. Not the way she did, with the constant coming and going, having no space, no matter how small to make your own, to feel safe in. To be safe in. But he knew the pride and pressure that went with going off to fight, the relief and heartache that came with coming home and the excitement and dread that went with both.

It was why he worked so hard to take care of her while she was here. To make sure she got enough rest, enough pampering and stress relief, that she had someone to talk to and someone to make her talk- sometimes he found it funny how he was so good at doing that for her and so crap at doing it for himself but then it'd become apparent a long time ago that there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her.

And he wasn't the only one.

Their relationship was different but he knew Mouse would always look out for her too, that he always had, that he was right now.

That was why they both noticed something was wrong.

Between one glance and the next Tess had gone from being curled in her seat to sitting upright, a stoic but intense look on her face as she listened to whoever was on the other end of the phone pressed against her ear. Together they placed their cues down on the table, doing their best not to call attention to their little group as they hurried over to her. He didn't actually think they had much need for secrecy here but it was habit and anything that kept her safe was hard to break. Tess didn't react to their presence aside from a grateful flick of her eyes and a tightening of her mouth and they scooted closer in response, doing their best to glean as much as they could from her side of the conversation; she was speaking in Spanish, a language they both understood decently well, but not at her level. Jay was only catching every third or fourth word she spoke so quickly, but what he was getting wasn't good. She mostly listened but the few questions she did ask were short, information seeking, in that quiet but commanding tone he recognized from the few times they'd worked together.

He also recognized that whatever was going on, she was making it her business.

No one spoke until they made it back to the apartment, all of them tense but all of them trying to pretend they weren't.

Tess was going to leave.

Even if he hadn't been sitting next to her when she'd made the decision he would've known, not just from the determined tilt to her chin and the resolve in her eyes, which kept flicking away guiltily every time they met his, but because he knew her. Because he knew that she was incapable of standing by if someone was in trouble. Jay didn't like it, he loved her for it but he didn't always like it, but he accepted it. He had to. But that didn't mean he was going to stand idly by himself. And he was going to start with getting every bit of information out of her that he could.

And he wasn't the only one.

"What happened?"

"What's going on?"

The second the door closed behind them he and Mouse blurted out their questions but when Tess just barely held back a flinch he had to remind himself that this wasn't easy on her either. It wasn't like she wanted to leave. She just…

She felt a duty to.

How could he not understand that?

"That was a friend of mine from Cuba. Her brother and a few other men from their village were just taken, I'm pretty sure by drug smugglers. They only took skilled labourers so they clearly have plans for them, most likely working on their equipment, which means I'll have a good window to work with."

"And if they're set up somewhere then they won't be hard to find."

"Sweet. I've always wanted to go to Cuba."

She was already nodding to his statement when Mouse chimed in and in an instant her face went from resigned discomfort to outright horror, though she got a hold of herself quickly.

A little too quickly for his liking.

"You're not coming." She stated calmly, and though they didn't look at each other Jay knew his friend had noticed the change too, just like they both noted the next one when she let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders, her stance shifting from defensive to that casual confidence she was so good at.

But like her, like all of them, Mouse had never been one to back down from a challenge.

"Why not?" He asked stubbornly, but she no longer seemed bothered.

She seemed… smug.

"Why would you?"

"Because-"

"Because-"

Oh.

That was not a question they should answer. He hadn't even been the one she'd been asking so he definitely shouldn't have, it'd just slipped out because-

Because he was worried.

Because he wanted to protect her.

But she didn't need his protection. He was only assuming that she did because she was a girl.

Alright, that wasn't entirely true. If it was Mouse going off into a dangerous situation Jay would want to go with him, that was what you did for the people you loved, especially if you had the skillset to help, but he also knew he wouldn't be nearly as worried for his friend as he was for Tess. And that did come from her being a girl, being his girl. But he couldn't hold her back just because he was uncomfortable. He wouldn't, and though he still didn't let himself look at Mouse he knew his friend felt the same.

And because Tess knew them she knew what they were thinking and it must've helped to lessen her frustration because she let out another sigh, giving them a soft look as her head tilted to the right. "I appreciate the offer but this isn't any different from any other op-"

"It's unsanctioned." Mouse pointed out with a smirk, because they all knew that wasn't very different, and though everything in Jay wanted to start listing all the ways this could go wrong he held himself in check, mostly by focusing on the image of her crouched over Mullah's unconscious lieutenant, her grin as bright in his memory as it had been that night.

"She can handle it."

This time when her shoulders relaxed it was genuine, just like the love and appreciation that filled her face, and the humour when Mouse piped up again, not one to be ignored.

"For the record, I would like to go, but I will accept being technical support."

"I'll take that."

Oh thank fuck.

His friend gave her a conspiratorial grin and then him a steadying look, clearly they all spent way too much time together, and then he pecked her cheek before heading into the kitchen, Tess watching him go with a soft smile that turned guilty as soon as she looked back at him. It made his heart give such a sharp, painful tug that Jay quickly pulled her into his arms, holding her tight as he buried his face deep in her hair. He didn't want her to go. She'd only just gotten here, who knew how long it would be until she could come back? Her next op was only a few weeks away and her next leave might only be a few weeks after that, but it could also be a few months. He already saw her so little. The petty, jealous part of Jay wanted to ask her to stay but that thought only lasted for a couple seconds- there were people out there in danger and if she didn't help them no one else was going to. And if he didn't want their deaths on his conscience how could he ask that she put it on hers?

He may not want to let her go, but he had to.

"I can't wait to see what you bring back this time." He said quietly, taking in her sad but still teasing smile and the fingers that dug into his sides, pulling him closer until all he could see was the ocean in her eyes.

"I'm sure I can find something special."

"I can't wait to see it."