Chapter 7

Present Day

A soft thumping pulled her from her half sleep, not the warm, steady heartbeat she was used to but instead the distinct sound of a tiny, furred head butting against a door, over and over before being followed with a lonesome meow. She was already sitting up when a hissed whisper came from the hall, shortly followed by another loud meow.

"Mushu! Stop it!"

"It's okay, I'm awake." She called out, chuckling when the thumping resumed, louder and more insistent now the intruder knew she was awake.

At the first crack of the door Mushu darted in, straight onto the bed and into her lap where he flopped down, rolling onto his back for the belly rub that would invariably only last five minutes before he attacked her.

"Sorry."

Tess looked up from giving said belly rub, she had so many scars already it wasn't like she was afraid to get a few more, to see Ling shaking her head in the doorway, which turned into a resigned sigh when Misu strolled between her legs and jumped up beside her brother. "For this?"

Ling laughed and shook her head again, then pointed a firm finger at Mushu. "No. Biting. I'm going to start making breakfast- it should be ready in ten or fifteen minutes but take your time."

She responded with a thumbs up, which was instantly attacked by the dragon cat, who greatly resembled his Disney namesake, not so much in looks but definitely in attitude. He was a cutie, they both were, beautiful Siamese twins but Tess couldn't help the pang of homesickness that hit her, that hadn't really left since she'd first gotten on the plane to come here. They were adorable but they weren't her cats, this wasn't her bed and her Jay wasn't in it with her. She'd thought about inviting him to come along on this visit, it wasn't like she was expecting anything to go wrong and it was only a short one, just three days and today was the last, but in the end she'd decided against it, partly because he had work and she was loath to give Voight or Hailey any more reason to find issue with her sudden involvement in his life but also because… she just wasn't ready for that. Yet. And Jay hadn't been either. It had been obvious he'd wanted to offer to join her but he'd hesitated too, and then with that synchronicity they so often had they'd just looked at each other and smiled, the kiss that followed acting like a silent promise that one day he would come with her.

One day, just not today.

Today she was going home.

Not for a few hours but the excitement was already building, familiar nervous jitters that raced through her like an electrical current; no matter how long she'd been gone or what an op had been like coming home always gave her a certain feeling, and even though she had more than one now Chicago did and always would hold a special place in her heart. Those little butterflies stayed with her as she shooed the cats away and had a quick shower, though they calmed when she ate the omurice Ling had prepared, a delectable mix of the leftover rice and grilled chicken they'd had last night topped with a nice gooey omelet.

"I'm going to miss your cooking."

"Me too."

The two women shared a grin as Tess finished washing the dishes, a chore she still had to fight to do, and took a minute while she dried her hands to look her friend over. She seemed to be doing alright, definitely liking her new apartment, but that didn't mean the transition was easy. It was going to take a while until she really felt settled here, and she doubted she would ever stop missing her home, stop being angry at the forces that had led her to leave it.

Tess was angry about that too.

"I've still got a few hours before I have to be at the airport- is there anything else you need?"

"What else will you buy me?"

"Whatever you want."

Ling scoffed, not because she didn't believe her but because she knew Tess would, shaking her head before she rested it in her hands. "There isn't anything else I need; the apartment was already furnished and we got the few appliances they didn't have, new sheets, towels, plus you stocked my pantry and freezer for at least the next year and bought me a brand-new wardrobe."

"We could still-"

"No." For someone so soft-spoken the Asian woman could be remarkably firm when she wanted to. "Tess, I appreciate all you have done for me, more than I will ever know how to express but you are my friend. I am not your responsibility."

Well that wasn't true but it wasn't worth arguing over so she just nodded. "Well then my friend, how would you like to spend our last hours together?"

"Talking about your boyfriend." Ling's dramatic eyebrow wiggle had her shaking her head even as she laughed- three days later and she still wasn't tired of the subject.

So that was what they did. She regaled her friend with tales of everything that had happened in the last few months, a lot to cover, then moved onto discussing her prospective job opportunities; she already had two meetings with prominent news outlets lined up for next week. To be honest even though Tess was missing Jay it had been nice to spend these last couple days with Ling, showing her the CN Tower and the Royal Ontario museum, Ripley's Aquarium and as many of the best food spots as they'd been able to make it to, not to mention dragging her into every Tim Hortons they passed. She'd also introduced her to some friends, that community of political dissidents she'd told Jay about, although she hadn't mentioned that a few of them had also been relocated here by her.

A few others in Vancouver.

It wasn't like Tess just went around playing saviour, she just… she went to a lot of places and she met a lot of people and if someone was in trouble and there was something she could do then who was she not to? It never bothered her, she would help as many people as she could in whatever ways she could for as long as she could but… she shouldn't need to. She wasn't naïve, she knew how the world worked, had a better understanding of it than most people ever would but the injustice that had led those people and so many others to flee their homes, war and genocide, authoritarian, autocratic regimes, religious and ethnic persecution… It didn't ever end. And it was hard to believe it ever would. And that…

Fuck that made her angry.

So damn fucking angry her vision tinged red and the hard knot that was always in her stomach grew tighter, so much that for a moment she tuned out of what Ling was saying, only coming back when the other woman poked her in the arm to ask if she was alright. And she was. It wasn't her life that had been completely upended, at least not in any way she wasn't used to. And that wasn't something she needed to think about right now. Right now the only thing that mattered was having fun with her friend and then getting home to Jay. All the troubles of the world could wait.

At least for today.

She was getting better at waiting outside his precinct.

It wasn't like it happened all that often, less than a handful of times since she'd come back and probably only around a dozen in the five years before that but she was still getting better with every visit, less cagey with less of an urge to run. And that included when one of the patrolmen recognized her, although today she was trying to avoid that by hiding out in the park across the street.

Okay, hiding might be a strong word.

She didn't exactly know what was better, but that wasn't important. She wasn't going to be here much longer anyway- Jay was due to clock out any minute and with their case wrapped up and nothing imminent on the horizon he should actually be done on time.

Tess hadn't intended on making such a big fuss about this. She'd known she wasn't going to let him pick her up at the airport, that always seemed like asking for trouble but her plan had been to just get in, go home, and make dinner while she waited for him to get off work. But then Ling had suggested she surprise him and that had sounded so nice, so normal, that she'd decided to run with it. At first she'd still planned on waiting for him at home, in the bathtub with a bottle of wine and some carefully placed bubbles but she had no way, fine, no invasive way of knowing if he'd come straight home so she'd scrapped that plan.

Which led to where she was now.

After a couple more minutes, and yes, an alert that he was officially done, she headed to the back lot where the districts' officers parked their personal vehicles. It wasn't difficult to spot the Intelligence unit and for a moment she just watched them, taking in the well disguised but now ever-present awkwardness, Jay and Hailey as far apart as they could get while the others did their best to relieve the tension, though her attention stayed mostly focused on Kevin. She'd made sure to check in on the situation between him and Nolan over the last few days and as far as she'd been able to tell everything seemed handled. Tess didn't know exactly what had gone down, she was trying to respect everyone's privacy as much as she reasonably could, but she knew that after leaving their place he'd gone straight to Nolan's and whatever happened during the conversation that followed seemed to have gotten the Sergeant to back off. Just looking at the young officer she could see his back was straighter, chin taller, and it released some of her own tension knowing she'd been able to help him.

One problem solved.

She couldn't dwell too long on the others because Kim had noticed her, her new friend, the word making her both warm and squirm, immediately giving her a bright grin before nudging Adam who did the same. Soon everyone was staring at her, some looking less pleased than others but she tried to ignore that, focusing instead on Jay. He was the only one who hadn't noticed her, nor did it seem he noticed his friends trying to catch his attention. In fact it seemed like he was doing his best to slip away from them, at least until Adam decided to intervene; the other man bent down, picked up a small rock, and threw it right at the back of Jay's head. Her boyfriend stopped dead in his tracks, turning slowly to look at his teammate with a look she knew all too well- he'd given Mouse the same one countless times, usually right before they got into a tussle. Tess watched them go back and forth as she started making her way over, clearly Jay did not find the situation as amusing as the rest of them but then he paused and finally his gaze found hers.

Just like that he was moving, right through his team who had to quickly part to make way, just like she had to quickly mask the pang that sent through her heart, that this whole situation did. There was a part of her that wanted to run, mostly towards him, to jump in his arms the way she had so many times before and she could see that same urge in him too but they both held themselves back. This wasn't like before. It couldn't be. But that was okay. Because when he finally reached her and pulled her into a tight hug, a slightly subdued version of all their past epic reunions Tess didn't mind.

It might not be the same, but it felt just as good.

Granted when Jay's squeezing started to resemble a boa constrictors that wasn't quite as comfortable but he eased up as soon he noticed her trying to take a step back, shooting her a sheepish smile that sent another twinge through her. As adamant as he'd been that she go she'd known it wasn't going to be easy on him, and while it didn't look like it had been it also didn't look like it had been as difficult as she'd feared. He really did trust her.

She gave his fingers a soft squeeze as she stepped back, forever cognizant of Hailey standing just a few feet away, then smirked. "How's your head?"

"Ha!"

It was Kevin that laughed but Adam didn't hide his amusement any better, though she spotted a slight but definite fear of reprisal in his eyes as he took Kim's arm and started quickly walking backwards.

"Good to have you back! We'll see you at Molly's- twenty minutes!"

"No-"

"See you there!"

She held back a laugh as Jay sighed and looked down at her, already shaking his head in resignation. "Was your flight even delayed?"

"Yeah. By thirty minutes."

He huffed and shook his head again but there was a softness in his eyes, a lightness, that same one that turned on every time she came home. To be honest Tess wasn't all that interested in Molly's but for that look, for this old and new sense of normalcy she supposed an hour or two out with his friends wouldn't hurt.

"Makayla's lucky you two were the ones that found her."

"You know if it wasn't for Kim things could've turned out a lot worse. She really went to bat for the kid." Adam said with a soft look at his partner, the same kind Jay gave her when he was especially proud of her.

And even though the young woman waved the rest of her team off when they agreed Tess could see that she felt it too, that she was proud of the way she'd handled their latest case, of the way she'd protected their young victim. She could also see the attachment towards that little girl that she was trying so hard to brush off, to let go of the way they were meant to, and when it looked like she wasn't going to be successful made a mental note to keep track of the girl. She also made sure to catch Kim's eye, ignoring the subtle but piercing stares of Hailey and Vanessa so she could show her understanding, not just of the maternal bond they shared but of that inability to let things go that everyone at this table shared, if for different reasons.

You couldn't hold onto everything, not if you wanted to do the job well and not if you wanted to do it for long but everyone had their thing, usually a few, that they weren't able to let slide. Not if they wanted to do the job well and not if they wanted to do it for long. The mark of a truly great team was to find a cohesion that balanced it all out, without putting each other in undue danger. Intelligence was great at the support part, rock solid, but their tendency to keep things to themselves, and their leaders tendency to handle things himself meant they were shaky on the undue harm part and that could unravel even the strongest of families. She'd seen it happen.

Which reminded her she needed to check in with Voight.

She hadn't been able to tell if he'd been made aware of the situation with Nolan but she had promised to tell him whatever she could and considering this directly affected his unit she didn't think he'd appreciate her taking her time.

"Anyway, enough about work. What about you?" Kim asked, quickly and effectively pulling her out of her thoughts. "Jay said you were visiting a friend in Toronto?"

The man in question stiffened ever so slightly at her side but Tess just nodded. He'd told her on the way what he'd told them, not that there was much need for secrecy; she had no reason to lie, she just wasn't going to share the whole truth. "Yeah, she just moved there so I was helping her settle in, get acquainted with the city, all that jazz."

"Well that's nice of you. Where'd she move from?" Adam asked next, using his beer bottle to attempt to hide his crooked smile.

Apparently sometimes she 'really sounded Canadian'.

"Hong Kong."

"China? That's a big move."

The unasked question, Vanessa's of course, lingered in the air and normally Tess wouldn't mind answering it. Normally. Because normally the person asking wouldn't have just spent the last few weeks finding innocuous ways to ask her prying questions and normally she wouldn't have just relocated a friend halfway around the world to avoid their death or imprisonment. Well, maybe the latter happened kind of frequently. Relatively speaking. But not usually combined with the first and for a second that actually got her close to snapping.

But just for a second.

"It is distance wise, and obviously culturally speaking but most of the apartments there come furnished so she didn't have to bring a lot. And she's a freelance journalist, so she can work from anywhere."

"With all the new restrictions being imposed there it's probably a good thing she left when she did."

Jay kept his tone even, way more than she would have expected given the growing animosity between him and the Latina woman but his knee pressed firmly against hers, part in support and part in apology. But he hadn't said anything revealing, and nothing that wasn't true, and right now she appreciated the support more than she was worried about causing a scene.

"No doubt. All those protests there last summer? That shit was crazy. Makes me glad I'm a cop in Chicago."

Oh Adam. Tess knew he was trying to help but she almost had to physically bite her tongue, because on second thought she really didn't want to start anything, but as it turned out she was unnecessary.

Someone else had something to say.

"I don't know if we're much better." There was a solid beat of silence before everyone looked to Kevin but the man just shrugged. "What? It's true. During the George Floyd protests cops here were beating folks down all over the place."

"Yeah but that's different."

"How so?" Vanessa questioned Adam, significantly more fired up this time, though her temper seemed to cool when her partner interjected, calmly but with such easy confidence that this time Tess really did have to bite her tongue.

"Our government doesn't operate the way China's does."

She should not get involved in this. This team was already dealing with some serious fault lines and she didn't need to make them any worse, but… if she said nothing…

She'd be letting Ling down.

And Kevin and Vanessa and everyone who looked like them who'd been silenced by people who looked like her for far too long.

"Yeah, for now."

Well shit.

No one seemed to have expected that from Kim but like Kevin had the brunette officer just shrugged, though the tension around the table was clearly rising. "All those abortion bans down south? That's about as restrictive as it gets. And whether they like it or not, cops are having to enforce it."

"Yeah, cause it's our job to enforce the law."

"And when the law is wrong?" Kevin countered, something that looked suspiciously close to betrayal glinting in his eyes when he looked at his former partner.

Fucking hell.

This had devolved quickly.

She and Jay shared a look, which thankfully wasn't noticed amongst all the others being tossed around. It didn't seem like anyone was backing down, and it also didn't seem like any of them understood where this was coming from, but it was clear someone needed to do something. And based on the way Jay raised his brow it was clear he thought she was the best person for the job.

And truthfully, wasn't she?

"Then we change the laws." She said firmly enough to catch everyone's attention, keeping her face solemn even as she brought a mischievous gleam into her eyes. "Through activism and civil disobedience and the complete dismantling of the cis white supremacist patriarchy."

"Oh, is that all?" Kim asked but the tightness in her voice was tinged with humour, and when she bumped her leg against Adam's he huffed out a breath and dipped his chin to Kevin, who after a moment's hesitation returned it, and just like that the pressure in the air was halved.

"Oh yeah, super easy." Jay chimed in and the breezy but steady authority in his voice had the other men relaxing even further. "Don't you know how valuable our opinions are to the rich and elite?"

"Okay, easy there Papa Halstead."

The others laughed while he made a face at her, but apparently not everyone found the joke funny.

"You don't get to say that to him."