Her laugh could be heard across the forest tonight. No matter the hardships of the world, this was our space. The only space where we could be true to ourselves. We met in the woods years ago, both starving and looking for something more. We shared our stories, our troubles, but most of all our dreams. Neither of us thought we could go on until we made that silly pact. Amid childhood trauma, we added another misfit to our chosen families. No matter the season we would protect each other until our dream blossomed into the brightest stars. Underneath the night sky, we swore to always protect each other's dreams because it was the only thing that forced us to continue in life.
I quickly turned towards the sound of her laugh and found her staring into the forest with a wistful look on her face. I seldom see this expression on her face, which makes a grin spread across mine. "Fae, my dear, you look in good spirits." She turns to me and I see the world come crashing back onto her shoulders. "Annalise, can you stop with that ridiculous name. I don't have time for your games." My smile stays on my face because I know that she needs someone to clear her burdens, if only for a moment of peace.
"My dear Fae, you wound my soul," I say in a posh voice to mimic her older sister, who despite poverty still looks down on those below her. "How dare you dismiss your best friend in such a manner? What would dear mommy say?" She shakes her head, but I see the tiniest hint of a smirk forming on her face. She usually has her devious nature hidden, but the hunter in her spirit comes out to play often when we are in the woods.
"You know as well as I do, that my mom would have no words to say considering she is dead." Feyre barks back, but the smile is still there. I laugh out loud before dropping my sack of goodies. "I made something for you today my friend!" I say with a smile knowing she will refuse any gift I would have tried to buy her. Feyre is too proud of her good. I pull out three little glass spice jars I found about to be discarded. When I saw these beauties I knew what I had to do.
All-day long I have been foraging in the forest to find the right shades to make her a gift. While she finds peace and relaxation in art, I find it in nature. My body forgets about what awaits me back in the village when I am out exploring. There are so many different types of plants in these woods. Currently, with it being winter, most plants have no pigment. The bright colors that appear during the spring are something that I long to see in these bleak months. However, I love the challenge of making shades with what I find. I made three different colors for her to use. Each one is unique and special.
I know Feyre misses the surplus that she used to have growing up, but I know the little things from the heart are what matters most to her. I see the joy bloom on her face as I hand her the shades of sage, plum, and magenta. They are rare colors to buy, and I spent hours experimenting with plants and berries creating the correct hues. My fingers are numb and stained in multiple colors. However, it was all worth it when I saw the true smile that appeared on her face. "Anna! Where did you find these?" Even with her pride, I knew she could not resist the paint.
"Oh, these things? I was preparing to throw them away. Why would you like them?" I tease and watch as she snatches them from my hands. She quickly runs back into her hut on the edge of the woods and puts them away from where her sisters can find them. She sprints back out and as we walk back into the forest with a singular goal in mind she gives me a quick fleeting hug before we grab our weapons and transform into something we both never thought we could be, killers.
We are silent as we make our way through the forest. The winter chill struck with relentless vigor. Every night is the same fight for survival. As we trudge through the frozen mud we encounter something so pure that I hesitate to lift my daggers. A young doe, innocent and careless. Unknowingly prey to two women who wish they could be the same again. Innocent. Careless. A dream that can no longer be achieved. With the crushing revelation, I lifted my dagger to strike. However, like everything in my life nothing can go as planned as my dagger lined up with the doe a wolf-like no other steps into view. The innocent becomes frightened and flees, but not before an arrow flies through the air and hits the mark. Without hesitation, I throw my two daggers into the eyes of the doe. Innocence leaves and only two killers stand.
"Feyre I need you to promise me something," I whisper into the silence. I get no reply, but I knew she heard me. "You stay where you are while I make sure it is dead. That is no ordinary wolf. I pray to the Gods that they are not watching right now." I quickly take three large bounds over to the animal. You can hear the whimpering coming from him softly. It seemed like he was in a lifetime of pain, but not from the arrow that struck true. I slowly reached out and stroked his fur as if moving without thought. "Shh," I whisper "You are not going to die alone." I could see the relief in his eyes as if he finally found peace. His heart was still strong, but with each passing moment, it weakened. I pulled his head into my lap and plunged my dagger into his heart. Ending his suffering, but starting my own in an instant.
The silence of the forest turned sickeningly thick. I didn't even hear Feyre as she approached. She grabbed my shoulders and slowly whipped my face. I didn't even realize I started to cry. "I don't know what you think just happened, but you must forget it. As soon as you leave these woods the story is that we found a wolf. A plain wolf. Nothing more. Nothing less. Do you understand Annalise? We can't afford to let our emotions ruin this moment. This beast will feed my family for months. The doe will be your prize." I nod and look down at the dead beast. My knife is still in its heart. I quickly removed the dagger and wipe it on my pants. I pull Feyre's arrow from his eye and slowly close them. As I stagger to my feet, I look at Feyre and nod. However, my heart slowly cracked and I had no idea why. We lift the corpses and start our journey back to reality.
I help Feyre bring in the wolf and slowly make my way back to my own house. I quickly clean my catch and start the process of preserving the meat. If only I knew that I would never see my shining Fae again.
I take the next day to lay low. My heart feels strange. I can't explain it. I keep looking at my wood ceiling and starting at the bright blue sky that peaks through the small holes in my roof. I can't get the peaceful look on the wolf's face out of my head. Why did it look at me like I was the answer he was looking for?
For the rest of the day, I stayed in my room. I didn't even realize how cold I was until I stood up and finally felt how weak my body was. I started to make my way to Feyre's house. I needed to find some closure about the events last night. However, as I approached the small cottage I saw something that made my blood run cold. The pale moonlight illuminated the broken door barely hanging on the hinges. I raced to the door and without care, for myself, I began to search for my sister. Where was she? I could hear loud sniffling from the back room. I approached the bedroom and found the Archeron family in shambles. No matter how long I searched I could not find her blue eyes. "Where is she?" I demanded. I am breathless, but the response takes away every ounce of air I have.
"She was taken by a monster all because of you. If you never existed she would have never taken the fall for something that was your fault. He came for the person who killed one of his own. My selfless sister took your spot. I know you killed that wolf, and now she is all but dead because of you." Nesta spat. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I quickly turned around and sprinted after a shattered dream of a family that promised to never leave me alone.
No matter how hard I searched I could not find her. After days I made my way back to the house that was once a sanctuary. What I found however was an empty shell of a home that never held any love. The town talked about the rich aunt that took pity on the Archeron family. A family that seemed to forget about the sacrifice she gave. I made a vow that day. I will never forget the girl who sacrificed everything. My dreams will never come true, so I will live solely to achieve hers.