"Fixed-as pert and pretty as before." I heard someone say. I start to slowly come to, but just like yesterday, I am met with pure darkness.
I start to feel around, but all I feel is the cold damp ground. And with a sense of understanding, I know exactly where I am. I have been in this cell for the last three weeks.
"Hello?" I say. "Feyre? Are you still here?" I feel her before I hear her. Her small arms surround my body and we are both sobbing in each other arms.
"Feyre are you okay? Are you hurt?" I grab her face and try to feel for any injuries. In this moment more than anything I wish I had my eyesight back.
"I am okay Anna. Lucien fixed me right up. Maybe he can heal you too." She says with such hope that I have long since given up on her.
"No. He needs to save his strength to save you, Fae. You are the one she is set to break now." I say and tighten my grip on her hands.
"So," a deep voice says "you are the Annalise that Feyre would tell me about during our walks around the gardens."
I stiffen not knowing if I could trust this stranger. Instead of offering an answer I simply nodded.
"What did they do to you, Anna?' Feyre demands.
"You don't want to know Feyre, and I hope you never find out," I say hoping that Lucien understands that I don't want Feyre to know the horrors that I have been subjected to in the last couple of weeks.
Feyre doesn't comment, but simply holds me. Lucien quickly leaves as I hear the new guard come down the hall. I relax as much as I can knowing that Feyre is with me once again.
As I hear the disappearing footsteps going down the hall I ask Feyre about her time in the Spring Court.
She tells me of her deep feelings for Tamlin, and I can't help the sting that strikes my heart. I keep silent as she shares the beauty of the Spring Court. The beautiful colors and the new friendships she has made.
No matter the feeling in my heart right now, I will never take away the wonder in her voice. I can tell she loves Tamlin, and with that, I push down the strange feeling in my chest.
I keep quiet about the strange golden glow that is always around him. If Feyre is happy, then that is all I can ask for.
We talk quietly throughout the night, and I savor the feeling of comfort because I know that in the morning the peace will disappear into the darkness.
When I wake up Feyre is nowhere to be found. I bang on the cell doors, but nobody hears my screams. For what feels like hours I am alone in the darkness. I have never felt so alone. I have never felt so useless.
Soon a guard shows up at the door, and I lock my mind away into that darkness. I could not think about what was going to come. My body feels the pain, torment, and brutality. However, my mind is dreaming of the bright colors of Spring that Feyre described in such detail last night.
When Feyre is shoved back into the cell, I stay quiet and comfort her in the only way I knew how. I grab her face and lightly trace a heart on her cheek. No matter what happens under this mountain, she will always be my sister. My chosen family.
Feyre mutters in her sleep that night.
"There are those who seek me a lifetime but never we meet,
And those I kiss but who trample me beneath ungrateful feet.
At times I seem to favor the clever and the fair,
But I bless all those who are brave enough to dare.
By large, my ministrations are soft-handed and sweet,
But scorned, I become a difficult beast to defeat.
For though each of my strikes lands a powerful blow,
When I kill, I do it slow …"
I fall asleep that night dreaming of the golden man and green eyes that would never be mine. Love. I wish I could feel it from a man before I die, but I know it will never come.