Drip, Drip, Drop
Pelting the rooftop, pitter pat patter,
Rain drizzles softly, the droplets gather,
Swoosh down silently, drip and splatter.
The roof is leaking again.
Cunning Colonel Hogan takes it up with Klink.
Fix the roof! A dozen holes! Don't be a fink!
Splish, splash, still more rain, quite enough to drink!
Our bunks are damp. The whole darn camp is ready to sink.
The roof is leaking again.
Irritated Colonel Klink, otherwise engaged,
Doesn't give a tinker's dam if Hogan is enraged.
Go away! My horoscope has told me what's presaged.
Do not be a pest to me. Repairs are not your destiny.
Colonel Hogan, use your brain. Your demands are all in vain.
Roofs will only leak again.
Don't bother me again.
A most unusual vehicle roars into the yard.
It's not a tank. It's covered up and flanked by armored guards.
Hogan soon determines it's an anti-radar shield.
That's bad news, but Germany will never make us yield.
Urgently, Hogan orders, we've got work to do.
Destroy another chance for a Nazi breakthrough.
We're in business, rain or shine.
Aggravated Frenchman, grumble, grouse, growl,
Cannot concentrate and wears a scowl.
How is a man to sleep through drip, drip, drop?
Another leak, above my bunk – This must stop!
I'll patch the roof myself.
Gather tools, slip on poncho, where did that come from?
Never mind! I'm going up, since no one else will come.
A most unhelpful Englishman who's used to being drenched
Mutters underneath his breath about the ruddy French.
He's got a bright idea that I could really live without:
"Get the bellboys, get your bags, say you're checking out."
Shoot him a look that says exactly what I think.
He grins. He knows I've had enough. I'm on the brink.
I'll patch the roof myself.
Door slams. Two eyes follow LeBeau.
Newkirk thinks, He's twice as tough as any man I know.
Fiery, a bit headstrong, not always very wise.
He never learned the meaning of the word "compromise."
He'll do the job, determined chap, he's made of rawhide.
Wait… was that a thunderclap? I'm running outside!
My little mate slipped off the roof.
Check for broken bones… amazingly, he's fine.
But Hogan gets a smart idea. Oh, what a fevered mind.
LeBeau is a fortune teller, blessed with ESP.
And not only that – he's a bona fide Gypsy!
Allied forces on the way, LeBeau says in a trance.
He foresees promotion, Klink's chance to advance,
If Klink would only move his guards to the front gate
And fight off attackers who lie in wait.
That's Newkirk, actually, holding all the cards,
Tossing bombs casually, while Carter and Baker cleverly
Reduce the truck to shards.
And Hogan wins again.
Fake battle, stolen goods, exploding truck.
It took a bit of planning and a lot of luck.
Another fine mission, one for the books.
LeBeau returns to his bunk and up he looks.
The roof is still leaking. Drip, drip, drop.
He shrugs. Perhaps tomorrow he'll finally make it stop.
At least the rain has ended.
Based on "The Gypsy," Season 6, Episode 13