Chapter fifteen: Back to Hogwarts

Everything had been strange about going back to Hogwarts when you're nineteen. Feeling jittery and worked up, Alicia had a hard time controlling her emotions as she boarded the Hogwarts Express. Students were given her odd glances as she walked down the train to find an empty cabin. She was a stranger to the system now; not a student and not quite a teacher. She could almost see the question behind the raised eyebrows: 'What is a nineteen-year-old rough looking girl doing on her way to school?' Honestly Alicia didn't feel nineteen. She had often felt like an older soul in a young body. Especially when it came to love and relationships.

In the end she settled for a carriage with Professor Burbage, the Muggle Studies teacher. The other witch had always preferred the train to travelling by other magical means. When she said: 'Oh well, you should call me Charity now!' Alicia realised she was now expected to call all teachers by their first names. But Filius, Pomona and definitely Minerva just sounded wrong. That would take getting used to.

Professor Burbage was also a good target to test her new roleplay persona on. She needed to be more stick-up-the-ass and prejudiced than she really was. It seemed to convince Charity, which was a good start.

While Charity was listing off different flavours of pudding she hoped would be at the banquet, Alicia stared out of the window of the horseless carriage – she knew that thestrals were used to pull them, but it was hard to envision when they were invisible to her. Her eyes roamed over the view. The water of the lake lied still and looked like a smudge of black ink over the landscape. The only disturbance came from the flock of small boats with the first-years in them. The lantern light glittered in their reflections. Then Alicia's eyes travelled up to look at the impossibly beautiful castle. When she had left school two years ago, she hadn't expected to see this view again. But here she was once more, enjoying one of the most indescribably unique events the wizarding world had to offer.

When she reached the castle Professor Flitwick was the first to welcome her.

'Alicia! How wonderful to see you again. I will lead you to your office quickly before we go to the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony. How have you been?' he said cheerfully. He attempted to take one of her bags but it ended up dragging over the floor.

'Oh I've been well, thank you. I had an eventful year. You, professor?' she said back with a smile. Sure she needed to act a bit. However she didn't have to stop being nice altogether.

Filius sighed. 'Everything was fine, until the end of last year of course. I wonder how things will change now. We shall see.'

'So we shall,' Alicia muttered. Filius led her up some stairs to the part of the castle where Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were given. They stood in a hall that looked like the beginning of a tower.

Alicia stared up at the ceiling, high above her. 'I don't think I've been here before. And I always praised myself for strolling through every hall.'

Filius laughed as he went up the spiral staircase. 'You know how the castle changes, right? This tower appeared just after Albus told us about your arrival. A coincidence we took for granted. The tower is yours.'

Alicia looked impressed. 'Why thank you Hogwarts.'

The door at the top opened and led into a round room. The backside of the room was all glass, with the most stunning view over the castle she had ever seen. They were quite high up, so no one could be looking into the room. Perfect for privacy, Alicia realised. Did the castle just…

To her right was a massive fireplace with an arrangement of comfortable chairs around it. Hanging from the wall were little domes, like cages for small creatures. In front of the windows stood a large wooden desk with a comfortable looking chair. Alicia stepped further into the room and found a door next to the fireplace, a bit obscured at first glance. She opened the door and found herself standing in a bedroom a bit smaller than the office. Another door led to the bathroom.

'Wow,' Alicia breathed as she looked around the stunning room. 'It's quite something.'

'It really is,' Filius said, sounding almost a bit jealous. 'A fitting chamber for our new professor.'

She giggled. 'Thank you.'

Charles barked at the door and did a little walk around the room, sniffing everything. Filius looked a bit alarmed at its size. 'Maybe he can stay here, while we go down.'

'Charles doesn't do well without me. He will not be a nuisance, I promise. He listens very well and sheds no hair,' Alicia said as she scratched the creature. That last part was true. Because his true form didn't have fur, the dog version wasn't shedding hairs everywhere. It was a wonderful addition to a wonderful creature.

'Very well then. Let's go down Alicia,' he said, hand on the door.

'Alright professor.'

'Uhm, you can call me Filius now.'

Walking through the Great Hall did special things to Alicia. The room was already crowded with excited students, apart from the first years who were still waiting outside. Filius walked along the side of the four huge house tables, to attract as little attention as possible. The unease she had felt before was turning into panic now. Soon people would be looking at her…

As she neared the High table, there was a variety of expressions on the professors faces. Some were happy to see her, some seemed indifferent. Some gave her questioning looks; probably wondering how qualified she could be. Then there was Dumbledore, whose eyes were sparkling as he saw her, but said nothing for now. Also present and currently looking just past her as if he couldn't bear to look at her, was Severus Snape. Alicia felt a lump in her throat.

Next to Snape was a witch she had never seen before. It was hard to miss her, since she was dressed in bright pink witches robes. She wasn't a very pretty woman, but not extremely ugly either. However, the smile on her face was the most acid, cunning smile she had ever seen. At once Alicia felt her remaining courage dissapear and almost stopped smiling, but reminded herself that this witch was watching everything with a magnifying glass. Time to act.

'Welcome, Professor Doreen,' Albus Dumbledore said at last, acknowledging her in a simple, detached way. It was the first time she had been called Professor Doreen. The sound of it made her laugh tensely.

'Hello Headmaster. Thank you for giving me this opportunity,' she said back. He smiled and turned his attention to Minerva.

Alicia sat down next to the pink witch. At once she was looking at her, and Alicia decided to start politely. 'Hello. I'm Alicia Doreen. New this year,' she said as she offered her hand.

The witch had a calculating look in her eyes. 'Hello dear. I'm Dolores Umbridge. If you don't mind me saying so, aren't you a bit young to teach? For a moment there I thought you were a student that forgot to put the right robes on!' she ended her little joke with a high-pitched laugh. It made Alicia's insides turn.

She exhaled shakily. 'Oh well, I can't really pretend to be older than I am. But I have been studying my subject ever since I left school. I would have preferred to have a mentor of sorts, but they didn't offer one,' she finished in a whisper. Then she glanced quickly at Dumbledore. 'I might not have agreed with their choice, but I will do everything in my power to teach the students what they need to know to pass their exams.'

This seemed to be a good start. The scrutinizing look dissipated slightly. 'Oh I don't suppose that is your fault then. What do you teach?'

'Care of Magical Creatures,' Alicia stated proudly. 'I've had my fair share of experience with the dangers of them. I am going to make sure these students will stay far away from dangerous creatures.'

'Well that explains your…rough physique then. Tell me, do you believe it is really important to teach students to care for beasts?' she asked as pleasantly as if she had asked about the weather instead of insulting her in multiple ways.

You didn't make it easy, Dumbledore. 'Oh sure I think every beast can be tamed, but only by professionals. At least it is good for the students to be aware of the dangers they could face, won't you agree?' Alicia said with honey lacing her voice.

'I suppose,' she said quietly. Luckily Alicia was saved then by Dumbledore asking for attention.

During the sorting of the first years she allowed her eyes to travel around. There were a lot of new faces, but also faces she used to know but looked very different now. Still, it was going to be awkward. She had tutored, played games, laughed and joked with many people that were now her students. People that suddenly had to call her Professor Doreen.

She scanned the Gryffindor table, and finally found Harry, surrounded by multiple red-headed kids. Right as she looked at them, Fred spotted her. His eyes grew big, then he poked his brother. George looked too. Alicia gave them a small smile. Then Harry noticed their behaviour and was looking too. Soon, all the Weasleys present, Harry and Hermione were looking at her. With a little blush she winked at them and averted her eyes to the ceremony.

Even though she wasn't looking at her friends anymore, she could feel their eyes burning a hole in her head. They were probably wondering what the bloody hell she was doing there at the High table and why she hadn't said anything.

Dumbledore didn't feel like giving a speech before dinner. He kept it rather short so they could all eat. During the meal, Alicia preferred to talk to the other person sitting next to her, Pomona Sprout, the Herbology teacher. They had a pleasant conversation about their upcoming curriculums, which Alicia was sure Umbridge was trying to listen to. Alicia made sure to make it sound like most of the classes would be held in a theoretical way.

After the plates had been cleared Dumbledore rose again. He started off by saying that the forest was forbidden for all students, which made Alicia smile. Then the usual reminder that Argus Filch had given him, then the part Alicia started to feel anxious about.

'We have two changes in staff this year. Firstly we welcome Professor Alicia Doreen as our temporary Care of Magical Creatures Professor, in the absence of Professor Hagrid.'

The staff clapped, the students followed. But it was uncertain and confused clapping. Alicia did an awkward little bow quite similar to the one she had seen Remus do when he was introduced two years ago. Even though she wasn't looking anyone in the eye, it was clear there was more than enough rumour going around. She also heard the word 'Nessie' resurface a couple of times.

'Next we welcome Professor Dolores Umbridge, who is our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher,' Dumbledore announced. The applause was polite, but not enthusiastic. Whereas people had ideas about Alicia, no one knew this new person, wrapped in her pink clothes.

'The Quidditch try-outs will be held…' Dumbledore went on, but stopped as he, as well as Alicia, noticed that Professor Umbridge had stood up. She was not much taller standing than sitting, so it took a moment for everyone to notice her. Umbridge cleared her throat, clearly intending to give a speech. In all her years, Alicia had never seen a teacher give a speech, let alone interrupt Dumbledore. The other teachers seemed even more shocked than she was. Clearly, this had never happened before.

The witch launched into a speech about progress, preserving tradition, a lot of other crap that only meant one thing: Dumbledore was right in thinking that she was here to change things. The little woman with her sweet appearance and high-pitched voice was suddenly starting to seem terrifying. How much could she change? How far would she go? Was Dumbledore right in thinking it would be hard to keep her job?

When she finally stopped talking, Dumbledore clapped. Alicia made sure to clap too, much more enthusiastically than the other teachers. Umbridge sat down again and was noticing Alicia's smile.

Dumbledore continued quickly so they could be done for the evening. A lot of students were looking drowsy after that speech. Once the Headmaster was done, everyone started moving around. The teachers too, got out of their seats.

'Hello Alicia,' said a familiar voice. She turned to see Professor McGonagall, still looking a bit confused after everything that had happened. 'How wonderful to see you again. How was your time with the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary?'

'Hello Professor McGonagall! Oh I know I need to use first names now, but it will take some time to adjust to that,' Alicia said with a little laugh. 'Romania was wonderful. I'm still missing it.'

Minerva didn't seem to mind that she needed some time. 'I was wondering about that. When Albus said you were coming here…I wondered why you would give up your work there.'

That was an excellent question. Why hadn't she thought this through more? She was an idiot. She had spent her time making up classes and learning to lie convincingly. But she hadn't stopped to think about the first question people would ask her: why are you here?

'I'm not so much giving it up,' Alicia started. She looked around nervously until she saw the huge chair that was usually there for Hagrid. With a smile she said: 'But Hagrid asked me to take over for a bit. He has done so much for me, I couldn't let him down.'

That seemed like a logical answer to both of them. 'Oh well, that sounds good then. I understand all of this might be overwhelming for you. If you have any questions, my door is always open.'

Alicia smiled. 'Thank you pro-uhm…Minerva. I'll keep that in mind.'

She had a couple of conversations and quick greetings like this. The most interesting interaction she had was with Madame Pomfrey, whose eyes were big and alert as she watched Alicia. She shook her head and did something like a quick prayer. Alicia smiled, thinking back on the last day she had seen her. The former Ravenclaw had promised not to return to the Hospital Wing. A promise that might be hard to keep for the woman who kept injuring herself.

Fatigue suddenly overwhelmed her. She longed to lie down in her bed. Charles followed her closely. For a moment she was worried how he would react to crowds of people, but he seemed quite calm. His endless eyes were fixated on Alicia. Like there was nothing in this world except her.

After a polite amount of time, Alicia slipped away. The tower that was hers was in a quiet corner, far away from the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor towers. She and Charles climbed the steps to her office. Once she was inside and had closed the door she leaned against it with a sigh. She felt so tired. Emotionally exhausted. And she hadn't even done any teaching yet.

This was going to be a lot harder than she thought.