Disclaimer: I don't own Mario.
"Marioooooooo!"
Princess Peach screamed the name of her hero at the top of her lungs. She was desperate for him to come to her rescue. The young princess was being held captive once again. She had not been taken hostage by her usual kidnapper, but by someone else who was just as big, just as menacing, just as ruthless - and just as downright hideous!
Instead of being in the scaly clutches of Bowser, Peach was in his hairy grasp of Donkey Kong.
"Save me, Mario!" Peach cried. "Save me!"
DK sneered. He was enjoying listening to the terrified squeals coming from the princess he had captured. The humongous chip kept his large arm wound firmly around Peach. He was going to enjoy having her as his prisoner.
First, however, he was going to have to deal with the little pest who was coming to rescue her.
"Hang on, Peach! I'm-a coming to save you!"
Mario was making his way hastily up towards the ledge where DK was clutching Peach. The Italian plumber was making his way hastily up the wooden paths, leaping across platforms to navigate his way to his primate opponent.
Having saved Peach from Bowser countless times, Mario was confident he could easily rescue her from Donkey Kong.
"Unhand that princess, you overgrown hairball!" Mario shouted as he neared where the large ape stood. "It's-a me, Mario, that you want! Come on down here and put your fists up! I can take you own, you a-hideous chump of a chimp-"
Mario suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. His insults halted in his throat as his eyes widened in horror.
With Peach still gripped under one of his arms, DK was using another to lift a large barrel over his head. The ape sneered as he took aim at Mario. He was an expert at using what he had armed himself with as a weapon. He would easily be able to deal with this pesky little plumber in no time.
With all his strength gathered, DK hurled the barrel down as hard as he could - straight towards Mario.
"AYE AYE AYE!"
Mario howled loudly as he was struck by the barrel Donkey Kong had thrown at him. The moustached hero was thrown off his feet and high into the air. He yelped in alarm as he fell back downwards - before landing face down in the barrel, getting himself stuck inside it as it rolled down the wooden path and platforms up which he had climbed.
"Mariooooo!"
Peach let out a shriek for dismay when she saw what had happened to her hero. She turned to send her shocked look towards DK - to see a smug smile on his face over what he just did to Mario.
With all her terror subsiding to be replaced by burning rage, Peach proceeded to wipe the smirk off DK's face - by proceeding to whack him on the head with her umbrella.
"Take that, you big bully baboon!" Peach hollered as she brutally assaulted her kidnapper. "And that! And that! And that and that and that!"
DK grunted and groaned as his captive stuck him repeatedly. Peach was whacking him black and blue with her brolly. The villainous chimp was really feeling the pain from the normally-gentle princess. He had made a big mistake by attacking her hero in front of him.
"And take this too, Banana Breath!"
Peach ceased her blows with the umbrella to deliver one final attack to her kidnapper. She pulled out a banana and squeezed it tightly in both her hands, causing it to shoot out of the skin - to splat in the great ape's face.
DK hollered out as he was blinded by what was usually his favourite food. He released his hold on Peach to try to clear his eyes - only to stumble backwards and fall off the other side of the ledge. Down went the defeated giant monkey, landing with a large splash in the river below.
With a satisfied smile, Peach opened up her umbrella before leaping from where DK had been clutching her. The princess used her brolly to float gently down to the jungle floor. It didn't take her long to feel her feet touch the ground as she landed right next to where Mario had rolled to a stop - still stuck inside the barrel.
"Mario?" Peach exclaimed, bewilderment crossing her face at the predicament her hero was in. "Are you okay?"
Inside the barrel, Mario grunted, licking his legs outside in an unsuccessful attempt to free himself. "Get-a me outta here!"
Peach sighed with a shake of her head. She reached down and took hold of the overweight plumber's ankles, trying in vain to pull him free from the barrel Donkey Kong had trapped him inside face-down.
"Don't worry, Mario! I'll get you out of there!" Peach assured him uncertainly. "Somehow…"
"Mamma Mia…" Mario sighed inside the barrel.
The end.