July 7th 2014
Beardo has been flying in the sky hurtling towards land right across Pahkitew Island
As Beardo was approaching the land, he was making a sound effect noise of a plane going down
Eventually he lands and makes a crash sound effect
Beardo was completely fine though and sustained no injuries from that fall. Because he landed in a body of water
The body of water had a fountain, which was the first thing Beardo recognized and he was getting up.
The next thing Beardo recognized was a rose garden right around the fountain
When Beardo sat completely up, he saw a bunch of people behind a gate snapping pictures of him, and some recording him
Beardo spoke but no one could hear what he was saying. He said "Why are you guys snapping pictures? Can someone help me up or something?"
But Beardo then looked behind him and realized they weren't snapping pictures of him, they were snapping pictures of what was behind him.
Behind him, was a major building, something important to an entire country, it was The White House of America!
Woah! I was blasted all the way to America and landed right at the President's residence! That is cool! But I'm not going to stand here and admire it, because the current President residing in The White House is terrible! Everything under him is expensive and he's causing people to lose their health insurance because of his terrible insurance plan! I forget what his name is. Isn't it Oh bomb uh? He has like 3 last names! That means trouble!
Finally a woman gets into the gate and helps Beardo up
Sir, are you alright?
Normally, Beardo is too shy to speak and would just make a sound effect. But because of the situation Beardo was in, he could actually talk
"Yeah I'm alright" he said. "Thanks for asking and helping"
The woman responded, "I hope it's not an invasion of privacy for me to ask you this, but how did you end up falling into The White House?
Beardo said, "Well, I was competing on Total Drama, the newest Season, and I was just eliminated, so I got blasted out of the Cannon of Shame, and I ended up here"
She said back, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, I've watched that show, and the host behind that show is an asshole. I watched one of the episodes of their All Stars season last year and the host was so insufferable, I had to turn the show off."
Beardo responded with, "Yeah I hear you, I guess having problems like social awkwardness are only disadvantages to the show."
The woman replied "Well you seem to be talking just fine to me."
Beardo said "Well that's probably because of the circumstances we are in right now. On the show, I had the problem of being too shy to talk, so I just kept making sound effects. I guess that annoyed everyone, and they ended up voting me out."
The woman responded with "Well, I am actually a professional in speech therapy. If you want in for the next date, give us a call. Let me give you our card"
Beardo takes the card and reads it. When glares at the date. "July 11th 2025? That's 11 years away!"
The woman says, "What do you mean? It's only 4 days away."
Beardo responds, "Well yeah the date is, but it's 2014 and this paper says 2025."
The woman giggles to herself. "Did you hit your head when you landed? It's 2025."
Beardo says, "If it's really 2025, then I must have been launched from the cannon flying so fast that I went through space and time and ended up 11 years into the future. But if it's 2025, that means Oh Bomb Uh, is long out of office. Who's in the Whitehouse now?"
Suddenly a tank bursts through the gate and an army tank rolls in. It scares everyone including the woman talking to Beardo off. Beardo looks around and sees he's surrounded by tanks and there is no way out. So he decided he had no choice but to go into the Whitehouse.
Beardo says "If the President knows I'm in here for a good reason, maybe he won't have security drag me out."
Suddenly he sees soldiers moving up the stairs. Beardo realizes this might be an attack on the Whitehouse by a military from another country! He decides he needs to reach the President's office before the military does.
He gets into the elevator, and when it opens up, he's in front of the President's office and he sees a horrifying site. He sees a man held hostage by two soldiers and someone staring at them, while the other soldiers are hoisting out belongings.
He hears the man staring at the soldiers say, "Good work soldiers, now keep him pinned until every last one of his belongings is tossed out of this Whitehouse! We know he can't possibly win a fight by resisting. He leans in closer to the man held hostage. "Because there's only one of him, and several of you guys"
Beardo hears the guy held hostage say, "You won't get away with this! When Jared and Ivanka find out, you'll be stopped!"
The man staring responds, "Oh, they've been arrested! We started our 352nd investigation on your family and while what we did in this one was slightly illegal, we successfully found something to indict them with. You've got nobody."
The person held hostage says, "Obama, you bastard!"
Beardo couldn't stand there anymore and listen, he decided he had to intervene.
He goes into the President's office and says, "Hey! What's going on here?"
The man staring at the man held hostage turns towards Beardo. And Beardo sees who it is. It's Barack Obama.
Obama says, "Who are you? And how did you manage to get into my office?"
Beardo responds, "I was cornered by a bunch of tanks and ended up here! And how are you still President? Your 2 terms were up a long time ago!"
Obama cocks his head sideways. "I'd call you a blind idiot, but I know who you are! You're that dumb Canadian that competed on Total Drama who wouldn't stop making stupid sound effects! You deserved to be eliminated first and I hope that land you made from that cannon launch hurt!"
Beardo hits back with, "Yeah? And I've heard about you! You're that President with 3 last names! Oh Bomb Uh, and you're Presidency has ruined America! You traded money for taliban terrorist being allowed into the interior of the country, made gas prices super high because of your great recession policies making America come out of the great recession super slow, and you killed a ton of people!"
Obama screams "HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PRESIDENCY! Everything I've done was awesome and if you disagree, you're going to regret it real soon! Now let me fill you in on everything that's happening! This Donald Duck looking person named Donald Trump, yes he has the same first name as Donald Duck because his parents injected too much Mickey Mouse into their brains, won 2 elections over the last 8 years. In 2016 and 2024! And he's been trying to reverse MY awesome policies! Obamacare, escalation with North Korea, etc! He took it all away! And now I'm taking it back!""
Beardo says "So are you thinking you're going to take back power by a military coup or something? Is the Donald Duck guy you were talking about the guy that's held hostage by those soldiers right now?"
Obama smirks and says, "That's exactly right! And that's what I'm doing right now! I will serve infinite terms! And America is now going to be completely under my rule because I will appoint EVERY person for the House and Senate and fire everyone who isn't on my side!"
Beardo was shocked at healing this! He said, "Okay, I knew you were a terrible President, but I didn't know you were a wannabe dictator! You never acted this way on TV, or anywhere!
Obama responded, "Oh, that's because everything I did in office behind the scenes, I paid the media to keep quiet about! I made sure no one found out about this! There was only one person who knew the real me! That being Jeffrey Epstien! And you know what happened to him don't you?"
Beardo panics. He doesn't know who Epstien was because the not suicide thing of him happened after his elimination from Pahkitiew Island, but he didn't want to find out. "Okay! I promise I won't tell anyone! Please don't do to me what you did to him!"
Obama says, "Good! You better keep it that way! And you, (He turns to Trump) the same goes to you. If I hear anything on that fake Fox News about any of this, you're gonna pay! You better let the media report the story. I paid them to report that you got taken out of the Whitehouse in handcuffs and I'm the indefinite President until the next election! Which will never be because I'm officially turning this Whitehouse into a castle and calling myself king!
The soldiers have seized the last of Trump's things, and Obama was ready to take his permanent spot in the Whitehouse.
Obama tells the soldiers pinning Trump, "Alright! Send escort him out of here! And as for this bearded freak, I have a special ride for him."
A Blue and Red starred Donkey comes out of the elevator. When it enters the Presidential office, Obama puts Beardo on it.
"Alright Democrat Donkey, take this freak out of the Whitehouse"
The Donkey and the Soldiers take Beardo and Trump out of the Whitehouse just as Obama took a picture of Jimmy Carter out of the President's desk drawer and tore it in half. When they reached the front yard, the Donkey launched Beardo right back into the fountain he landed in, and the soldiers threw Trump into the rose garden.
Beardo stands up in anger and screams "You won't get away with this Oh Bomb Uh! Just wait until I tell the news about this!"
Trump speaks up to Beardo and says, "Don't bother! Like he said in there, you'll just end up like Epstien if you speak up."
Beardo looked across the street to a nearby gas station and saw the gas prices had already increased 20 cents from when he first saw it before going into the Whitehouse. He said, "Well we have to do something. We can't just let Obama become a dictator king and destroy the country!
Trump stood up. "Well, there is one way we can stop this. In the park in a far off shed, my administration has turned it into a time machine. If I were to take you there, I could send you in the time Machine all the way back to the 1970s and you can warn about Obama many years before he even gets into politics.
Trump and Beardo go to the time machine. Trump opens the door. "Alright, now be warned, this time machine only has two uses, after you come back to the year 2025, it will break and can never be used again!"
Beardo says, "Got it!" Trump closes the door, and Beardo sets the time to July 7th 1970. He hears alarms, and then a slurp sound. He was going back in time. When the noises stopped, he opened the door.
He was now in 1970. He says, "Alright! Now I'm going to enter The Whitehouse at tell this President about Obama and make sure he never gets into power." He walks to the back entrance and is stopped by a guard.
The guard says, "Sir, what do you think you're doing? This house is off limits to everyone except the Nixon family."
Beardo thinks, so Richard Nick's son must be President in this time period. Beardo says, "I have a message for President Nick's son"
The guard responds, "Tell me what it is, and I'll deliver it for you!"
Suddenly, Richard Nixon comes outside the back entrance. He says, "Who's this person?"
Beardo speaks up "President Nick's son! I need to warn you about someone named Oh Bomb Uh! In 37 years, he's going to run for President, and then he's going to win, twice! Then a new President named Donald Duck is going to win after him and reverse all of Oh Bomb Uh's policies, this will cause Oh Bomb Uh to do a military seize against The Whitehouse and declare himself king! You must call him out in a speech to deter him from ever running for office!
Nixon just stared at Beardo. "Now are you on drugs or something? Are you even old enough for drugs? What kind of name is Oh Bomb Uh? The name Obama sounds familiar, but it's not spelled out in syllables like you keep pronouncing it. And did you say Donald Duck is going to be President? A cartoon character? Guard, please escort him out of the property!"
The guard says, "Alright will do"
Beardo screams "No you have to believe me, I'm from the future! I saw everything"
The guard walks Beardo back to the sidewalk about 100 feet from the time machine. Then he says, "Yeah sure you are, look if you set foot on this property again, you're going to jail!" Then he walks back to The Whitehouse
Beardo sighs and says, "I don't know what to do, I guess I'm just going to use this time machine to go back to my time of July 7th, 2014 so I won't have to face Trump and say I failed" He gets into the time machine and sets it to 2014.
When he opened the doors after all the time travel, he was back in 2014 and everything was normal again. The time machine was now just a normal shed as none of the buttons on it work anymore since it was used twice. Beardo says, "Now I'm just going to get a hotel and order plane tickets back to Muskoka Canada for tomorrow." He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. The piece of paper to the speech therapy office the woman he talked to gave him. "And maybe I'll see if the speech therapy office is open while I'm here so maybe next time I get a chance to compete on Total Drama, I won't be so shy and make sound effects.
And that concludes Beardo's Total Drama Pahkitew Island Exclusive! For almost 8 years, only Beardo knew the future of America. and 2025 when only 3 more years away. Beardo was ready to compete on the next season of Total Drama, as he saw flyers for it and already signed his name, as he wanted to hope to win to raise money to stop Obama. But little did he know, Obama was going to be competing with him!
Stay tuned for Chapter 2, where we will see what happened to Leonard after he was eliminated! What do you think happened to him?