A few days had passed since Twilight's expedition to the desert. Since then, Twilight had brought Fluttershy up to speed on everything they knew about the strange creature, showing her photos, as well as a feather that had dropped off it during its charge across the landscape. Fluttershy had agreed that the creature was most likely some sort of flightless bird, somewhat like an ostrich. For now, they were calling it the Desert Runner. With Princess Celestia's support, the two were researching the bird further, in an attempt to classify it. At the current moment, Twilight was bringing Fluttershy to the desert to see it firsthoof.
"So have you never seen it eat anything?" asked the timid pegasus, as the two mares trotted around the sandy landscape, searching for the bird.
"No. I haven't tried feeding it either, because I didn't want to introduce something potentially dangerous into its diet," replied Twilight. "I thought perhaps since you can communicate with animals, you might be able to shed more light on it."
"I don't know if I'll be able to understand an animal I've never met before, but I'll certainly try."
"Great! Now where is that thing—"
Twilight was cut off by a sound like a massive explosion, originating somewhere to the west of their position. Both mares slammed their hooves over their ears to try and drown out the noise, as they looked towards the source. A massive burst of rainbow light, expelled outwards in a circular shape, traveled across the sky, nearly blinding them. In the center of the circle, they could see a moving dot, trailed by a rainbow streak, chasing after something kicking up a massive sand cloud.
"Isn't that Rainbow?" asked Fluttershy.
Twilight groaned. "Not this again," she complained.
Rainbow Dash could feel the wind ripping at her face as she went into the Sonic Rainboom, accelerating faster than she ever had gone in her life. She could see the bird ahead of her, still kicking sand behind it as it went. Still, in Rainboom mode, she was gaining on the creature. Up ahead was an archway, formed of solid rock. If Rainbow could get to that arch before the bird, she'd consider it a victory, and cement herself as the fastest being in Equestria.
Come on, just a little further... she thought, coming up until she was neck and neck with the bird again. Her wings were burning from the strain of keeping her at this speed, but she couldn't stop now.
The bird looked over at her, its blank, white eyes unreadable. "Meep! Meep!" it squawked, before it jumped up and applied one more burst of speed, pulling ahead of Rainbow Dash once more.
"NO!" shouted Rainbow, who immediately regretted it as she took in a mouthful of sand. She beat her wings harder, trying to accelerate, but the strain was too much. She plummeted forward, landing face-first in the sand. Her momentum carried her several yards, leaving a massive dig in the sand, and covering her body. She pulled her head out just in time to see the bird pass under the archway.
"Why you little...!" she snarled, spitting out grains of sand.
A loud, magical pop, the sign of Twilight's teleporting, to her right alerted her to the unicorn's arrival in the same area. Fluttershy immediately rushed over to Rainbow, brushing the sand off her with both wings.
"Rainbow! Oh my goodness, are you hurt?" cried Fluttershy.
"No. But that pesky bird's not gonna be feeling so good once I prove I'm the fastest around!" Rainbow growled, having not taken her eyes off the retreating desert runner.
"Rainbow, this is, what, the fifth time you've tried to outrace this thing?" demanded Twilight. "I think, at this point, we have to just admit it's faster than you—"
"NO!" Rainbow snapped, turning to glare at Twilight. "I will not be beaten by some random desert animal! All I need is a new approach, a new tactic, and I will prove I'm faster than it!"
Twilight frowned. "Rainbow, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: it's just a wild animal. It's not like anypony's going to care that it's faster than you."
"I agree with Twilight, Rainbow," added Fluttershy. "The Desert Runner—"
"You're missing the point!" yelled Rainbow. "I'm supposed to be the fastest thing in all of Equestria! I can't let some random animal be better than me by default!" She ground her teeth against each other. "I'm gonna find some way to prove I'm faster, no matter what!"
She took off with another flap of her wings, spraying Twilight and Fluttershy with sand.
Twilight groaned again. "And I thought Applejack was the stubborn one."
"Should we be worried about her?" asked Fluttershy. "I'm afraid of how far she might be willing to go against the Desert Runner. She might hurt herself."
"Good point," replied the unicorn. "After all, pride can make a pony do...dangerous things."
To her credit, Rainbow Dash didn't go all out against the Desert Runner from the beginning. She decided to start small, merely trying to get the bird into a more even race, with both participants starting at the exact same point at the exact same time. She set up a giant START banner, a giant END banner at a location a good distance across the desert, and cones to show the route they were supposed to take. Then she simply waited at the starting line for the Desert Runner to show up. She was certain the thing wouldn't be able to resist the chance for an even match between them.
So she waited. And waited. And waited.
"Come on, where are you?" she complained, looking in every direction. Behind her, she saw the telltale trail of sand kicking up behind the Desert Runner as it approached. Rainbow grinned, before getting into a starting position behind the banner.
Just a little closer, she thought, tensing her legs and spreading her wings out. The bird got closer and closer, seemingly taking the bait.
The second it reached her side, Rainbow took off like a rocket, launching herself over the starting line. She managed to put herself a good distance ahead of the bird, flapping her wings and taking each curve of the improvised track. She was making good time, passing the halfway point in a few seconds.
Rainbow couldn't resist. She turned her head around to gloat at the Desert Runner, but what she saw stopped her in her tracks. The bird had made a sharp turn to the left, plowing through some of the cones and going off-track.
"What are you doing?!" Rainbow yelled. "The race is—you're not following the race rules! You read the banner—"
The Desert Runner made a quick u-turn, rushing back towards Rainbow. It stopped just in front of Rainbow, and from out of nowhere, it produced a sign attached to a stick. On the sign, in perfect ponish, was written "Road Runners can't read and don't race." Rainbow could only stare, slack-jawed, at the sight.
Then the bird jumped up with another, "Meep, meep!" and rushed off into the distance. Rainbow was left standing alone, covered with more sand.
"Of course you realize this means war," she growled, digging her hooves into the sand in fury.
For her next plan, Rainbow borrowed one of Pinkie Pie's party cannons. She'd seen Pinkie launch other things besides party supplies and confetti out of it, so she was reasonably certain this plan would work. All it required was a little ingenuity. She'd been forced to ask Pinkie for help in modifying the cannon, so that it would fire at the pull of a string, rather than the press of a button. She placed the cannon itself under a beside the route she believed the Desert Runner would take, then climbed inside, taking the trigger string with her. It was difficult to maneuver herself until her head was sticking out the front, but she pulled it off.
If I can get a quicker head start on that thing, and then keep that lead, I'm sure I can beat it, she thought to herself, ignoring that voice in the back of her brain that pointed out she'd never have this kind of advantage in a real race. For some reason, that voice sounded just like Twilight.
She didn't have to wait too long this time. The familiar, "Meep, meep!" found its way to her ears within five minutes, and Rainbow glanced to the side, seeing the bird coming up the road. She tightened her grip on the trigger string, waiting for just the right moment to yank.
The second the Desert Runner passed her, Rainbow pulled on the string, and the cannon fired her outwards in a spray of compressed air. She was launched just a short distance ahead of the bird, but that was all she needed. Rainbow began beating her wings furiously, getting a steady rhythm. She soon settled into her racing pose, maintaining a good lead over the bird. This time, the course she'd set up was shorter, and she was sure the bird wouldn't suddenly veer off in another direction before reaching the finish line.
Speaking of the finish line, it was already in sight. Rainbow couldn't help the smile that found its way to her face. She was going to win, to prove she was better than the Desert Runner. At long last, her title as the fastest thing in Equestria would—
BANG!
A massive anvil dropped from the sky and landed on Rainbow Dash's back, knocking her out of the air and sending her into the ground with a thump. Rainbow exhaled as the oxygen was violently driven from her lungs, and she went face-down into the sand for the third time that day.
The pain was bad, but not unbearable. Rainbow groaned as she watched the Desert Runner cross what she'd deemed the finish line with another, "Meep meep!" Frowning, she looked to the sky to find out where the painful interruption had come from, and was not surprised to find a certain gray pegasus mare flying a good distance above her, wearing her mail delivery uniform and carrying a now empty box.
"Sorry, Rainbow Dash!" called out Derpy.
Rainbow whimpered in both pain and anger as she dropped her head. Not for the first time, she wished she had Pinkie's Pinkie Sense.
"Back to the drawing board."
"What do you mean you won't cast a permanent Accelero spell on me?!"
Rainbow Dash looked furious, mad enough to tear apart all of Ponyville in fury, but that didn't seem to deter Twilight. The unicorn stood her ground, staring unflinchingly back at Rainbow.
"I mean, I won't cast a permanent Accelero spell on you," she replied. "And I have several reasons. One, I'm not even sure how to make that spell permanent. It could take years of research just to figure that out. Two, doing that would automatically disqualify you from racing ever again. Other pegasi have lost their careers for trying to magically augment their speed. You'd lose your chance at the Wonderbolts forever. Three, even if I didn't have those first two reasons, if I did cast that spell, you could easily zip and crash into something and die."
Rainbow opened her mouth to issue some angry retort, but found she couldn't come up with anything. Twilight's argument was too good. She slowly closed her mouth, and felt her ears flatten against her skull. Twilight was saying something else, but Rainbow ignored it. She mentally scratched out this idea in her list.
"Are you sure about this, Rainbow?" asked Applejack.
The farm pony currently had Rainbow Dash tied up like a bale of hay. Rainbow herself was laying on the ground, with her wings tucked in under the rope. The other end of the lasso had been in Applejack's mouth, but she'd taken it out so the two mares could understand each other.
"Trust me, this is a great idea," insisted the pegasus. "The second that bird passes us by, you spin me around and chuck me. I'll have a head start on it, and I'll beat it to that archway." She pointed to the designated finish line for the course the two had set up. "That'll prove I'm faster than it!"
Applejack still looked uncertain. "I don't know," she hesitantly said. "Does it really count as you being faster than it if you need my help? Plus, what if your wings can't break this rope?"
"Oh, it'll count, alright," Rainbow said, grinning mischievously. "I'll make sure of it. And I can break this rope no problem. Remember when I broke that rope you put on me at the Running of the Leaves?"
"Well, yeah, but—"
"Shh! Here it comes!"
"Meep, meep!"
Indeed, the Desert Runner was rushing up the path, seemingly oblivious to the mares in front of it.
Judging by her body language, Applejack still wasn't one-hundred percent on board with Rainbow's plan, but she nonetheless followed it. She seized the lasso with her teeth, then pulled on it with the full force of her body. Rainbow was dragged around the sand, before Applejack made a sharp turn and tossed her like a bale of hay, sending the blue pegasus flying in the same direction as the bird. With Applejack's strength, she flew right ahead of the Desert Runner. Rainbow grinned, before tensing her wings to snap the lasso.
And promptly failed to break it.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" she screamed.
She sailed over the side of the road, and unfortunately, it appeared Applejack had unintentionally tossed her over the edge of a cliff. The farm pony charged after her, trying to grab the lasso again, but missed. Rainbow Dash plummeted with a loud whistling sound, stopping and kicking up a large white cloud upon impact.
"Uh...oops," said Applejack. "Maybe I shouldn't have used the extra thick rope."
"So what exactly are we doing here?" asked Rarity, as the five mares and one dragon floated down towards the desert in their hot-air balloon.
"Well," Twilight began, sounding more irritable than usual, "as you all are aware, Rainbow Dash had been having a bit of a...contest with the Desert Runner. She's been desperately trying to prove she's faster than it."
"No kidding!" added Pinkie Pie. "She still hasn't returned my party cannon!"
"It hasn't been good for her health," said Spike. "We're hoping that if we all talk to her together, it'll make her stop trying before she really hurts herself."
"Good thinking," Fluttershy replied. "Rainbow's always been a bit reckless."
"I believe you, sugar cube," said Applejack. "I know I've got no room to talk about stubbornness, but that pony is going to crazy lengths just to prove something nopony actually cares about."
"Good point, Applejack," replied Twilight, levitating up a quill and scribbling on a flash card. "We should bring that up when we find her."
In another minute, they'd landed. Now that they were actually in the desert, Twilight cast a spell to hone in on Rainbow Dash's magical signature, then teleported them all to her location.
"Alright, Rainbow Dash," Twilight began, "we've come here to—WHAT THE HAY?!"
Rainbow Dash, covered in bandages and scratches, had once again crammed herself inside of Pinkie's party cannon, apparently to launch herself once again. However, this time, the party cannon had been hooked up to several crates filled with fireworks, which would vastly increase the firing power, and the force of the blast.
"Oh, hey girls! Hey Spike!" said Rainbow. She pointed to the improvised, upgraded party cannon. "Impressive, isn't it? With a shot from this baby, I'll definitely outpace that stupid bird!"
Six jaws dropped, staring at Rainbow's latest, hare-brained scheme. Twilight smacked her forehoof into her face.
"That's it," she grumbled, lighting up her horn. Rainbow Dash was enveloped in her magical aura, and yanked out of the party cannon head first.
"Hey!" complained the pegasus. "What the heck—?"
"Listen, Rainbow," Twilight began, clearly annoyed, "you're going to seriously injure yourself if you keep trying to one-up this bird that couldn't care less about you. This stops now."
"What? No!" Rainbow snapped back. "I am not going to let some random desert bird be better than me! I'm going to prove that I'm faster than this thing if it's the last thing I do!"
"At this rate, it will be the last thing you do," said Applejack. "I certainly didn't help when I threw you. What if you crippled yourself to the point you couldn't fly anymore?"
"I wouldn't do that! I'd—"
"Rainbow, darling," said Rarity, "why do you care so much about an animal that most likely doesn't care about beating you?"
"Because I have to be the best! I have to—"
"Why?" asked Fluttershy. "Why do you have to be the fastest thing in Equestria?"
"Because I...I..." Rainbow Dash suddenly found herself at a loss for words. If she were honest, she didn't know the answer.
"Rainbow, it's not like this bird is competing with you for a place in the Wonderbolts," Twilight insisted. "And even if it was, the fact that it's faster than you doesn't affect your value as a pony."
Rainbow's ears drooped, and her wings fell limp at her sides. "I just...I always prided myself on being the fastest through all my hard work. Now, some random animal without training is quicker than me, and...I don't know what to do with that. I don't know what that leaves me with."
Fluttershy walked up to her longtime friend and draped a wing over her back. "Rainbow, you're more than just a fast pony. You're a loyal and kind friend, and that's what's important."
Rainbow perked up a little bit. "Thanks. I guess I let my jealousy carry me away."
"It's okay, sugar cube," said Applejack. "That's why you got friends like us."
"Yeah. Maybe I should apologize to the Desert Runner."
At that moment, the ponies' ears picked up a faint, "Meep meep!" approaching. The Desert Runner ran right past them, spraying them with sand.
"Or not," Rainbow continued with a groan.
Dear Princess Celestia,
It's perfectly fine to be proud of your talents or abilities, but they shouldn't be the only things that define you. And if you come across someone—or something—who's more skilled than you at something, you shouldn't let that affect your self-esteem. And you shouldn't relentlessly push yourself to the point of injury just to prove you're better.
Yours,
Rainbow Dash
"There's only one thing I don't understand," said Fluttershy, as the group headed back to the hot-air balloon. "Why has nopony discovered the Desert Runner up until this point? It's not like it was in hiding, it just runs around like crazy in the desert. Somepony should've seen it."
"Now that I think about it, that's a good point," said Twilight. "The desert's been mapped for a long time. But the Desert Runner had to have come from somewhere. Maybe it's not native to Equestria?"
Before anypony could speak, they felt the ground rumble a little beneath them. It wasn't strong enough to be an earthquake, but something was clearly moving underground.
"Now what?!" complained Applejack.
"Girls! Look!" called out Spike, pointing.
In the distance, a trail of bumps was rising up in the sand, indicating that something was moving underground. The trail was approaching the group at a fairly quick speed. Fluttershy quickly hid behind Rainbow Dash, while the rest of the ponies all took up defensive positions, just in case of a fight.
The subterranean object stopped a short distance from them. From beneath the disturbance of the ground, out popped a bipedal, gray and white creature with ears like a rabbit.
"Well, here I am!" it proclaimed, in a male voice. Then he turned from side to side, taking in his surroundings. "Wait a minute. This isn't the Carrot Festival!" He reached into the dirt, pulling out a remarkably clean map. "I knew I should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"