Epilogue
Yoongi's dream clouded his mind, flickers of memories skipped past his eyelids. The loft that Seokjin had rented in his name for Yoongi, sitting at the piano with Jungkook, laughing and playing together. Yoongi's fingers were over Jungkook's teaching him how to play the notes, his chin on the younger's shoulder.
Then, on top of the container, watching the stars twinkle in the sky, reflecting in Jungkook's irises as they looked at each other longingly. Yoongi's eyes flitted to Jungkook's lips before he wound his arm around his dongsang and hugged him. He knew so much about Jungkook's body, about the way the curve of their mouths fitted together and yet he had no idea how to begin again with Jungkook. He had no idea what good love was supposed to look like, the kind of love Jungkook deserved to have.
And it had almost been too late. Hoseok had called Yoongi and told him about the accident and Yoongi had hung up, thinking he must have been having the worst nightmare of his life. The words echoed around his head. Jungkook. Hit by a car. Hospital. He paced the streets. He had drunk whisky for the first time since the fire. Jungkook was stable, but not awake, not dead either, just in a limbo between here and there, gone and back.
Yoongi had found himself at the crossroads, before turning on his heels and walking to the hospital. Don't you know what you mean to him?
"Hyung," Jungkook had said on waking.
Shh, it's okay. It's okay, hyungie's here. You're okay.
Jungkook-ah. I can't believe I almost lost you. (Hyung, I'm here.) I can't believe you were nearly gone. (I'm not going anywhere.) I nearly didn't get the chance to tell you. (What is it?) I love you, Jungkook-ah. I'm in love with you. I have loved you since – (I know, hyung. I know.)
Yoongi's eyelids fluttered open, with the sound of Jungkook's voice inside his head. He was pressed against Jungkook's back, the both of them laying on their sides on the narrow single bed that was in the middle of Taehyung's old bedroom. The curve of Jungkook's nape was next to Yoongi's lips and he resisted the urge to purse them against the younger's soft skin in case it woke him, listening to the sounds of Jungkook's even breaths cooing as he slept.
It was awkward with the cast on. It lay between them, heavy and obstructing, and Yoongi kept waking in the night as his shin chafed on the plaster. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for Jungkook though.
He looked down the younger's body, admiring the way the duvet pooled at his coccyx. His dongsang really was a space heater, sleeping in nothing but boxers, radiating heat that made Yoongi strip down into his underwear in the night, his t-shirt, and jogging bottoms in a pile next to the bed. Jungkook's soft skin was everywhere, and all Yoongi wanted to do was press his lips to it and –
"I can hear you thinking," Jungkook whispered.
Yoongi exhaled a laugh. He pursed his lips against his love's nape, placing a hand on Jungkook's hip, who stirred and turned his head slightly. Yoongi traced his hand over the dip of Jungkook's waist, palming the deep curve, holding firmly, kissing along the younger's shoulder blade.
Jungkook turned his head to the side, and Yoongi kissed his cheek, pressing his hand to the flat of Jungkook's belly and holding tightly.
I have loved you my whole life – Yoongi understood what that meant now. There was an ache in his heart, a yearning that he could never quite put his finger on, that licked the flame in his stomach. He thought about it when he imagined what his life would turn out to be, a washed-up high schooler with no friends or future, just a room in the motel and his whisky and the endless count of the days. He thought that feeling was dissatisfaction, but as he held Jungkook against his chest and kissed the top of his shoulder, he realised it was something else entirely. It was hope.
He had loved Jungkook his whole life, because Jungkook gave him hope that there was something else out there for him, something more than misery, more than pain, more than the fire that burnt inside of him. Jungkook's love was good, and he was worthy of it, and he saw his Mom smiling at him from her place at the piano, gentle, and true and strong. There was so much Yoongi wanted to tell her.
If the piano was Yoongi's first love, then Jungkook would be his last.
"I have loved you my whole life," Yoongi whispered against Jungkook's skin, tracing his lips over the top of his dongsang's arm.
Jungkook said nothing, only bending his arm back to smooth his palm over Yoongi's nape and bring him in for a chaste kiss.
Yoongi rested their foreheads together. "My Mom would have loved you, you know."
Jungkook nuzzled the tip of his nose on his hyung's. "I'm sorry I never met her."
"She was really special," Yoongi said, an ache creeping into his voice.
"I know she loved you a lot," Jungkook replied, and Yoongi nodded, not trusting himself to speak.
They pressed their lips together again, small kisses at first until their lips began to pout and linger.
"I'm going to quit my job," said Yoongi, after a moment. "I'm gonna quit the restaurant and start doing music, for real."
Jungkook kissed him deeply. "Okay," he replied, after.
"I'm going to try, Jungkook-ah," Yoongi said, breathily. "And I'm going to finish your song."
"Hyung," Jungkook whispered, quickening his lips. The younger started pushing back on Yoongi, grinding his ass against Yoongi's crotch, making the elder moan faintly into his mouth.
"Can I?" Yoongi stuttered, fingering the waistband of Jungkook's boxers.
"Mhm," Jungkook replied through a kiss, gripping Yoongi's thigh to circle his ass more over Yoongi's dick.
Yoongi's hand delved into Jungkook's boxers and gripped his half-hard cock, pumping his hand gently in time with Jungkook's hips until the younger's dick was straining in Yoongi's hand. The elder bucked his hips against Jungkook's ass, feeling his boxers tug on his cock, trapped between their bodies. They moved in tandem, kissing hungrily, breathy moans exchanged as they leaked into their underwear. They ground on each other, chasing the dizzy high of feeling pressed against each other's bodies.
"C'mon," Jungkook urged, turning on his back and reaching over to grab Yoongi's hip. He maneuvered himself gingerly over Jungkook's cast and sat between the younger's legs, crawling over his body until Yoongi settled on top of him. Their cocks aligned together, nestled between them, cradled by their underwear as they began to move together, hips rutting against each other. Yoongi broke out into a hot sweat, feeling the delicious tug and pull between his legs as the material caught around his cock head, rubbing against his shaft.
Jungkook wound his arms around Yoongi's waist, tugging him down and grinding up into him, bucking his hips up, chasing his ecstasy. Yoongi palmed the mattress weakly, struggling not to cage Jungkook in completely against the bed until Jungkook pulled him down and their chests were flushed together, nipples rubbing against one another, and Jungkook's brow was pinching all over again.
"Hyung," Jungkook panted, as Yoongi kissed down his neck. "Hyung, please." Jungkook's hand grasped at the meat of Yoongi's ass and stilled him.
"What is it, Jungkook-ah?" Yoongi asked.
"Please fuck me."
He thought about the conversation he had with Jungkook. What we do at night… We're different to how we are in the day. We seem to pass each other by. He didn't want it to be like that anymore. Yoongi wanted to love Jungkook in the day. In the day, and the night, and all the time, and showing Jungkook just how much in the early hours of the morning, whilst the birds sang outside. It felt like the right time, but –
Yoongi gulped. "Jungkook-ah, I've never… I…"
Jungkook looked up at him through his eyelashes. "I've never… either."
"Oh," Yoongi said and gave a kind smile. "Do you want me to? I mean, I want to – if you want to?"
"I want to," Jungkook said, hurriedly. "I really want you to."
"I want to, too," Yoongi babbled, as Jungkook brought him down by the neck for another kiss. Their cocks slotted next to each other again. "Oh God, I want to so bad, Jungkook-ah."
"Please fuck me," Jungkook said, between kisses, wrapping his good leg around Yoongi's waist and bringing him closer to his crotch, even though they were close enough that Yoongi could feel Jungkook's dick pulsing next to his. "We could take it in turns."
Yoongi smiled into Jungkook's mouth. "When your leg is better," he replied. Jungkook gave a particularly deep roll of his hips. "Ah – ah! Soon, Jungkook-ah," Yoongi panted.
"Hyung," Jungkook warned, pushing at the waistband of Yoongi's boxers. The elder got the message, lifting his crotch from Jungkook and pushing back on his knees, curling his fingers around the top of Jungkook's underwear and slowly bringing it down his hips, careful not to catch the material on his hard cock that sprung out of the younger's pants.
Yoongi pulled his dongsang's boxers down his thigh, over his legs, one side awkwardly catching on his cast and off onto the pile of Yoongi's clothes by the bedside. He shrugged off his own underwear and then, as he looked back, he saw Jungkook fisting his own cock tightly, looking up at Yoongi, almost begging with heavy-lidded eyes.
The sight went straight to Yoongi's cock.
He looked down at Jungkook, who had bent one leg, ready for Yoongi, the other in the cast lying straight down beside where Yoongi sat on his heels.
"I don't have a condom… or lube," said Yoongi, looking back up to Jungkook. He hadn't expected this to be happening so soon with Jungkook.
"Spit works fine," Jungkook shrugged.
Yoongi was taken aback, until Jungkook stuck his finger in his mouth and coated it with his own spit, bringing his hand down to play with his fluttering hole.
"Okay," Yoongi breathed hurriedly, slicking up two of his own fingers in his mouth and replacing Jungkook's. He teased at the younger's hole until he opened up, edging a finger inside, down to the first knuckle and then the second. "What about my tongue?" Yoongi asked.
"Yessstongue," Jungkook said shakily, his chest rising and falling.
Yoongi bent his head forward and traced his tongue around Jungkook's rim, until it was nestled alongside his finger, and he was drooling, wet and messy, over the younger's hole. He pointed his tongue, licking around him inside, feeling how Jungkook rutted his hips back against Yoongi's mouth, silently asking for more.
"Do you want another finger?" Yoongi asked, raising his head.
Jungkook spread his legs winder. "Yes," he sighed.
Yoongi slowly nestled another finger alongside his first, slowing to give Jungkook a moment to adjust. The younger gave short, shallow pants, until he was working his hips back and Yoongi's tongue lapped at his asshole again. Yoongi curled his fingers, pressing on Jungkook's prostate, making the younger cry out, back arching up off the bed.
"Shh," Yoongi giggled. "You'll wake Taehyung."
"If you do that again, I'll come," Jungkook told him, his lips curling up into a smile.
Jungkook's cock was already dribbling pre-come, and Yoongi's dick was heavy between his legs, neglected and aching to be touched. He resisted the urge to rut on the bed as he bent over and attached his mouth to Jungkook's hole once again, pushing his tongue past the tight ring of muscle that flexed as Yoongi pressed his fingers in and then drew them back out again gently.
"I want you, hyung," Jungkook panted, as he gripped Yoongi's hair.
Yoongi pulled his fingers back, accidentally brushing against Jungkook's prostate. The younger's balls drew up and his thigh knocked into Yoongi's head, and Yoongi was sure that if Jungkook's other leg wasn't held down by a cast then he would have clamped his hyung's head between his thighs.
The elder took Jungkook's leg and brought it around his waist, as he took his leaking, lonely cock in his hand, holding firm at the base, and readied himself at the younger's entrance.
"I'm going to be honest, Jungkook-ah, I'm scared," Yoongi told him.
Jungkook blinked. "Why?"
"Because I'm scared I'm going to hurt you," replied Yoongi. "And I know once I get my cock inside you, I'm not going to last five seconds, and I really don't want you to think that you're going to be damned to a lifetime of bad sex."
Jungkook's mouth broke out into a smile. "A lifetime, huh?" he teased.
My last love, Yoongi's heart sung.
"If you'll let me," Yoongi replied, leaning over Jungkook, with his hand braced next to his lover's head.
Jungkook inched his head up to catch Yoongi's lips in a firm kiss.
"I might," he shrugged, although smiling. "Spit on my hole."
Yoongi's head jerked in surprise but did as he was told. Jungkook's hand snaked down between their bodies and took Yoongi's shaft, guiding him towards his hole. He pushed the tip of Yoongi's cock inside him, breathing shallow as the elder pushed forward slightly with his hips.
"Are you okay?" asked Yoongi. "Tell me to stop if it hurts."
"Keep going," Jungkook replied, bracing his hands on Yoongi's shoulders.
Yoongi eased in gently, inch by inch, watching Jungkook's face for any signs of discomfort.
"I've got you," he whispered, kissing Jungkook's lips. As the elder pushed in a third of the way along his cock, Jungkook's brow crinkled, and he bit his lip, so Yoongi slowed down. He waited, until Jungkook relaxed around him again, and he pushed in halfway, trying to control himself despite the addictive feeling of Jungkook's heat around him, squeezing his cock tightly.
Jungkook moved back against him, and Yoongi pushed in a bit more.
"How do you feel?"
"So good," Jungkook panted, and Yoongi felt his rim relax around him, getting used to Yoongi's girth. "You're so big, though."
Yoongi felt himself blush. "Thank you," he stammered and Jungkook smiled.
"Hyung is filling me up with his big, thick cock," Jungkook replied.
Yoongi bit back a growl. "Jungkook-ah," he stuttered, trying to still his hips. "If you keep talking like that…"
"You'll what?"
Yoongi buried his face in Jungkook's chest, as the younger hitched his leg higher on Yoongi's waist, allowing for the last of the elder's cock to push inside of him. Yoongi groaned out against Jungkook's sternum, waiting to acclimatise to the pressure around his cock.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Yoongi whispered.
"Come on," Jungkook said, reaching down to clap a hand on Yoongi's ass cheek. It made his hips buck into Jungkook's hole and Yoongi had to hold on really tightly to stop from coming there and then.
"Jungkook-ah, if you do that again, I swear to God –,"
Jungkook let out a breathy giggle that slid into a whine. "Please move, hyung."
"Just give me a second," Yoongi breathed heavily, coming to look at Jungkook, who gazed down at him so lovingly that Yoongi couldn't help but cup his lover's face and kiss him ardently. As they broke apart, they gazed into each other's eyes, and Jungkook reached out to brush Yoongi's fluffy fringe away from his forehead, raking his fingernails across the elder's scalp.
Yoongi hummed contently, winding his arms around Jungkook's shoulders, and kissed him softly. He licked up the column of Jungkook's neck, nipped at his jaw and behind his ear, pressing a kiss to his chin before kissing him again, tenderly. Their nipples aligned, brushing against each other, making another whine slip from Jungkook's mouth. Yoongi could feel the younger's hard, leaking cock trapped between them, the pre-come sticky and slick on their stomachs.
Slowly, Yoongi drew his hips back, easing out and then back in again, feeling the pressure tighten on his shaft. Jungkook hummed with delight, inhaling through his nose as he kissed Yoongi feverishly, biting down on the elder's lip.
"I love you," Yoongi whispered. "Have I told you?"
"Quite a few times," replied Jungkook, as his thumb dipped into the space where Yoongi's leg met his pelvis, gripping onto his hip to try and fuck back against his hyung.
"Good," said Yoongi, muffled against Jungkook's lips. "You need to know."
"I know," Jungkook panted, as he and Yoongi picked up their pace. "Spit on my hole again." Yoongi bent his head down and spat a long stream of spit onto where his cock met Jungkook's hole. "And I love you too, hyung. Did you know that?"
Yes, Yoongi thought, as he returned to pressing himself against the younger. He knew. But he was too lost in how Jungkook was almost riding his dick to form words. The elder bit down on his lip and flexed his hips, a deep moan rolling out of Jungkook. It brought Yoongi closer to the edge, but he needed to hear that sound again.
He flexed, Jungkook moaned. He snapped his hips harder and Jungkook's voice pitched higher.
"Hyung!" he almost cried, his voice shaking with the effort.
Yoongi looked at Jungkook again and their lips crashed together, tongues tangling, swallowing each other's spit. Yoongi's orgasm began to build low in his belly.
"I'm going to come," he told Jungkook.
Jungkook began to flex his hips, grinding his cock against Yoongi's stomach, rutting his ass against Yoongi's dick and Yoongi couldn't hold on any longer. He snapped his hips tightly against Jungkook's ass, and felt his stomach tug and pull, as he swirled towards the edge of an orgasm.
The heat inside of him spread out against his back, tingling his toes and up his legs. Jungkook's rim constricted around his cock as the younger came with a high-pitched pant between their bellies and Yoongi finally tipped over the edge. He shot his load deep into Jungkook's ass, exhaling out a jagged moan and slowing his thrusts.
Their lips crashed together again as they swallowed each other's groans, as they both came down from their highs. Yoongi's sensations slowly came back to him, as he felt the sticky come between their stomachs and the heat of Jungkook's ass around his softening cock, and the way Jungkook's leg flopped from around his waist back to the mattress with a gentle thud.
"Fuck," Jungkook whispered, laying spent beneath his hyung.
Yoongi rested his head against Jungkook's chest and slowly pulled out. "Yeah," he said, slightly strangled.
They lay there like that, catching their breaths.
"I don't think I'm going to be damned to a lifetime of bad sex at all," said Jungkook, and a laugh rolled out of Yoongi. He raised his head, holding himself over Jungkook and grinned, enough that he felt his cheeks plump up and his teeth push through his lips. "I love your smile," Jungkook told him, cupping his cheeks, and bringing Yoongi down for a soft kiss. "But you won't be smiling when you realise, you're going to have to help me clean your come out of my ass."
Yoongi snorted at Jungkook's words. He leaned over and picked up his t-shirt from the pile of clothes on the ground. He spread it over Jungkook's belly, wiping up the come, and then swiped it between the younger's legs where his own come was starting to leak out onto the bed.
He clambered over Jungkook's cast and lay down beside him, bringing the younger in by the waist and planting a kiss on his temple. Jungkook turned over on his side so that he was facing Yoongi, but slung his good leg over the elder's waist so as to not put any extra pressure on his cast. It lay perfectly over the curve of Yoongi's waist.
Yoongi reached out and cupped Jungkook's cheeks, brushing his thumbs over the apples of them, soft and tender. Jungkook leaned in and pressed chaste kisses to Yoongi's lips, gently smacking as they broke apart. Jungkook hand braced itself against Yoongi's firm chest, as his eyelids fluttered closed, drifting into a shallow, post-coital sleep.
The elder smiled and watched him, as Jungkook's lips parted with the gentle coo he knew so well. They had made it, Yoongi thought to himself. All that time, all that waiting, and they had finally made it. They were together, as they should be, lying side by side under the warm light of the morning sun.
Suddenly, Jungkook's good leg jerked, and he woke himself up.
"Hyung?" he half-asked as he roused.
Yoongi smiled, and let out a breathy chuckle, drawing Jungkook in closer.
"That's right, hyungie's here," he whispered, as Jungkook settled back down against his chest, nuzzling against Yoongi's clavicle. "Hyung's here," he whispered, with a soft kiss on Jungkook's forehead.
The boy laughs
He can laugh because he is together.
The boy advances.