Febuwhump Day 16: "Does That Hurt?"
Word Count: 713
Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl
Rating: G/K
Characters: Jean Havoc
Warning: N/A
Summary: The doctors need to know just how much sensation Havoc has lost. Havoc knows he's lost more than their tests can tell.
Notes: N/A
"Does That Hurt?"
"Does that hurt?"
Jean Havoc watched as the doctor poked at the soles of his feet with a needle.
"No."
"How about this?"
"No."
"Can you feel this?"
"No."
He watched as the doctor stood back and wrote on his clipboard. Havoc had no idea what he was doing, and if he were honest, he didn't really care. Even without the looming diagnosis that he knew was coming, Havoc knew what it was going to be.
He hadn't been able to feel his legs since he woke up. At first, he thought that it was maybe just a leftover effect from whatever they had done to him. His head had been a bit fuzzy, after all. But the longer he had laid there, the more he had come back to himself—except for the fact that he hadn't been able to feel his legs.
"Alright, Lieutenant. Let's move on to your legs. We're going to go up each of them slowly, trying to find out where your sensation is."
"Alright."
"Can you feel this?"
"No."
There was nothing. The doctor was starting at his ankles and slowly moving up, asking if Havoc could feel anything, and Havoc responded to him. It was almost automatic at this point. He had been poking at himself, trying to figure it out, trying to move his legs, trying to find the limits of this. He had a good idea of where his sensation stopped.
Honestly, that wasn't what was concerning him the most right now. He knew this information. What he didn't know was what came next.
All his life, Havoc had worked hard. He had taken pride in his physical abilities. He had run, jumped, played, and tested his limits as a boy. In the military he had taken pride in his physical abilities, how he was able to quickly move and adapt to situations, how it was able to get in there and do what he needed to. He had enjoyed having those abilities. There was pride in it.
"Alright Lieutenant. I'm going to try manipulating your legs now. Tell me if you can feel anything that I'm doing, and if so, where and how."
"Alright."
"Do you feel anything?"
"No."
Now he knew that all of that was gone. All of his physical ability was gone. And what did that mean he had left? He knew himself. He wasn't especially smart. Falman had his incredible recall. Breda was a brilliant tactician and investigator. Fuery was amazingly innovative with his field. Hawkeye had the skill, sharpness, and smarts of her namesake. Mustang was a masterful manipulator of all of those things.
And what did Havoc have? He had his ability to be the muscle to carry out any of the things that his teammates had needed. That had been his strength. Now it was gone, and what did that leave him with?
Nothing. It left him with nothing.
"Alright, Lieutenant. Please remember this is just the first exam. We'll run a few more. But I'll be honest with you. I don't think that this can be repaired. It will probably be a permanent condition. It doesn't mean that you can't lead a full life, though. There will be adjustments that you have to make. We have resources to help, and we'll send someone in to help you learn how to handle things such as going to the bathroom, getting in and out of bed, and physical exercises to keep your legs from withering."
Havoc finally looked up at the doctor. The doctor gave him a smile. "I'll get these orders in for you."
"Thanks, Doc."
Havoc watched as the doctor left, and then looked down at his now useless legs. A full life, huh? Right. Sure. He'd live some kind of life, but he doubted that it would be a full life. Not like the one he had planned. Not like he was going to live. He was going to have to relearn how to go to the bathroom, for stars' sake! What kind of a full life was that? What kind of a burden was he going to be? Who would want someone like him?
Havoc's jaw clenched, his fists clenched, and so did his heart.
"Does that hurt?"
Yes. Yes, it all did.