Febuwhump Day 23: "Don't Leave"
Word Count: 1026
Author: aquietwritingcorner/realitybreakgirl
Rating: K/G
Characters: Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye
Warning: N/A
Summary: Roy watches Riza from a distance and won't speak the words he truly wants to.
Notes: N/A
Don't Leave
Roy watched her. He couldn't help it. He had watched her for years, and it had been impossible to stop. He knew her. He knew her moods, her emotions, her moments. He could practically read her mind. He knew what she wanted, knew what she needed, and understood her at a glance.
Which was exactly why he had driven her away.
Roy sat back at his desk, and watched Riza as she sat at hers, looking over some paperwork that needed to be filed. Havoc leaned down over her, arm propping him up on the back of her chair. They were close, and comfortably so. He smiled down at her, and she gave him a soft smile back. It made Roy's heart break in two.
He should look back at his work. He knew he should. He could feel Breda's gaze on him telling him that he should look back at his work and just ignore Riza and Havoc. But it was so hard.
It had been mutual. It had been a mutual agreement. They both cared deeply for one another. They both loved each other. They both wanted to be with each other. But they also had both acknowledged that there was no way for them to be together and achieve the goals they needed to. And both he and Riza had cared about the other enough that they hadn't wanted to hold the other back from finding happiness.
So., they had broken it off. Decided to move on. They'd still work towards the goal together. But they, Roy and Riza, would never be together.
It hurt. It cut deep. There was pain and grief from both of them, even if they both knew it was for the best. Roy had ended up spending a lot of time with Breda, trying to work through it, and Riza? Havoc had been there to comfort her and stand by her when she was willing to try to move on. He had been there for her when Roy couldn't, and Roy was more than grateful for that.
He'd been there for her when Hayate had gotten lost.
He'd been there for her when she had gotten the flu.
He'd been there for her when she had started trying to date.
He'd been there for her when she had started to see someone regularly.
He'd been there for her when the hospital had called, saying she had been brought in.
He'd been there for her during the investigation into the man she had been seeing.
He'd been there for her when she had fallen back into grief over their relationship.
He'd been there for her when she had started to come out of it.
And he'd been there when she realized just how much he had been there for her.
Roy hadn't been. He had been there the same as the team, but he hadn't been there like Havoc had for her. He couldn't be. That was the decision they had made. That was why all of this was happening. And she seemed… happier. Lighter. Havoc brought out something light in her that Roy couldn't. Maybe they had been too close. Maybe they had too much history tangled together. She didn't have that with Havoc.
The workday was only about half over, but Roy already knew what was going to happen that evening. Riza and Havoc would go off together. They were going to go on a date, and then Riza was going to bring him back to her apartment, and then, somewhere in that evening, she was going to show him her back and explain about it. Roy knew this, because Riza had called him, told him what she planned to do. She had said he deserved to know that Havoc knew, because it was tied directly into him and his alchemy. But she had also said that she wanted Havoc to know, and that told Roy that they were already serious.
He had no right to refuse her that. It was her body, after all, and he would never take that autonomy away from her, if he could help it. But he still-
Suddenly, blue was in front of him, and Roy startled, looking up at Breda, who had blocked his view of Havoc and Riza.
"Sir," he said, his tone gruff, but with a look that meant he had a pretty good idea of what was on Roy's mind, "Here's the reports I just finished. I'll just add them to the pile you already have."
It was a not-so-subtle reminder to get back to work, and Roy took it.
The rest of the day seemed to drag on, and Roy did his best to stay focused on his work. As soon as the clock hit five, though, the day was over, and his team was pushing back from their chairs and standing up. It was Friday, and they were all looking forward to the weekend. Roy didn't stand up or join in the chatter as the team talked. Instead, he watched as Havoc helped Riza into her coat, and she let him, with a small smile.
"Sir?" Fuery asked him. "Are you going to stay?"
"Yes," he said. "I still have some work to do." He saw Riza glance his way, and he waved his hand. "Don't worry about me. I'll be out of here soon enough."
"If you say so, sir," Fuery said.
Roy's eyes stayed glued to Riza as she and Havoc talked, finished gathering their things, and headed for the door. He thought of nights and evenings where he and her had both stayed late, working on projects. Where they had fallen asleep against each other. How she had so effortlessly kept him moving.
And now she was walking out the door.
Don't Leave, he wanted to say.
Don't leave me behind, was what he thought.
Don't leave me here, circled his mind.
Don't leave.
Don't leave.
Don't leave me.
The door closed, and he was the only one left in the office, alone, and staring at the doors where the woman he loved more than life itself had just left him behind.