Starcorned Lovers, a star vs. the forces of evil fanfic

"Children, this is the story of two Star-corned ... I mean, star-crossed ... lovers," a young woman said.

"Yes," a young man added, "two teens from two different worlds, yet so much alike."

The two storytellers began alternating telling the tale.

"But the multiverse has a mean sense of humor, pairing them together yet thwarting the two from becoming one," the woman continued.

"They met on a January day," the man said, taking his turn, "and it did not go well. But that night, when together they fought monsters, who wanted magic for themselves, the girl and boy meshed as the most incredible team the multiverse has ever seen."

"The girl, Star Butterfly, a buff and beautiful magical princess from another dimension, and Marco Diaz, a buff and beautiful boy from Earth, connected with each other like they'd never connected with any person before."

"They became the bestest of besties, ever. They fought battles, and played, and did everything together, teaching each other teen things like how to mope, and self-pity, and other cool teen stuff ... but also about their homes, and life, and helped each other to grow in ways they never would have without each other."

"Star became calmer and more levelheaded and responsible..."

"While Marco became more confident and adventuresome."

"They fell hard for each other, Star even going so far as to give up her precious magic wand, and then destroy it, for Marco's sake ... but teenagers are dumb. Neither truly understood their deep feelings for the other. Star realized her crush first, and even took Marco on a date to a concert by the bestest band in the multiverse, but the eeeeevil Jackie Lynn Thomas stood in the way. Star had been too nice, bringing Jackie along, and she repaid Star's kindness by throwing herself at Marco, smashing her lips and tongue against his right there in front of his true love."

"Star hid her feelings away, but Marco finally learned the truth, when Star was outed at her song day, an already disastrous experience turned humiliating by the musical confession."

"You'd think that would give Marco a clue, but no, he was in thrall to the succubus Jackie. Finally, after together vanquishing an Evil that threatened to take over Star's kingdom, they parted, Star staying in her home dimension of Mewni, while Marco returned to Earth."

"But while Marco's body returned to Earth, his heart and soul remained with Star on Mewni. The sweet and chill Jackie realized that truth, and kindly let Marco go."

"Marco returned to Mewni to be with Star, but still, Marco mourned the loss of Jackie, not yet ready to accept the truth."

"In the meantime, Star had displaced her feelings for Marco onto the eeeeevil Tom Lucitor, dating him for a second time in a fit of desperation to regain what she thought she had lost in her parting from Marco. So, once again, the repressed lovers were together, yet still far apart."

"Like Marco, not yet ready to accept the truth, Star named Marco her personal squire, in an attempt to keep Marco close yet at a distance."

"Marco soon realized the truth about his crush on Star and took her on a date to the Underworld to see the yearly Soulrise, but the incubus Tom Lucitor stood in the way. Marco had been too nice, bringing Tom along, and he repaid Marco's kindness by throwing himself at Star, smashing his lips and tongue against hers right there in front of her true love."

"For many months, Star and Marco adventured together, while still painfully, emotionally, apart, their deep friendship fracturing from the strain."

"Finally, thanks to an evil little Hirsch Goblin, Marco had to confess the truth, that things were different for him. The two teens kissed each other, but Star nonetheless cruelly rejected Marco, stomping on his heart with a glee that only a horrible person who delights in causing pain to ..."

"Alright, don't oversell it. Star may have rejected him, but the experience shattered her certainty about her feelings for Marco and Tom. But, again, the multiverse being a cruel mistress, she threw another obstacle in their way."

"Meteora, a Butterfly princess denied her birthright, began a campaign of destruction, intent on taking 'her' throne by force."

"Again, Star and Marco teamed up, fighting the evil hag with all their might."

"But Meteora, a half monster with magic, was too much for the human Marco. He held his own for a while, but Meteora finally managed to get her claws into Marco, ravaging his relatively frail, yet buff, body."

"Seeing this, Star was overcome with grief and rage. She attacked Meteora in her super-powerful rawr Butterfly Monster form, giving Meteora the beatdown of her life. However, Meteora was not so easily defeated, and Star, tiring from the effort, was caught. From tooth and claw, Star received what she had been dishing out. Finally, pinned against a wall, Meteora's claws tearing into her otherwise flawless skin, Star compressed all her reserves of magic into a powerful ball of death, flinging it at Meteora."

"The desperate ploy worked, and Meteora died, collapsing onto the throne she had so coveted."

"The evil Meteora was vanquished! But at a cost. Star ran to Marco, collapsing beside him. She took him into her arms, and said, 'I've got you, Marco Diaz.' Marco looked into Star's eyes, and, cupping her cheek, said, 'I love you, Star.'"

"'I love you too, Marco,' she said back."

"They shared their first kiss as lovers, but, alas, their happily-ever-after was not to be. They died in each other's arms, their love and kiss the last things they ever felt."

"The end."

The tale complete, the storytellers looked expectantly at their audience. One was an early teen, her hair blonde and her eyes blue, with mocha colored skin and a cute little mole on her right cheek. The other was several years younger, his hair and eyes a dreamy brown, with alabaster skin.

The girl exclaimed, "That story changes every time you tell it, and according to Aunt Jackie and Uncle Tom, it's mostly a load of crap, anyway. Now you're saying the three of you died?"

"That's right, punkin', we all died."

"No, you didn't, or I wouldn't be here. Neither would stupid jerk-face."

"Yes, we did, and be nice to your brother."

"NO, MAMA, YOU DIDN'T!"

"We did, but our love is eternal."

"That's just not true! Well, maybe the yucky 'eternal love' part is, but the rest of it isn't!"

"Never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

The girl rolled her eyes, and when she looked back, her parents were rubbing noses and giggling.

Oblivious, the youngest said, "Now tell the story about Auntie Ponyhead and the woodchipper."

"No, we're going to call Meteora to babysit; your father and I have to ... 'run some errands.'"

The youngest exclaimed, "Yay! Auntie Meteora!"

The oldest child snickered, knowingly. "Stop that," her father scolded, "you're too young to know about 'running errands.'"

"Papaaaaa ... the internet? Haven't you ever been on reddit?"

Stay amazing!