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Troy Barnes had just finished his junior year in college when he came out to his mother.

It was something he never thought he would do. As complicated as he made the situation in his mind, it was simple.

He was in love with Abed Nadir.

He tried to make it more complicated. He tried, as hard as he could, to have anything for girls. But the harder he tried, the more he realized it was like forcing Britta to eat a steak sandwich, or making Chang take the medicine he really needed. It was never going to happen organically.

After the Valentine's Day dance, Troy ditched his date that he was very really interested in; that he feigned attraction for Abed's sake, and he found himself in the same place he'd been for the past few months. Troy was pinned against a wall, with Abed playing Han Solo. Troy used to think he was just acting, that he had been playing a character all along and this wasn't real.

There's no way in hell, Troy thought, as he laid down on Abed's bottom bunk, with his lips still connected to Abed's, This has to be real.

It was more real, than anything he'd experienced before.

That's when he had an epiphany; one that he should've had a long time ago.

He was super gay, super in love, and super over hiding how he felt.

They began to date. No one was shocked. Instead they were confused, because they thought they'd been dating this whole time. Even that cute librarian that Troy and Abed both asked to the Valentine's dance laughed, saying, "I knew it wouldn't take long for you to figure that out."

It was an underwhelming reaction for them, really.

They decided to just go with it, because it's not often that a couple as unconventional as them would be met with apathy. They took advantage of it, moving into a tiny apartment together at the start of their Junior year. That year they had an endless number of Dreamatorium adventures, created countless methods of straining pasta, and stayed up many nights just holding each other in the blanket fort.

It happened the night after Troy went out with Britta for lunch. Annie didn't mean anything by it, of course. She just wanted Troy to hang out with someone else for a change. Troy had no idea that Britta had a bit of a crush on him. Why would he have to expect that? She knew he was gay, and she was almost a decade older than him. Annie explained later that she fabricated the outing so he would notice and let her down gently, before it became an issue that would tear the group apart.

He didn't pick up on it at all, until that night in the blanket fort. Abed seemed a bit on edge, rocking back and forth in the sheets. Most people were terrible at reading his emotions, but Troy was gifted at interpreting every single movement, every small facial expression; just anything to know what he was thinking.

Troy scooted next to him, but made sure he didn't touch him right away. He spoke quietly, hoping not to spook him, "What's wrong, buddy?"

It took a minute for Abed to respond. He kept his gaze down, his breath shaking a little, "While you were at lunch, I ran through some scenarios. Annie told me they were just my anxiety, but when we were in the study group I saw how Britta looked at you. And now I keep running them through my head. They won't stop."

Troy folded his brow, "What scenarios are you talking about?"

"Every scenario I've run, you're going to leave me. Like everyone else has."

Troy's heart dropped, "No, baby. I'm never going to do that to you... Can I hold you?"

He took a deep breath, inhaling sharply. Troy applied tight pressure around his waist, planting kisses in his hair.

"You don't understand, Troy. Everyone gets sick of me. Then they leave…"

No one interrupted him, but his voice just trailed off, as he became too overwhelmed to speak. Troy did what he knew how to do, when Abed was like this. He held him close, ran fingers through his hair, and just talked to him. It was the kind of talk he'd repeat to him a lot, especially after he had to leave for that A/C cult for a couple of months.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Life has no meaning without you in it.

I love you, so so much, baby.

Nothing's ever going to take me away from you, at least without a fight.

I'm never going to leave you again.

My life was so fucking pointless before you. I'm not going back to that.

Troy didn't mind saying all of this. In fact, he liked it. He was always really good at telling people how he felt. Especially when it came to Abed. Jeff would joke around with Troy, telling him that the words would eventually lose their meaning because they said them so much. Troy let him do this, because he knew that he'd never get tired of it. He almost took it as a secret mission, to prove to every single person he met just how much he loved Abed. Hell, he would shout it from the rooftops, make a whole show about it.

At least, if it wasn't for one thing.

A week before school started, they were on the couch, snuggling and watching episodes of Inspector Spacetime, when Troy got a text from his mother.

Mom: I heard from Pastor Cory that you dropped out of that Bible study. Honey, I know you're busy but you've got to stay right with the Lord. Now, I want you to come with me to church on Sunday. It's been too long since we've gone together.

Abed hardly read it, but since he was so close to Troy he could still see the screen in his line of vision. It was a moment before he asked his question.

"You haven't told her you moved out of Pierce's place still, have you?"

Troy grimaced, "No, I haven't."

He didn't tell his parents anything about Abed. Not since Freshman year, when he ditched college football practice to hang out with him in the dorms. His father gave him a long lecture, one that brought up his failed football scholarship, his injury, his general failures, even to brush on his ADHD and dyslexia diagnosis. It ended up with a bunch of screaming, cursing, and shouting. Troy tried to tell him how he hurt himself just to get away from the life his dad wanted from him. It had no effect.

A week later, Troy was living with Pierce. He hadn't brought up his living situation, or much of anything, to them since then.

He scanned for any sign of hurt on his boyfriend's face, but he couldn't find any. Instead, he spoke very matter-of-fact, "If you do address the issue, I have no problem with you telling them we're just roommates. I do think it's wise for you to tell them. On TV when this happens the lie always gets discovered, in a very awkward way."

Troy sighed, sinking into his shoulder, "Yeah, I know. It's just the last time I talked to my dad about it… It was a lot." He thought about Abed's words for a second, "Maybe I should just tell them. Everything, you know?"

There wasn't much of a reaction on Abed's face, "You could if you wanted to, but is that really something that would make sense? Considering how your family is."

"I know, but…" Troy thought about it for a second, "I'm just tired of hiding you from them. Especially when you're not something to hide."
That's when Abed turned, to face him, "You're not just hiding me. You're hiding yourself, Troy. If you're going to tell them, do it for you, not me."

After another second of thinking, Troy intertwined his fingers with Abed's, "How about I do it for both of us?"

A fraction of a smile was on his face, "That works, I guess."

Troy leaned forward, to kiss him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Want to make sock puppets and act out our screenplay?"

"What do you think?"

Afterwards, they reenacted love scenes in the blanket fort, before they went back to their bedroom to have sex while Annie was still out. Troy laid there, as Abed slept, drawing circles into his skin. He would just watch, as his breath rose and fell, and think about how weird this all was, that they were lucky enough to find each other.

That was why, at the age of twenty-two years old, Troy sat there at the table in his mother's kitchen, tapping anxiously as she would not take her eyes off the pot she stirred. His mother made the best chili, complete with a side of homemade cornbread. That was the upside, to having a mother from Alabama. Really, there weren't many other positives.

Growing up, Troy was in the pews of the Hall of Jehovah's Witness every time the doors were open. The one time he skipped to go out with some friends, Nana Barnes came around with a switch. His mother watched, telling him it was for his own good. That's what he got, for disobeying the Lord.

He already knew what her reaction would be to this news. He tried to hide it, but he was petrified.

As much as his mother tried to correct herself, she still had a pronounced Southern twang when she spoke, "Now, tell me, baby. What's it like living with that crazy old white man?"

Troy forced a small laugh, "It's worse, since he kept finding the Twitter accounts I made. It's a mansion, so at least I never have to see him."

He hated lying, but he knew that's the only way he could talk to his mother.

She believed him, "You know, no one would blame you if you just came home. I miss that sweet face around here."

He knew that her wanting him home had an ulterior motive, but he played dumb.

"But Dad said…"

"You leave your daddy to me, baby," His mother interrupted. She glanced up at him, waving her wooden spoon a bit, "Now, tell me you've at least found a nice girl at that crappy college of yours."

Troy gulped. This would be the perfect time to tell her, but he didn't want to. Tears pricked his eyes, as he realized how hard this would be. This is what he feared. This is why he'd spent his entire life hiding who he was.

His mother pressed the issue, not looking to see the distress he was in, "Come on, honey. Don't be shy. Tell your momma what lucky girl you're dating now."

This was it. Now or never.

His tone was weak, barely a whisper, "His name is Abed."

She dropped the wooden spoon on the ground. He thought he'd broken her for a second, as she just froze.

Then, she cleared her throat, kept her head down. Her tone was eerily calm.

"I don't think I heard that right, honey. Her name is Ay-bed? What the hell kind of a name is that?"

His heart was in his throat, as he clenched his jaw, "No. Abed. It's Arabic. And he's my boyfriend. We've been together for over a year, and have been living together for a while now."

There was another pause.

Troy realized that his mother was speechless, so he continued.

"I'm gay, Momma. I was, even with all the girls I dated in high school. I tried so hard, fought with myself so much, but when I got to know who Abed was, and how everything fit together… I realized why it never worked out with the girls I dated. I've tried to hide this from myself, but I can't anymore. I love him, and I just want to be honest with myself."

A tear rolled down his cheek. His mother still didn't look at him, "I know you're not going to accept this, Momma. I know you'll probably never accept this. I want you to. I love you so much, but I know that I can't live without him. I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love, and I can't ignore that anymore… So are you going to say something?"

It was a moment, until she spoke. She still didn't look at him. When she opened her mouth, her tone was low, and with venom, "You have about two minutes, to get out of this house."

"I'm still the same person I was a few minutes ago," Troy argued, tears running down his cheeks.

That's when she finally turned around to face him. She glared at him, like he was an imposter, "If you're going to choose this road, Troy, to live a hard life and be damned to hell, you are not the child I raised. Now, I'm not going to say it again. I want you out, and I don't wanna see you back."

Troy just nodded, knowing there was no getting through to her. He left the house, buckling down to cry over his steering wheel before he left the driveway.

On the way home, he got a call from his Nana. She ordered him to drive over to her house so she could give him a whooping. He didn't say anything, and hung up halfway through it. He didn't have the energy to even fight back. If he was honest with himself, he'd never had the energy to fight back. Really, what was the point?

When he parked his car, he checked his phone and read the text from his father. He couldn't read the whole thing, so he put it in the text-to-voice-message system that Annie set up for him. He instantly regretted it, when he heard what his dad had to say.

Dad: I've always known there was something wrong with you, since you were a little boy. I knew you weren't ever smart, and that you would not amount to much at all. Still, I tried my hardest to make you into a man, one that belonged to God. You have proven that there's some causes even the Lord can't save. You have broken your mother's heart. You are no longer allowed into the church or our family. I pray that you understand what a horrible choice you have made, for the sake of your soul. And I pray for the soul of this boy too, since he's the one who will have to read it for you since you're unable to do it yourself.

He made his way to his apartment, collapsing on the couch to finally lose it.

Abed, hearing the sobs, came in with a blanket, which he draped around Troy's shoulders. He didn't have much of an explanation for this action, other than he'd seen people do that to comfort those in movies. He then sat next to him, and held onto him tightly as he cried into his shoulder for a long time. Not a word was spoken between the two of them, but everything was communicated.

Troy finally spoke, in between his crazed breaths, "I lost the church, my family, everything. I should've known this would happen, but I just hoped...I'm such a fuck up, that my own mom doesn't love me anymore."

"There's nothing wrong with you, sunshine," Abed spoke calmly, but Troy could still tell there was a bit of hurt in his voice. Still, Troy relaxed a bit at the familiar pet name, "Your family doesn't deserve you. They never did."

Troy wanted to believe this, and make everything that simple, but he couldn't stop his mind from going to the worst.

"Why? Why couldn't they just have understood? Why couldn't they have told me they still loved me? Was it really that hard?"

Abed didn't say anything to that for a moment, but folded his fingers in the twists in Troy's hair, "You have a family. We came out to our family a long time ago, in the study room. I know that doesn't make this better, but you have them. And you still have me. You'll always have me."

"I know but...My dad left a horrible text message. It made me feel so horrible and so stupid… And he was right at the end. I wouldn't be able to read it. All I ever did was disappoint him. Even if I was straight, I'd always just be an idiot to him. It doesn't matter how much I've struggled. It always goes back to how I look on him… I mean, make him look." He sighed, defeated, "I can't even talk right."

Abed rubbed circles on his back, frowning as he tried to find the words, "Your dad doesn't know anything. You are creative, caring, and so emotionally intelligent. There's something wrong with him if he's not okay with that. And you can read, it just takes you longer because you have a disability. You deserve patience, understanding… Something your dad never gave you. You deserve better than that."

Troy processed this for a minute. Abed was right, of course. His father never understood him. He just barked orders and demanded excellence from him. Every single little flaw he had, his father made it known and he made him feel terrible about it. That was something that attracted Troy to Abed, that he never made him feel stupid or less of a person. It made him realize that this really was his home, his family. He wouldn't trade it for anything.

"I'm still glad I told them, I think. At least I know. But what am I going to do, now that I'm not a part of the church anymore? All the Christmas presents I didn't get, all the birthdays I didn't celebrate. Do I have to do it all at once, or should we space them out?"

"Annie just bought some groceries, so we could make a cake for you now if you want."

This got Troy excited, "Then can we go to Bed Bath and Beyond and get all the As Seen on TV Stuff?"

Abed smiled a bit, "Anything for you."

"A Huggle Hoodie might make me feel better. And a magic trick set. Oooh! Also a Magic Bullet."

Abed chuckled, kissing his forehead and breaking in before his boyfriend's mind could wander more, "We'll get all of those things."

Annie came back from her summer internship that night, to witness the horror scene of the kitchen counters filthy with flour, batter, and eggshells. Cards to a magic set were scattered all over the floor, along with lots of other toys that weren't in the apartment before. That's when she stormed into the boys' room, to find a tear-stained Troy bundled up in a blanket, resting on Abed's chest. She exchanged a look with Abed, before she decided it would be best to leave them alone.

She thoroughly cleaned the mess, until the apartment was spotless.