She lay on her back in a bed of snow. Staring up at the twinkling stars as her head spun in circles, making her feel very dizzy. The cold was burning her ears. She had grabbed her coat and stuffed her feet into a pair of boots before running out, but she wasn't dressed for the elements. Her thin pajama bottoms provided no insulation from the cold and were soaked through. Though she trembled, she did not want to go back inside, and no adult came out to make her.
"I have nothing to say to anyone who speaks at me in that way," a thick French accent could be heard through the closed door and over the moaning wind.
"You deserve it," Nicky muttered darkly, though she was moderately impressed at how the timid Au Pair her parents had hired to come along on their winter vacation and teach her French could suddenly sound so confident under Marka's wrath.
The door opened and Nicky turned her head to see her father storm out of the chalet they had rented for their annual Christmas Ski Vacation. Not that Les had done much skiing. He had taken full advantage of their vacant accommodations while his wife was on the slopes, and Nicky could always be counted upon to make herself scarce. She spent most of her time down at the lodge with other rich kids who couldn't handle the abundance of family togetherness, and who didn't want to ski.
Les didn't notice Nicky as he got into the SUV they'd driven up the mountain in, and a few minutes later Genevieve flew out the door and slammed it behind her. She was cursing in rapid French as she stumbled through the heavy white snow to climb into the truck beside Nicky's father. The tires burled in the slush as Les put it into gear. The red light from the taillights glowed on Nicky's cheeks and then they were gone.
"Huh," Nicky exhaled.
She could see her breath in front of her and started trying to blow smoke rings by pursing her lips. Her teeth were beginning to chatter and she could no longer feel her toes. Her body felt numb, which was welcoming compared to how numb her insides had felt sitting inside the chalet listening to her parents and Genevieve scream at each other. She felt safer out here, perfectly still in the snow where her worst fears and anxieties couldn't get to her.
That was until she heard the shattering of glass from inside the chalet, followed by excruciating sobs from her mother. Left alone on Christmas Eve, by a husband of fifteen years who had chosen to drive off with his mistress instead of apologizing. Nicky didn't think her Dad cared one bit just how crazy he was driving her mom. Nicky didn't know if she cared anymore either. She was sick of all of them. For the constant drama and disinterest in herself.
She bit down hard on the inside of her cheek until she tasted blood, listening to her mother cry inside and fighting back tears of her own. It was a battle she was losing and she felt them freeze to her cheeks and snot leak from her nose. Her hands were cold as ice without mittens on as she wiped her face off.
She was daydreaming about laying out here all night until she froze to death or at least became unconcious. She wondered how long it would take to be found and if she'd be fussed over when she was discovered? Would her mom feel guilty for her emotional outburst while her daughter lay in the snow and suffered? Or would she just blame Nicky's Dad again for destroying them both? Nicky was curious to know and she closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep. Wanting to be comfortable with that. The stillness of night and the background music of owls hooting and a tormented woman crying. It was all too much though, and Nicky reluctantly struggled up off of the ground and went inside once she couldn't hear her mom anymore.
"Where did Dad go?" Nicky asked, stepping inside the beautiful mountain retreat.
"Better question is where did you go?" Marka asked, red rimmed eyes widening at the sight of Nicky dripping slush and snow onto the hardwood floors.
"You look terrible," Marka remarked, taking in her daughter's cherry red face and frozen stiff hair.
"You look worse," Nicky retorted, slipping her arms out of her coat. "Where did Dad go, Mom?"
"Does it matter?" Marka said in a broken voice, as fresh tears welled in her bright blue eyes. She brushed them impatiently away.
"I can't do this anymore, Nicky," Marka shuddered. "I can't stay married to a man who would leave his family on Christmas to go screw around with some young thing. How many times do I have to look the other way?"
"Dad's not the kind to settle down with just one woman," Nicky said calmly, reaching for the quilt slung over the back of one of the couches and wrapping it around herself, so that only her eyes peeked out.
"I'm surprised you didn't figure that out before you married him," she added as an afterthought.
"Whose side are you on?" Marka asked in a hurt voice.
"Neithers," Nicky said automatically. "I'd be on the side of the parent who didn't ruin a family vacation for once, but why break with tradition?"
"Well, this is never going to happen again because I'm done this time," Marka told her. "I told him not to come back and I'm going to call a divorce lawyer first thing when we get home."
Nicky's enormous brown eyes blinked at her a few times.
"You always say that," she waved her off.
"This time I mean it," Marka said firmly, sniffling quietly as she straightened her posture resolutely.
Nicky continued to stare at her. Les never had much respect for anything his wife told him, so Nicky didn't believe he wouldn't come back for them even if he wasn't welcome. Maybe he was just driving Genevieve to the airport and tomorrow Nicky could joke with him at brunch about how it was his fault she wouldn't be able to put fluency in French down on her resume someday.
Les had done this so many times by now that he had it down to an almost perfect science. He'd know exactly what to say to get Marka to begrudgingly give him another chance and then tomorrow they'd probably go skiing together and to a romantic dinner in the lodge to mark this fresh start. Completely uncaring that another holiday had once again been ruined for their daughter.