Ryan felt his throat tighten when he sat down in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to his partner, the sight thereof still bothering him greatly.
By the time he returned to the hospital to excuse the security detail and settle in for the night, Esposito had been moved to a regular room, sleeping peacefully and yet, looking so painfully lost in that bed.
Going from the protector by his side, the guy who always could see trouble coming a mile away to this…it wasn't right on so many levels.
Beside the fact that Ryan still blamed himself for not pushing more when Beckett announced her and Javi would take off, not asking if he could come along while CSU did their thing, he felt awful about the entire situation, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end at the thought of just how badly things could have turned out.
Glancing back up at his partner, he flinched at the bruising along the side of his face, what was visible of his temple a black and blue mess, his lip swollen, right hand in a cast, chest wrapped in some tight material to keep everything where it belonged.
It made Javi look helpless, going against the very essence of who he was and what he stood for.
"Yo, it's kinda creepy if you're just gonna sit there and not say anything…"
Esposito's hoarse voice made him flinch, nearly jump out of the chair and Ryan drew in a sharp breath, running a nervous hand down his purple tie as he cleared his throat.
"It's your own fault for looking like you're dead, man."
The comment made the other detective slowly open his eyes, fighting against the exhaustion and pain meds clouding his system.
"By the way, Jenny made some chocolate chip cookies for you. There's a whole bag here on your table once you feel up to it."
Ryan waited for him to carefully turn his head, wincing under his breath, until his gaze focused on him.
"Tell her I appreciate it. They're my favorite. You…you indicted Steward yet?"
"No, not yet. Beckett and Castle are working on it though. In the meantime, I am here to keep you company and to…to protect you. Just in case these guys that kidnapped you would return. Beckett was going to post a guard so I volunteered."
"I won't get a break from you even outside of work?", Esposito teased, his warm, brown eyes scanning his partner intently.
"Not this time. We're gonna be attached at the hip for a long, long time."
"I guess I can handle that. After all…you have a lot to lose here. Not everyone is as lucky to have a suave, funny and tough partner like myself. Would make you want to work extra hard to keep me safe…"
"The pain meds sure as hell aren't doing your ego any favors…", Ryan answered with a grin, then reached over to carefully pat his partner's chest, "I'm just glad you're gonna be ok. You had us worried there for a while. Those few weeks you get to spend behind a desk will fly by, I promise."
"Not even worried, bro. Just glad they let me keep my underwear on…"
Esposito's voice began to trail off again, his eyes slowly drifting shut.
Unwilling to move for fear of rustling his partner awake again, Ryan remained perfectly still, relieved when he saw Esposito's features relax, his breathing returning to its slow and steady rhythm.
"Get some rest, Javi.", he finally whispered, "I'll be here when you wake up."